Guardian Blues
by GuardianEnzo
Summary: Set immediately after "Roots and Branches". In a net still under the shadow of Daemon, Enzo must face the perils of life and romance at the Academy while trying to stay true to himself. Reviews Appreciated!
1. Prologue

Note: This fic is set immediately after "Roots and Branches" - which was written before S4 aired. I decided to more or less stick to my universe, so there are going to be differences with ReBoot orthodoxy, such as the existence of Laser as head of the Academy and a still unified Glitch and Bob. I'll try an stick as close to canon as I can.  
  
  
  
GUARDIAN BLUES  
  
  
  
PROLOGUE  
  
  
  
Well, maybe you'd believe it.  
  
If you'd been there before, I guess you would. But I never have. Bob and Matrix and AndrAIa, they'd seen it all - the net, the web, all of it. I've been in loads of games with Bob but it's not the same thing, I guess. I mean - when I first saw the net it was so cool, you just wouldn't believe it. Maybe you would, like I said - but I couldn't. Whatever.  
  
You have to understand, this was the first time I ever left home. Ever. So even though I was excited and nervous and everything, pretty much my whole brain was on Dot and how much I was gonna miss her, and how much she was gonna miss me. I didn't cry the whole time we were saying goodbye and I was still trying really hard not to - but it wasn't easy. It was just a way for my processor to remind me that I'm still basically a little kid.  
  
But as soon as I saw the net, I freaked out and everything else was blown out of my head, even Dot. For a little while, anyways. User, it was cool! Bob was holding my hand and it was all around us, like we were swimming in the data sea but different too, it's hard to explain. We were in a little bubble type-thing that Bob had generated - he said it protected us from code dilution and other stuff I didn't understand, but we were still part of the net.  
  
The net is a lot of things - it's energy, it's information, and it's space - lots of space. You could feel all of that stuff around you - actually see the information kinda, as it traveled to wherever it was going. You could feel the energy dancing all over your body, everywhere - it prickled on my skin and made me shiver a little bit at first. There was sound, too - a little bit like a lot of people whispering really quietly, and also a kind of low buzzing noise that you almost couldn't hear unless you really listened hard for it.  
  
When we'd cleared the portal and we were in free space, Bob smiled at me and turned me around to look back at something. Even with all the information and energy flowing around most of the net was just the third thing - space. Empty space. But there was one thing in all that empty space that stood out from the rest of it.  
  
Mainframe.  
  
I'd never seen Mainframe from outside Mainframe before. Well, obviously - but hey, I hadn't. It was incredible - bright, and shining, and blue and gold and it filled almost half my line of vision 'cause we were still pretty close. But it still seemed tiny to me. How could that be the place I'd spent my whole life?  
  
Remember I said how I got through the whole saying goodbye thing without crying? Well, now I did. Not like a datafall or anything but just a little, a few drops on my cheeks and a couple of breaths that were halfway between a sob and a sigh. Bob squeezed my hand. "What's wrong, Kiddo?"  
  
"Its really beautiful." I whispered. And it was. It was big, it was tiny, it was all that other stuff - but most of all it was beautiful. And that was probably part of the reason I almost lost it.  
  
But the bigger part was that when I saw it from here, from outside - that's when it really hit me that I was gone. That Dot - and Bob, soon enough - were in that shiny globe and I wasn't going to be, not very often and not for a long time. I was going far away and soon I wouldn't even be able to see that beautiful blue place. That was hard to take.  
  
"It's safe, right? No one can find it?"  
  
"It's safe." Bob said softly. "Mouse is the best at what she does."  
  
"Good." I sighed. That was the other thing that hit me like a chron virus - Mainframe didn't look so invincible, not from here. It was just a little place in a very big net inside an even bigger web. But it had the smartest, toughest sprites in the net looking out for it.  
  
It was time to go - that beautiful little place would be waiting for me when I came back, it had to be. Meantime I had to be strong and keep myself together. It wasn't like home, where Dot would always be there to comfort me when I needed it. Bob was here, now, but I wanted to get into the habit of standing up to things myself, and this was as good a place as any to start. I squeezed Bob's hand and turned away from home. "Let's go." 


	2. The Freak

CHAPTER I

THE FREAK

Bob loved to tell me stories – ever since I met him.  He'd tell me tales of the supercomputer where he grew up, all the games he's been in (and that really offlined Dot for a long time) – but most of all he loved to tell me about the Guardian Academy.

I guess that might be a big reason why I wanted to go to the Academy so much.  That and just generally wanting to be like Bob.  Bob is my best friend, ever.  He came to Mainframe and right away he treated me really nice – like I was _his_ friend, too.  I guess he knew I didn't have any friends my age – and I'm sure Dot told him anyway.  He didn't _have_ to be great to me, that's the point.  But he was.  He talked to me and took me into games - when Dot let him - and played jetball, took me circuit racing…  He let me help when he worked on his car and told me jokes and taught me neat little stuff.  Its only now that I realize just how pathetically lonely I was – but it doesn't even really matter.  Bob was still great.

So even if that were all there was to Bob, I'd probably have wanted to be like him.  But it wasn't.  Bob is the bravest guy I've ever met.  He never acts like he's afraid, and he never backs down from a fight.  He never _looks_ for a fight either – I guess that's the difference between him and Matrix.  He's great at figuring stuff out in games.  He does all that without making anyone feel small or stupid, though – and he still loves to have fun.  And on top of all that, he's got the coolest job in the net.  So I guess, looking back, I never really had a chance.

Guess I got distracted – I was talking about Bob and his Academy stories.  When Bob went there it was in the supercomputer, and they had almost 1000 cadets.  Crash!  I couldn't even imagine that.  They had a bunch of dorms and a keytool repository and scads of teachers and their own shops and sports teams, and even a dedicated security force of over 50 CPUs and armored vehicles.  Wow.

Well, now it was a little different.  The new Academy had been set up on Gallifrey Seven, which was a small system with ports to the net.  Like Mainframe it's location had been hidden where nobody was gonna find it – guess who was responsible for that?  There were only like 120 cadets now, and not a lot of extra stuff.  And since Laser was the only clean Guardian we knew of besides Matrix, there were no keytools either.  Except Galileo, which was his.  And he actually let me use it one time, which was alphanumeric.  

So I knew a lot of stuff was gonna be different than it was in Bob's stories.  But that was OK, I guess.  It was still T_he Academy_ – and when everything was filed and processed that was what counted.  Right up until the nano Bob opened the portal and we stepped through onto Gallifrey it never quite seemed totally real to me.  But that all changed the nano I set foot in the system.

I guess it was a cycle of firsts for me.  That was my first step on a system besides home.  Bob squeezed my hand and grinned at me.  "So – whaddaya think, Tiger?"

"Pixelacious.  You've never been here before, have you?"

"Nope.  Just read the reports.  It's a good system – secure location, good infrastructure.  Maybe it lacks a certain charm that Mainframe has…"  
  


"Yeah."  I looked around.  It was nice enough – not as green as Mainframe.  There was nothing like Floating Point or anything like that.  I could see their P.O. off in the distance – it was smaller than ours back home.  The energy sea skirted along the edge of the city in a long blue ribbon.  A small group of buildings and stuff clustered around the P.O.

"There it is."  Bob pointed.  I looked.  Set off away from the rest of the city, on a little hill, there was a modest complex of buildings, all golden colored.  Most of them were pretty small – two or three stories high.  There were a few green fields mixed in – I guessed they were for physical education and stuff like that.  I could see little dots as sprites zipped back and forth between the buildings, and faintly hear the voices carrying down to me.  And on the biggest building – the one right in the middle – there was a big gold and black icon.

The Academy.  I was here.

"Crash." I said softly.  

"Don't worry, Kiddo.  You belong here.  Just remember that and you'll be fine."

"K."  I took a deep breath and felt a big knot forming in my stomach.  Bob popped open his zip board and I did the same, and we gathered up all our stuff and started off towards the campus on the hill.

Bob opened up a vidwindow.  "Anybody home?"

A face popped up, someone I didn't recognize.  It was a guy who looked like he was maybe a little younger than Matrix, wearing a uniform like Bob's.  He looked a little nervous.  "Please state your name and function."

"Guardian 452."  Bob said it with that same pixelacious calm that he always seemed to have, no matter what.  "I have a first-hour I'm escorting in for the semester.  You should be expecting me."

The young guy looked even more nervous.   "You're…  Guardian 452?"

"Uh – yeah!"  

"OK.  Come over to the front gate – I'll let them know you're here."

"Thanks.  Let the Headmaster know I'm here too, willya?"

"Yeah.  I m-mean – yes, Sir!  Wow…"

"Thanks!" Bob chuckled and closed the vidwindow. 

"I guess they know who you are, huh?"

He looked at me and winked.  "Guess so.  Nothing special I did – I guess if you're the last clean PID word's gonna get around.  You ready?"

"I guess so."

"Cool."  The thought occurred to me that if the other cadets saw I was with Bob, it was gonna change the way they looked at me.  It could be good – maybe they'd respect me a little more than they would for just being the youngest, littlest kid in the Academy.  But maybe some of them would be jealous of me.  And there'd be a lot more pressure, too…

Well, there was nothing I could do about it anyways – no way was I gonna pretend I wasn't there with Bob.  I was deleted proud of that – I was _Bob's_ student.  Even Bob's _kid_, and although I had my insecurities about that Bob went out of his way to make sure I knew that's how _he_ thought of me.  It was one of the best things about me, and no way was I gonna run away from it.  I'd just have to deal with whatever the other kids thought about it, and if they didn't like it they could kiss my bitmap.

"Here we go." Bob grinned, and squeezed my shoulder.  There was a proxy security setup with one guy manning it – again, he looked a little younger than Matrix' age – maybe 1.9 or something.  I guess I didn't have much experience guessing ages of anybody under 2.5.  "Hey!  Special delivery for you."

The kid smiled nervously.  "I…  We need to scan your PID, Sir.  Just for security."

"Sure."  Bob stepped up to the scanner and it beeped once, then twice.

"You too." The guy waved me over.  

"Oh!  OK."  I took my icon off and held it up to the scanner.  I guess I checked out too – it beeped twice and he waved us inside.  "Thanks."

We stowed our zips and walked through the security doorway.  "Sir, if I can ask – are you really-"

"Yup." Bob sighed.  "You can tell your grandkids about it someday."

I giggled – which was no small feat, scared and nervous as I was.  We walked into the main building, the one with the icon on the side.  There wasn't anyone around, but as we passed a couple of rooms with closed doors I could hear people talking inside.  Offices, I guessed.

Then, out of nowhere, two sprites walked around a corner, talking and laughing.  And I just about lost what little composure I had, right then.

Kids.

No matter much I tried to prepare myself for that nano, I never really had a chance.  It was so weird, so unreal to see them – I know my eyes must have been as big as jetballs.  But cut me a little slack – try to imagine being a kid and _never_ seeing any other kids.  I don't know how I managed to get through it, sometimes – and believe me, sometimes it was really hard.  You can't imagine how lonely I was.  Matrix at least got AndrAIa, just when he needed her – but no one ever came for me.  As nice as Bob and AndrAIa and the others were, as much as they tried to make time for me - it just wasn't the same.

Basically I never saw another kid my age after I was about 0.4 – and who remembers anything from when they were 0.4?  The closest thing was Matrix – and he's like twice my age – and Mac, who's so little he hardly counts and he can't even talk yet.  That's not very close.

So when I saw those two kids come around the corner, I just crashed.  System overload.  It was a boy and a girl – I don't know exactly how old they were.  He was maybe 1.4, and she might've been 1.5 or1.6 – but they were _kids_.  They weren't much bigger than me, really.  They weren't in uniform because the semester hadn't started yet – they were wearing training shorts and plan gray T-shirts.  They were just walking and talking, smiling.  And she was pretty.

When I saw them my eyes went wide and, like I said, I just froze.  I couldn't move, even blink.  I don't even wanna think about what I looked like to them.  All I could do was stare.  They stopped talking and nodded politely at Bob, and he said "Hey."  They looked over at me and I guess they looked curious, maybe even like they were about to smile – but they didn't look mean, not really.  And all I could do was stare, look at them even after they passed us and watch them walk down the hall and not even blink.

"Tiger?"

I don't know how many times he had to say it before I heard it – maybe once, maybe a hundred times.  "Tiger!  C'mon – let's go see my Dad."

When I finally heard his voice it sorta broke me out of the spell I was in.  I thought about those other kids and how comfortable and relaxed they looked and how stupid I must have looked and I just groaned and dropped my stuff and threw my arms around Bob's waist and buried my face in his chest.

"Hey – what's wrong, Enzo?"

"Bob…"  I didn't even want to look at him.  I just felt totally overwhelmed and I was ashamed of it.  "Bob, I don't think I can do it!"

"What?  Do what?"

"I don't think I can handle it, Bob.  I can't deal with other kids, I just can't!  I don't know how to talk, what to say-"

"Whoa!  Chill, Enzo."  He wrapped me up and laughed softly.  "Take it easy.  You'll do just fine."

"I'm a freak!"

"Of course you're not!  Why would you say that?"

I couldn't bring myself to look at him – I just let him hold me and didn't look up.  "I…  I don't even know how to be around other kids.  I don't!  And there's like a hundred of 'em here and they'll all think I'm weird and totally basic-"

"Stop it.  You're a good kid – everybody back home likes you, don't they?"

"But – you guys are all grown-ups, and I _know_ you…"

"Sprites are sprites, Enzo.  If anything you'll think it's easier to talk to these kids – you're all in this together.  You've got a lot in common.  They're gonna like you fine, stop worrying."

I took a deep breath and finally looked up at him.  "But what if they think I'm, you know…  _Weird_?"

"They won't!  Don't be basic."

"But I -"

"End file." Bob sighed.  "Enzo, everybody who knows you likes you.  You're the most likable sprite I know!  Crash, you got Matrix to like you and after that, how could _anything_ be a challenge?"  That managed to bring a half a smile.  "All you have to do is just be yourself and it'll be fine, Tiger.  I promise – after a couple of cycles you'll get used to the other kids and it'll be easy as can be."

"But – what if I _don't_ get used to it?  I-"

"You will.  I promise."

"But-"

"Just trust me, OK?"  He knelt a little so we were eye to eye.  "Isn't this what you wanted – what you've been working towards?  Being here, learning to be a Guardian?"

"Yeah."  I sighed.

"Didn't you want to see some of what's out there besides Mainframe?  Meet sprites your own age, make friends?"

"Yeah!  But I didn't think it'd be so…"

"Trust me." He repeated, with a grin.  "If I didn't think you could do this, you think I would have let you come here?  I'm gonna miss you like crazy every cycle, Kiddo – but I really believe you can do this.  So does Dot.  Do you think we'd let you go away if we didn't believe you could handle it?  If we didn't believe it was the best thing for you?"

I tried to smile back.  "No.  No, I guess not."

"There ya go.  Everything new is tough at first, but you'll handle it.  After all you've dealt with already this is nothing.  Look at it as an opportunity!  Don't think I can't see how hard it's been for you, not having any friends your age.  You can't even imagine how much you'll grow from being here.  So relax!  Get settled, enjoy yourself.  OK?"

"OK, Bob.  I'll try.  Thanks."

"Not a problem."  Then he surprised me and kissed me on the forehead, which he'd almost never done.  I can't even tell you how much that meant to me at that nano – I couldn't even try.  Start with everything, and build from there.  "Now – you ready to go see Laser?"

"Yeah."  I hugged him, hard, and we picked up the stuff and moved off down the hall.  We didn't see any more kids – I guess most of them hadn't arrived yet, or they were in the dorms.  I just thought about everything Bob had said and tried to get myself to believe it.  It would have been a close call, but somehow he'd known how to get me where I needed to be, emotionally.  Maybe living with Dot had rubbed off on him


	3. G Minor

GUARDIAN BLUES

CHAPTER II

Lyrics to "Ramblin' Boy" (paraphrased) are by Tom Paxton

The building seemed bigger on the inside than it had on the outside – maybe it was a Gallifrey thing.  Bob seemed sure of himself, though.  "You know where you're going?"

"Yeah, I've seen the schematics.  The whole building is set up like a wheel, and Laser's office is at the hub."  

"Cool."  I thought it was kinda funny that Bob called his Dad 'Laser' when we were talking – and that popped a thought into my processor.  "Uh, Bob?  What should _I_ call him?"

"Who – Laser?"  I nodded.  "Well – I don't think 'Grandpa' would be appropriate."

I laughed.  "Bob!  I'm serious."

Bob scratched his chin.  "When I was in school we called the head of the Academy "Headmaster".  I think that should be fine."

"OK."  User, it was a lot to think about – I'd basically been dealing with the same set of sprites my whole life, the same place – and now everything was gonna be different.  Sure, it was exciting, but…

"Well – look what the tide dragged in."

"Hi, Dad."  Bob set down the stuff he was carrying and walked through the open door to Laser's office.  I did the same.  Laser got up from behind his desk and stared at Bob with his hands on his hips.  He looked good – he's not a real big guy, but there's something about him that impresses you.  He didn't look any older than the last time I'd seen him – if anything, he looked younger.  I figured he must really enjoy his job.

He smiled and stuck out his hand, and Bob took it.  They held the handshake for a long time, just sort of looking at each other.  Bob made a little uncomfortable move towards him, then stopped and grinned.  Laser lifted up his arm and held it for a nano, then patted Bob on the shoulder.  "How you doing, Son?"

"Good, Dad."  Bob sideways patted Laser's arm.  "It's great to see you again.  You're OK?"

"Fine."  Laser looked down at me for the first time – I'd sort of been hovering half behind Bob.  I could feel myself trembling a little – Laser has a very intense stare.  "Enzo – good to see you again, too.  Welcome to the Academy."

"Thank you, Sir."  I smiled as best I could, wondering if we were supposed to shake.  I guess so – he held out his hand and I took it, as hard and firm as I could.

"Ow!  You trying to break my hand, Cadet?"

"Sorry!" I gasped, and pulled my hand back.

"I'll live." He smiled, and stepped past me to close the door.  He sat down behind his desk and Bob and I sat in the chairs in front of it.  It was a much simpler office than I'd expected – a plain desktop and a few chairs, a workstation, nothing much up on the walls except the walls.  "So – we've finally got our youngest cadet where he belongs.  Bob been teaching you well, Enzo?"

"Yes, Headmaster.  He's great."

"You don't have to call me that when its just us." Laser chuckled.

"Big cycle for Enzo, Dad." Bob grinned, patting me on the back.  He left his hand on my neck and gave it a little squeeze, just to help me calm down, I guess.  "Biggest cycle of his life, maybe."

"I can imagine."  The smile was gone from Laser's face – he didn't smile much, from what I remembered – but somehow he looked pleased anyway.  "How you feeling, Cadet?  Excited?  Scared?"

"Yes.  Yes." I replied in the steadiest voice I could find.

Laser chuckled a little.  "Well – that's as it should be.  I'd be worried if you weren't."  He put his elbows on his desk and leaned across a little.  "Don't be too nervous about being the youngest cadet, Enzo.  I know a little something about that myself – I was the youngest cadet when I enrolled at the Academy."

"Dude - really?"  My stomach did a couple of turns when I realized I'd just called the highest ranking Guardian in the net "Dude".

"I sure was.  I was a pretty brash kid, but when I got here and saw all those hairy chests and brawny arms there were a few nervous nanos, I can promise."

"See, Enzo?" Bob offered.  "You just gotta roll with it and you'll be fine."

"Yeah.  Thanks, I'm sure I'll be cool."

"Good boy." Laser nodded at me.  "I'm the headmaster of this place, Enzo, and I consider myself responsible for everything that happens inside it.  The most important responsibility is the safety and welfare of the cadets in my protection.  So if there's ever an issue that's troubling you, don't hesitate to come and talk to me about it, all right?  That's true for every cadet in here, and it's most certainly true for you."

"Thank you, Headm-  Sir.  Thanks a lot, that makes me feel better."

"Not promising you'll like what I say, mind you – but I'll listen.  But if you expect things to be easy around here, you're wrong – so don't expect a lot of sympathy if you think things are too tough."

"No Sir.  I know it'll be tough.  But I…  I want to work hard.  I _have_ been working pretty hard."

"He has, Dad.  He's been a good student."

"I'm sure he has.  And I'm sure you'll do fine.  Now - let's get to some specifics.  I took the liberty of seeing to your living arrangements.  One of the luxuries of not having so many cadets, I suppose – let's me take a personal hand in things.  I've assigned you a roommate – a young man from Helios, another first-hour.  I've seen the reports, he looks like a good kid.  He turns 1.5 during the term.  I think he's a good match for you.  He should arrive tomorrow."

"OK…  Thanks."  More overwhelmed feelings.   A roommate!

"We'll get you a readme with all the details on house rules and class schedules and the like – I just want to go over a few things right now, OK?"

"Sure."  
  


"Dorms are set up two cadets to a room, with a bathroom on every floor.  There's currently 62 cadets assigned to the boys' dorm, so you can do the math.  There are no kitchens  - you're not here to learn to cook like your sister Dot.  Meals are in the common mess hall – if you're late, you're hungry.  Food's good – it'll keep you strong and healthy enough. With me so far?"

"Yes, Sir."

"There's an instructor in each dorm – your House Master.  He's in charge of you when you're not in class.  Lights out is thirty hundred – no exceptions.  And you might have guessed that if we have a boys' dorm, we probably also have what?"

"Uh – a girls' dorm?"

"Right." He smiled.  "And that's the last word I want to hear from you about the girls' dorm.  I think you're probably familiar with the term, 'off-limits'.  Well, it applies here.  Understood?"

I felt a good blush forming on my cheeks and ears.  "Understood."

"Good.  You'll notice I called it a boys' dorm – you can think of it as a men's dorm if you like.  We don't have the luxury of different class tracks and dorms for different ages any more – cadets are first-hours and second-hours – that's it.  That means that even though you're only 1.3, I'll expect the same level of maturity from you that I do from every first-hour."

"Yes, Sir.  I'll try."

"I know you will, Son.  Just remember – the only time you'll be treated like a child here is if you act like one.  We're not your mothers and fathers, and this isn't a nursery.  You're here to learn, and if you conduct yourself like a responsible person you'll be treated like one.  Being a Guardian is about being responsible for yourself as much as the sprites you're assigned to protect.  Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

"Yes, Sir!"  I felt a thrill rush through me as I listened to him.  It was really good to be talked to like an adult.

"Good."  I looked over at Bob, and he smiled at me.  "This isn't a perfect situation, Cadet – we're at war, and we're all doing the best we can.  That's all I expect from you.  If you do that you'll come away from here knowing exactly who you are and how much you're capable of.  You'll be able to think for yourself, make decisions for yourself – and sprites will be counting on you to be their protector and friend.  How does that sound?"

"Alphanumeric." I whispered.  I hadn't felt like that since Bob gave me the protocols when I was 1.0.  "I promise – I'll do it!"

"Welcome to the Academy."  He stuck out his hand and smiled.  "You've got the right bloodlines, Son – and you've had a pretty good teacher these last few hours.  There's no doubt in my mind you'll be a fine Guardian."

"Thank you."  I shook his hand again – softer, this time – and smiled.  "I'll do my best."

"That's pretty good, if you ask me." Bob grinned and clapped me on the shoulder.  "Why don't you go over to the dorm – check out your room and just chill for a few micros.  It's been a pretty full cycle already.  I'll talk to Laser for a little bit and meet you over there."

"Cool.  Thanks, Bob."

"What about you, Bob?  I thought we'd put you in an apartment in the staff building."

"Sounds good – but I think I'll crash in Enzo's room tonight – just for old times sake." Bob winked at me.  "Check out the digs, right Kid?  I'll probably be here two or three nights – I'll bum over to the staff apartment tomorrow.  OK with you, Enzo?"

"Sure." I grinned.  I knew exactly why he was doing it, and I suppose if I'd been really firm on my promise to myself I'd have told him not to – but I really wanted him there.  It might even be fun.

"Fair enough." Laser said with a small frown.  "I'll get one of the second-hours to show you around and help you with your gear, Cadet."

"Thanks!"  It was the best I'd felt all cycle – in all the scariness and worry during the trip and arriving and everything, I'd sorta forgotten why I was coming in the first place.  Laser had a way of inspiring you like nobody else I knew – I remembered from his trip to Mainframe.  He really stoked me up.  I don't know if he took that much time with every new cadet – I guess probably not – but it was still very cool.

Laser opened a vidwindow and gave a command, and a couple of millis later a kid knocked on the door of his office – well, sorta half-kid, half-adult.  A second-hour.  Laser introduced him to us – his name was Helix - and we shook hands. He looked a little awed of Bob just like the others had been.  He picked up a bunch of my stuff and I took the rest and we headed off down the hallway.

"Where you from?" I was still a little nervous and I tried to hear some challenge in his voice, but he seemed friendly enough.

"Mainframe.  You?"

"Supercomputer.  Not much left of it now – we got out when I was 1.3."

"Yeah, sorry.  We almost lost Mainframe, too.  1.3?  Uh – that's how old I am now."

"Yeah?"  He gave me a quick look.  "I figured you were maybe 1.1 – not much to you, is there?"

I didn't say anything right away.  He probably didn't mean anything by it, but it stung me quite a bit.  "I guess."

"No biggie.  We'll take what we can get – in case you hadn't noticed this ain't exactly the supercomputer.  You came in with Guardian 452?"

"Yeah."  I was ready to fight him if he ragged on me for it, but he didn't.

"That's pretty awesome.  I hear he merged with his keytool."

"Yeah, he did."  We were on my turf now, talking about Bob.  I didn't want to get in the habit of trading on his name, but it was my first cycle…  "He did it to save Mainframe and get everyone home from the web."

"The web?  Random access!   No one's ever merged with his keytool before.  He sounds pretty amazing."

"Well, he had to save the system.  To mend and defend – you know?  That's Bob."

We'd arrived at the boys' dorm - a plain-looking square building tucked in behind the big building where the offices were.  Helix set my stuff down and palmed his icon in front of the security console.  It beeped and the door opened, and he nodded me after him.  "This is it – not much to it, but its home.  Four floors – you're in 32, third floor.  Mess hall and House Master's quarters are on this level.  Rec room, too – simulators and vidscreen and pinball - stuff like that.  Pretty cool.  Bathrooms one to a floor upstairs.  Your room is coded to accept your PID scan for access.  Any questions?"

"No – I guess not."  I looked around the dorm as we rode up in the elevator, which had clear doors and walls.  It wasn't anything fancy, that was for sure.  We got off on the third floor and he took a left.  Room 32 was the fourth one down.

"Go ahead – try the panel and make sure your icon works."

"OK."  I took off my icon and held it to the door.  It beeped once and slid open.  "Coolness!"

"That's coded to open only for you and your roommate, the House Master, and the teaching staff.  Some free advice?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't go out without your icon.  It's a long walk from the showers to the Master's office downstairs, and no one is gonna feel sorry for you.  Got it?"

"Yeah!  Thanks."

He set my stuff down and looked around.  The room was just that – a room.  There were two beds on opposite corners, foot lockers at the foot of the beds, two small desks on facing walls and a couple of simple chairs – that was it.  "Looks like your roommate isn't here yet."

"No Sir.  He gets here tomorrow."

Helix frowned.  "Don't call me 'Sir' – I'm a cadet, not a teacher."

"Sorry!"  I felt another blush on my face.

"No biggie."  He pointed to the bed in the far corner. "Since you're here first, I advise you choose the bed farthest from the door – easier to grab a little privacy if you have a guest, if you get my meaning."

"Oh!  Uh…"

He chuckled and tossed my stuff on the bed.  "See that organizer on the desk?"

"Sure."

"Initialize it – set up your user name and password.  Once you do that you're the only one who can access it – not even the staff can get in without your codes.  Once you initialize it the central computer will download a bunch of stuff – you want to look at the readme first. Got descriptions of house rules, class schedules, all that stuff.  The computer will know who you are – the teachers will download assignments and stuff directly to your organizer.  There's also a log – a lot of kids  keep a journal and like I said, its totally secure.  Some games, too – mostly 'educational' ones, strategy and stuff – but some of them are pretty random access.  You getting all this?"

"Uh – yeah."  I was feeling a little mentally swamped – I realized I hadn't even set my stuff down yet.

Helix grinned.  "Don't worry about it – the readmes will tell you everything you need to know.  Keep whatever stuff you brought in that foot locker.  Wardrobe upgrades'll be downloaded onto your organizer after you input your height and weight and stuff…  Hope they make 'em that small."  He paused for a nano – maybe he was waiting to see if I'd jab back at him and maybe I should have – but I didn't say anything, just seethed a little.  "We pretty much wear shorts or sweats when we're in physical exercises or out of class – dress uniforms for classroom and events.  Got that?"

"Got it."

"Right.  I guess that about covers it.  If you have questions don't be afraid to ask a second – we've been through it and we don't bite.  Most of us anyway.  And its better not to bug the teachers with the stupid stuff.  Anything else I can do for you?"

My anger was starting to drop away again.  He seemed nice – maybe he was just kidding around.  I figured I'd better get used to it unless I started looking like Matrix real soon.  "I don't think so.  Thanks for showing me all that stuff."

"No worries."  That sounded weird – it caught me by surprise, but I didn't think much about it.  "Good luck – I'll see you out there."  He nodded at me, I nodded back and he left.

I looked around the room that would be my home for most of the next two hours.  I felt a little depressed – I missed my room at home, with all my posters and my own bed and my dirty clothes and all my junk.  At least the room had a window.  Maybe it'd look better after I fixed it up a bit…

I sat down on the bed and leaned back against the wall, and I felt really tired.  My emotions were going up and down like power surges and that's pretty exhausting.  Right now they were definitely in a down cycle – Helix' jokes about my size must have started me on a little slide, and now I was thinking about how new all of this was, how scary.  How much I was gonna miss home.  And Dot.

I don't think I was asleep for very long – it couldn't have been, because the shadows in the room were in about the same place as I remembered.  There was a light knocking at the door that woke me up.  I was disoriented for a couple of nanos, but finally I placed myself and called out "Hello?" in a muzzy voice.

"Hello!  Permission to enter, Cadet?"

It was a familiar voice, and it brought a smile to my face.  "Yeah!  Come in!"  I'd seen Ray a couple of times since he and Mouse had left when I was 1.0 – he'd been back for short visits, strategy sessions and stuff.  But I'd never been happier to see him than I was right now – he was a friendly face, and that meant the net to me.

"Hey, Kiddo!  You made it!"

"Ray!"  I bounced off the bed and I know I was grinning a system wide.  Before he knew it I wrapped myself around him and hugged him as tight as I could, which seemed to surprise him a bit.  "How you doing?"

"No worries!" he chuckled.  He pounded me on the back a couple times and looked around the room.  "So this is home, eh?"

"Yup."

He ruffled my hair and let me go, and grabbed a chair, spinning it around backwards.  He sat and I flopped down on the bed, still grinning.  "User, its good to see you, Mate!  Did you and Bob have a good trip?"

"Yeah, pixelacious.  Where's Mouse?"

"Supercomputer."  Ray must have seen the look of alarm on my face.  "I know, Kid – but she can handle herself.  She's doing a little sabotage and espionage, you know."  He tapped his nose slyly and smiled.  "She'll be back in time for classes.  How you settling in?"

"OK, I guess.  It's a little too much to take it all in right now."

"You'll manage it, no worries.  Just have to get the feel of the waves a little bit, then you'll be gold.  I see you brought your surfboard."

"Sure." I grinned.  "I'm getting pretty good on it – maybe you could give me a few lessons, when you have time."

"Definitely."  He leaned across a little closer.  "Listen Mate – one thing I do hafta tell you…  You know I'm a teacher here and everything – I have to be careful not to look like I'm playing favorites, y'know?"

"Oh sure, I know that…"  I guess I felt a little hurt, but I knew he was right.

He tousled my hair again.  "Tough thing, Kiddo.  Not really good for a teacher to be friends with the students – but we're definitely mates, and we always will be.  I guess we just need to be a little careful about palling around too much in front of the other blokes – know what I mean?"

"Yeah – definitely.  That's cool."

"Good lad.  Doesn't change a thing, Enzo – you're still one of my best mates, and I'll definitely be there anytime you need to talk or just hang out.  Let's just keep it low-key, and it'll be fine.  OK?"

"No worries." I smiled.

"Heh!  All you young blokes are starting to talk like me!"  He sat next to me and wrapped his arm around me.  "Don't worry too much – you'll get through this fine.  Good people here, Enzo – the teachers really care about the kids, and the kids really believe in what they're doing.  Bright lad like you is gonna fit right in.   And if you ever need me, just call me."

"Thanks, Ray."  It was definitely a relief knowing that Ray and Mouse would be around – that there was at least someone here who knew me for who I was.  The Mainframe Enzo.  Because after Bob went home this place seemed like it was going to feel pretty lonely…

I don't remember a lot about the next few micros.  Bob came back to the room and he and Ray greeted each other like long-lost brothers.  Definitely the two coolest guys I knew, and along with AndrAIa the coolest sprites in the net.  Matrix is my brother and I love him with all my heart, but he's definitely _not_ cool.

The three of us went and had dinner in Laser's apartment, which was pretty much like his office – plain.  I don't think Laser can cook to save his code, so we ordered a bunch of stuff from a restaurant in the town.  I didn't say a whole lot during the meal – I was a little bit intimidated by the three of them, and a little overwhelmed by the whole cycle.  I wasn't even really sure I wanted to eat, to be honest – but the food smelled really good and I hadn't eaten all day and that kinda overcame the nervousness in my stomach so I ate.  A lot.

After we'd eaten Bob asked me if I wanted to go out and take a look at the town – Ray said there wasn't much to it, but the people were nice enough.  I begged off and said I was tired – which was pretty much true.  Bob promised to take me around town the next day after breakfast and I said that would be cool.  I told Bob I was gonna hang out in my room and he said he'd be back after a little while.  I knew he and the others wanted to talk Daemon – normally I'd have killed to be there, but I'd already had too much input that cycle.  Besides, I knew they'd only really talk about it after I was gone.

I walked around the campus a little bit before I went home (home – that was gonna take some getting used to…) just to burn off some nervousness.  It was almost totally dark out and the streetlights around the campus were starting to flicker on.  There was a path that wound between the buildings and around behind the campus, overlooking  the far side of the hill.  There were hardly any sprites around.  In the dim light it was actually kinda beautiful.  I just stood there for a while and watched the lights flickering on and tried to let my brain go dead for a few micros.

I took the long way back to the boys' dorm, following the path all the way around the perimeter of the campus buildings.  I was enjoying the quiet, but I also kinda wanted to walk by the girls' dorm, too – I dunno what I expected to see and I didn't end up seeing anything except a quiet building that looked just like mine.  Feeling vaguely disappointed, I headed back for home.

I could hear a couple of people yelling when I got into the main corridor – they sounded like kids my age or a little older, and they sounded like they were having fun.  Probably in the rec room.  I thought real hard about going over there – a part of me really, really wanted to.  But another part of me was afraid, no matter what Bob had said earlier.  And right then that part was stronger.  I stood and listened to them for a couple of nanos, then took the elevator upstairs to my room, hating myself just a little bit for doing it.

Once I was back in my room I started to feel really lonely.  I almost went back out and tried to find Laser's apartment again just so I wouldn't have to be by myself, but I didn't.  That would have made me look pretty basic.  Being alone wasn't anything really new for me – especially since Mac was born I'd been spending a lot more time by myself.  But that was different – I knew that at the end of the cycle Dot would always be there, and Bob was always close by if I needed him.  But that's not how it was gonna be here.

I tried to think about Matrix – about everything he'd been through, and how much worse that was.  How I was being a baby.  But I'm _not_ Matrix.  I don't have AndrAIa.  And my life is different than his life.  Maybe I'd had too much time to think about everything.  And right then everything was new and scary…

I could feel that sense of being overwhelmed creeping up on me again, no matter how hard I tried to fight it off.  I felt about 0.0 – alone and scared.  I just kept thinking about how I wasn't going to be sleeping in my own bed in my own room, and Dot wasn't gonna be there in the morning or even to kiss me goodnight.  Every cycle I can remember, no matter how busy or pregnant she was or what stuff was going on with Hex or Daemon or anybody else, Dot always kissed me goodnight.  But not tonight.

It's funny how it's the little things that bother me so much – I'd been noticing that more and more as I got older.  I needed something to distract me – anything at all.  My eyes fell on the organizer sitting on the desk and I got up to grab it, figuring on looking at the readme file Helix told me about. I initialized it like he said to – I didn't even need to think about a password.  "AndrAIa".  That was a password I'd never forget, ever.  And just as I was getting ready to pull up the readme file there was a beep and the "Incoming Call" icon flashed.

I was so surprised I just stared at it for a nano as it flashed and beeped at me.  Finally, I shook myself out of it and tapped the icon and the call window opened.  And there she was, staring right up at me like she'd been reading my thoughts.

"Dot!"

"Hi, Sweetie."  She said it casually, like she was just sitting in the next room.  She had a big smile on her face.  "How are you?"

"Dot!"  I was so surprised to see her – she seemed totally out of place in this place.  But at the same time her face was the most natural sight I've ever seen in my life – it always has been.

"I know who I am, Enzo.  Are you all right?"

"Uh, yeah!  I'm fine.  I'm just – surprised.  I didn't think you'd call…"

"Well, it wasn't easy." She giggled.  "You have no idea how hard it was, actually – Mouse has more security protocols tied into our locations than anyplace else in the net, probably.  But I just thought – well…  It was your first night away and all, I thought it'd be nice."

"Oh, yeah!  I'm glad you called."  I sat down at the desk and put my face close to the organizer, probably too close but I just wanted to see every pixel of her face.  I felt about 0.0 again, but this time it was in a good way.  "Dot, I'm so glad to see you."

"You too, Kiddo.  How's the cycle gone – everything OK?  Where's Bob?"

"With Laser.  I'm OK - just tired.  I still can't really believe I'm here."

"Well – you've had a big cycle.  How do you like Gallifrey so far?  How's the Academy?"

"It's fine." I sighed.  It was enough just to be talking to her, so I could hardly concentrate on what I was saying.  "Not like home. But its fine."

"Oh, Sweetie…"  I could see sadness creep into her expression for the first time.  "You'll get used to it, I'm sure.  Every place is different.  "How's Laser?"

"Cool.  He seems really happy.  I saw Ray, too."

Dot grinned.  "How is he?  Is Mouse there?"

"Not yet – she'll be back in a couple of cycles."  I decided not to tell Dot about the Supercomputer – there really wasn't any reason to worry her about it.  "And Ray's alphanumeric – he's a great guy.  He said we were best mates and he'd help me whenever I needed him to."

"That's wonderful!"

"Yeah, he's great."  I stared at her for a nano, then just blurted out what I'd been thinking the whole time.  "Dot, I miss you."

"Enzo, I…  I miss you too."  She smiled, but I could tell it was an effort.  Maybe she was thinking _If he misses me on the first night, what's he gonna be like in a few minutes… _But she didn't say that.  "I know this isn't easy for you, Angel.  It's not easy for me either.  But I promise you it'll get better – you'll get used to it.  You'll make friends, forget all about Mainframe most of the time."

"No I won't.  Never."  I tried to smile back at her.  "I'm worried about the other kids, Dot.  I don't know how to talk to them…"

"I know.  But you will – once the novelty wears off you'll see they're just sprites, like you.  You'll make lots of friends, I promise.  You're a sweet boy – they'll like you just fine."

"Maybe." I sighed.

"I can't tell you not to worry, Enzo.  I know you will anyway.  But I know you – and that's why _I'm_ not worried.  If I weren't sure you'd be happy I'd have told you to stay home.  But I _am_ sure – as sure as I've ever been of anything."

"Really?  You promise?"

"Cross my heart.  You'll have a great time, I know it.  And we'll see each other plenty.  I know it'll be hard to be apart, but it won't be all the time and it won't be forever.  Try to think about that, OK?"

"OK."  User, it was good to see her face – but it was incredibly painful, too.  Not having Dot with me was like a great big hole ripped out of my gut.  Dot has been my whole life since I was 0.4.  I knew she couldn't call me every cycle, either – it was a security pain in the bitmap, and Laser wouldn't be thrilled to know she was doing it.  "I'll try, promise."

"Good boy.  You want to say Hi to Mac?"

"Sure."  She disappeared for a few nanos, then popped back up holding Mac under the arms.  He looked kinda grumpy.  "Hey, Sprout!"

"He's tired – I'm about to put him down for the night.  Wave to your uncle, Sweetie!"  She held his arm up and waved it at me, and I giggled.  Mac didn't – he looked at her like she was a three-headed null.  "He's tired.  I'm gonna set him down in his crib – don't go away."

"Night, Mac."  I waved back at him.  They disappeared off the vidscreen, and then Dot appeared again a nano later.  "Hey."

"Hey, you." She grinned.  "Miss me?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah."  She sighed.  "Sweetie, I miss you too. Just because you aren't here that doesn't mean I'm not thinking about you every nano – you know that, right?"

"Sure, Sis.  I know."  And I _did_, I guess, although it was hard not to feel sorry for myself.

"Good.  It doesn't matter if you're away for a little while – I'll always be thinking about you.  Always.  And when you come home I'll be waiting.  Remember what I told you – I'll never love anyone else the way I love you.  Never.  OK?"

"OK, Dot."  It was getting hard to talk.  "I love you."

"I love you, Honey. With all my heart.  I'll see you in six minutes.  A little less, now!  And if you really need me – we'll talk.  Say Hi to Bob and tell him I'll see him soon, OK?"

"I will." I croaked.

"OK then."  She kissed her hand and blew the kiss to me.  "Have fun, Enzo.  I'll talk to you soon."

"Bye.  Love you."  We smiled at each other, and she terminated the connection.  I closed up the organizer – there was no way I could pay attention to the readme now – and wiped my eyes.  I sat down on the bed to wait for Bob.

  
  


It was hard to know exactly what I was feeling that night – so much had happened, so much was _going_ to happen – there were emotions churning all through my processor and I couldn't really get a grasp of them.  The closest I'd felt was when Mac was born – sitting there in the hospital, watching Dot and her new baby… I was filled with emotions I didn't understand then, too, and they were pulling me every which way.  I was facing a big unknown.  But in some ways this was even worse.

All I can say is, thank the User Bob was there with me that night.  He knew what I was feeling – well, maybe not _what_ exactly, but he knew I was scared and unsure and all that stuff.  Bob isn't real big on emotional stuff most of the time – he likes to kid around and get rid of tension that way.  But he feels stuff just as much as anybody, and he knew I needed him just like he'd known earlier, after we ran into the boy and girl outside Laser's office.  And he was there for me.

After Bob got back to my room he helped me unpack my stuff a little and he showed me how to customize my organizer with my height and weight and all that stuff, for wardrobe upgrades.  I downloaded a bunch of stuff – an extra dress uniform, some sweats, and some shorts and t-shirts.  I rebooted into blue shorts and a t-shirt and Bob and I sat next to each other on the bed, leaning on the wall and not saying much of anything for a while.

"So – big cycle, huh?  I'm beat."

"Me too."

"You wanna go to sleep?  Or stay up a while?"

"Stay up."  I smiled at him.  "I've got too much in my processor to sleep for a while.  Is that OK?"

"Sure it's OK!" Bob laughed.  "I don't blame you.  It's all an awful lot to think about, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"No classes tomorrow anyway – we don't need to be up early.  We'll have some breakfast and check out the city for a while.  You want to watch a vidscreen or something?"

"Nah – that's OK."

"Cool."  Neither of us said anything for a few nanos.

"Thanks for staying with me, Bob."

"No problem."  He ruffled my hair.  "How about a guitar lesson, since we have a few micros?"

I wasn't sure I was up for a guitar lesson right then – I didn't think I could pay attention, anyway.  "Could you maybe just play for a while?  That'd be alphanumeric."

"Sure."  Bob grinned and got up to get my guitar out of the case.  He sat next to me again.  "Electric or acoustic?"

"Acoustic."  It felt like it would fit my mood better.

"Acoustic it is."  Bob tuned the guitar for a few nanos, humming and mumbling to himself as he did it.  "Any requests?"

"Something slow."

"Slow.  Got it."  He started to pick out a tune, something in G-minor, which I'd learned was my favorite key even though I still didn't know very much about music.  G-minor is a key that cuts straight through me, for some reason.

Bob is a pixelacious guitar player.  He can play really fast when he wants to – when he rocks, he rocks hard.  But he's really great on slow stuff, too – and when he played, it just carried me right along with it.  I could feel the music inside me and even though it had a sad sound to it, it made me feel better.  For a few nanos all my processor could think about was the music.

"That was really nice.  What was it?"  
  


"'American Tune.'" He smiled.  "One of my favorites."  He picked on the guitar for a while, not really a song, just doodling.  He looked down at me.  "How about singing one?"

"Sing?  I don't think so…"

"C'mon – it'll be good.  How about it?"

I guess I should say that I'm a pretty good singer – it must run in my family 'cause Dot is an alphanumeric one, and I remember my Mom's voice and it was really beautiful.  Sometimes it was all I remembered about her, but it was clear as if she was right there.  Anyway, I can sing good too – but I don't like it very much.

For one thing, my voice is still really high  - straight soprano - and that kinda bugs me.  Singing also doesn't really seem like a Guardian thing to me – I dunno, it just doesn't.  So I always tried not to sing if I could avoid it, but Dot knows I have a nice voice and she was always trying to get me to.  I sang with her sometimes, when it was just us – and that was OK, I guess.  But she talked me into singing with her in front of Bob, once, and now _he_ knows too.

But I still don't like to.  I get very embarrassed, especially in front of Bob.  But he asked me again.  "I'll bet it makes you feel better, Kiddo.  Music is like that – it transports you.  And making it is even better than listening to it.  How about it?"

I really didn't want to but I also didn't want to say no to Bob, 'cause he was being so nice to me.  He'd taught me a few songs since I got the guitar and I thought about it and decided that if Bob and me were really close like I hoped we were, maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing.  So I said I'd do it.

"You call the tune, Maestro."  
  


I thought for a nano.  There was a song that was running through my head for some reason, one I knew pretty well.  "How about 'Ramblin' Boy'?"

He arched his eyebrows and looked a little surprised.  "I don't remember teaching you that one!  That's a good song, Enzo.  Sure, 'Ramblin' Boy' it is.  Ready?"

"Sure."  He started to pick out the intro on the guitar and I closed my eyes, just tried to lose myself in the sound.  I don't really understand the lyrics to 'Ramblin' Boy', but there's something about them I like…

  
_He was a man and a friend always  
He stuck with me in the hard old days.  
He never cared if I had no dough  
We rambled 'round in the rain and snow._

_  
And here's to you my ramblin' boy  
May all your ramblin' bring you joy  
And here's to you my ramblin' boy  
May all your ramblin' bring you joy._

It's a traveling song, I know that much. And it's a song about being really good friends.  I liked that.  After that verse it starts to get really sad…

_In Mainframe town we chanced to stray  
We thought we'd try to work one day  
The boss said he had room for one  
Says my old pal, "We'd rather bum!"_

_And here's to you my ramblin' boy  
May all your ramblin' bring you joy  
And here's to you my ramblin' boy  
May all your ramblin' bring you joy._

_Late one night in a jungle camp  
The weather it was cold and damp  
He got the chills and he got 'em bad  
I lost the only friend I had._

_My ramblin' pal, he's rambled on,  
My ramblin' pal, is dead and gone  
If when we delete, we go somewhere  
I'll bet you a credit, he's ramblin' there._

_And here's to you my ramblin' boy  
May all your ramblin' bring you joy  
And here's to you my ramblin' boy  
May all your ramblin' bring you joy._

I guess that song should have depressed me – it's sad, the guy's friend deletes and everything.  Like I said, I don't really understand all of it – but it didn't depress me for some reason.  It just made me think of home and being away and having friends and missing them, and it made me think of Matrix, too.  It weird how songs can take you away from where you are to a totally different place, for so special reason except just being what they are.   

I opened my eyes and I realized I was leaning over against Bob with my head against his shoulder.  "Nice job, Tiger."

"Thanks." I smiled.  "I don't like singing, though – it's embarrassing."

"No reason to be embarrassed with that voice of yours.  Wanna do another?"

"Naw – just play some more, OK?"

"You got it."  He played for a while and I leaned against him, and I closed my eyes again and just listened and didn't say anything.  Before I knew it was thirty-two hundred and now I was so tired that even all my nervousness and weird thoughts couldn't keep me awake much longer.  

I was dimly aware that Bob had stopped playing, and he stood up and lowered me into bed.  He put my guitar away and knelt next to the bed.  "Time to sleep I think, Tiger.  You look almost as tired as I am."

"K." I yawned.  He stroked my hair a couple of times and walked over to the other bed.  My roommate's bed. 

"Probably ought to make you brush your teeth but what the heck – Dot's not here, let's go nuts."

"Bet he'll be excited." I smiled.

He stretched out on the bed and slipped under the blanket.  "Mmm?  Who's that?"

"My roommate.  He'll go offline when he finds out Guardian 452 slept in his bed."

Bob laughed.  "Another lasting legacy of my visit, huh?  Another impressionable young sprite whose life will be forever changed."

"Yeah."  I stretched out and lay back with my hands behind my head, staring at the ceiling.  It was a cycle of firsts, and I guess this was the last one – my first night sleeping away from home.

"Boy, I'd forgotten what these dorms are like.  Sure brings back a lot of old RAM…"

"I bet.  Thanks again for staying with me, Bob-"

"Gotta sleep somewhere."  He rolled over on his elbow and stared at me.  "I'm really proud of you, Enzo.  I just want you to know."

"Thanks." I whispered.

"I don't think there's a father anywhere prouder than me.  If Mac grows up to be anything like you, I'll be the happiest sprite in the net."

"Really?"

"Yeah.  You're my kid, Tiger – no matter what happens.  And you always will be.  Don't ever let anyone tell you different.  Where we're born doesn't matter – the only thing that matters is how we feel.  Right?"

"Right."  I rasped.

"And you know how I feel."

"Me too."  And as much as Bob had meant to me since we'd met, he'd never meant as much as he did that nano.  "Thanks, Bob.  Me too."

"OK, then."  He grinned at me from across the room.  "Get some sleep.  Another big cycle tomorrow."

"OK.  Night, Bob."

"Night, Kiddo.  Sweet dreams."  He deleted the light and I closed my eyes, just hanging onto everything Bob had said and done all cycle.  And almost before I had time to think again about being in a strange bed, I was asleep.


	4. Boys Will Be Boys

GUARDIAN BLUES

CHAPTER III

"White Room" lyrics by Jack Bruce and Pete Brown

"Old Ben Lucas" lyrics by Richard "Kinky" Friedman

One more first.

Waking up in my bed in the dorms – that was definitely a little weird.  Wake up in the same bed every morning for nine hours and tell me it _wouldn't_ be weird to wake up in a different one.  It was.

I had some very scraggy dreams that night, mostly concerned with being lost and not being able to find my way home.  I'm no Phong but it's pretty easy to figure out what was going on in my processor.  So I don't think I slept all that well, and in addition to that I was incredibly wrung out to begin with and me and Bob had stayed up late the night before.  

So… I didn't wake up on my own the next morning.  Bob woke me up, and his voice was the first thing I remember.  Dot usually woke me up when I didn't get up myself.  Basically, every cycle.  Once in a while Bob did, though, since he'd moved in with us.  So at first it didn't seem all that unusual.

After I finally opened my eyes, though, it all came back to me.  I saw light streaming in through the window behind Bob and I knew I wasn't home.  Not the home I'd known, anyways.  The whole last cycle launched itself in my processor in a fraction of a nano.  "Hey."

"Hey, Tiger.  About time!  C'mon, roll out and face the cycle already."

I yawned and stretched, and my muscles hurt from sleeping too long.  "What time is it?"

"Almost nine-hundred, sleepyhead."

"Crash…"

"Yup – won't be getting' away with that once Academy starts.  Up and at 'em."

"In a nano."  I yawned again and when I opened my eyes Bob was still kneeling by the bed, grinning at me.  "What?"

"Nothing."  He stroked my hair again, like he had before I fell asleep.  "Just filing and saving, that's all.  C'mon."  He grabbed my hands and yanked me upright.

"Stop!" I giggled.  

"I'm hungry – move your ascii.  And don't tell Dot I said that."

"OK, I'm going." I pulled the blanket back and sat over the edge of the bed. 

"I already showered – it's just down the hall, two doors.  You wanna grab one?"

I looked down.  "Uh…  No.  I'll just brush my teeth and change and everything."

He frowned.  "Whatever you say, Kiddo."

"Thanks."  I grabbed my bathroom stuff and headed down the hall before he could say anything.  It was a subject I didn't feel like talking about with Bob.  My stomach was already growling, though, and after a couple of nanos all I could think about was breakfast.  
  


After the cycle before being so intense – going from one extreme feeling to another, one scary and exciting new experience to another – I was pretty burned out.   My senses felt a little dull, and my emotions started out sort of behind a wall where I could see them, but not totally feel them.

I remember feeling like I just wanted to hang on to Bob as long as I could, because I knew in a cycle or so he'd be gone and then I'd be all alone.  More or less.  We spent some time in Gallifrey Town, starting with breakfast in a place called "Borusa's" which looked about as close to Dot's Diner as anywhere in the system.  I was hungry and the food was good, probably better than what I'd be getting in the mess hall the way I figured it.  So I ate a lot and even made Bob laugh because I ate so much.

We walked around the town for a while, just checking out the lay of the system.  Cadets were allowed to go into town on our free cycles as long we were back by curfew, so I really did want to get a little idea of what it was like.  It was OK – there were quite a few cafes and restaurants, some shops and a department store.  I didn't see anything that looked remotely like Baudway, or Floating Point, or Kits…  Dunno why I would have, but Mainframe was the only place I knew and on some level I kept thinking other places must be a lot like it.

Bob and I ducked into a couple of places just to look around, and the owners were very friendly.  I wore my uniform and so did Bob so everyone knew we were part of the Collective, and maybe that's part of the reason.  I got the feeling having the Academy in the system meant a lot of credits for the people there, which was fine.  I knew from Mainframe that businesses aren't always happy when a kid walks in so I doubted all that friendliness was from the goodness of their hearts.

I didn't see a whole lot of cadets walking around – there were only a few kids, and none of them in uniform although I guessed most of them were cadets.  Maybe I'd get to the stage where I didn't want to wear my uniform unless I had to - but I sure hoped not.  

Bob tried to encourage me to talk to the kids we saw, but I begged off.  I could tell it worried him a little bit but he wasn't gonna push me – I think he was trying to let me deal with my problems on my own.  But I was definitely wasn't dealing with this one – I was avoiding for as long as I could.

My favorite place in town was a kind of arcade where they had something called "Pixels" which looked like the closest thing Gallifrey had to our jetball.  They had a sort of obstacle course and you had to go out and try and shoot everybody you were playing against with a pixel gun – it actually shot pixels – and if you zapped them they were out of the game.  You could either get a whole team together or just go in on your own and play free-for-all.  It was-  Well…  It was pixelacious, it really was!  Bob paid for us and we played for about ten micros and it was a total blast.  It felt great to just forget everything and just concentrate on something simple.

After we played we headed back to the Academy and I showed Bob the path I'd taken the night before.  It was a beautiful day – nice and warm, just like Mainframe – and the campus buildings were shining gold in the bright light.  It was really something to see.

Bob pretty much remembered the schematics and he pointed the various buildings out to me as we walked by them.  There was a little more to the campus than I'd realized – there was the main office building at the hub of the circle, the staff apartment building, a couple of different classroom buildings, the playing fields…  Bob identified them one by one as we passed them, until we came to the girls' dorm.

"I know – I walked by here last night."

"You did?  Why?"  I didn't look at him but I could hear him grinning, and I immediately regretted mentioning it.

"I… I dunno.  Just curious, I guess."

"Curious?  I'll just bet you were." He chuckled.  "Don't forget what Dad said, Enzo – he wasn't kidding."

"I _know." _I sighed.  "I wasn't doin' anything!"

He put his arm around my shoulder and slowed down.  "Sure brings back a lot of memories.  Crash, does it ever!  Pretty faces.  Sneaking around in the middle of the night.  Panty-raids…"

"'Panty-raids'?" I frowned.  "What's a 'panty-raid'?"

He stiffened, like he didn't realize he'd been talking and not just thinking.  "Never mind, you.  Nothing you want to know about."  He started walking faster.

"But, Bob-"

"Never mind, Kiddo!"

"Jeez…"  It didn't take a genius to figure out why Bob didn't want to talk about it – I pretty much knew what area he'd blundered into.  I had a burning curiosity but I let it go.  Bob and I had a talk before we left Mainframe and I was glad we had, but there was stuff I was gonna have to figure out on my own.

When we got back to the boys' dorm I'd forgotten all about panty-raids and Bob and I were talking about the class he was gonna come teach next semester.  I couldn't wait – the idea of being at the Academy _and_ having Bob and Dot with me was almost too good to be true.  I was thinking about that and not paying much attention to what was happening, so when I decrypted the lock and open my door what I saw inside was a total shock.

He was on his bed lying on his stomach looking at his organizer – going through the readme, probably, which made me feel guilty because I hadn't yet – and he was dressed in a cadet uniform that looked just like mine.  He looked up and when he saw us, he bounced to his feet and smiled a little nervously.  

"Hey!" Bob said, and I'm glad I did because I'd done my usual standing and staring and not saying anything routine, which would have left things pretty awkward after a few nanos.  "Who might you be?"

"Hi – I'm Linux."  The kid stuck out his hand and Bob shook it with a goofy grin on his face, which seemed to relax the kid.

"Hey, Linux – glad to access your acquaintance.  I'm Bob.  This is Enzo – your new roommate."

"Hey." 

Bob nudged me a little and that sorta woke me up.  I shook the kid's hand and tried to smile as best I could.  "Hey.  I…  I'm Enzo.  Good to meet you."

"Hi, Enzo!"  He seemed friendly.  My roommate!  It was a weird concept.  Linux was only a little bit taller than me, but he looked a lot stronger.  He had blond hair cut short, not as short as Ray's but shorter than mine, and his skin was a pale silver.  How old did Laser say he was – 1.4?  And I was talking to him – another actual kid!  Helix didn't really count – he was practically an adult.  This was a real kid – he barely looked older than me!

I say I was talking to him, but at first he seemed a lot more interested in Bob and I guess I can't blame him.  After he noticed Bob's uniform he got a little nervous again.  "Are…  Are you a Guardian?"

"Yup." Bob grinned.  "And you guys will be too, soon enough."

"Wow!  Even the teachers aren't Guardians anymore – that's what my Dad said.  Are you gonna be teaching here now?"

"Next semester – not this one.  I know some of your teachers though – and they're amazing sprites.  You'll learn a lot."

"High density!  Do you have a keytool, Guardian?"

"It's Bob to my friends, Linux." He chuckled.  Bob was sorta monopolizing things, but that was OK – it gave me time to get my composure and like I said I didn't blame the kid for being impressed.  "I'll let Enzo explain that, if he wants to.  I have some stuff to do – I'm sure I'll see you boys before dinner."

I looked at him, pleading with my eyes.  "Bob!  D-don't go!  We could-"

"Sorry, Enzo – stuff to do." Bob winked at me.  

"But-"

"See you guys in a byte, OK?  Have fun!  Pleasure to meet you, Linux."  Crash!  I knew deleted well what he was doing, and I was pretty ticked off.

"Uh – you too, Guar- I mean, Bob!  It was an honor."

"Same here."  He tousled my hair once real quickly and just like that, he was gone and I was alone with Linux.  I was _not_ ready for that, I knew I wasn't…

Linux sat back down on the bed and grinned at me.  "Wow - your Dad seems really high density, Enzo.  That's the first real Guardian I ever talked to!"

"Uh…"  I couldn't believe how scared and nervous I was – scared that this guy would think I was a dork and hate me and I'd have to live with him for the rest of the hour.  But I didn't know how _not_ to be a dork – I just didn't know what I was supposed to say to another kid my age.  I tried to just concentrate on what he was saying so at least he wouldn't think I was basic.  "Bob isn't my Dad – he just kind of helps take care of me, I guess.  He and my sister."

Linux looked puzzled.  "What about your parents?"

"Um – they're deleted.  Dot's been watching me since I was 0.4."

Now Linux looked sad – and I realized, in a flash of insight, that having deleted parents might actually buy me some slack with the other kids.  I don't like people feeling sorry for me, but at that nano I was drowning in data and looking for anything I could grab onto.  I hated myself for even thinking it, but I did.  "Crash – sorry, Man.  That's rough."

"Thanks." I sighed, and looked sad.  At least it'd given us something to talk about.  I grabbed a chair and turned it around backwards like Ray had before I sat down.  "You're right about Bob though – he's totally alphanumeric."

"Alphanumeric?  What's that?"

I blushed.  Strike one.  "Uh – it's nothing.  It just means, like, 'cool', I guess."

Linux smiled thoughtfully. "Alphanumeric – I like that.  High density!"

"Yeah.  So – you're, um…  From Helios?"

"Yeah.  You?"

"Mainframe."

"Huh – never heard of it."

"Me neither.  Helios I mean!  What's it like?"

"It's OK."  He didn't look all that thrilled.  "Small system with ports to the net.  My Dad is the Command.Com there."

"Dude – no way!  Dot's the Command.Com in Mainframe!"

"Double-sided.  Dot?  She's your sister?"

"Yeah!"  I was so giddy that we were actually talking and had something almost in common that I blurted out something personal.  "She's really more like my Mom than my sister."  I cringed as soon as I said it.  It sounded babyish to me. 

"Yeah?  That's cool – she takes care of you and everything.  Is she way older?"

Wow!  He actually thought it was OK, not weird or anything. "Yeah – she's about the same age as Bob."

"Cool."  He leaned back and folded his arms behind his head, and I could feel myself start to relax just the tiniest byte.  "So what's Mainframe like?"

"Kinda like Helios, it sounds like.  It's a small system with ports to the net, too.  But I love it – it's the only place I've ever lived."

"Really?  We've lived a couple of other places – even in the Supercomputer for a while, before Daemon."

"Dude – you lived in the Supercomputer?"

"Yeah!" he grinned.  "It was high density – totally…  alphanumeric!    My older brother was going to the Academy while I lived there, and he used to get to visit us sometimes."

"Pixelacious!  Is that why you wanna be a Guardian?"

"Yeah.  He was a great brother, and being a Guardian seemed like the coolest thing ever.  But then Daemon came while he was a third-hour and now he's…  Infected.  You know.  And I haven't seen him for hours."

"Dude – that crashes…"

"Yeah." He sighed.  "I wanna fight Daemon – I wanna delete her myself!  This seemed liked the best way to do it.  My Mom and my brother Dex didn't want me to come – but I _had_ to.  You know what I mean?"

"Yeah." I nodded.  "Definitely.  Is Dex a Guardian too?"

"Nope.  He works in the research archives with my Mom."

"Got any other brothers or anything?"

"Nope – just my Mom and Dad.  How 'bout you?"

"Just my big sister Dot."  How could I explain Matrix – and not make the whole thing sound totally weird?  "And she and Bob have a kid now – Mac!  He's not even an hour old yet.  I'm his uncle but that's just too weird – I think I'm more like his big brother, you know?"

"Yeah, I guess.  So – how'd you end up here?"

I decided not to tell him about Laser – not yet, anyway.  "Bob.  Ever since Bob came to Mainframe this is all I ever wanted to do.  Bob's totally the best.  I don't think Dot really wanted me to come either – but she let me."

"Moms are like that." Linux grinned.

Yeah – I guess!"  I grinned back.  "Dot is – high density.  Definitely."

"Well, that's cool."  He looked down, like he was a little embarrassed.  "Actually, I was kinda glad to see you."

Now I was puzzled.  "Why?"

He looked up.  "I didn't exactly know what to expect.  I wasn't really sure there were gonna be any kids smaller than me here."

That hurt – a lot – even though I don't really think he meant it to.  I looked away, towards my bed.  "Oh."

"No offense!  I was just… Worried, I guess.  I knew most of the cadets were older than us.  How old are you, anyway?"

I almost didn't answer him, but I knew that would make me look totally basic.  "I'm 1.3."

"Really?  Wow!  I mean – that's cool, that you made it in so young and everything."

"Yeah."  I think he was sorry he'd said what he did now, but I was just thinking how there wasn't gonna be anyone _I_ could look at and feel relieved that I was bigger and older.  I was gonna be the one everybody _else_ looked at and felt relieved.  It was a very lonely feeling.

"I'm only 1.4 – so we're practically the same age."

"Yeah.  Maybe."

"Don't worry – we'll do all right."  I guess he knew he'd hit a sore spot and upset me and he was really trying to make me feel better, which made me sort of like him.  Which _did_ make me feel better – a little, anyway.  "I'm not gonna be scared of anybody just 'cause they're bigger than I am – I was the littlest in my family anyway so I always had to fight for everything.  You were too, right?"

"Sure."  I looked back at him and smiled a little.  I debated telling him right then and there that I wasn't just the only little kid in my family – I was the only one in the _system_.  But at the last nano I chickened out.  "I guess it really won't be any different that that, huh?"

"Naw –we'll kick ascii."

"Yeah – ascii!" I giggled.  It was nice knowing I could swear without worrying about Dot getting on my case.  "Besides – Bob has been training me since I was 1.0, so I think I can hold my own."

"Dude – really?  He's been training you?"

"Yeah."  Now I felt on my own turf again.  "Mainframe's had a rough time – we almost got taken out by a virus.  Megabyte - I hate him.  Anyway – Bob invoked the emergency procedure and downloaded the protocols onto my icon when I was 1.0 and ever since then he's been taking me into games and training me and stuff."

"High density!" Linux gasped.  I could tell he was impressed, but he also looked like he wasn't absolutely convinced.  But my icon was Guardian – that much was indisputable.  Linux had a sprite icon – he was gonna get the cadet protocols at indoctrination the next day.

"Yeah.  And you wanna know a secret?"

"What?"

I leaned forward.  "I've seen Daemon.  Well – I've seen her infection, anyway."

"No way!"

"Uh huh.  We've had infected games in Mainframe – I've been in two of them myself.  Daemon took over the User somehow and corrupted the game codes.  It was pretty scary."

"Crash!  That's amazing!"

"Yeah." I nodded.  

"Jeez – you could be a second-hour, practically.  Will you help me out if I start to fall behind and stuff?"

"Sure!" I started to feel a little guilty about bragging, especially since Linux had really tried to make me feel better before.  "But it's still gonna be pretty tough dealing with all those older cadets.  I hear most of the first-hours are about 1.6."

"Yeah.  Gonna be tough."

"We'll do OK, I bet." I grinned.

"Sure.  Um…  So – when did you get here, anyways?"

"Last cycle."

"Cool.  Have you, uh, seen any cute girls yet?"

"Girls?"  I could feel myself blushing again.  "Maybe.  One or two."

"Yeah?"  His eyes got wide.  "I'll bet there are gonna be a lot of them.  Cute girls."

"I dunno.  Maybe…"

"Do you have a girlfriend in Mainframe?"

"Uh…  No.  Definitely not.  Do…  Do you?  In Helios I mean?"

"No." he sighed.  "Not yet."

"Well, that's OK.  So if you get a girlfriend here, you don't have to feel guilty or anything!"  I was proud of myself for thinking of that – it almost sounded cool.

Linux laughed and blushed a little.  Good to know I wasn't the only one who did that.  "Yeah – maybe!"

"Cool!  Uh – can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Do you know what a 'panty-raid' is?"

He frowned.  "Nuh-uh.  It sounds kinda dirty, though."

"Yeah – that's what I thought."

"But cool, maybe.  What is it?"

I smiled.  "I don't know.  I was hoping you could tell _me_.  Maybe we'll find out…"

"Yeah."  He looked across at my stuff.  "I saw your guitar – do you play?"

"Um…  Not really.  I can play a few chords and stuff but that's it.  Bob can play really alphanumeric, though – he's teaching me."

"Crash!  Is there anything he _can't_ do?"

I laughed.  "Stick to a schedule.  Cook.  Clean out the sink after he shaves.  That's what Dot says anyway.  Other than that, pretty much anything."

"Alphanumeric." Linux grinned.  Maybe it hadn't been strike one after all.

"So – you like, just got here?  Have you seen the campus and everything?"

"Not really.  I just checked in at the office and they brought me over here."

"There's this awesome path – it goes all around the campus, up on the hill, and loops around back to the main building.  It goes by everything – even the girls' dorm.  You want me to show you around?"

"Yeah!  That'd be great.  Thanks, Enzo."

"No worries." I grinned.  I was glad Bob brought me two cycles early – it almost made me seem like a veteran.  

It was a pretty amazing feeling walking around the campus with Linux – another kid, almost my age, right there next to me.  Almost surreal.  I'd sat and talked to him – and I'd actually liked it!  He seemed to like me OK – he didn't seem to think I was a dork, or weird, or a baby.  A freak.  In fact talking to him had almost been _better_ than talking to the others in a way, because he'd gotten what I was talking about right away when sometimes somebody older just wouldn't.  It was alphanumeric!  Were we _friends_?  I suppose it was possible.

It felt like one hurdle cleared - that was definite.  I'd actually talked to another kid and survived, and my roommate hadn't turned out to be a null.  Of course I hadn't really had to deal with any big kids yet – Linux was basically little, like me.  And he was a _guy_ – which meant that I still had the big hurdle out there waiting for me, the one that was hovering over my processor like a virus.  I still had to talk to a girl.  An actual _girl_, not like AndrAIa but a real girl and User, was I terrified about that.

But at that nano I managed not to worry about it too much – hanging out with Linux was actually fun.  I showed him around the campus, which was much busier than it had been the cycle before.  Most of the cadets had arrived or were arriving, and they were walking around the campus, getting familiar with it or getting re-acquainted.  Some of them were in dress blues, some of them in casual stuff.  Almost all of them were bigger than Linux, and _all_ of them were bigger than me.

Linux and I didn't stop and talk to anybody – I guess we were both feeling a little shy.  Naturally a lot of the cadets we saw were girls, and I was amazed at the variety of girls there were.  All different shapes and sizes.  Fascinating shapes.  Like I said we didn't talk to them – I just hoped it wasn't too obvious I was staring and that my face didn't give away what I was thinking.  Sometimes I'd catch myself wandering off, though – just looking at one of them and being totally hypnotized by how bizarre and wonderful it was to be looking at them.

We were almost back at the dorm when a vidwindow opened up and Bob was there, grinning at us.  "Hey, you two – having fun?"

"Yeah." I smiled.  "What're you up to?"

"Boring stuff.  I'm helping Laser out with logistics and he's briefing me on what to expect for my class.  What about you guys?"

"Just walking around and talking."

"Yeah?"  Bob grinned and me and saw me smiling back and he looked totally happy at that nano.  "Sounds like fun.  Listen – you think you can scrounge your own dinner tonight?  This stuff with Laser could drag on for a while."

"Really?  But-"

"Mess hall's open – They serve dinner at twenty-four hundred.  Why don't you and Linux eat there and I'll meet you back at your room after?  We can go out for a sundae or something."

"Yeah – sure."  I was back to missing Bob again, just from talking to him for a nano I was thinking how he'd be leaving soon.  "No problem."

"Sounds like a plan.  I'll see you kids at the dorm."

"Bye, Bob."

"He's awesome."

I looked over at Linux and smiled.  "Yeah – he's amazing."

"I wish my Dad would talk to me like that."

"Like what?"

"You know – just regular.  Like we were friends or something."

"Oh."  I sensed maybe there was something deeper there, but I didn't know Linux well enough to be sure.  "Well – we _are_ friends, in a way.  But he's like my Dad, too.  It's hard to describe…"

"Do…  Do you remember your real Dad at all?"

I shrugged.  "A little.  He worked in the science archive, like your Mom.  I was so young when he died that I hardly remember him."

"How'd he delete?"

"Uh…" I wrestled with myself inside for a nano.  "I kinda don't like to talk about it.  It was pretty bad."

"Sorry!"

"No big deal."  I punched him on the shoulder to let him know I wasn't mad.  "Thanks.  Like I said, Bob is like my Dad now.  I don't see how anybody could be a better Dad than Bob's been for me.  He's the best."

"That's high density."  We were standing in front of the elevators now.  "So – you wanna access something to eat?  I'm dying!"

I checked my internal clock.  "Yeah – I guess the mess hall is open.  I'm pretty hungry too."  I usually was, and it had been a pretty big cycle what with the Pixels and meeting Linux and all the walking and stuff.

"You wanna eat here or the one in the Great Hall?"

"Great Hall?  There's a mess in the Great Hall?"

"Sure – one in each dorm, one in the Great Hall.  Didn't you access the readme file?"

I blushed again.  "I got distracted.  Where do _you_ wanna go?"  I know what _I_ was thinking – if we ate in the Great Hall there'd be girls there, and we might end up talking to one.  All of a sudden I wasn't quite as hungry.

"Here, I guess."

"Yeah – OK."  Relieved and a little disappointed.

The mess in the boys' dorm wasn't anything special to look at.  There were four long tables with benches – mostly empty at the nano we arrived – and that was about it for furniture.  There was a counter on the far end of the room, and you could see the kitchen on the other side of it.  There was a vidwindow showing what kind of food and stuff they had that cycle.  And one old lady binome behind the counter serving the stuff up.  Probably a local, I guess.

Linux and I grabbed a tray and I ordered some lasagna and garlic bread, and she handed me a salad too which I guess came with it because adults are always trying to get kids to eat stuff like that.  I grabbed an energy shake and waited for Linux and once he had his food, we turned around and started thinking about where we were gonna sit.

Like I said most of the tables were pretty empty, so it's not like we were gonna have to squeeze in anywhere.  I don't think either one of us wanted to say it but I think we were both debating whether we wanted to try and talk to anybody else or not.  I'd have been just as happy with not – it's like I'd expanded my safety bubble just a little to include Linux and that was good enough for now – but Linux pointed to a little knot of kids that didn't look too hairy and grown up and said "Let's sit there." and took off without waiting for me to answer.  I wasn't about to eat by myself, so I gulped a couple of times and followed him.

Before we sat down a couple more kids joined them, on the other side.  We sat down next to the group – five boys.  I call them 'boys' but I'm a boy, and up close a couple of them – the new ones - didn't look like the same species of sprite as me.  They looked very, very adult – one of them even had a little stubble on his face.  The other three were more like me and Linux – kids.  They looked like they might be 1.5, 1.6 - I didn't really feel too confident guessing.  The three younger kids were in uniform and the older two were in sweats.

I nodded in the direction of the others, and a couple of them nodded back and smiled.  I was debating whether I should say something or not, so I'd started in on my salad to stall for time, when Linux spoke up.  "So – you guys second-hours?"

"I am." Stubble-face said.  He pointed at the other kid in sweats.  "Zip too.  These guys are all first-hours – you can tell 'cause they're wearing the uniform on a free cycle!"  The two older guys laughed and I giggled nervously.

"I'm Linux – this is Enzo, my roommate."  I had to hand it to him – he was trying to fit in a lot quicker than I had.

"Hey." I said, and raised my hand in a little wave.  One of the younger kids said 'Hey' back and the others nodded a greeting.

"I'm Quantum – this is Zip." Stubble-face said without smiling.  "You're the kid that came in with Guardian 452, aren't you?"

"Um…  Yeah."  I wasn't sure where this might be going, but it scared me a little to be the center of the big kids' attention.  "How'd ya know?"

"Word gets around." Quantum smiled.

"Who's Guardian 452?" one of the younger boys asked.

"Kids!" Zip cackled. 

"He's kind of a legend around here." Quantum continued.  "Is he your Dad?"

"Sot of.  My Dad's deleted, but Bob helps look after me back home."

"Sorry, Kid.  But you're pretty lucky.  How old are you?"

That seemed to be a popular question around here when people got a look at me.  "I'm 1.3.  But Bob downloaded the protocols when I was 1.0."  I knew as soon as I said it that it was risky – I didn't want to come off like I was bragging to a bunch of big kids who'd take it as a challenge.

"Youngest kid I've seen here." Zip said thoughtfully.  "But I guess when you're in with a legend that doesn't matter."

"I-"  I started to jab back at him, but I knew it'd be a mistake.  It was too early to make enemies in a place when you didn't have any friends yet.  "Yeah – maybe.  I know I wouldn't be here if Bob hadn't been helping me.  But I wouldn't even want to be a Guardian if it wasn't for Bob, so that's OK."

Quantum seemed to approve of that answer – he nodded thoughtfully.  The three younger kids were sitting quietly, not wanting to step on the seconds' conversation.  "What about you, Kid?  What's your story?" Zip asked Linux.  I took the opportunity to start wolfing down my lasagna.

"I'm from Helios.  My brother was a third-hour when the Collective was infected, and ever since I found out the Academy was open again I've wanted to come."

"That's cool." Quantum nodded.  He shot his arm out and wrapped one of the younger guys in a headlock, and I almost dropped my fork.  The kid protested but Quantum just grinned.  "This pathetic runt is my brother Rom – the others don't matter.  They're just sprouts."

I finally _did_ drop my fork.  "They're _what_?"

"Sprouts.  First-hours.  Mama's boys.  What's eating you?"

"Nothing, I…  It's just that my…  My friend, Matrix – he calls me 'Sprout'.  I don't think he has any idea they use it here, though.  That's pretty random."

"Yeah, that's weird.  He's never been to the Academy?"

"No.  He-"  Again, how to explain Matrix - and me, for that matter -  without it seeming really weird?  I let it go.  "No, he never has.  Just a coincidence."

"Yeah – I guess."  He finally let his brother go, and the kid punched him on the shoulder but Quantum just laughed.  "You guys stay out of trouble and you'll do all right."

"Thanks." Linux smiled.  "We'll try."

I picked up my fork and started in on the food again.  It really wasn't bad – it wasn't Dot's, but it was filling and it tasted OK.  Especially the garlic bread – I _love_ garlic bread.  But just when I was really getting into a zone I dropped my fork again because all of a sudden I couldn't see.  Someone's hands were covering my eyes.  I started to bounce out of my chair but their elbows were on my shoulders and I couldn't stand up.  "Guess who this is."

"Mouse?" I squeaked.

"Looks like they'll let just about anyone in here these cycles!"  She let me go and straddled the bench next to me, grinning.  "A little baud told me I might find you here.  How ya doin', Pumpkin?"

"Good!"  I hadn't seen Mouse for ages – not since she'd been to Mainframe when I was 1.1.  I beamed – it was good to see another friendly face.  She looked exactly the same.  "How was – Uh… How was your trip?"

She winked.  "Good Sugar, real good.  User, you've grown!  I hardly recognize you."  She pinched my cheek, which I could have processed without.

"Yeah, I guess."

"See you've hooked up with Quantum already – he's trouble." She chuckled and shook her head in his direction.  "How you doin', Honey?"

"Fine, Mouse."  I guess Mouse didn't care for a 'Miss' or anything like that.  

"Stayin' out of trouble?"

"I haven't even been back a cycle yet!"

"Good point."  She turned to Zip and her face hardened a little.  "Mister Zip.  Back to torture us for another semester, huh?"

"Thank you, Mouse.  I'm looking forward to your class very much."

"I'm sure ya are, Sugar." Mouse sighed.  "The rest of you I don't recognize.  Is one of you Enzo's roommate?"

Linux raised his hand.  "Me, Ma'am."

Mouse narrowed her eyes.  "Honey, I know yer a Sprout and all…  But if y'all want to live to see another cycle you won't call me that again.  Think you can manage that?"

I just barely avoided laughing at the terrified expression on Linux' face.  "Uh…  S-s-sorry Ma – Mouse!  I'm very sorry."

Mouse threw her head back and laughed.  "It's a joke, Son!  But just call me Mouse from now on, OK?"

Linux smiled tentatively.  "Sure.  Mouse, right.  Sorry!"

She shook her head and winked at me.  "All you new guys, welcome.  Don't let me catch you getting' into trouble, all right?  And watch out for these two."

"Mouse!" Quantum gasped.

"Save it, Hotshot.  And use a blade next time, hear me?" She turned to me.  "User, it's good to see ya again, Pumpkin.  You relax and try to have fun, OK?  There's a lot of fun to be had around here."

"I will Mouse." I grinned.  "Thanks.  It's good to see you, too."

She patted my cheek.  "This is a good kid, y'all.  A good kid."  She bounced up from the table.  "See you boys in the trenches.  Stay away from the jello – it'll get ya every time."  She grinned back at us once and breezed out of the hall.

"Wow!" Linux whispered.  He was looking at me with a sort of awed expression.

"You know Mouse, huh?" Quantum asked.  

"You've just got all sorts of friends around here, don't you?" Zip said softly.

I looked at Zip nervously and back at Quantum.  "Er…  Yeah.  She helped us out when Mainframe was under viral attack."

"What does she teach?" One of the younger kids said in an awed whisper.

"Hacking.  Both kinds."  Quantum made a chopping motion in the air.

"Wouldn't want to meet her in a dark drive bay…"

Quantum was staring at me thoughtfully.  I shrugged and smiled, and tried to turn my attention back to my food.  The rest of the meal passed without much conversation, but I was feeling distinctly uneasy.  

Linux didn't talk to me too much as we took the elevator upstairs and settled back into our room.  I felt bad – I thought we were starting to be friends but it seemed like he felt weird about everybody knowing who Bob was and about me knowing Mouse.  The idea of having a friend was so great that I couldn't deal with the possibility of losing him already.  I just wanted so much for him to _like_ me.

We were sitting on our beds, just relaxing.  I finally accessed the readme file and figured out where my bitmap was supposed to be and when, and I looked up and caught him staring at me.  I smiled the friendliest smile I could.  "Hope Mouse didn't freak you out too much."

"No – she's OK." He said dubiously.

"She really is!  She's just like a family friend, that's all.  She gave me my surfboard, actually.  She can be pretty scary if she doesn't like you, but she's great to have on your side.  I haven't seen her in forever."

"Sure." He nodded.  "She's pretty- well…"

"Yeah.  Boy, those guys were big, huh?  Quantum looks old enough to be a teacher!  Kinda scary."

"A little."

"I guess it'll be OK."  I just wanted him to forget about Mouse and Bob and for us to be little kids again – us against all the big people.  Teammates. "I heard Laser was the youngest cadet when he went to the Academy."

"Really?"

"Yeah.  And he's done pretty good.  So we can handle it."

He smiled tentatively.   "I guess.  I wish I had all the experience with this stuff that you do."

"I haven't ever been through anything like _this_.  I've never even been away from home before.  That's why I'm glad I got a cool roommate – having to live with a jerk for the whole hour would've been totally scraggy."

"Sure.  No problem."  I could see him relaxing now – I think deep down he needed me as a friend almost as much as I needed him.  "I've been away before, for a few cycles.  It's tough, but you'll get used to it."

"Really?  Thanks!  I hope so."  I grinned.  "Let's promise to help each other out as long as we're here, OK?  So we don't have to deal with stuff by ourselves.  Promise?"

"Sure, Enzo – promise. Good idea."

"High density!"

"Alphanumeric."

I was pretty relieved – we were OK.  I felt really glad to have him around all of a sudden.  "You want me to teach you a couple chords on the guitar?"

"Yeah!  That'd be cool."

I got out the guitar and cranked up the amp a little.  It's easier to fake it on electric than acoustic, but I wasn't sure how good the soundproofing was and I didn't want to get us in trouble.  I really only know like four chords, and I can almost play the intro to one song.  Not very impressive.  But we were having fun just goofing around and I had managed to teach him a "G" when Bob walked in on us.

"Well – here's a couple of likely lads if I've ever seen 'em!" he grinned.

"Hey, Bob!"

"Hey back, Tiger."  He sat next to me and tousled my hair.  "Hi Linux- how's your first cycle going so far?  Having fun?"

"Yes Sir."  I could tell Linux was a little nervous around Bob after the conversation in the mess hall, but Bob wasn't having any of it.

"Please don't call me that!  My name's Bob.  OK?"

"I'm having trouble with names today." Linux sighed.  "Sorry, Bob."

"NP, Kiddo."  Bob laughed and frazzed up Linux' hair a little bit and he laughed too.  Bob is amazing – he knew Linux was my friend now, so just like that he was _Bob's_ friend too.  That's just how Bob is.  "Enzo teaching you mastery of the guitar?"

"Not hardly.  I just about managed to show him a "G" chord and I'm tapped out."

"LOL! You're always so hard on yourself, Tiger."

"Play us something?"

"You won't learn by listening to _me_ play, Enzo.  The only way to learn is to practice."

"C'mon – please?"

"Yeah!" Linux piped up.  "Play something, please?"

"Sheesh!  I'm outvoted." Bob sighed.  "All right, hand me that thing and I'll figure something out."

"Pixelacious!  Thanks, Bob."

"No problem."  He plucked a couple strings tentatively and arched his eyebrows in surprise.  "You tuned it already?"

"Uh – yeah."

"Good job!  You did it perfect, too."  He winked at me and hammered out a quick progression.  "What'll it be?  Something slow again?"

I was in a very different kind of mood than I'd been the night before.  "Naw – something fast.  And electric. Rock out!"

"I'll get you boys kicked out of here your first cycle!"

"Naw – it'll be cool.  C'mon!"

He laughed and shook his head.  "All right.  But I'm not turning it up to eleven.  Ready?"  Linux and I nodded.  "Remember, you asked for it."

He started out on the intro and it was kinda slow, just a chord progression.  Then he launched into a solo and I recognized the tune.  Crash, it was awesome!  I swear I could see smoke rising off the strings but Bob just sat there and grinned like a little kid which was OK, because that's what Linux and I were doing too.

He played about a thirty nano solo that was totally pixelacious, and then went back into the chord progression again.  He sucked in a big breath, and that's when I realized he was gonna sing…

            _In a white room_

_            With black curtains,_

_            Near the station_

_            Blackroof country_

_            No gold pavements_

_            Tired starlings…_

I love Bob – he's more than a father to me.  And he's an incredible guitar player – all the time he was singing he kept working that axe till I thought his fingers would bleed.  But there's no nice way to say it – he's an absolutely horrifying singer.

            _I'll wait in this place, where the sun never shines_

_            Wait in this place where the shadows run from themselves_

Never mind the fact that I had no clue what the words meant – "White Room" is like that.   But Bob's voice – it sounds like a thousand nulls being tortured by Mike the TV. It's not pretty.  I looked over at Linux and he was just staring, with his mouth open.  Bob was oblivious – his eyes were squeezed shut tight, and he was selling that song like he owned it.

Something about the whole picture was too much – I lost it totally.  I started laughing and I couldn't stop – eventually I fell down on the floor and grabbed my sides.  I was sure I was gonna break a rib.

Linux looked at me and I could see he was fighting it.  Finally he couldn't hold back and started giggling too, and in a few nanos he was laughing as hard as I was.  We were both laughing so hard we drowned out Bob's voice and even he heard us.  I thought I was gonna pee my pants for a nano.

Poor Bob – he stopped singing and sat there, looking hurt.  "Fine – _this_ is the thanks I get for sharing my gift with you…"

"I'm s-s-sorry, Bob!"  It was hard to talk yet.  "I…I-"

"Save it for the jury, Kid.  After I break your neck…"

"Sorry!"  I choked down my laughter as well as I could and wiped my eyes.  "You… You…  Really _shouldn't_ sing.  I'm s-sorry!"

Bob smiled ruefully and looked at Linux.  "What about you, Pal?  What'd you think?"

Linux looked like he just swallowed an undo command.  He stammered for a nano, shifting all around like his pants were too tight.  "I…  Uh…  I think you're a really great guitar player."

I lost it again after that, and even Bob laughed a little bit.  "Maybe you're in the wrong school, Kid – you should be in the diplomatic corps."  He grinned down at me.  "We can't all be gifted with a sweet voice, can we?  Maybe Enzo would like to sing for us?"

"NO!"  I bounced to my feet.  That was definitely _not_ gonna happen.

"Enzo sings?" Linux giggled.

"Like an _angel_."

"No – I don't!  Just end file.  I _don't sing_."

"My mistake." Bob said dryly.

"Dude – that was too funny!  You guys crack me up!"

"Thanks a lot." I sighed.  I sat back down on the bed and all three of us were together, Bob in between Linux and me.

"How about a compromise?  We sing one together?"

"Jeez, Bob-"

"I think it'd be fun.  But I don't know very many songs."

"That's cool Linux.  Let me see…"  Bob drummed his fingers on the neck of the guitar.  "Since you guys are determined to act like 1.1 hour olds, maybe we should sing a song written by one!"

"Huh?"

"Don't worry – just play along, you'll pick it up.  This one was very popular with the kids in my grammar school in the Supercomputer."

"Dude – it's _that_ old?"

"Just keep it up, Enzo."  Bob muttered.  He turned off the amp and started picking out a nice acoustic riff.  He started to sing again, but he didn't have to drown out the amp this time so that wasn't so bad.

            _Old Ben Lucas_

_            Had a lot o' mucous_

_            Comin' right out of his nose;_

_            He picked and picked_

_            Till it made you sick_

_            But back again it grows!_

"Dude – that's disgusting!" Linux howled.  I just laughed.  I'd never heard a song like that come out of an adult's mouth before.  But this _was_ Bob…

            _When it's cotton picking time in Texas, _

_            Boys, it's booger picking time for Ben._

_He'd raise that finger mean and hostile _

_Stick it in that waitin' nostril, _

_Here he comes with a green one once again. _

_  
_

Linux and I were keeping up a pretty steady roar of laughter through the whole song, and Bob had a huge null-eating grin on his face as he sang.  I was pretty sure I was gonna injure myself, I'd been laughing so much.  "Come on, you two – everybody now.  One more time!"

            _Old Ben Lucas_

_            Had a lot o' mucous_

_            Comin' right out of his nose;_

_            He picked and picked_

_            Till it made you sick_

_            But back again it grows!_

We joined him on the last chorus, and Linux' voice was almost as bad as Bob's.  But with that kinda song it didn't matter.  Bob strummed out the finale and Linux and I both fell back on the bed.

"Yeah, I figured that one was about the right intellectual level for the room.  Don't forget to tip your waitresses, now!   Thank you very much."

"You're welcome!" I sputtered.

Linux wiped his eyes.  "I…  I didn't know Guardians did stuff like that."  Our eyes met and we both started howling again.

"We do on our cycles off.  I'm glad to know Enzo is developing such a refined taste in music.  Dot will be so proud…"

"End file!  _You're_ the one who played it!"  I punched him and he playfully grabbed me around the neck.

"Bob, you're totally high density."

"Thanks, Linux." Bob grinned at him and Linux looked like the happiest kid in the net.  "You guys have a big cycle tomorrow – first cycle of classes.  Think I'll haul my bitmap over to the staff building and leave you to it.  Gotta get to bed soon."

"Really?  Can't you stay awhile, please?"

"Better not, Enzo.  You guys need to start getting yourself organized and I'll just be in the way."

"OK." I sighed.  Bob got up and put the guitar away.  Playtime was over.  "I…  Will I see you tomorrow?"

"Of course!  I wouldn't leave without saying goodbye!  I'll meet you after classes and we'll have dinner and talk about it. Might even sit in on a class."

"Cool!  Thanks."

"Probably go home after that.  Think that'll be OK, Tiger?"

That was a sock to the gut, even though it was pretty much what we'd talked about.  "Sure – I guess.  I'll be OK."

"I know you will." He grinned.  "Don't worry about it – you guys will do fine.  This is gonna be the best experience of your lives – I promise.  I'll see you tomorrow, all right?"

"Yeah.  See ya tomorrow."

"Come on."  He held his arms out and I went over and he gave me a hug.  I was a _little_ embarrassed, but it wasn't too bad.  "Sleep well, OK?  Tomorrow's your big cycle – what you've been working for.  I'm proud of you."

"Thanks."  I hugged him back as hard as I could.  "I'll see you after classes."

"You got it."  He pounded my back a couple times and straightened up.  "Linux – I'll probably see you tomorrow, too.  You have a good first cycle, OK?"

"I'll try.  Thanks, Bob."

"Night, Boys.  Stay out of trouble."  He gathered up his stuff and winked at us, then he was gone.

"Wow.  He is amazingly cool."

"Yeah.  He's pixelacious."  I was totally proud to have Bob as a friend right then.

Linux sat down on his bed and sighed.  "Guess I'll start getting ready.  Don't want to screw up tomorrow and be in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"I guess."  Playtime was over.  As of the next cycle I was officially a cadet at Guardian Academy.  It was so scary, so exhilarating that I could barely get my brain around it.

"Indoctrination is at eight-hundred.  What time you wanna get up?  We gotta shower and get breakfast and everything."

"Uh…"  I thought about that for a nano.  I went over and grabbed some stuff from on top of my dresser.  "I think I'll shower now."

"What?  Why?"

"It'll be better – no crowds in there.  Plus it'll save time in the morning.  Besides, I didn't shower this morning so I feel kinda stinky."

"Oh.  Whatever."  He picked up his organizer and lay back in bed.  "See ya in a few, then."

"Yup."  I took my stuff – making sure I had my icon – and headed off down the hall.  The showers were only two doors down from our room and when I went in my worst fears were confirmed – no doors on the shower stalls and no changing rooms.  Just one big locker area.  Crash.  Well, taking showers at night was just gonna be a regular routine, that's all.

When I got back I climbed into bed and studied the readme file for a little while, just making sure I knew all the big stuff.  Linux was doing the same thing and neither of us said much of anything.  I guess we both had plenty of our own thoughts to keep us busy.

I was scared – I'm not ashamed to admit it.  I was a little kid and I was getting ready to face a big challenge.  I knew there were gonna be a lot of other kids who didn't think I belonged there, who thought I was too young and too small and too basic.  Deep down I felt like I could cut it – I felt Bob's trust and belief holding my confidence up.  But until I actually _did_ it there was always gonna be a little doubt in my processor.  Maybe even more than a little.

I set my organizer down and deleted my light, and a few nanos later Linux did the same.  We lay there in the dark for a while and listened to each other breathing.  I was the first one to say anything.  "Linux?"

"Yeah?"

"You nervous?"

A nano of silence.  "Yeah.  You?"

"Yeah."  I felt a little better, knowing it wasn't just me.  "You really think we can do it?"

"I hope so."

"Yeah."  There wasn't much else to say.  When everything was processed both of us were gonna have to face it alone and do the best we could.  I just hoped Linux would be there for me on the bad cycles.  "Night."

"Night, Enzo."

I lay there for a long time, thinking about why I was here, what it meant to me.  I thought about Bob and Dot and Matrix, about everything I was giving up to come to the Academy.  I had them behind me, but when everything was processed it was up to me.  I wanted to make them proud – I wanted it so badly I could feel it inside me.  It was about me, but it was about them, too – and everything they'd done to help me, to get me to that point.   They'd given up a lot to get me where I was.  I wanted to do it  - I _had_ to do it, for them.  They believed in me and I wasn't gonna let them down.  And that was the thought I took with me when I finally drifted off.


	5. To Mend and Defend

It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say my stomach was doing flip-flops the next morning.  Me and Linux went down to the mess hall and got some breakfast, but I didn't eat a whole lot of it.  When I get nervous I don't eat.  Linux looked pretty scared too but he wolfed his food down – guess that was just how _he was when he was nervous._

Linux didn't have a problem with us sitting off by ourselves this time – I don't think either one of us wanted to talk much.  There was a low buzz of conversation in the hall but it wasn't loud and boisterous like I imagined a room full of kids would be.  Maybe they were nervous, too – the first-hours anyway.

I was looking down at my tray, sort of compulsively stirring my bytemeal with my spoon, when I checked my internal clock for the hundredth time that morning.  It was just a few micros before eight-hundred.  I was a little startled when Linux actually spoke to me.  "What're you thinking about, Enzo?'

I looked up and tried to smile.  "Bob.  You?"

"Cray.  My brother."

"I really want him to be proud of me.  I want to do this so much, Linux!  I want him to know he was right to make me a Guardian…"

"Don't worry – you'll do fine. Bob wouldn't make a mistake."

"Thanks!" I sighed.  "You will too."

"Thanks.  Cray needs me – I have to."

"It won't be so bad…  We're as good as any of these nulls, right?"

"I sure hope so."

"We definitely are."  I grinned.  "Ascii.  Kick.  Us.  Right?"

He giggled.  "Scared.  Shitless.  Me."

"Dude!" I laughed.  

"Come on.  I think it's time."

"Yeah.  Let's do it."  I stuck out my hand.  "Good luck."

"Good luck."  Shaking hands with him was weird – he was the only sprite I'd ever shook with whose hands were as small as mine.  "Remember your promise."

"Yours too."

There was a general trickle of cadets moving headed towards the great hall – the biggest building on campus, the one where the auditorium and most of the offices and even some classrooms were.  The auditorium was at the end of one of the spokes that radiated around Laser's office.

"Dude!" I gasped when I saw the interior.  I couldn't help it – it was amazing.  The assembly hall was as big as the one in Mainframe where we'd seen the Mainframe Strolling Players after the restart.  There were big pillars along the sides of the auditorium, and up on stage, behind the podium, was a huge Guardian icon in black and gold.  It was one of the most amazing sights I've ever seen – it set my heart thumping under my icon, and not just from fear this time.

Everyone was supposed to go to indoctrination – the new students, the second-hours, even the teachers.  It was for the whole Academy.  The hall was about half-full when we got there – Linux and I found seats near the front, where the younger kids seemed to be congregating.  There were a lot of nervous faces among our group.  The older cadets seemed to hang towards the back, and there were smiles and even a few laughs among them.

Here I am – talking about the Academy that was gonna be my life for the next two hours – and I haven't really said anything about how it actually _worked.  Some of it I knew from a zillion talks with Bob, some of it I knew from the readmes – but I think I should summarize the basic idea…_

When the Academy was online in the Supercomputer, before the output hit the cooling fan, all of the teachers were Guardians.  There were plenty of Guardians to go around, and the best ones  - the best at dealing with kids, anyway – were chosen to teach the various subjects.  They all had keytools, and the cadets all got the chance to work with keytools sometimes as part of their training.  When (if) a cadet completed the training a keytool chose him or her and they became partners.

In those cycles games were a huge part of Guardian training – the biggest part.  Naturally that's the area Bob was able to train _me in the most, so I felt like I was definitely ahead of the pack there.  That was very cool.  But nowadays, games were only a small part of the whole training process – important, but nowhere near as important as they once were.  We were at war, after all._

In Bob's cycle, Guardian training was a three-hour program. Now it was only two – and sacrifices had to be made.  The main focus of the Academy was still teaching us "to mend and defend" – but now it was Daemon that we were defending against.  Laser wanted to train us to go back to our own systems and lead the resistance to Daemon from there.  We still had to defend our systems from games – but we just didn't have the time to spend on them that Bob and his classmates did.

Here's a really good example – Mouse.  Mouse was training us in hacking – using computer defenses to protect our systems against Daemon, and maybe even to aggressively attack her.  No one in the net was as good at that geeky stuff as Mouse – but in the old cycles it was just the sort of stuff the Collective was supposed to defend _against.  Now it was just another weapon to use against Daemon – and an extremely powerful one._

That reminds me of another really important change – the teachers.  There were no clean Guardians left except for Laser and Bob, and Matrix kinda.  Even me, in a way.  So naturally other people had to teach us.  Laser recruited people like Mouse and Ray – sprites with special skills they could teach.  He'd also brought in a few sprites who for some reason or another were ousted from the Collective or left it on their own, and no longer had the protocols.  They still had the knowledge, though – and that was the important thing.  Because Laser was Second Guardian and head of the old Academy he knew all of these sprites, knew how to find them.  It was awesome.

Even so, there were barely enough qualified sprites to teach us as it was.  So for stuff like security and administration and stuff like that, the second-hour students had to help out.  Even a few of the underage cadets that Laser had graduated in his first release – New Guardian Academy v 1.0 – were helping out as a sort of extended internship.  

Oh – games!  I forgot about games.  The Academy had a game simulator engine – a device that could simulate certain game environments on a small scale.  It wasn't anything like the old one at the Supercomputer, but it was OK for teaching us specific skills and stuff like that.  They could control what we encountered – if they wanted to test on a particular ability they set up the GSE to do it.  Also, there was no chance of us being nullified if we lost, which I guess was a plus.

The really cool part is the game rosters.  See, Gallifrey Seven got real games, just like Mainframe.  And the Academy didn't just waste them – they used them as a training tool for us cadets.  There was a schedule updated every minute – they called it a game roster.  Every cadet in the academy was on alert for a certain time every minute, and it was our responsibility to know when we were on call.  When a cube dropped, the cadets that were assigned that slot on the roster went into the game, along with the teacher who was assigned that slot.  We all went into the game and we had to beat it as a team.  The teacher was in charge, but all the team members had responsibilities and we all had to help.  Teams were made up of four cadets – two firsts and two seconds - and one teacher.  We were never assigned the same teacher and the same partners from minute to minute – that way we'd have to learn to work with everybody, and all types of personalities.

Crash, I could talk about that forever.  All of it – it was incredibly pixelacious.  But that's the basic idea, anyways.  I don't know if everybody knew as much as I did that morning – they all had the readme files but they hadn't had guys like Bob telling them stories since they were little.   

Once the auditorium was mostly full of cadets a few adults started to file on stage – teachers.  They sat down on chairs set up either side of the podium in the center of the stage.  I didn't recognize anyone until Ray and Mouse showed up, both grinning.  I noticed that none of teachers were in Guardian uniform – but I guess none of them were Guardians, so it made sense.  Still, it was weird to think that we were being trained how to be Guardians by teachers who weren't.  Desperate times call for desperate measure, Dot says.

Ray caught my eye and winked at me, and I smiled back.  I was gonna wave but I decided it'd be better not to under the circumstances.  He sat down next to Mouse and a few milliseconds later Laser walked in, and the whole auditorium all of a sudden got very quiet.

He looked very impressive – even more because he was the only one up on the stage in Guardian blues.  Even though it was whiter than Bob's he still had that silver hair, and User, was it shining in the lights.  I got a little lump in my throat just looking at him up there and thinking about where I was and what was happening.  He stepped up to the podium and cleared his throat, but he didn't even really need to – there wasn't a sound in that place anyways.

_"Good morning, everyone.  Welcome to the Guardian Academy, v. 2.03.  I'm sure you all know why you're here, so I won't waste your time with a lot of pleasantries.  The net we all call home is under attack – the reason this place exists is to help stave off that attack. There is a heavy responsibility on the shoulders of everyone here – the men and women who will teach you, keep you fed and clothed and safe – and most of all, on each of you.  The future of the net is in your hands._

_I trust you've all accessed the readme files that were downloaded onto your organizers since your arrival here.  If you haven't, you're off to a very bad start."  _

A nervous laugh passed through the hall when he said that.

"_If you have, you know where you're expected to be today and when, so I won't bore you by repeating it.  I understand that this may seem like a lot to take in for some of you new cadets, but I promise you it will get easier in time.  Meanwhile, use the resources at your disposal – your teachers, the experience of the cadets in their second hour.  Second-hours – part of your responsibility is to be educators.  I expect you to help the new cadets to the best of your ability.  The mission of this academy is a fragile one – we will succeed or fail together, as a unit.  A success by a classmate is a success for you – never forget that._

_When I look out at you I see a variety of sprites, from many systems, of many ages.  In this academy you are will judged equally – you are all expected to behave as adults and accept the responsibilities given you.  Some of you are very young, and these responsibilities will not come easily.  I understand.  You will be asked to grow up very quickly – but if I did not think you were up to the challenge you would not be sitting here today.  I know you will not disappoint me._

_During the time you spend here you will learn a great many things.  Your teachers will share the wisdom of their experience and training with you.  You will also learn from each other - learn the values of teamwork, friendship, trust and loyalty.  Being a Guardian is about being self-reliant and independent – you are not here to learn to follow orders mindlessly.  Once you graduate and go back to your systems you will have to make a great many decisions on your own.  But while you are here you are part of a team – each one of you an indispensable part.  We succeed or fail together, as a unit._

_We have rules here.  By now all of should know them pretty well – within a few cycles I expect you to know them by heart.  Provided you follow those rules you will be allowed a great deal more freedom than most of you are used to at home.  Your mothers and fathers are not here now – whether you follow the rules is your decision.  But rest assured, there are consequences when you don't follow those rules.  By now you should be well-versed in those consequences as well._

_First-hour cadets: In a few moments you will be standing on this stage, receiving version 1.0 of the Guardian protocols.  From the moment your icons are upgraded you will be Guardians.  Your lives will never be the same.  When you accept those protocols you accept all the duties and responsibilities of the Collective.  You accept the mantle of defender of the system – and defender of the net.  That will always be your primary responsibility.  Do not enter into this contract lightly – and do not enter it unwillingly.  If any of you do not wish to accept those responsibilities, you should say so now – because once you accept the protocols, you are a Guardian._

_Second-hours – You have all fulfilled the requirements of your first hour here successfully, and earned the right to continue as a second-hour cadet.  Your icons will be upgraded to Guardian level 1.1.  More will be asked of you than ever before – you will be tested by your teachers as you have never been tested.  And you will be asked to help the first-hours in some fashion every cycle, I can promise you.  Nothing you do here is more important than that.  Once you leave here at the end of the hour, you will be expected to fulfill the responsibilities of a full Guardian – and no one will be there to make sure you do.  It will be up to you.  That is why we must make certain before you leave here that you are prepared, and why the challenges before you in this hour will be so much greater than you have ever faced."_

At this point Laser looked out over the cadets, scanning the room, and smiled a little for the first time.

_"I imagine all of you are fairly anxious to get up here and receive the protocols – especially the first-hours.  Well, I don't blame you – it will be one of the greatest moments of your life, and I won't delay it much further.  I just want to leave you with a few final thoughts._

_Most of you have seen the devastation Daemon has wrought first-hand.  You may have lost loved ones to her infection, or to her armies.  You may have seen sprites dressed in Guardian uniforms do terrible things – perhaps even been a victim yourself.  I want you to understand – these men and women are not Guardians.  They are no more responsible for their actions than if they were deleted – they have been perverted, and the ideals the Collective stands for have been debased.  When Daemon has been defeated perhaps they will be Guardians again – we do not fully understand the nature of her infection.  But it is possible._

_Until then, they must be views as threats – but never viewed with hate.  If you hate them you hate yourself – because these men and women gave their codes over to the Guardian Collective, and now they are prisoners because of that commitment. Perhaps we can free them from their imprisonment – perhaps not.  But we must never lose sight of the sacrifices they have made.  They paved the road on which you are now standing.  If we succeed, it will be because they and others before them founded this Collective and kept it strong.  In their names, and in their memories, we must not fail._

_Now – I will call your names one by one, starting with the incoming first-hours.  When you hear your name, please leave your seat and walk onto this stage, where your icons will be upgraded.  Please remain on stage for the duration of the ceremony and honor your classmates with your support.  After the ceremony is complete, please proceed to the athletic fields where you will attend your first class of the semester – physical conditioning.  I trust that you all know where you are supposed to be after that.  _

_I have nothing more to add – except to welcome you all to the Academy.  You are about to embark on the greatest adventure of your lives – a journey that will take you places you have never imagined, and show you reserves of character you never imagined you had.  I expect nothing less of you than you are capable of –dedication, courage, and decency.  I expect you to be your best.  And I know you will not disappoint me.  Thank you, and welcome."_

I don't know whether we were supposed to or not, but a big cheer rolled through the cadets then, and everybody stood up and started whooping like crazy.  I joined in - it was impossible not to.  I've never felt anything like it – hearing all those voices was amazing.  They were _young – like me!  There was so much enthusiasm, so much pure happiness in that room – I've never felt so much a part of something as I did at that nano.  I've always been an outsider back home – the only kid in the whole system.  Being in that hall at that nano was a burst of pure energy shooting through my entire body._

One by one Laser called the cadets up to the stage to receive the protocols, and everybody – even the teachers – stood and applauded as they walked up. Laser spoke to each kid for a few nanos after he upgraded them and shook their hands, and they all walked off looking a little dazed.  Linux got called, and I pounded him on the back a couple times as he headed for the stage.  It was high density.

Laser called my name, and even though I already had the protocols I still felt a thrill as I heard the cheers and felt all the eyes in the room focus on me. Little Enzo.  I'd never been the center of so much attention and it freaked me out a little bit, especially because I was convinced everybody was thinking about how puny I was.  

I got up on stage and I saw Mouse and Ray grinning at me and I grinned back.  I managed to get all the way to Laser without stumbling and stopped in front of him with a deep breath.   "Enzo.  Obviously you've already got the protocols, so we'll dispense with that part of the ceremony for you.  But this moment still belongs to you – this is still the nano you join the Collective.  Congratulations."

"Yes, Sir.  Thank you Sir." I breathed.  He stuck out his hand and I shook it, and everybody applauded again as I walked over and stood next to Linux at the edge of the stage.  He gave me a big relieved grin and I returned it, and released the breath I'd been holding in.

That was when I saw Bob.  He was standing in the wings at the far end of the stage, watching the proceedings with his arms crossed.  He was watching me when I noticed him – I guess he'd been watching me the whole time.  He grinned and saluted me, and I saluted back.  We stood there and cheered the others as they were called up to the stage, the first-hours looking mostly flustered and nervous, then the seconds, calmer and with a little swagger in their walk.  We applauded all of them and hollered as each name was announced, even though we didn't know who any of them were, really.  It didn't matter – we were all Guardians.  All in all it was one of the greatest moments of my life.

We had a light schedule of classes on the first cycle – which was probably just as well, 'cause I was so charged up on nervousness and excitement that I couldn't concentrate on anything for more than a few nanos.  Laser was smart – he set it up so the first class was physical conditioning.  If you've got a hundred hyper teenagers on your hands the best thing to do is let them get out and run around and burn some of that excess energy off.

Once we got to the fields they split us off into the firsts and seconds, told us to boot into workout uniforms and ran us through some basic calisthenics.  Our trainer was a guy named Bernoulli – I'm not sure what his background was but he was an older guy, almost as old as Laser.  He was in great shape, though – and he pushed us pretty hard considering it was the first cycle.  I did a lot of conditioning drills as part of my training with Bob, but nothing could mask the fact that I just hadn't grown much yet.  Little legs just have a hard time keeping up with big ones sometimes.  Seeing everybody out there in their shorts and t-shirts was kinda intimidating – even the girls looked stronger than I did, mostly.  I could tell this class was gonna have some challenging moments.

Not that the girls didn't look really good in their gym clothes - believe me, they did.  It was hard to keep my processor on what Mr. Bernoulli was saying sometimes, since what was going on around me was a lot more interesting.  

After we got done with conditioning it was lunchtime, so we were free to go back to our dorm and shower or rest or just have lunch before our next class.  I decided to go straight to lunch, 'cause I hadn't really eaten breakfast and I was really hungry.  Linux said he wanted to shower first so he went back to the dorm, and I was faced with going to mess on my own for the first time.

I looked around a little for Bob, but I couldn't find him so I just went straight ahead to the mess in the great hall.  I was nervous but I'd had a little taste of being around girls that morning and my curiosity was stronger than my fear.  The mess there was mostly like the one in the dorm except they had a bunch of big round tables instead of the four long ones.  There were maybe thirty kids there, no more than that.  I got a tray of food, found a fairly empty table and took my bearings.

There was a lot more chatter than I'd noticed before – cadets were settling in and some of them knew each other a little bit so they were talking to each other more.  I ate my lunch slowly, trying to look around the room and observe people without seeming like I was staring.

I was about halfway finished with my sandwich when three cadets came and sat next to me at the table – two girls and a guy.  I was pretty sure they were all first-hours – they looked fairly young and still a little nervous.  Well, two of them – the third one, a teal-skinned girl with golden hair who might've been 1.5 – looked like she owned the place and she knew it.  She was dressed in her workout clothes and once I saw her, there was no one else in that mess hall.

"Hi." She smiled, and I smiled back.  

"Hi." I mumbled.  I forced myself to look at the others.  "Hey you guys."

They nodded back at me and smiled.  Those two had changed back into their uniforms.  "First-hour?" the guy asked.

"Yeah."

"Us too." The other girl said.  I don't even remember what she looked like.

"Pretty wild, huh?" the guy said.  "Being here and everything."

"Sure.  But it's cool."

"How's the food?"

"Uh – good.  You know – it's not like my sister's astro-chicken parmigiana, but it's OK."  The boy and the girl laughed, but the teal-haired one next to me didn't make a sound – she just matter-of-factly ate her lunch, looking very focused.  The other kids were making small-talk as they ate and I tried to keep up, but I wasn't too interested.

One thing I really remember is how she smelled.  She'd been in conditioning too and I guess she'd been sweating but she didn't smell sweaty, she just smelled fresh and alive and _good.  It was like nothing I'd ever experienced before.  And there was a little sheen on her bare legs below the table, it might her skin look like it was lit up from the inside._

I wanted to ask her name, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.  In fact I was sweating more than I did in the workout, and feeling increasingly uncomfortable.  I wolfed down the last couple bites of my lunch and figured I'd better get out of there ASAP.

"Gotta get ready for my next class." I stammered.

"What do you have next?" the other girl asked.

"Uh…  Intro to games."

"Oh!  I've got that later.  Hope it's fun."

"Yeah!  See ya, I guess."  I stumbled a little as I pushed back from the table and the teal girl looked up with a glint in here eyes.  "S-sorry!"

She grinned and stared at me for a moment. "You ought to be more careful."

"Uh – yeah!  I will, thanks."

"See you around."

"Yeah!  See ya!"  I turned around, almost tripped on my chair but didn't, and walked away a little too fast.  I dumped my tray, walked straight out of there and back to the dorm, and didn't take a slow breath until I was sitting safely on my bed.

Linux walked in just as I was getting ready to head out for my first classroom assignment.  "Hey!  What's up?  Your face is all red."

"It is?  Guess I ate too fast…"

"Huh.  You OK?"

"Yeah." I sighed.  "I'm cool."

"Pretty exciting, huh?  Wasn't that alphanumeric, getting up on stage and all that cheering and stuff?"

"Yeah.  That was high density."

He looked down at his icon and his eyes got real big.  "Isn't this awesome?  I look at it and I can hardly believe it."  It made me smile – I remembered seeing that look in the mirror when I was 1.0. It made me feel old and wise for a nano, which I really liked.  "This is so high density."

"Yeah.  I still can't believe we're actually here sometimes.  You've got physical defense last period, right?"

"Yeah."

"Cool! So I'll see ya there, then.  We can compare notes."

"Cool.  I'll see ya there."  I grabbed my organizer and headed out the door.  I had a scary nano or two then – I got lost on the way to my class.  There's like three different buildings where the classrooms are, and all these deleted hallways and stuff, and I didn't know exactly where I was supposed to go.  I had horrible Mpegs in my head about walking into the classroom late and everyone staring at me and laughing and it reminded me of a dream I used to have when I was little, except this time I was wearing clothes.

I finally got so desperate that I did the thing I'd been avoiding at any cost and asked a second-hour where to go.  I was all flustered and breathing hard and he laughed a little, but he didn't seem too surprised.  He pointed and told me to go down the hall and take the next two rights, and I did and behold, chatroom 21B was right there and I didn't think I'd ever seen a more beautiful sight.

I made it just at the last nano – I think I was the last kid to arrive but the teacher hadn't started yet and I managed to find a seat near the front and I sat there, panting, trying to catch my breath.

The class itself was pretty uneventful.  It was all about figuring out what a game was without having a keytool to tell you – what the objectives were, what game sprites you had to watch out for, stuff like that.  The teacher was a very young guy – younger than Matrix even, I think.  He seemed almost as nervous as we were and I think he didn't want to overwhelm us with too much stuff on the first cycle.

My last class of the day was physical combat – guess who taught that one?  I made deleted sure I got there in time – I beat Linux there and found a seat near the back and saved the one next to me for him.  When he showed up I waved to him and he sat next to me.  "What's up?"

"I'm running out of RAM".  He sighed.  He looked tired.  "Too much new stuff.  How you doing?"

"I'm OK, I guess.  I got lost and I was almost late to my last class.  It was awful."

"Dude.  Don't wanna do that on the first cycle."

"I _know." I sighed.  "But I didn't know where anything was – I guess I didn't look at the maps that closely.  What'd you have last period?"_

"Virus identification.  It was kinda cool, actually." 

"Yeah.  I start that one tomorrow.  I wish we didn't have to wait till second hour for most of the Daemon stuff."

"Me too."  Linux' face got hard when I mentioned Daemon.  And that's when Mouse walked in.  And User, did that room get quiet then.

She was wearing her katana strapped to her waist, and I guess if you weren't used to Mouse it was a pretty scary sight.  She took a look around the room and grinned.  We locked eyes for a nano and she smiled a little more, then she sat down on the desk at the front of the room.

There were about 15 kids in there, ranging from my age to maybe 1.7 or 1.8, and I bet most of them had never seen anything like Mouse before.  She didn't have to do anything special to get everybody's attention, but she whipped an apple out of her pocket, tossed it in the air, and sliced it into about a dozen pieces before it hit the desk.  I swear you could hear the jaws hitting the floor, but I had to struggle not to laugh.

She popped a slice of apple into her mouth and chuckled, then set the katana down on the desktop.  "Won't be needin' that till y'all are second-hours.  Unless we have problems with talkin' in class, that is."  We sure didn't at that nano.

"Welcome to the Academy, boys and girls.  I'm here to teach you how to take care o' yourself, plain and simple.  You can use your fists, your feet, your head – you can delete somebody easily with any o' those, and with a whole bunch of other things besides.  And I plan to show ya how to do just that.  Sometimes takin' on a virus comes down to hand-to-hand combat – and whatever you guys think you know about it – forget it.  I'm gonna teach y'all how to fight like the Mouse."

She looked around the room again.  "I like to start the class off with a little demo program – just to give y'all an idea what I'm talkin' about.  I just need one of you little dears to come up here and help me.  Anyone wanna volunteer?"  I thought about it, but it was a little awkward – I didn't want everyone talking about how Mouse and I were friends.

"No?  Almost never get one on the first cycle.  How about you, Sugar?"  She tapped the shoulder of a kid in the second row, one of the bigger guys in the room.  He smiled nervously and stood in front of the class.  "What's your name, Honey?"

"Uh – Hal."

"Well, Uh-Hal – welcome.  Then rest of y'all, don't worry – you'll all have your chances to stand up here, and I'll learn everybody's names soon enough.  Now Hal – I assume you don't mind if I drop the "Uh" – no?  Good!  Hal – take this here dagger, would ya?"  She reached into her boot and pulled out a small knife.  There was some nervous tittering from the class.

Mouse grinned at us and then at Hal.  "Good boy.  Now – clear your minds, if ya would.  Shouldn't be too hard for most of you.  OK?  Let's say you got two sprites, you don't know nothin' about either one of 'em except you know one has a dagger, the other has no weapons at all.  Which sprite would you say has the advantage if they were to fight?  Remember, that's all ya know about either sprite.  Anybody?" A girl in the back near me raised her hand hesitantly.  "You, Sugar?"

"Um…  The one with the dagger?"

"All right – that'd seem like a good guess.  Now – start usin' your eyes, too.  Look at Hal, look at me.  Which one of is taller?  You there – at the back."

I gulped.  She was pointing at _me.  "Er – he is."_

"Right.  And who would you say has more body weight?"

Mouse is buff, but she doesn't have any fat on her.  Hal was a pretty big guy, taller than Bob, and not wafer-memory thin.  "Hal again."

"Right again Sugar, if I'm guessin'.  Now Son – assume again you know nothin' about either one of us 'cept what yer eyes just told ya about our height and weight.  Which sprite would you say had the advantage if we were to fight?"

It was tough – I _did know Mouse, and I knew her well.  I knew she could tie Hal into a knot without breaking a sweat, but I also knew that wasn't what she wanted me to say.  I was supposed to pretend I didn't know anything about either one.  I think she picked me because she knew I __would say what she wanted – she knew I understood the point.  "Hal?" I said softly._

"Good, Sugar." She chuckled.  "That's logical.  So what do we see up here?  We see a bigger, taller sprite with a knife and a smaller, shorter one with no weapons at all.  Now Hal – go ahead and pretend you're about to attack me.  You've never met me, and you need to delete me.  I'm Daemon.  Don't _do it now – teachers are in short supply!  Just show us how you'd go about it.  Take a stance."_

Hal was really nervous now – I think he knew he was being set up.  Mouse winked at him and he giggled a little bit, and looked at the dagger like he was holding a null.  He hefted it slowly in his right hand, and spread his feet wide, his right in front of the left, pointing towards her.  He raised the dagger over his head, pointed downwards.  "OK – freeze it there, Honey."

Mouse turned and smiled at us.  "Lesson one – things aren't always what they seem.  What y'all did was size up Hal's advantages.  What y'all _need to do is size up his weaknesses – that's how ya win a fight.  Here's some things I see when I look at Hal.  He doesn't know much about usin' a dagger, to start.  He's holdin' it with a backhand grip.  A weapon in the hands of someone who don't know how to use it is a weakness, not a strength – I don't see a dagger, I see a guy with one free hand instead o' two.  However…"_

She turned her attention back to Hal, who was rapidly losing code from his face.  "The object of a fight is to end it as quick as possible – in your favor, of course.  Even a weaker opponent can get lucky and take ya out if you let a fight drag on too long.  As for this one, I can end it in about half a nano.  Anyone wanna see how?"

There was some nervous laughter from the class.  I guess I was the only one who knew what was gonna happen.  Mouse grinned at us.  "Remember I told ya to size up your opponent's weaknesses, first thing?  Well, knife or not I got a weakness I see that'll end this before any accidents might happen, and if I'm fightin' I aim to exploit it."

Without turning back to Hal she shot her foot out so fast her leg was like a blue blur in the air.  It stopped about the width of a memory chip from Hal's groin.  "This fight just ended."  

Hal doubled over and gasped.  The knife dropped from his hand and clattered to the floor.  He looked distinctly ill, and I don't blame him – I'd been expecting it and even _I flinched and drew my knees up a little.  I doubt there was a guy in that room who didn't.  A soft "Oooh!" went up from the class._

Mouse grinned at Hal and patted his cheek.  "Don't worry, Sugar – one of the things you boys will be learnin' in here is how ta stop that happenin' for real.  You did a real nice job – real nice.  Everybody show Hal our appreciation." She applauded and the class followed politely.  He returned to his seat, limping a little even though she'd never touched him.

Mouse picked up the dagger, tossed it in the air end over end and neatly caught it by the tip, tucking it in her boot.  "Everybody's got a weakness – most more than one.  Figure out what they are and you'll never lose a fight.  That's your thought for the cycle – now scat.  Don't want to overload your little processors."

We'd only been there for a few micros, but I guess she'd proved her point.  She certainly had to Hal.  Everybody filed out, and I was the last one to go.  I looked over at her and smiled, shaking my head a little.  She swallowed a laugh and winked at me, and that was the end of my first cycle of classes at the Guardian Academy.

The halls were pretty empty as we walked back to the boys' dorm after class – Mouse had let us out early, so everybody else was still in their chatrooms, I guess.  When we got back to the dorms Linux suggested we try out the rec room for a while.  I agreed – it seemed like as good a time as any, with so few other kids around.

They had some cool stuff – 3-D pinball, a big vidscreen and a bunch of discs, a couple of simulators.  Linux and I set up in front of a couple pinball units and played for a while.  It was fun – being able to laugh and swear and fool around without having to worry about looking silly in front of an adult was a luxury I could see myself getting used to.  We were the only kids in the place and it was definitely a blast.

I was almost disappointed when the vidwindow opened, but after I'd seen Bob's face for a couple nanos all I could think about was wanting to see him as quickly as possible.  I knew he'd be gone before the end of the cycle and it'd be a long, long time – six minutes – before I'd be around anyone who loved me again.  Laser and Ray and Mouse liked me fine and they'd look out for me, and Linux had (I hoped) become a friend – but Bob loved me.  It was scary to think about him being gone.

"How you holding up, Kiddo?"

"Good." I smiled.  "All done with classes for the cycle."

"You wanna meet up?  I thought we could eat dinner in town and just talk for a while.  I've pretty much wrapped up my business here, so I'm all yours."

"Bob – that'd be alphanumeric!  We're in the rec room.  In the dorm."

"We?  Is Linux there?"

"Yeah – we have our last class together, and Mouse let us out early."

"Mouse!  Still can't get used to her teaching cadets – basic!  Hey, Linux.  Staying out of trouble?"

"Hi Bob!  Doing my best."  I could already tell Bob was starting to become Linux' hero just like he'd been mine.  He still _was mine – but we'd moved past that, too, and it was a lot more satisfying having him as all the other things he was in my life._

"Good boy.  Enzo - I'll meet you over there in a few nanos, OK?"

"Great!  Thanks, Bob."

Bob was true to his word, like always, and picked me up within a few micros.  I thought for a nano about inviting Linux to come with us and I'm sure he would've loved it, but I didn't.  This was my last time with Bob for a while and I wanted him all to myself.  I felt bad, but I hoped Linux would understand.

"So?" Bob asked when we were outside and zipping.

"So buttons." I grinned.  It was something Dot liked to say.

"Very funny.  So how was your first day?  Exciting?"

"Yeah!  The best part was being up on stage, even though I already had the protocols.  If was fun hearing everybody applaud and everything."

"Yeah." Bob smiled.  He glanced down at me.  "Did you see me watching you?"

"When I got up on stage I saw you."

"Well, I was watching you the whole time.  You looked really good up there, Enzo – it was an amazing sight.  I don't think I've ever felt prouder in my life."

"Really?"  I grinned a system wide.  "I felt really proud, Bob.  It was alphanumeric – all of us were a team, together.  I can't even believe how great it felt!"

"Good.  Dad's proud of you too, you know.  He won't tell you, but he is."

Yeah, I…  I know."

Bob wrapped his arm around me.  "Dad knows what an amazing kid you are, Enzo.  He knows how proud you've made me.  A cadet is a cadet in his eyes – they have to be.  Officially.  But Dad knows how I feel about you, I promise."

"Thanks." I whispered.  It felt so right, having Bob's around me, feeling him close.  It made me realize how much I'd come to depend on it.  Dot and even Bob always made sure I knew how they felt for me – they went out of their way to make me feel safe, and loved.  I knew I was gonna miss it.  A lot.

"Whatcha feel like eating?"

"Uh…  Pizza.  How about that?"

"If they make it here." Bob smiled.  They did – we found a little place on a side street that served it.  Not as good as the pizza at Dot's, but it was still pizza.

We spent dinner mostly talking about small stuff – how my cycle had gone, all that.  We didn't talk about home at all – Bob didn't bring it up, and neither did I.  I told him about Mouse's combat class, and he laughed.  "She did _what?"_

I giggled.  "Yeah – you shoulda seen the look on that poor guy's face.  I knew it was coming and _I almost screamed!"_

"Ray's a very lucky man." Bob said wryly.  "Well – she made her point, didn't she?  I don't think you'll forget the lesson anytime soon."

"Definitely _not."_

"That's good though, Tiger – you listen up in her class.  The whole point is that you don't have to be the biggest and strongest to take care of yourself. Until you hit your growth spurt that's pretty good information for you to pick up, isn't it?"

"Sure." I sighed.  Bob was right, of course – and he and Matrix had taught me some rudimentary self-defense techniques back home.  I know they were worried about me being so small. _I sure was._

I wish dinner would have lasted forever, but it was over in what felt like a nano.  It was almost dark out and we walked around the town for a few micros, but Bob was leaving and he didn't want it to get too late so we zipped back towards the campus.  I could feel emotions starting to gather inside me, getting ready to well up until I couldn't hold them in anymore.

"Come on over to the staff building with me – I've got my stuff all packed.  I'll open the portal from there."

"K." I managed to whisper.  Bob glanced over at me, but kept going.  I followed behind him and we went inside the staff apartment building.  It looked a little nicer than the dorms, but not all that much.  There wasn't a lot at this academy that was fancy.

Bob gathered up his stuff – he hadn't really brought that much – and we left the little apartment he'd slept in the night before. It was totally dark outside now, and there was no one walking around or anything so we were alone.  Bob set his stuff down on the grass and sighed.  "Well – looks like it's that time."

"Yeah." I whispered.  He smiled at me but I couldn't quite smile back.  "Thanks f-for staying and everything."

"Course.  You know I wouldn't leave until I was sure you're all right here."

"Yeah.  I know."

"Keep your head in your classes, OK?  Don't get overwhelmed – one cycle at a time.  Ask lots of questions – the teachers like that.  And work hard."

"I will.  I p-promise."

"Try and have fun too, OK?"

"I'll try."

"Enzo…"

I couldn't help myself any longer – I jumped on him and wrapped myself around him as tight as I could.  I buried my face into his chest hard, trying to keep myself from crying.

He straightened up and lifted me off the ground a little.  He had me wrapped up as tight as I had him.  "Kiddo…  I'm really gonna miss you.  Games just aren't gonna be the same."

"Bob…"

"It'll be OK, Enzo – you'll be fine.  I know you can handle this.  Just be strong."

"I w-wish you could stay here…"

"I do too, Tiger.  But I can't – you know that.  It's time for you to become your own man for a while."

"I'll try."  It wasn't easy to talk.  A few tears were starting to sneak out now, but I managed to choke most of them down.

He just held me for a few nanos.  If his arms were getting tired, he didn't let on.  "I'm so proud of you.  I'll always be proud of you.  Don't you ever forget that, OK?"

"N-no.  Bob, thanks for making me a cadet and coming and staying with me, and… everything!  Thanks for everything…"

"I've loved every nano, Tiger.  Just be strong for me, right?"

"OK, Bob."

"OK."  He set me down, but he still held my head against his chest.  "It's never gonna be quite the same, you know.  The next time I see you, you'll be a different sprite."

"No I won't…"

"Sure you will.  You're gonna grow up fast here."  He knelt and looked me in the eye.  "You've been a pretty amazing little boy, Kiddo.  It's been a blast being with you.  Next time I see you you'll be a young man."

"I don't know.  I just…  I just know I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too." He sighed.  He brushed the hair out of my eyes and kissed me on the forehead, like he had in the hallway when we saw the other kids.  "I love you, Tiger.  I'll see you in six minutes."

I sobbed once and squeezed my eyes shut.  "I…  You too."  I made a liar of myself over something I'd told him when I was 1.0.  "I love you."

"I know, Tiger.  You be good.  And have fun."

"OK…  Take c-care of Dot and Mac and everybody, K?"

"Promise.  Say goodbye to Linux.  He seems like a good kid."

"He is."  He straightened up and squeezed my shoulders, and I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself.  

"You OK?"

"Y-Yes."  I didn't mean it, but I didn't want him to feel bad.

"Good boy."  He lifted my up under the shoulders and hugged me one last time.  "You're my boy, Enzo.  You always will be.  I'll be waiting for you when you come home, all right?"

"Yeah."  I kissed him on the cheek and put my head on his shoulder.  I just held him for a while and didn't say anything, and neither did he.  I wanted to archive exactly what it felt like to be hugged like this, because I knew I wasn't gonna be hugged by anybody for a long time.  

Finally, he set me down and lifted my chin with his finger.  I wiped my eyes and tried to smile.  "See you s-soon."

"See you soon."

"Love you!"

"Love you too, Kiddo.  Stand clear now, OK?  Can't have a portal without a little energy."

I nodded and stepped back a few paces, and he opened the portal and stepped inside.  He waved to me before it closed and I waved back, but I'm not sure if he saw me or not.

Once he was gone a tremendous feeling of loneliness came over me, worse than I've ever felt in my life.  I sat down and leaned against the staff building and put my head in my hands for a while.  I cried a little bit, just to get it out of my system as much as I could, but mostly I just hid from the world and felt sorry for myself.

Finally I was cried out and self-pitied out and I just didn't have anything left to give.  I just felt tired.  I pushed myself to my feet and trudged back to the boys' dorm, which was kinda on the other end of the campus so it was a pretty long walk.  It was probably better that it was.  I wiped my eyes as best I could and went inside.

I saw Quantum coming out of the rec room as I was walking towards the elevator, and I felt a little surge of fear for a nano.  He glanced over at me and pointed.  "Enzo.  Right?"

"Yeah." I rasped, hiding my face.  "Hi."

"Hey."  He didn't say anything else, just stared at me kinda thoughtfully as I was waiting for the elevator and even a little bit as I was riding up to the third floor.  It made me nervous, but I felt so beat down that I didn't even care after a nano.  As soon as I got off the elevator he was out of my processor.

I walked into the room and Linux was sitting cross-legged on his bed, looking at his organizer.  He looked up at me and didn't smile.  "Hey.  Have fun?"

"Yeah, it was OK." I said softly.  Maybe he was a little mad at me.  I kicked off my boots and laid down on the bed and closed my eyes.  After a milli or so I rolled over and opened them, and saw my organizer flashing on my desk.  "What's that?"

"You got an assignment downloaded." Linux said.  "Homework.  I got a couple too."

"Oh." I sighed.  I let it blink for a nano, then sat up and grabbed it. 

"Hey Dude – you OK?"

I looked up, surprised.  "Huh?"

"You OK?"  You don't look too good."

For some reason hearing him say that made we want to cry again but I held it off, thank the User.  "Yeah, thanks.  I'm….  Fine."

"Bob left, huh?"

"Yeah." I whispered.

He smiled.  "Sorry.  You gonna be all right?"

"Yeah.  Yeah!  I…  I'm sorry I didn't ask you to come with us tonight, I…  It was his last night and everything-"

"Dude – that's OK.  No big deal."  He came over and sat next to me.  "You've never been away before, huh?"

"No.  Never."

"It's different with my Dad – he hardly notices I'm gone.  But I miss my Mom – and my big brother.  It gets easier though."

"Yeah?" I whispered.

"Sure, promise.  Just hang in, OK?"

"Thanks."

"NP."

"Remember…  Remember our promise, OK?"

"Yeah.  Definitely."  He punched me on the shoulder.  "The only thing you've gotta worry about is surviving Mouse's class."

"Thanks!" I giggled.  "Thanks…"

"Sure.  You gonna check out your assignment or what?"

"Yeah." I sighed.  "In a few.  I'm gonna go grab a shower first." 

"Cool.  Hang in there."

"I will."  I punched him back and managed a grin, and headed for the showers feeling just a little better.  Bob was gone, but in a way I wasn't alone – there were a lot of other kids here in the same file as me, more or less.  I wondered if any of them felt as lonely and afraid as I did, though…

By the time I got back to the room Linux was already asleep – too much stress and too little sleep the night before, just like me.  I was about ready to bail myself – it had been an exhausting cycle, and crying always wears me out anyways.  But I downloaded the homework assignment first and felt a little proud of myself for being so mature.  It was easy – just a chapter in the games recognition manual.  I read it and set the organizer aside, and deleted the light.

Weary as I was, it took a long time for me to fall asleep.  I kept thinking of Bob and Dot, so far away they might as well have been in a different net.  I thought of them playing with Mac and laughing and smiling and it was a little too much for me.  I buried my face in my pillow and tried to think of anything else so I could sleep.  When I woke up, I'd be truly on my own – I'd be responsible for myself at last.  Wasn't that what I'd wanted all along – to be treated as a grown-up?  Now that I'd finally gotten there I wasn't so sure…

  
  
  


  
  



	6. Dangerous Games

I had a little bit of a hard time concentrating on my classes the next morning.

I don't want it to sound like I was bored with the Academy after one cycle – I definitely wasn't.  And I wanted so badly to be able to bear down and concentrate at will, whenever I needed – heck, Bob has been teaching me concentration exercises since I was 0.1.  But my processor still has a tendency to shoot off at breakneck speed whenever and wherever it wants – it's like a way for it to remind me I'm still a little kid whenever I get too confident in myself.

At first, my head still felt a little muzzy from all of the emotion I'd put myself through the night before, sorta like Matrix the cycle after one too many I/O shots.  Then, once I'd shaken that off a little, Bob and Dot started to creep into my head at a nano's notice.  I'd be sitting in class trying to concentrate, and then all of a sudden I'd see them – and they always looked happy and content, and I was never in the picture.  That wasn't easy to ignore right away – I'd have to actively try and push them out of there so I could get back to thinking about class.

That pretty much took me through my first two classes – which were game recognition and creative writing.  Yes, I know what you're thinking – but even now the Academy still made a commitment that they were gonna give the kids there a general education and not just a Guardian one.  Unfortunately.  What that meant was that we had to suffer through some classes like writing and algebra and COBOL programming to get to the good ones like fighting viruses and defending games and kicking bitmap generally.  The only good thing is that most of those classes were in hour one.

There – see?  I did it again!  My processor took me off in a totally different direction than I started out – I was supposed to be talking about my concentration on that second cycle of classes.  Anyways, by the end of my second class I was getting generally frustrated with myself and I was glad the third one was physical conditioning.  Getting out in the fresh air and running and jumping around sounded like a pretty good idea.

Right as we were doing our stretching exercises an idea started to form itself in my head.  I had lunch at the same time as yesterday.  If I went to the same mess at the same time and sat at the same table, maybe she'd be there again.  Maybe we could even make it a regular thing – have lunch together every cycle and talk about our classes and stuff.  That'd be so cool!

"Mister Matrix?  Am I disturbing you?"

I looked up and felt my face go red.  "What?"

Mr. Bernoulli was staring at me, and he didn't look happy.  All of a sudden I realized I was by myself.  "The rest of us are running laps, Mister Matrix – perhaps you can find time in your busy schedule to join us?"  A huge laugh went up from the rest of the group, who were already almost halfway down the field.

I bounced to my feet and stared hard at the ground, feeling my cheeks burning.  "Yes Sir!  Sorry, Sir!  I…  I was-"

"Perhaps you'll also find time to run an extra lap, Cadet – that would be three for you."

"Yes, Sir!"  I sprinted to catch up with the rest of the group, who were still chuckling.  I avoided making eye contact with anyone and just followed along behind the pack, but after I finished the first lap I was already starting to wish for that energy I'd had to spend catching up.  It really wasn't fair – I had to make a bunch of extra strides every time around that field because my legs were so much shorter than a lot of the other kids.  But they weren't about to slow down, so I had no choice but to keep up.  This part of the Academy wasn't going to be getting any easier for a while.  By the end of my second lap I was really sucking wind.

It got worse, though – I still had an extra lap to do because I'd gone basic at the beginning.  So not only did I have to run another circuit of that field – which was a pretty deleted big field – but I had to do it with _everyone_ watching me and I felt every pair of eyes, believe me.  It was nasty.

There was no way I was gonna give up on that lap – absolutely no way, not with everyone watching.  I was tired and my chest was burning but I was determined not to give up in front of _them_.  Every step seemed to last a minute but I was getting there, little by little.  When I'd wound my way around again I was running by the others, who were sprawled out on the grass, watching me.  Most of them were laughing or heckling me or ignoring me altogether.  That's when I saw her.

She was in my phys ed class – I suppose I should've known it from yesterday, but it didn't occur to me until I saw her golden hair shining in the daylight.  She wasn't laughing – she saw me looking at her and smiled.  I shook the sweat out of my eyes and tried to smile back as best I could.  I kept eye contact with her as long as I could without it looking freaky, then I finally turned back to the world in front of me and realized I'd finished my penalty lap at last.  I put my hands on my knees and wheezed for all I was worth.

"Thank you very much for endorsing the program, Mister Matrix.  Now – everyone please follow me to the weight room, and I'll introduce you to some of the training equipment we have at our disposal.  And Mister Matrix – _today_, if you would?"  Another laugh from the crowd.  I was really beginning to dislike Mr. Bernoulli.

I looked for her as I panted for breath, following the other kids inside to the weight rooms, but she was lost in the jumble of gangly arms and legs and giggling faces.  Being around so many kids in such close quarters was definitely a little scary, and the thought of trying to keep up with the big guys on weight machines was even scarier.  It wasn't so bad on that first cycle, though – Mr. Bernoulli mostly just showed us the various training machines and how they worked.

The worst part was afterwards.  I was super-sweaty from all that sprinting and if my plan worked, I would be sitting next to the teal girl in a few millis.  That was _not_ good.  If it'd been a light workout like yesterday that'd be OK, but…  There were showers near the weight rooms but they'd be packed with kids.  That was even worse.

So I did the only thing I could and made a dash for the boys' dorms, and hoped there'd be no one else in _those_ showers when I got there.  I 'booted out of my clothes and set my icon down on the bench in the stall farthest from the door, and took the quickest, scariest shower of my life up till then.  I lucked out – no one else showed up and I managed to get dried and dressed and outside with more than half of my lunch break still left.

I ran to the great hall as fast as I dared without breaking into a sweat again, but it wouldn't have mattered – as soon as I saw her I started sweating anyways.  She was sitting by herself – there were a couple of other kids at the table but she didn't seem to be talking to them.  She was totally focused on her lunch, just like she'd been the cycle before.  I grabbed a tray and got some food – I hardly paid attention to what I was ordering – and started towards her table.

A funny thing happened then – I was walking towards her sorta sidelong, and my legs all of a sudden stopped working.  I stood there for a couple of nanos, just frozen, but I couldn't seem to get my feet to take another step.  The only part of me moving was my hands – I could tell they were shaking because I was sure I was gonna spill my energy shake.

I really, really hated myself at that nano.  I wanted so badly to go over there, to talk to her – but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.  I was absolutely frozen in terror.  I just kept thinking over and over how pathetic I was, and I don't know how long I stood there but I bet it wasn't as long as it seemed.  It _couldn't_ have been.

I just about managed to convince myself to walk away – a small victory at best.  I looked down at my feet, cursed myself, and started to turn.  That's when I heard her voice.  "Hey!"

I looked up, astonished.  She'd glanced up from her tray and she was smiling at me.  "Hey." I managed to whisper, but I don't see how she could possibly have heard me.

She just smiled some more.  "Just get here?"  I nodded dumbly.  "C'mon, sit down."

"Uh…  Sure." I managed, and tried to return her smile.  I walked over towards her, slowly and deliberately 'cause I was honestly worried I'd trip over myself and fall on my face.  I set my tray down on the table and sat on the chair to her right.  "Thanks."

"For what?"

"Oh!  Um – asking to me uh, sit."

"Sure." She giggled.  She returned her attention to her lunch, which was about half-finished.  I looked down at mine and forgot for a nano what I was supposed to do with it.  When I finally remembered I was scared about how to eat it without looking like a slob or something, but I figured it would look even weirder if I didn't eat at all.  So even though my stomach felt like it had a squad of ABCs doing maneuvers in it I started eating. 

As soon as my mouth was good and full she looked over at me and grinned.  "You were funny in Bernoulli's class today."

I looked back at her, realized my mouth was hanging open and full of food, and chewed and swallowed as best I could.  My throat felt like it was about as wide as my pinkie.  "Uh…  Thanks.  I guess…"

"What happened?"

I winced.  "I…  I dunno.  I get – distracted, I guess.  Sometimes.  I'm basic…"

"No!" she chuckled.  "It was funny, that's all.  You were cute!"

I turned about a thousand shades redder than Mouse's hair, I'm sure of it.  "Thanks."

"I'm Lisa, by the way."  I smiled, and she just stared at me for a few nanos.  Lisa.  Finally, she coughed.  "And _you_ are…"

D'oh!  Could I _be_ any stupider?  "Sorry!  I'm…  Enzo."

"Hey, Enzo."  She smiled sort of slyly at me and took another bite of her food.  She waited until my mouth was full again – I dunno if she was doing it on purpose, but she was _good_ at it – and spoke again.  "Haven't you ever talked to a girl before?"

Was it that obvious?  I swallowed another bite of food that felt like a zip board going down my gullet.  "Sure!  L-lots of times."  I tried a smile.  "No.  Not really.  Sort of…"

"Why not?"

"Uh…  That's a really long story."

"Well – maybe later, then.  I'm sure we'll talk lots more." She grinned.  "Cutie."

"Oh!" I gasped.  She didn't _seem_ like she was making fun of me…  "You…  Um – you're really cute too." I blurted out.

"Thanks.  That's very sweet."

"Uh – welcome…"

"How old are you, Enzo?"

"Er – 1.3.  How about you?"

"1.4.  I'll be 1.5 in 15 minutes."

"Oh, that's cool."  It didn't make a lot of difference what she said, I was just enjoying being next to her.  Still, it was nice knowing she wasn't 1.9 or something.

"How come you're here so young?"

I wiped my brow with my sleeve, hoping she wouldn't notice.  "My…  My friend Bob.  He made me a Guardian when I was 1.0, and I've kinda been waiting to come ever since.  He's sorta like my stepdad."

"Wow – that's really graphical!  So you're an old hand at all this huh?"

"No!" I said too loudly.  "I…  Bob is great and everything, but it's not the same.  Not like here."  I shrugged and smiled.  "I'm just trying to figure stuff out."

"Don't worry – I'm sure you will."  She grinned and held out her hand.  "It was nice to meet you, Enzo – I'll definitely see you around, OK?"

I stared at her hand for a nano, mustering the courage to touch it.  I finally did, and it was wonderful – smooth and soft and cool, not all clammy and sweaty like mine.  I finally looked up at her smiling face.  "Yeah.  I hope so."

She gently extracted her hand, which I'd neglected to return to her, and stood up.  "Gotta get to class.  Maybe I'll see you here tomorrow?"

"Yeah!"

"OK."  She giggled.  "Bye, Cutie."

"Uh…  Bye."  I stared after her and she waved at me as she dumped her tray.  I watched her all the way out of the mess hall and then, when she was gone, I spent the rest of my lunch break staring at my hand with a dumb smile on my face.

I admit I started out the rest of the day in a kind of fog.  I hadn't exactly been as smooth as Bob, but I'd managed to survive my lunch break without any major catastrophes.  Better still, I'd actually spoken a couple of coherent sentences to the teal girl, and I even knew her name now – Lisa.  It was a pixelacious name, too.  Of course, maybe she could have told me her name was Nullzilla and I would've liked it.

Fortunately things started to get really interesting that afternoon – we had a session with the game simulator and it was totally alphanumeric.  It wasn't exactly like _being_ in a game, or even exactly like Bob described the one at the old Academy.  There was a sort of helmet thingie and a suit and gloves you put on, and a digital representation of yourself was on the visor on your helmet.  If you let yourself get into it a little bit you could almost forget it wasn't you up there, only a simulation.  I felt good using it, comfortable – the stuff Bob had taught me stayed with me and I felt for the first time like I really belonged here.  I was home.

Of course we had to take the helmets and stuff off and we were back in the real world, and I was back to being the littlest sprite around again.  But I had Lisa fighting for space in my processor now and that made a nice change from worrying about that, and feeling homesick.  I was still worried and homesick plenty that cycle – just not every waking nano.

I thought real hard about talking to Linux about the teal girl that night, but I decided against it.  On the one file I wanted us to be friends and friends talked to each other about stuff like that – but on the other hand I didn't want to seem like a dork.  Me and Lisa had barely talked and besides, Linux didn't seem like he was all that much of an expert on girls anyway, and we hadn't known each other that long.  Some stuff I was gonna have to figure out on my own.

So anyway, Linux probably thought I was pretty basic that night – I was definitely distracted.  Eventually we started talking about other stuff, though, like our classes and his Mom and Dot and I got into having that conversation with someone my own age.  He told me a dirty joke and I laughed, and we even had a belching contest, which was totally alphanumeric.  You wouldn't believe how hard it is to get someone in Mainframe interested in a belching contest.  I think they're all worried about Dot finding out and giving them the look.  AndrAIa's the king, though – she's the master belcher when she wants to be.

So all in all, it was a pretty good night – but then things got a little weird again.  We went to bed at lights out and I actually fell asleep pretty quick for a change, 'cause I was still pretty tired.  I have no idea what time it was – I never checked my internal clock – but sometime that night I had a dream.

I dream every night – I guess sprites always do, or so Dot says.  But this dream was different – it was about Lisa, and it wasn't a nice dream.  I mean – it _was_ a nice dream, but it wasn't a _nice_ dream, if you know what I mean.  It was the sort of dream Bob had told me about when we had our talk, back in Mainframe.

It totally freaked me out - I'd never had a dream like that before.  I'd had dreams about AndrAIa, but they were different.  Mostly they were just about her face, and how incredibly beautiful and nice and cool she is.  They were nice, and I always remembered them the next cycle for a while and they made me smile.  This was different.

I was pretty sure I'd cried out in my dream, and I looked over at Linux because I was terrified he'd woken up.  But he hadn't – he was still snoring softly like he usually did once he fell asleep.  That was something, at least.  But I lay awake for a long time afterwards before I could fall asleep again.  My processor was running in turbo mode and my body was tingling all over.  It was exciting, but it was scary, too.  It hadn't been a little kid's dream.  I felt like something had changed, for sure, and that was the exciting and scary part.

There was a big part of me that was angry at myself for thinking about Lisa like that.  It made me feel basic.  I was also worried about facing her the next cycle – would she know?  Would it show in my face?  At some level of my code I knew it really wasn't my fault – I couldn't help thinking she was beautiful.  I couldn't help thinking about her, _period_.  Bob had tried to warn me about this stuff as best he could, but now that it was actually happening it was still very weird to deal with.

I made a real conscious effort to bear down in class the next morning, and it was easier than I thought – I guess my processor was ready for a break from thinking about Lisa all the time.  I managed to get through my first two classes OK and I even got called on to demonstrate a problem in games identification, and I did fine.  Next was phys con, which was my only every-cycle class.  I started to mentally wander a little because lunch was next, and that meant seeing Lisa – but after the cycle before I wasn't gonna let myself be embarrassed by Mr. Bernoulli again.

I was working on one of the weight machines, this thing were you have a bar behind your head resting on your shoulders and you have to lift as much weight as you can.  It's supposed to strengthen the muscles in your shoulders and arms, and I guess I could sure use that.  I was scared the others would make fun of me because – obviously – I couldn't lift as much as the big kids.  Mr. Bernoulli set up the machine for me and I just concentrated on doing as many reps as possible, and that's when something cool happened.

"WARNING – INCOMING GAME

WARNING – INCOMING GAME"

It wasn't the first game since I'd been at the Academy, but this one was cool because _I_ was on the game roster.  I was on call – this was my game!  And what was even better was that Ray was the teacher on call – I didn't have any classes with him for the first quarter so I hadn't seen as much of him as I wanted.  Plus, I'd never seen Ray in a game before.  "Mr. Bernoulli – that's me!  Can I-"

"Go, go!" he waved me out.  "You don't have to ask permission when you're on call.  Hurry up, now!"

I leaped up off the machine and headed outside.  The cube was coming down towards the town, at the edge of campus, and I hopped on my zip board and headed out that way.  I rebooted into my uniform and looked around – the others were converging on the cube, same as me.  It was an incredible feeling – I was at the Academy, in full uniform, heading for a game with my team.  Nothing could ever equal the emotion of going into games with Bob – but this was pretty alphanumeric.

We gathered under the descending cube and I recognized one face among the students – Quantum.  I felt a little knot in my stomach seeing him, and he chuckled when he saw me staring at him.  "You got training discs on that zip board, Sprout?"

"End file!" Ray said sharply.  "Sound off before we get started, left to right.  Go!"

"Cadet Matrix reporting, Sir!"

"Cadet Patch reporting, Sir!"  It was a red-haired girl about Linux' age, I guess – presumably another first-hour.

"Quantum."

"Calisto, Sir."  A guy about Quantum's age, taller and thinner.

"Right." Ray nodded.  The cube was on us, and the familiar feeling of energy dancing over my skin washed over me.  I opened my eyes and we were standing inside a gloomy-looking forest, thick with trees and moss.  Ray smiled at Patch.  "First game, Cadet?"

"Yes, Sir!"  She sounded a little nervous.

"No worries – just relax and pay attention."  Ray grinned at me.  "Not the first one for you, is it Lad?"

"No, Sir."

"Not by a long ways.  Right, Mates – Quantum and Calisto know, but I'll repeat it for you two – the number one rule around here is teamwork.  We work together and win the game quick as thieves, right?"

"Yes Sir!"

"Number two rule is – listen to me at all times.  We don't have arguments in games – when I give an order you follow it immediately.  That clear?"

"Yes, Sir!"

"Good.  We don't have the luxury of a keytool so we have to rely on our wits.  Everyone – reboot!"

It was a fairly standard sword and sorcerer type game – something about tossing a ring into a volcano.  Nothing I hadn't been through with Bob and Matrix a dozen times before.  It was amazing, though – being in there with the other cadets totally changed the format.  We all had to look out for each other, and I noticed that Ray stayed out of the way as much as possible.  I guess he was trying to let us figure stuff out for ourselves, which was cool.  It was hard not to treat him like a friend, but I knew that in there, it was the wrong thing to do.

I didn't particularly like my character – I was short (naturally) and I had no shoes and hairy feet.  It'd be nice to reboot taller once in a while, but it was OK – I got to hold the ring, which was a really important job.  We ran a gamut of orcs and goblins and other foul-smelling creatures trying to kill us, but we managed all right.  Quantum had rebooted as a pixelacious warrior with a sword, and the stubble on his face was even thicker his real stubble – so he looked even older than usual.  He kicked ascii with that sword – I'd have hated to have to fight him.  That was a vaguely disturbing thought.

Calisto had 'booted as a warrior too, and Patch was a small creature like me with hairy feet.  Ray was a wizard of some kind – he wore a gray robe and had a full gray beard and mustache.  I giggled when I saw him, which I knew was pretty unprofessional but I couldn't help it.  "Something amusing, Cadet Matrix?"

I blushed, but he didn't seem mad – he was smiling.  "No, Sir.  Sorry Sir!"  It wasn't fair – none of them _knew_ Ray like me – they didn't get how funny it was!  Oh, well.  Like I said, he mostly stayed out of the way – he provided light with his staff when we were in a cave, and read some runes when none of us could.  But mostly he wanted us to figure stuff out for ourselves – he was a little like Bob that way.

The only kinda bad thing was that as a little guy – even littler than usual – I didn't get a chance to do much except _be_ the guy holding the ring.  That was important – but it felt like the others were looking after me, and I'd had more than enough of that in my life already.  So when the opportunity came for me to get into the action, I was desperate to take advantage of it.

I was carrying a small sword but I hadn't had a chance to use it yet.  It had some sort of magical powers – it glowed blue every time these evil guys would get close to us.  Unfortunately before they got _too_ close Quantum and Calisto had an annoying habit of chopping them into a zillion little pieces.  But when the User finally showed up, he wasn't the sort of opponent a warrior can take out easily with brute force – he was a slimy, sneaky little guy who wanted to steal the ring from me.  I spotted him before anyone else did, hiding in some bushes waiting to get the jump on us.

I pretended I didn't see him, and I didn't tell anyone else he was there.  Then, just as we were walking past the bush where he was hiding, I whipped the sword out and skewered him good.  It was infinitely alphanumeric – unfortunately, he had multiple lives and the game just kept right on going.  The others were pretty impressed, though.

A few millis later we came across him again, hiding in some rocks.  I saw him and shouted out just at the last nano, as he was getting ready to jump on us.   Quantum was getting ready to dispatch him, but I shouted for him to stop.  "Why?" he growled.

"We don't know how many lives he has left – he might have twenty, for all we know.  Why not win the game the other way – by getting inside the volcano and destroying the ring?"

"So what?  Why not kill him anyway?  We can still keep marching…"

"Yeah – but he knows the way inside.  And it's guarded by like a billion orcs and stuff."

"What?" Calisto protested.  "How do _you_ know?"

That was a little awkward – I was very nervous about looking cocky in front of the others, but I also wanted to show that I could help win the game, and do it quicker.  "Uh – I've played this one before.  With Bob…"

"He's lying!" Calisto laughed.  "Trying to show off."

"No!  It's the truth!"

Ray frowned at me.  "It's true, Mate?  You've played this game with the Guardian?"

"You know I wouldn't lie, Ra-…  Sir!"  I looked at him, pleading.

"OK…  We'll try it your way, Kiddo.  If you can get him to lead us inside, so be it."

"Pixelacious!"  I took my sword out and held it to the User's throat.  "You know the way – take us inside the mountain or I'll kill you.  Slowly.   And I'll enjoy it."

"Yesss!  Yesss!  Take you, I will!"  He was a creepy little guy – all slithery and slimy.  He smelled bad, too – but he really did know the way inside the volcano.  I knew exactly how this was gonna work – he'd pretend to be cooperating with us, and all the time he'd be looking for a way to trick us and steal the ring.  I wasn't gonna let that happen – I'd seen it before.

We ran into a few dangers along the way, but Quantum and Calisto dealt with them pretty easily while I kept an eye on the User.  Quantum stared at me sometimes, and I couldn't figure out of he was mad at me or not.  But he didn't say another word to me for the rest of the game.

At the heart of the game world there's this massive volcano, and that's where we'd been heading the whole time.  There was a tunnel that led inside the mountain, but like I'd told the others it was heavily guarded – all kinds of weird ugly creatures with scary-looking weapons were outside, and my sword was glowing as bright as you can imagine.  That's when the User decided he wasn't going any farther.

"Just tell him you'll kill him." Calisto sighed.  He sounded very exasperated.

"No farther.  Too many…  We all die, they take ring!  Yesss…" the little guy hissed.  Everything he said was a hiss.  He didn't care about us dying, obviously – or even himself.  What he didn't want was to lose control of the ring.

"We can fight our way through them." Quantum sneered.

"No.  All die."  The User pointed at me and Patch.  "Little Onesss, yesss…  Little onesss can sneak inside with Gollum.  Very quiet, very sssmall, yesss…"

Ray looked at me expectantly.  I nodded.  "Trust me."  When I was little it was the sort of thing I'd have been tempted to do on my own – just go off with the User and not even wait for permission.  But Bob had been training that out of me for hours, and we were supposed to be all about teamwork in the Academy.  So I wasn't going until Ray said so.  

"Right – Enzo and Patch, go with…  _Him_.  We'll watch your backs as best we can."

"Cool!  Thanks."

"This is basic!" Calisto scowled.

"Go on."  I pointed my sword at the User.  "Lead the way."

"Yess…"  The User cast a disdainful look at the others and started off through the rocks, away from the mass of soldiers at the main entrance.  "Sssecret places, Gollum knowsss sssecret placesss.  Very sssafe…"

Patch and I crouched a few paces behind him, keeping hidden as well as we could.  "Enzo…" Patch whispered.  "What if they catch us?  What if he rats us out?"

"He won't.  If we get caught, he loses the ring – and the whole point for him is to get the ring.  That's the trap he's in.  He'll get us inside."

"But – he's the User!  He can't win the game by helping us!"

"Oh, he'll try and kill us – once we're inside.  But I know what to watch for – I'll be expecting it."

"You…  You really have played this game before, huh?"

"Course!" I grinned.  "I wouldn't lie about something like that.  C'mon – he's getting too far ahead."

"Come! Come!"  The User hissed impatiently.  "Mussst hurry!  Many bad creaturesss about.  Very bad…  Mussst get insside the mountain sssoon!"  He led us to the side of the volcano, close enough to the tunnel entrance that we could see the glow from the torchlight.  There was a large boulder there, and the little creature shoved it aside with a mighty grunt.  He was stronger than he looked.  There was a little rip in the ground where the boulder had been.  "Ssside tunnel!  Leadsss inssside!  Come!"

"Wait!" I whispered.  "Patch first – go through and have your sword ready.  Then the User, me last."   I reached into my knapsack and pulled out a stone, which emitted a whitish glow, and handed it to Patch.  Yet another advantage of having been here before.  "Elvish – magic!  It'll be dark in there.  Go."

"Enzo-"

"Go on!  Trust me, please."  Patch looked at me worriedly, then slipped through the hole in the ground and disappeared.  I held the User back with my sword for a few nanos, then motioned him to follow.  Then I waited.

After a micro or two I knelt down by the hole and called softly.  "Patch?  You OK?"

"Yeah!  I'm inside.  I…  I've got him guarded."

"Be careful!"  I crawled into the hole after them, and after a few nanos of uncomfortable worming around on my tummy I was inside the mountain, in a dark passageway.  I could see the User and Patch in the white light of my stone, her sword at his slimy throat.  Off to our right there was another glow – this one a bloody red.  That was from the pit of fire where we had to destroy the ring.

"Sssafe!  Inssside, yesss?  Gollum hasss done well, Bagginsss!"

"Yeah – you did real good.  Now – lead us to the pit of fire."

"But Enzo-"

"Shhh!"  I motioned her to follow me, and we fell in a few steps behind the User, who led us down the tunnel towards the bloody glow.  As we walked the glow got brighter and brighter, the air got hotter and hotter, and the stink got worse.  We made a bunch of turns and went down a bunch of side passages and finally, the tunnel opened up into a broad cavern, bright red with the glow of the lava, and we could see dark shapes moving around inside.

The User took a look at us, his eyes glinting, and then in a flash he was gone – up the wall of the cavern.  "Enz-"

"Shhh!"  I hissed, and pulled Patch down behind a pile of rocks.  "He did that last time.  Don't worry."

"But – how do we get to the pit?  There's… _things_ in there!"

"I know."  I smiled at her, remembering what it was like the first time I'd been in a game with Bob and Dot.  I slipped off my sword, glowing blue – too much glow - and set it down next to her.  "Don't worry – everything's gonna be OK.  Promise me something?"

"What?"

"No matter what happens, don't cry out – and don't come out of hiding.  If they see you, they'll delete you – and even if we win, you'll stay deleted!"

"But…  How will you-"

"Just promise, OK?  No matter what, you stay quiet and hide."

"I…  I guess so.  What're you going to do?"  

"Trust me.  I don't believe in the no-win scenario."  I smiled what I hoped was reassuringly, and slipped the ring on my finger.  I heard her gasp, but I have to give her credit – she didn't say anything when I disappeared.  I slipped into the cavern and started towards the pit of fire, trying to make as little noise as possible.

The creatures in there sensed me – they did as soon as I put the ring on.  But they couldn't _see_ me, and if I destroyed the ring fast enough they wouldn't be able to find me in time.  I trotted on my tiptoes across the cavern until I was close enough to the edge of the pit that I could reach it with a good toss.  The creatures circled, coming a little bit closer, sniffing the air.  I reached for the ring.

"Enzo!" 

I heard Patch scream, but I was already looking up, expecting it.  The User was flying across the cavern towards me in a leap that would've been impossible for any normal sprite.  His jaws were wide open and his teeth were glinting, and he was aiming for my hand.  At the last nano I spun and dove out the way and jerked the ring off my finger just as I heard him crash into the rocky floor.

The creatures saw me just as soon as I took the ring off, of course – and a roar echoed in the cavern.  I reared back and whipped the ring towards the pit, as hard as I could.  The User screamed and leapt after it, bouncing off the floor like he had springs in his legs.  He kept screaming as he followed it over the side of the pit and down, echoing in the cave.  "Precioussss!"

The creatures were descending on me, swords drawn, and I cowered back and covered my head.  I'd had to leave my sword, of course, but it wouldn't have done me much good.  Then I heard two of my favorite words…

"GAME OVER"

Patch came running towards me so fast I thought she was gonna tackle me for a nano.  She knelt next to me and put her hands on my shoulders.  "Enzo!  Are you OK?"

I almost said "Sure, Dot!" just out of habit, but I stopped myself.  I bounced to my feet.  "Pixelacious.  And _you_ broke your promise!"

"Sorry!" she grinned.  "You were right – you had the whole thing figured out."

"Sometimes you get lucky."

"Cadets – everyone online and processing?"  The others were trotting up to us.

"Sure, Ray – no worries."  A little slip on my part, but I didn't catch it until after the fact.  

Ray didn't seem to mind.  "Looks like you had this one pegged, Enzo – but it sure wasn't any fun not seeing what you kids were up to in there!"

"Sorry!"

"Well – good job Mates, both of you.  All of you.  If you've got game experience use it, I always say - next best thing to having a keytool."

"Unbelievable." Quantum chuckled, shaking his head.

"Bet you enjoyed showing off in there, huh Sprout?" Calisto spat.

"I was just trying to win the game-"

Patch ventured in.  "Hey – leave him alone!  He-"

"Enough of that!" Ray barked, silencing the three of us.  "Teamwork, remember?  We got the job done, and everyone had a part in it, right?"  He looked around expectantly.  "_Right_?"

"Yes, Sir!"

"That's what I like to hear, Mates.  Now scat – back to class, all of ya.  Go!"  Quantum zipped off, still shaking his head, and Calisto slowly walked after him, staring daggers at me.  It made my skin crawl.  Ray patted me on the shoulder and headed off towards the staff apartments.

"Sorry I yelled out like that – I couldn't help it, when I saw the User jumping at you-"

"No biggie." I grinned, and we started off at a slow walk.  "You did great in there."

"I was basic.  But it was my first game, maybe I'll get better…"

"Sure.  But don't worry so much.  Games are pretty easy once you get the hang of them, and they're really fun."

"You've been in a lot of them, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess.  Bob's been taking me into games since I was-  Oof!"  I fell back on my bitmap, after a hard shove on the chest.  It was Calisto – I guess he doubled back after Ray was out of sight.

"Hey!" Patch shouted.

"Shut up."

I pushed myself to my feet, trying to settle my nerves.  "Just leave me alone, OK?"

"Trying to use your friend Bob to get you a little tail, huh?  Not enough he got you into the Academy?"

"Stop it!" I growled.

"Some of us had to work to get in here.  But you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

"Hey – Enzo was great in that game!  He-"

"It's easy if you cheat."

"I didn't cheat."  I was scared and angry, but I was trying to control myself.  "Knowing how to play a game isn't cheating."

"They should never have let a soft-boy like you in here – it perverts the whole place!  If you weren't in with Guardian 452 they'd have laughed in your face."

"You don't know me!  You don't know how hard I worked to come here!"

"Save it, Infant.  It's gonna be fun watching you wash out the nano things get rough around here.  And they're gonna get plenty rough."

"I've had it plenty rough already!" I shouted, feeling angry tears welling up.  "Rougher than you!  I-"

"Infant.  Talk to me when they drop, all right?"

I didn't know exactly what he meant but I had a vague idea – and it didn't do too much for my mood.  "Hey!  Just shut up!"  I gave him a two-handed shove as hard as I could, but he barely budged.

"You want some?"  He pushed me on my bitmap again, and took a step towards me, raising his arm.

"Is there a _problem_ here?"  Ray had appeared again, as if from nowhere.  I rolled onto my feet again.

"No problem, Sir." Calisto said softly.  He turned and took out his zip board.

"Did I say you were dismissed, Cadet?"

"No Sir.  Sorry Sir."

"Now I'll ask again – is there a problem here?"

Calisto and Patch and I all stared at each other in turn.  "No problem." I said softly.

"No, Sir." Patch agreed, hesitantly.

"There _better_ not be.  Fighting is not allowed here, boys – do I make myself clear?  You want to fight, save it for Daemon.  I don't want to hear about any nonsense, Mates.  If I do, the consequences will be very severe.  Am I understood?"

"Understood, Sir."

"Yes, Sir.  Am I dismissed now, Sir?"

Ray looked Calisto up and down, a little distastefully, and sighed.  "Yeah.  Go.  But remember what I said, Lad – if I hear about any nonsense from you two your bitmap is toast."

"Yes, _Sir_."  Calisto turned and zipped off, leaving Ray, Patch and me alone at the edge of campus.  I realized I'd been holding my breath and exhaled deeply.

"Where'd you come from?  I thought you left!" Patch said wonderingly.

"You don't survive a life of web surfing by being basic, Cadet.  Keeping you nippers safe is my number one job, now."  He knelt in front of me.  "You OK, Enzo?  Nothing broken?"

"I'm fine."  I hastily wiped my cheeks and tried to smile.  I'd just been in my first real-life fight – sort of.  It hadn't exactly gone well – I didn't even wanna think what would've happened if Ray hadn't come back.  Calisto was a big kid – if he'd wanted to hurt me I'm not sure I could've stopped him.

"You sure?"

"Yeah.  Thanks…  Sir."

"That guy is a total null!"  Patch fumed.  "He's just pissed because Enzo won that game instead of him!"

"We _all _won that game, Lass.  And watch the language." Ray sighed.  "Enzo, I meant what I said – fighting isn't allowed in here.  It's a strictly zero tolerance."

"I don't want to fight anybody.  I just wanna be left alone." I said softly.

"I know."  He turned to Patch.  "Head on off to class now, Cadet – I need a nano with Matrix here.  And good job in that game – you'd never know it was your first one."

She glowed a little.  "Thank you, Sir.  Enzo, uh…  I guess I'll see you later."

"Yeah.  See ya."  She grinned and zipped off.  One good thing seemed to have cone out of the cycle – I had another friend.  I was beginning to sense that having allies was important in a place like the Academy.

As soon as she was out of sight Ray turned back to me.  "You really all right, Mate?"

"Yeah – I'm fine.  He didn't hit me or anything."  There was a part of me that wanted to be a little boy and hug him and everything, but I wasn't about to do that.

"Good.  I know you didn't start anything with that kid, Enzo – I know you well enough to know you don't start trouble.  But you watch yourself – if he starts something with you you'll _both_ get in the muck.  And I won't be able to keep you out."

"Ray, I…  I didn't do anything!  He-"

"I know Mate, I know.  But he might not just let this go – some guys aren't too keen on getting shown up by fellahs half their size.  And there's a lot of big guys here."

"But – I didn't show him up!  I just knew how to win that game – that's all!"

"Sure, Lad – and you did a helluva job in there, too.  But he didn't see it that way.  Just be careful – stand up for yourself if you have to but don't get into trouble you can avoid.  And I'll try and help you as much as I can, all right?"

"OK." I sighed.  It felt like the no-win scenario all over again for me.  "I'll try, Ray."

"Good lad."  He ruffled my hair.  "I know you, Enzo – you won't take recycle crap from anyone, and that's OK.  I'm not asking you to let yourself get pushed around – you never would anyways.  Do what you have to do and I'll do what I can."

"Thanks."  If guys the size of Calisto and Quantum were doing the pushing, I wasn't sure I was gonna have a choice.

"Good lad."  He straightened up and slapped me on the back.  "You really did a monster job in that game, Mate – you had it covered, no worries.  And you helped out Patch, too – good to know we've got a veteran like you in the midst.  We need all the experience we can get."

"I got lucky - Bob and I played that game before."

"Not luck, Mate – cool under pressure is what I call it."  He winked at me and gave me a playful shove.  "Get back to class, Kiddo – game ended millis ago, they'll miss you.  And let me know if you need me, right?  I'm here if you do."

"Thanks, Ray!"  I shot him a grateful smile and headed back for campus.  I could tell he was more worried about me than he was letting on – almost as worried as I was. 

I checked my chronometer.  That game had been a long one – my lunch break was almost over.  I was still feeling a little shaken up and thought maybe that missing Lisa wasn't such a bad thing – but there was a part of me that was ticked off too.  Not to mention I was gonna have to skip lunch.

I zipped over to the mess at the great hall, grabbed a couple of energy bars and headed for our table.  Lisa was there – I could spot her hair from across the hall  - but she'd already just about cleaned off her tray.  I sat next to her and smiled apologetically.  "Um – hey."

"Hey yourself.  I thought you were gonna stand me up there for a micro."

"Sorry!  I…  I was in that game cube.  I was on call and everything, I couldn't help it-"

"That's OK – I'm just teasing you!  I saw you dash out of the weight room like your hair was on fire!" she laughed, and patted my hand.  It felt like a thousand pixels were dancing over it.

"Oh!  Heh – yeah!  Good one…"

"You OK?  You seem a little out of breath."

"Yeah – fine.  Thanks." I sighed.  

"You sure?  Nothing bad happened in the game?"  She patted my hand again, and left her hand on top of it for a nano.

I stared down at our hands for a nano, frozen, then I forced my gaze upwards.  "No – everything's perfect."

"Well – good!" she smiled quizzically.  "I haven't been in a game yet – I'm still a little nervous about it."

"You'll do great.  You'll be alphanumeric."

"I'll assume that's a good thing.  I wish I had your confidence!  But not all of us have been going into games since we were 1.0."

"Uh…  I just... It's no big deal, really!"  I was breathing hard again, I could hear myself.  "You'll be fine."

"You're really nice.  Thank you." She grinned.  "My break is over – but I wanted to hear about your long story from yesterday."

"Oh!  Sorry.  Mine is too, I guess."

"You better eat your energy bars then, huh?"

"I guess!  Yeah…"

She stood up, and I followed.  "Next time you can tell me.  Have fun in your classes today, OK?"

"Yeah!  Thanks, you too."

She grinned and waved.  "Bye, Cutie!"  I wasn't able to muster a response beyond a grunt, but I did manage to almost wave back.  She laughed a little bit and walked off, and I followed her with my eyes until I couldn't see anymore and stood for a while staring even after that.  Then I realized the mess was almost empty and I was late for class, shoveled both energy bars into my mouth at the same time and zipped off as fast as I could. 

The rest of that cycle was pretty uneventful – as uneventful as anything could have seemed to me, under the circumstances.  Classes were mostly a process of feeling out at this stage – all of the first-hours were still a little nervous and trying to get their bearings.  I told Linux about the game during dinner, and he was suitably impressed – although I left out most of the details about what went down afterwards.

Linux and I headed down to the rec room after dinner and there were a few boys there, no one I really recognized.  I was a little jumpy being around other kids without any of the teachers around, especially after the game, but no one really bothered us.  We played a simulator for a while, then we sat down on the big couch they had and popped in a quicktime movie.  Linux and I pretty much had the same taste in movies, as it turned out – looks like Laser was right about us.  We put "Tommy Boy" in the drive and we were watching and laughing out asciis off for a while, no problem.

The movie was about half-over when I heard a familiar voice from behind me – Zip, the kid who'd been with Quantum that first dinner in the boys' mess.  "You wearing your diaper, Boy?  Some of us might want to sit on that couch later."

"Just ignore him." Linux whispered.  I felt my ears burning but I didn't look around.

I pretended to watch the movie for a few nanos, then I felt a hand shaking my shoulder.  "Hey!" Zip said.  "Didn't anyone tell you to answer when one of your betters asks you a question?"

"Leave me alone." I said softly.

"_That's_ original.  I asked you if you were wearing your diaper.  Well?"

"I'm going." I said to Linux.  "See you later."  I stood up and headed for the door.

"Hey!  Leaving so soon?  Aren't you gonna tell us some stories about Guardian 452?  C'mon!"  I just kept walking, down the hall and onto the elevator and upstairs to my room.  I felt like a null for running away like that, but I was still in a no-win situation.  I thought about what Ray said, but I couldn't find any way to make it work in real life.  How was I supposed to stand up for myself without fighting – and getting in trouble?  Not to mention beat up, probably.

I lay back on the bed and I was trembling, scared and angry at the same time.  I just didn't understand why anyone would want to pick on me like that – I'd never done anything to them.  I was used to being the smallest, but the big sprites in my life had never treated me that way – not even Matrix, even at first.  Well, not much.  It was a fear that had been in the dark places of my mind since I'd thought about coming to the Academy – and now it was happening.  I flipped over and buried my face in my pillow.

After a little while Linux came into the room, but I didn't look up at him.  "Hey."

"Hey." I answered through the pillow.  

I heard my desk chair squeak on the floor.  "You OK?"  

"I guess.  What happened to the movie?"

"Tommy Boy" isn't any fun to watch by yourself."  He didn't say anything for a while, and I didn't either.  Finally he slapped me on the shoulder.  "That null will get tired of you soon.  He'll leave you alone."

"I hope."  I rolled over on my side and looked at Linux.  "Crash it all!  Why do people have to be so basic?  I never did anything to him!"

"You know how big kids are." He sighed.

I felt a knot in my stomach.  "Uh…  Well, actually I don't.  There really aren't any other kids in Mainframe, so…"

"Dude – really?  How come?"

I stared at him for a moment, wondering how much I should say.  I didn't want him to think I was a freak or something.  "Um – remember what I said about my Dad?  How I didn't like to talk about it?"

"Yeah?"

I sighed.  "Most of the little sprites deleted at the same time he did."  That was as much detail as he needed to know.  "There was an…accident.  Real bad.  And afterwards, I was the only little sprite left in Mainframe."

Linux' eyes got real big.  "Dude!  You're kidding!"

"No – that's what happened."

"Oh, man – that's terrible.  So, like – the whole time you were growing up you didn't have any friends or anything?"

"Just the binomes I went to school with.  But that's not the same, y'know?  So no friends.  Um - until now…"

He smiled.  "Yeah."

"Guess you think I'm pretty weird now, huh?"

"Naw.  That's totally basic, though – I can't even imagine growing up all by myself like that."

I smiled.  "I had my sister.  And when Bob got there, it was better.  They were really great to me, Dude – they did everything they could.  But I guess it's not the same as being around other kids."

"I guess not."  He grinned tentatively.  "So - That's why you were so nervous, huh?  When we met and everything.  And when we saw other kids in the mess or something...  I just figured you were shy."

"Yeah."  I closed my eyes.

"That's cool, Enzo – you're doin' really good.  I mean – I know it's gotta be really tough and everything, but you're doing great."

"Thanks.  But what about Zip and those guys?  What if they won't leave me alone?"

He looked away.  "I dunno.  Sometimes kids are jerks for no good reason, just to be jerks. Stay out of his way as much as possible."

"Won't be easy."  I pounded my fist down on the bed, hard.  "Crash it all – I really wanted to punch that guy's display out!  But I was scared too.  He's so much bigger than I am, Linux!"  I could have been talking about Zip or Calisto, it didn't even matter which.

"I know, Enzo.  Just be cool, OK?  Don't let those nulls get to you.  Sooner or later they'll get tired of you and leave you alone.  Then they'll probably come after _me_."

"I hope.  About the leaving alone part, I mean."  I wanted to believe him, but at that nano I really didn't.

"C'mon – we need some music or something, it's dead in here."  He went over to his footlocker and pulled out a disc player and a carrying case.  "I got a bunch of alpha-numeric discs – let's have some noise!  What do you like?"

"Uh…"  That 'weird' alarm was going off in my head again.  "We didn't have that much contact with the net 'cause of Megabyte and Daemon and everything, so I don't know that many bands.  What've you got?"

"All kinds of stuff.  Talking Heads, Depeche Mode, Men Without Hats…  My big brothers showed me all kinds of cool bands when I was little.  Oh – this one's good!"  He popped a disc into his player and music filled the room, pretty loudly.

"Who's this?"

"Squeeze!  Ever heard of 'em?"

"No."

"'Cool for Cats'.  This absolutely rocks!" Linux grinned.

"High density." I grinned back.  He hopped onto his bed and we both lay back, listening to the music.

"Most of my friends back home think I'm a dork, listening to oldies music like this."

"I think its pixelacious."

"Yeah, me too!  Screw them!" We both laughed.  The music _was_ pretty awesome – I was totally getting into the beat, and even the lyrics were good.  I wondered if Bob knew how to play this stuff on his guitar.  Soon enough I'd forgotten about Zip and Calisto and I was totally into the music.  We listened for a long time – right up until lights out.  And I even fell asleep pretty easy – the night ended on a definite high.  I had no idea that the next cycle was gonna be one of the worst of my life.


	7. Hazed and Confused

To be honest, I don't remember much about the first part of the next cycle – it's kinda been crowded out of my processor by what happened afterwards.  Morning classes were mostly boring but not too bad, I did some more work on the weight machines and then I went to lunch.

Lisa was there, but there were a bunch of other kids already at the table by the time I got to the mess hall so we really didn't have a chance to talk very much.  We smiled at each other a lot and I still got a little quivery just from looking at her.  But I could be at the same table with her now and actually speak a few coherent sentences, which was progress, I guess.

Everyone looked at Mouse with a kind of awe in physical combat class after the last time, which I just thought was kinda funny.  She definitely had everybody's interest, that was obvious.  I remembered what Bob said and tried to pay really close attention in there, especially after the game and Calisto.  Mouse put her katana away and started us out on balance exercises – using your opponent's weight against them, that kinda thing.  It was interesting, but it was our first real class so we didn't go into too much detail.  I was the last one out again, just 'cause I liked to have a chance to share a smile with her without anyone noticing.  She winked at me and tousled my hair as I walked past her.

After my last class I went back to the room and hung out with Linux for a while, then we went downstairs and had dinner in the mess hall.  It was almost starting to become a routine, crazy as that sounded to me.  And after that I went upstairs – Linux went to the rec room but I skipped it.  I chilled out and did homework, and then at about twenty-six hundred I grabbed my stuff and headed for the showers.

Linux was cool and never asked me why I took showers at night.  Maybe he knew.  It sounds silly, but one of the scariest things for me about being at the Academy was having to change and take showers in front of other people.  It was never an issue in Mainframe, obviously – I had all the privacy I wanted with no other kids around.  But now everything was different.

See, everyone there was older than me.  I was still a little sprite, and the last thing in the net I wanted was all those big kids to see me without any clothes on.  The notion absolutely horrified me – I don't know if it's right to say I was ashamed, but I was definitely more than embarrassed.  Being seen by kids like me would be bad enough, never having had to worry about it before – but being seen by older kids who were so much more, well – _grown-up_ – was beyond awful.  I didn't even like to think about it.

So when I got to the Academy and saw just how little privacy there was in the showers, I was naturally upset.  The only solution I could come up with was to take showers at night when (hopefully) there wouldn't be any other cadets around, since most of them showered in the morning.  And for the first few cycles, it worked.

Everything seemed fine this night, too – there were no other kids in the shower room when I got there and I grabbed the stall farthest from the door, just like always.  I set my kit and my icon down on the bench, 'booted out of my clothes and started the data.  I even gasped when it started out too cold, just like always.

I got the data just how I liked it and I was showering and everything was OK – although I was always a little nervous in those showers and this night was no different.  I'd just started to wash my hair when I thought I heard a noise, and I froze.  I looked over my shoulder and didn't see anything, but my eyes were full of data and I couldn't be sure.  I figured I imagined it, 'cause you can never be too sure about sounds when the data's running anyways, and went back to washing my hair.

I shut off the data when I was done and felt for the towel to dry my face and hair a little, and that's when I realized something was wrong.  It wasn't on the hook.  I knelt and didn't feel it on the floor either, and a growing sense of dread was beginning to rise.  I wiped my eyes with my wrists and hands as well as I could and opened them, and that's when I really started to panic.  

My icon was gone.

"No!" I whispered.  I bent down and looked on the floor, desperately hoping it'd just fallen even though I knew that wasn't really possible.  I couldn't hear anything except the data dripping in the stall behind me, but I knew in my heart that something was terribly wrong.

I took a cautious step out of the shower stall, and my heart was pounding so hard I figured it would jump right out of my chest.  Nothing.  I took another step, then two, and I still didn't see anyone or anything – including my icon or towel.  I took a couple steps towards the door, then I heard a kind of 'whooshing' sound and just as I started to turn my head, I screamed as there was a stinging pain.  Right on my bitmap.  "Owwwww!"

That's when I heard the laughter.  Zip stepped out from behind the row of stalls, along with a couple big guys I didn't recognize, holding a wet towel.  I was hopping from foot to foot from the pain, but as soon as I saw him I doubled over, covered myself as best I could and started backing towards the door.

"Not so fast."  I spun, and there was Calisto standing behind me.  He grinned and pushed my towards the center of the room and my feet were wet, so I slipped and fell and banged onto the hard floor and that hurt like deletion too, believe me.

Zip chuckled.  "Now we know why we never see you in here, huh Enzo?  Sneaking in at night – very clever."

"Leave me alone!"

"Looking for something?"  He held up my icon.  "Very careless of you to leave this lying around – anyone could just grab it."

"Gimme that!"  I stood up and reached for it but he yanked it away, laughing.  Being the only one naked in a room with four big kids might not be the worst feeling possible, but at the time you couldn't convince me of that.

"Grabby, aren't you?  Where's your respect, huh?"  He whipped the towel at me again – not at my bitmap this time - and I squealed and dove out of the way.

"Does your Mommy know you run around without your diaper, Infant?" Calisto sneered.

"My Mom's deleted, nullface.  Gimmee my icon – please!"

"I don't blame you for trying to sneak in here." Zip chuckled.  "If I were you I'd be ashamed to be seen in public, too."  They all got a good laugh out of that.  They said a lot of other stuff about me too – I don't repeat it because I don't even like to remember it.  It was horrible – like a nightmare I just couldn't wake up from.  And that's when it got worse.

Once they'd all had a chance to make wisecracks about me and Zip whipped the towel at me a few more times, making me dance as I tried to cover up, he got a big smile on his face.  "You don't like being in the showers naked, huh?"

I was pretty close to tears at this point. "Please – just let me go!  Give me my icon!"  The next thing I knew, two of them were lifting me up and carrying me towards the door.  "No!" I shouted, and I started kicking and struggling as well as I could.  But these guys were all bigger than me – I didn't have a chance.

Zip opened the door, and the two guys I didn't recognize tossed me out into the hallway.  Zip held up my icon, grinned, and waved.  Then the door to the showers closed and I heard them file locking it from the inside.

"No!"  I started pounding on the door.  "No!  Please – let me in!  Please!"  I pounded and pounded but there was no response from inside – but I heard _another_ door open, and laughter.

I doubled over at the waist again and tiptoed across to my room.  I started pounding on _that_ door.  "Linux!  Linux, let me in, please!  Please, please, please!  Linux!"  Nothing – maybe he was still down in the rec room.  I kept pounding on the door and I _was_ starting to cry now, and then I heard another door open and I realized that the more noise I made trying to get into my room, the more attention I was drawing to myself.  "Shit!" I groaned, and pounded on the door one last time.

I spun back to the hallway and covered myself and saw a couple of guys standing in their doorways, clearly finding the entire situation very funny.  I knew I had to get downstairs to the house master's room – but there was no _way_ I was going down that elevator.  The _see-through_ elevator.  I dashed for the end of the hall, praying there was a stairwell.  There was, thank the User.

I flew down the stairs and prayed again, this time that there'd be no one outside when I opened the door on the main floor.  I wasn't so lucky this time – there was one cadet out in the hallway, going into his room.  He looked at me and laughed.  "What in the net are you doin', Little Man?"

I hid behind the door to the stairwell and poked my head out.  "Where's the house master's room?  Please!  Where is it?"

"Opposite hallway – right side, on the end."  He chuckled and shook his head.  "Gonna be a fun run, Kid."  And he popped into his room and closed the door.

Opposite hallway!  That meant I'd have to run through the main entrance hall – right past the rec room, the mess hall, the elevator…  Oh, User!  The only good thing was that it was pretty late, maybe there wouldn't be anyone out and about.  But getting my feet to move was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do – that other hallway felt like it was a million systems away.  I just stood there for a while and shook and felt the tears on my cheeks and couldn't make my legs work.  

Finally I took a deep breath, wiped my eyes and took off at a dash, as fast as I could, without even trying to cover anything up – sacrificing everything for speed.  I'm faster than I am strong, even though I've still got pretty short legs – but that nano I was as fast as any zip board.  I'm sure I was a green blur moving down that hallway.

I flew past the rec room and heard a shout behind me, then I heard someone calling out and laughing, but I didn't stop and I didn't turn around.  I was out in the main hall and by the elevators and there were a couple of guys out there too but I didn't even pause, I just kept right on running and running, past the mess hall and I found the opposite hallway and took off down that, hoping and hoping harder than I've ever hoped that the house master was in his room.

I could still hear laughing behind me when I got to his door – a couple of kids probably followed me to see what was going on.  They called me some names that I'm not going to repeat. I doubled over again and pounded on the house master's door.  "Please!  Please be there, please!  Oh User, let me in!"

The sweetest sound I ever heard was that door sliding open.  I slipped through without even looking up at him – I didn't even know who the house master _was_ yet – and curled up in a ball on his floor, still dripping wet.  "Please – close the door!  Close it, please close it!"

He did.  "What in the name of the collective is the meaning of this, Cadet?"  I finally looked up – it was the guy who taught my games identification class, the one who was even younger than Matrix.  Mr. Garamond.  My eyes were blurry but I could see the shock on his face.

"They…  They locked me out of the bathroom!  I w-was t-taking a shower…  And they t-took my icon!"

"Calm down.  Just calm down."  He disappeared for a nano, and I took the opportunity to wipe my eyes.  I felt around behind me where my skin was still stinging, and realized on top of everything else that I had a big red welt on my butt where Zip had snapped me with the towel.

A nano later Mr. Garamond draped a blanket around my shoulders, and I wrapped it around myself tightly.  "Now – tell me what happened, Cadet Matrix."

I sobbed a couple times.  "I…  I was in the shower and…  And…"

"Calm, Cadet.  Calm down.  What happened?"

I wiped my eyes again.  "They t-took my icon and… My towel.  And locked m-me out.  In the hall."

"Who?  Who did?"  My stomach lurched again when he asked me – I could sense the danger in his question.  I was getting good at that, even freaked out as I was.  "Enzo?  Who did it?"

"I…"  I looked up at him and wiped my eyes again.  "I don't know them.  A c-couple k-kids I don't know."

"A couple kids you don't know just took your icon and tossed you out into the hall?  Just like that?"

"Y-yes Sir."

He scowled and shook his head.  "I can't help you if you won't be honest with me, Cadet."

"Sorry S-sir."

"Damn hazing.  Every deleted semester…"  Mr. Garamond shook his head again and nodded at me.  "Get up, Enzo.  Let's get you back to your room."

"Thanks." I whispered, pushing myself to my feet.  I realized that in addition to my bitmap, my hip and elbow hurt from when Calisto had pushed me down in the showers.

"You all right, Cadet?  You want to see the nurse?"

"No.  I'm fine."  It wasn't a very good lie.

He draped his arm around me and led me out into the hall, where a couple of cadets were straggling around.  "Get back to your rooms.  Excitement's over."  I just looked down at my feet as he led me to the elevator – I have no idea how many kids were out there or what their expressions were.  I can guess.

"I'm going to try and get to the source of this, Cadet – but of course, no one will have seen anything.  They never do.  I wish you'd let me help you-"

"I…  I don't know them, Sir.  S-sorry."

We were on the third floor now, and he stopped outside my door and knelt next to me.  "Enzo – I know it's not easy for you being so- well…  I know it's not easy being the youngest.  Maybe it would be better if we took some special precautions.  We could-"

"I'll be fine, Sir."  I hated his pity – _hated_ it.  It was like I was 0.1 again, treated like a baby by everyone else.  Everyone bigger and older.  But maybe he was right – maybe I couldn't take of myself…

"Right.  Fine." He sighed.  "I don't want you to let yourself get taken advantage of, Cadet.  Let me know if things get too bad for you, and I'll help.  That's an order."

"I will, Sir.  Can I please go to bed now?"

"Right."  He patted me awkwardly on the shoulder and palmed his PID over the lock.  The door slid open and he led me into the room.  And there on my bed, neatly as could be, sat my icon and shower kit.  And on the other bed sat Linux.  He met my eyes when we walked in, and looked immediately down at his feet.  I grabbed my icon and quickly rebooted into my shorts and T-shirt, my sleeping clothes.

"You sure you're all right, Cadet? You're limping a little."

"Fine." I nodded, stifling a sob.  I handed him back his blanket and sat on my bed.  "Thank you."

"NP.  Lights out in 15 micros – get some sleep, both of you.  And remember what I said, Enzo."  He looked at Linux for a moment, smiled sadly at me and left us alone.

I stared at Linux for a few nanos, but he wouldn't look at me.  Finally I buried my face in my pillow and tried to wish the whole night away, like it'd never happened.  "I'm sorry." Linux said after a couple micros.  "I'm sorry.  Enzo?"  More silence.  "He – they said if I let you in they'd beat me up.  He said they'd beat me up every cycle.  I'm really sorry.  Enzo?"

I had nothing to say to Linux right then.  I just lay there till I started crying, hard, and let the pillow soak it all up. Until I was done, I had nothing left, and tried to go to sleep.  Linux didn't try to talk to me again that night.

As hard as it had been to force myself out of that stairwell without my clothes, it was almost as tough to convince myself to leave my room the next morning.  The thought of facing anyone was almost more than I could take.  How could I?  They'd all know, I was sure of it.  The ones that had seen what happened (and _caused_ what happened) would tell the ones who hadn't.

Linux didn't say a word to me as we were getting ready for classes that morning.  What in the net _could_ he say?  In some way I knew what had happened wasn't his fault, exactly – but I was so hurt on every level of my programming that I didn't see forgiving him anytime soon.  

I mostly kept my head down as I walked to my morning classes.  I couldn't bear to make eye contact with anyone – I was sure I'd see contempt and ridicule in their eyes.  I heard a few snickers and an occasional insult from nearby, but that was about the extent of it as nobody really talked to me and I sure as deletion didn't talk to anyone else.

The worst part of it was conditioning – because Lisa was in that class.  For all the horror I felt at the idea of facing anybody else, facing Lisa was infinitely worse.  Maybe she'd know and maybe she wouldn't, but I couldn't stand the idea of taking the chance.  She tried to make eye contact with me a couple of times but I deliberately looked away, and I tried to stay on the opposite end of the gym from her as much as I could.

I ate lunch in the boy's dorm that cycle, just to avoid Lisa.  Most of the kids ate lunch in the main mess – the ones in the dorms were mostly breakfast and dinner – so there weren't too many cadets in there, which was just fine with me.  I found a spot at the end of one of the big tables and ate by myself, and other than one kid shouting out one of the names I'd heard the night before, I was left alone.

I was walking out of the dorm after lunch when someone pushed me from behind, and I almost fell on my face.  I scraped my hands a little catching myself on the ground, and I winced as I pushed myself up.  I turned around and Calisto was grinning at me.  "Thanks for the entertainment last night, Infant."

"Leave me alone." I mumbled, and started to walk away.  He grabbed me by the collar and pulled me back.  "Hey!"

"Did I give you permission to leave, Sprout?  Huh?"

"Just let me go!"

"Ask me." He said softly.

"No."

"Ask me.  Beg me.  Go on – beg me to let you go."

There was no _way_ I was gonna do that.  I slapped his arm away from my neck, which surprised him a little.  "Log off, nullbreath!" 

I turned and took a step away, but he slapped me in the back of the head – hard.  I went down to my knees and saw stars for a few nanos.  "Don't try that again, Infant, or you'll get a whole lot more."

I was still a little woozy, but I pushed myself to my feet again and took off at a dead run.  He followed me for a few paces and shouted some insults, but I blended into a big knot of kids and after a nano I didn't hear him following me anymore.  I made it to my classroom building and leaned against the side for a few nanos, catching my breath and waiting for my balance to come back. My head was still smarting pretty good.

For the rest of that cycle I was looking over my shoulder pretty much all the time, worrying that at any nano I was gonna get ambushed.  It wasn't a nice feeling.  I was nervous and tense every nano, and needless to say I was having a hard time concentrating on my classes – and that really sucked because so much of what they were teaching us was new for me.  I comforted myself with the knowledge that at least the minute-end was coming up, and I wouldn't have to worry about classes for a couple cycles.  Crash, I could hide in my room for the whole minute-end if I wanted.

I managed to lay low most of the cycle and not got waylaid again, and I was on my way back to the dorm when I felt a tap on my shoulder.  I gasped and spun around, bringing my arms up automatically to defend my face.  "Hey!  Relax!"

"Lisa?"

"Yeah."  She smiled at me, but she didn't seem happy.  I couldn't look at her for long – I just stared at my feet.  "You all right?"

"Yeah – fine."  I mumbled.  "I gotta go-"

"Wait!"  She grabbed my arm, gently but she had a strong grip, too.  "Stay and talk to me a nano."

"I…I can't…"

Lisa slid her hand down my arm until she was holding my hand, and dragged my off to a bench.  I sat meekly next to her but I still wouldn't - couldn't – look at her.  "I thought you didn't like me anymore, the way you avoided my in conditioning class.  And then you never showed up at lunch."

"Sorry!" I said quickly.  It had never occurred to me that she'd think that.  "I Wasn't avoiding-  I mean-  It wasn't you…"

"I was wondering if I made you mad, or something." She smiled.  "And then someone told me about what happened last night."

"Oh, no!"  I tried to stand up, but she wouldn't let go of my hand.  "Please. I have to go-"

"Enzo – wait!"

"But…"

"Just wait.  Are you OK?  Did they hurt you?"

I hid my face in my free hand.  "Please just let me go.  I can't talk about it."

"Enzo…  I'm sorry."  She squeezed my hand.  "Those guys are just nulls, that's all.  They're jealous of you 'cause you're such a good Guardian already and you're younger than they are."

"Lisa-"

"They didn't hurt you, did they?  Hit you or anything?"

"No." I sighed.  "They just pushed me down.  And Calisto kinda punched me in the back of the head today.  A little."

"Oh, no!"  She felt the back of my head, real softly.  That made me forget about my problems for a nano anyways.  "There's a bump here – you should go to the infirmary."

"No!  I'm fine, honest.  I just need to go back to my-"

"Ooh – I hate guys like that!" Lisa fumed.  "Boys are all the same.  Poor Enzo…"

I finally pulled my hand away and stood up – I couldn't take any more.  "Please – I just wanna be alone, OK?  I'm sorry."

Lisa looked really sad.  "You promise you're OK?"

"Yeah – promise." I lied.

"Enzo – let's go for a walk tomorrow, OK?  We have the whole cycle free.  Let's walk up in those hills overlooking the town – I bet it's really beautiful."

That just confused the data out of me.  Why in the net would she want to spend time with _me_?  "Lisa, I…  I don't think I can-"

"Please?"

"I don't think so.  I-"

"Enzo…" she sighed.  "I'll meet you here tomorrow at fourteen hundred, OK?  I'll be here if you want to go."

I stared at her for a nano, my curiosity finally overcoming my shame.  "O…OK.  I'll think about it."

"Good!  So I'll see you tomorrow." She bounced up and squeezed my hand again, real quick.

"Maybe." I whispered.  She smiled and took off towards the girls' dorm, and I headed off towards the boys', more confused than ever.

When I went to the mess hall for dinner it was really crowded and really loud.  It seemed like a little too much for me to deal with right then.  I walked up to the counter I asked the service binome if I could take food to go, but she said no, there was no food allowed in the rooms.  So I took a tray and looked for a quiet spot, trying not to look directly at anybody the whole time.

It wasn't a good meal.  Zip and Calisto spotted me, and they shouted out a few of the names they'd used on me the night before in the showers.  Some of the other kids laughed, some didn't.  As for me I just sat there and ate as fast as I could and tried to ignore them, as if that were possible.

I finished my tray in record time and headed upstairs, and just sat on my bed with my eyes closed, trying to block everything else out, until Linux came in.  "Hey." He said softly.

"Hey."

He tossed his stuff down on his bed and sat and didn't say anything else for a couple of nanos.  I went back to having my eyes closed.  I still couldn't find anything inside me to say to him – I was still hurting too much.  Finally he sat down at my desk.  "Whatcha doing tonight?"

"I dunno."

"Um…  I was thinking I'd go into town and check it out, since we don't have classes tomorrow.  Maybe see a quicktime or find an arcade or something.  Wanna come?"

"No."  

"Oh.  You sure?  It might be alphanumeric-"

"No." I sighed.  "You go – I'm gonna stay in."

"OK.  I, uh, guess I'll see ya later then."

"Yeah."  I watched him get ready to leave for a couple of nanos.  "There's a pixels arcade on Baud Street – it's pretty high density.  If you're looking for something to do."

"Oh!  Thanks."

"No problem."

"I'll, uh – I'll see ya later then.  You sure you-"

"No."

"OK." He sighed.  "See ya, then." He sighed.  Once he was gone and I was by myself I started to think about what the rest of my time here was gonna be like.  As bad as yesterday was this cycle was almost worse – thinking about what had happened, worrying about what _might_ happen.  I hated Zip and Calisto and the other nulls that they hung with, but I really hated myself too – because I was too small and weak to do anything to stop them.  Just a weak little sprite.

That started me down a whole line of thinking about what I'd do to those bastards if I was big and strong – how I'd never let anybody treat me like that again.  Never let anybody humiliate me like that.  I'd make sure everybody knew not to mess with me, or I'd fix their bitmaps good.  I'd beat on somebody just for looking me at me wrong, and if they _really_ messed with me I'd delete them.  They'd respect me then – they'd _have_ to, if I was bigger and stronger than they were.

And meaner.

I felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach.  I just sat there, thinking about that.  What it meant.  And after a while I knew I had to do something.  I picked up my organizer and searched the campus directory, and found the URL I was looking for and opened a vidwindow.


	8. Identity Crisis

"Enzo?  That you, Sugar?"

"Yeah – it's me, Mouse.  Hi."

"Hi back atcha, Pumpkin.  What's processing – everything online?"  She didn't know – I could tell by her face.  Teachers never knew about this kinda thing anyway – that's how I figured it worked.

"Yeah.  I guess.  I was actually hoping you could do me a favor."

"Well, I can try.  What'd ya have in mind?"

I took a deep breath and mustered my courage.  "I need to place a call.  To Mainframe."

"Mainframe?" she frowned.  "You know we're not supposed to call on the net unless it's an emergency, Honey – or special circumstances."

"I know, Mouse – but you could do it, couldn't you?  You set up the security systems yourself!"

"Is this an emergency, Enzo?"

"Um – no, not really.  But-"

"Did ya want to call Dot, Sugar?  Is that it?"

She thought I was homesick, thought that's what it was all about!  Well I _was_, but that wasn't the issue.  "No, I…  Actually I was hoping I could talk to Matrix."

"Matrix?  Ain't that somethin'."  She arched her eyebrows in surprise.  "Honey, I dunno – it's really against the protocols-"

"Come on, Mouse.  You don't always follow the rules, do you?  Not even here?  I really need to talk to him.  Please?"

I had her there – Mouse had already been tossed out of the Academy once, and even if she _was_ a teacher now she was still Mouse.  I threw in my best pleading look for good measure.  "All right, you win.  I don't feel right, you takin' advantage of our friendship like this…"

"Sorry Mouse.  But thanks!  I really appreciate it."

"Well, I know Sugar, I know.  Let me make a little magic happen and I'll link the call through to your organizer as soon as I connect, all right?"

"Thanks, Mouse!  Thanks so much."

"Sure." She grinned.  "Stand by."  She closed the vidwindow and I picked up my organizer and lay back in bed, waiting and thinking about what I was gonna say.  The call came through after only a micro or so – Mouse is the best at what she does.  Matrix' face just popped up on my organizer.

At first, I was just so incredibly happy to see him that it crowded everything else out for a little bit.  I could tell he was surprised, but he smiled after a nano too.  "Kid?"

"Hey!" I whispered.

"Hey.  User, it's good to see your face!"

"Yours too!  You have no idea…"

"Is everything OK?  I didn't expect you to call."

"Yeah – sorta.  Um – is AndrAIa there?  Where are you?"

"At the archives.  Working late again, y'know...  She's not here – why?"

"Don't…  Don't tell her I called, OK?  Or Dot or Bob?  Or anybody.  I don't want 'em to worry about me."

"No chance of that, Enzo.  They all are, anyways."

I felt a little 'ping' in my heart.  "I know – but don't tell them, OK?  Can we just talk between us?"

"Yeah – no problem." He frowned.  "What's wrong?"

"I just – I just needed to talk about some stuff.  And I really wanted to talk to you because…  You know.  You _know_ stuff about me."

"Yeah.  Sure."  He nodded.  "What kinda stuff, Kiddo?  You aren't in trouble, are you?"

For some reason Matrix always asks me that question whenever I say I wanna talk to him.  I have no idea why.  "No!  It's just…"

"What?  What's up?  You can tell me, Sprout – not a word to anyone else, I promise."

I stiffened.  "Please don't call me that anymore, OK?"

"Sorry, Kid – just old habit."

"I'm serious, Enzo – please don't, OK?  Promise."

He frowned – even more than normal – but he nodded.  "Sure, Kid.  I promise, if it bugs ya that much.  Now – what's this all about?"

I sighed.  How could I explain to Matrix what I was feeling?  How could I tell him what happened?  "C'mon, Enzo – spill the java beans.  How'd ya manage to get a call through, anyways?"

"Mouse."

Matrix laughed.  "Of course."  He didn't say anything for a few nanos, waiting for me to talk – but nothing seemed ready to come out.  "Well – let me try and get things started, maybe.  How you doing, Enzo?  How are you adjusting?"

"OK." I said automatically.

"OK?  That's all?"

"I…  Matrix, it's hard sometimes.  I…" I looked away from the screen.

"I know.  I know it's hard, Kiddo.  You had it pretty good here – it's not easy to leave all that behind."

"Yeah.  But…  It's more than that."

"What else?  Come on – I can't help you if you don't tell me."  

"When- When did you…"

"When did I _what_?"

I took a deep breath and looked back up at him.  "Enzo, when did you start to- to hate yourself?  To hate _me_?"

"What?" he frowned. "What in the net do you mean?  You know I don't hate you, Enzo!  I thought we'd-"

"No – not now.  I know you…  I know you don't hate me."  I smiled weakly.  "But before, when you were alone with AndrAIa, in the games.  When did you- when did you start to hate _being_ me?"

"Oh.  Oh, Enzo…"  I could tell by the look on his face that it was a question he'd have preferred I never ask.  "That was all a long time ago, Kid."

"I know it was.  But when?  When did it happen?"

"I don't know." He sighed.  "We were out there a while – time seemed to kind of run together, if you know what I mean.  The longer we couldn't find our way home, the more frustrated I got.  And angry.  You- You know…"

"Yeah."

"It was feeling helpless that was the worst thing."  I knew there was no way Matrix would be admitting all this to anyone but me, but that was OK – that's just how it was with us.  "I couldn't get us home, I couldn't do anything to help Mainframe.  I had an idea AndrAIa needed me to protect her – little did I know!  But I wanted to.  And it was tough, feeling like I couldn't."

"Yeah.  So – how old were you?  When you knew you hated it?"

"Enzo – I can't answer that.  It's not like someone just threw a switch or something!  I…  It just happened, over time.  I got an idea in my head that I had to change, become someone different.  So that's what I did.  Tried to do anyways…  Why are you asking me this?  What's going on?"

"Matrix – I…  It's really tough sometimes, being here.  I…"

"Kid - I was stupid.  What I tried to do wasn't the answer – it never is.  I never really _liked_ what I became, no matter how much I tried to kid myself.  Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"I just hate it!" I blurted out.  "I hate being small!  I hate being the smallest all the time, I just hate it!"

"Calm down.  What's this about?"

I was clenching my hands into fists and unclenching them, I was so worked up – which was something I remember seeing Matrix do, too.  Funny.  "They laugh at me.  Because I'm so small.  They're all older and bigger and they laugh at me and push me around.  And I _hate_ it."

"Are you all right?  You're not getting beat up are you?"

"No!  Not that.  Just…  I hate it!  I'm tired of being little!  I'm 1.3 now – why aren't I big?  Why aren't I getting strong, like you are?"

"Like I am?"  Matrix ran a big hand over his face.  "Kiddo, being big and strong doesn't solve all your problems.  Believe me, I know."

"But-"

"Trust me.  Don't get obsessed with it, Enzo – you'll grow up soon enough, and then you'll be disappointed when you realize it didn't fix everything."

"But _when_?" I pleaded.  "When do I grow up, Enzo?  I'm 1.3!  Why aren't I grown up now?"

"You _are_ growing up!  You're a lot more grown up than when…  When I met you.  You're bigger, stronger, smarter.  It's just that those other cadets are older than you are, that's all – and maybe you're a little small for your age.  So you've got to make up for it in other ways."

"I don't know _how_.  I don't know how to do it.  Shouldn't I be bigger than I am?  More grown up?"

He frowned.  "You're a late bloomer, I guess.  _We_ are.  Everyone matures at their own clockspeed, that's all."

"When?  When does it happen?  Please tell me!"

"Enzo…  I don't even remember.  It's hard to remember, it's not like there were very many calendars out there.  In- in a while.  But you know, I really didn't get my full height until I was 1.8 or 1.9."

"Oh, User!  1.9?  I'll never make it!"

"Enzo!  Take it easy.  It didn't happen in one cycle – it's gradual.  And I didn't get, you know, how I _am_ by accident.  I worked out constantly – too much.  It was like I was doing it to prove something I could never prove.  And I still do it – it's not like I even really want to, anymore.  But I've been doing it for so long I guess I can't stop."

"I'm just so tired of being small.  I'm _sick_ of it!" I pounded on the bed with my fists, loud enough for him to hear it.

"I know.  Believe me, I know.  What's wrong?  Why is this such a big deal now, Kid?"

I breathed heavily and didn't look at him for a few nanos.  "I hate it, Enzo.  I'm starting to hate being me."

"What?'

"I'm starting to hate being me.  And I don't want to!  I thought I was, you know – OK.  But now I hate myself and I don't want to!"  What I didn't say – but I think he knew anyway – was that I was scared of ending up like him.

"Why?  Why do you hate yourself, Enzo?  Just because you're small?  That's basic!"

How could I explain it?  I couldn't bring myself to tell Matrix exactly what'd happened – I just couldn't.  "When…  People push me around.  They make fun of me, and there's nothing I can do about it.  And there's a – I mean, what if there were a girl or something…  Why would she ever want anything to do with _me_?  I'm just a little sprite!"

"Sheesh, Kid…  Sounds like you got a lot compiling over there."  I buried my face in my hands.  "It'll be all right, Enzo.  First of all, any girl that wouldn't have anything to do with you because you aren't tall or strong probably isn't a girl you want to be with, anyways."

"It's not just that." I whispered.  "I can't get them to leave me alone.  They won't stop…  They won't stop."

"Who are _they_?"

"Other kids.  Big kids.  Everybody.  Everybody's bigger than me, anyways."

"I know." Matrix sighed.  "But you pretty much knew that was gonna be the way it was, didn't you?"

"Yeah.  But I just didn't think it was gonna be so hard."

"Enzo – you know you can come home if you want to.  Anytime you say so."

"No.  I don't want to.  I want to be a Guardian, spammit!  I just wish it wasn't so hard!  It's not fair – all those other cadets don't have to be deal with this shit like I do!"

"Enzo!"  I'm not sure Matrix had ever heard me use that word.  "Better not let Sis hear you talk like that."

"_She_ could push me around, too."

"Kiddo – I can't make it all better for you.  Nothing would make me happier, believe me – it uncompiles me to see you like this, and you're not even here where I can be with you…  It's not easy.  But I can give you some advice if you want."

"Please.  Anything."

"Enzo…  This is the path you picked for yourself.  I know it's hard, but if you want to make it work you're going to have to find a way to make it happen yourself."

"Oh, thanks a _lot_."

"Did I say I was done?  _Did_ I?"

"No."  I sighed.  "Sorry."

"Do you want to be happy?"

"What?  Of course I do!"  What a ridiculous question!

"Think really hard about it, Enzo.  Believe me, I've thought a lot about that question over the hours.  Do you?"

"I…"  I stared at him for a nano.  I remembered what he was like, when I'd first come back after the restart.  How he was, sometimes – even now.  "Yes.  I want to be happy, Matrix.  I really do."

"Good." He smiled.  "I do, too – it took me a long time to get here, but I do.  And I really want you to be happy, Kid – as much as I want anything in the net.  So listen up.  You can't ever be happy if you try to be me.  Trust me, I know.  You have to be yourself, Enzo – you lose that, and _you're_ lost.  Understand?"

"Not really."

"Look – we're not the same sprite.  We have the same code, more or less – but we're different people.  There's something about you, Kid – something about you that makes everyone who loves you happy.  And anyone you meet who's worth knowing will see that, and they'll like you too.  You don't hide yourself away – you let people inside, you let them see who you are.  And they see how much you care about them, how good your heart is.  And that's why they like you.  Understand?"

"But…  What about – I mean…"

"Maybe you don't see the effect you have on people.  I don't think I saw it, either, when I was little.  But you make people _happy_, Enzo – just by being who you are.  Just because of _how_ you are – how much you just…  _Enjoy_.  Everything's an adventure to you – a chance to have fun.  And you make everyone who loves you happy.  Don't you think I'd give anything in the net to be able to do that again?  Make people happy just to have me around?"

I'd never really thought about what he was saying, so it was weird to hear it.  "Really?"

"Really.  You have something special, Enzo.  Don't _ever_ lose it – you'll regret it for the rest of your life.  And if you get so caught up in being angry and getting even with people you'll lose it faster than you can believe.  You'll lose _you_, Kid.  I don't want to ever see that happen."

"But…"  It was strange to hear Matrix talk like this, even to me, but what he said was touching me right in my gut.  "How do I get through this?  How do I make people respect me?"

"You earn it, Kid.  Let me tell you something – it's pretty easy for me to make people afraid.  I think I did it to you for a while, didn't I?"

"I guess."

He smiled.  "I did it to everybody, don't feel bad.  But you know what?"

"What?"

"It's a lot better to have people like you than fear you.  Even better to have them love you.  But the problem is that it's a lot _harder_ to get them to love you or even like you.  Harder than making them afraid of you.  I can make people afraid of me – I'm big and strong, I have a nasty-ascii gun and a bad temper.  It's easy.  But I can't get people to love me – not like you can.  And I never will."

"_I _love you!"

"I know." He said softly.  "AndrAIa too – always.  But it's different with family, and I don't think Andri would've loved me if she'd met me like I am know.  The reason she loves me is because she sees _you_ in me, and she always will.  And when I'm with her _I_ can see a little of you in me, too.  That's one of the reasons I love her so much, I guess."

"Do you really think that's true?"

"I know it is, Enzo.  I still have enough of you left that I can get a few people to like me – how's that!  But you have _all_ of you – you're Enzo.  Why would you ever want to give up what makes people love you?  Just because you grow up that doesn't mean you have to lose the person you are."

"But the person I am gets pushed around and laughed at and- and…"  I almost told him about the shower nightmare, but I didn't.  "And no one respects him!"

"Wrong.  The people who matter do.  Respect is earned, Enzo.  I'm not saying you can't be tough.  I'm not telling you not to stick up for yourself – crash, you always have. Just don't worry about impressing the sort of sprite that pushes you around and makes fun of you.  They don't matter one byte – stand up to them and make them respect you - and then forget they ever existed."

"You make it sound so easy!" I growled.  "But _how_, Matrix?  How do I do it when they're so much bigger than me?"

That shut him up for a nano.  He scratched his beard.  "Well – you remember the stuff Bob and I taught you, don't you?  Weight and leverage and all that?"

"Yeah…"  Not nearly enough.

"And they're teaching you physical defense at the Academy, right?"

"Yes – but I need to defend myself _now_!  And how do I make them respect me without getting into fights and stuff and, you know…  Changing, like you said?  Making them afraid of me?"

"OK…  The first thing is, _never_ let them know that you're afraid of _them_.  That's important, Enzo – _very_ important.  You get me?"

"Yeah – sure."

"Are you _sure_?  Think about what you're saying."

I did.  And the truth was, I _was_ afraid of Calisto and Zip and Quantum and all those big boys – I'd been afraid of them from the beginning, and I was even more afraid now.  "OK, maybe I am, a little.  But how can I _not_ be?  They're twice my size!"

"Doesn't matter.  Don't ask me how I know, Enzo – just trust me, I do – but bullies thrive on fear.  They do what they do because they _like_ making people afraid of them.  Don't ever let them see that they're getting to you – that they scare you.  That'll freak them out.  Even if they _are_ bigger and stronger, if you stand up to them and don't back down they'll leave you alone.  It might take a while, but they will."

"A while…" I sighed.

"Don't let them control your life.  That's what they want.  Stand up to them and be tough, and take your medicine if you have to – but don't take it lying down.  Never start a fight, but if they start one with you be smart about it.  I know how smart you are – use your processor.  I guarantee you, you've got more brains than they do."

"Use my processor?"

"Definitely.  Kiddo, look at everything you've been through already – losing Mom and Dad, the restart, Daemon…  No one could ever say you've had it easy.  But you survived because you were tough, just like I did.  You're _still_ tough.  Bullies hate tough guys – they're not interested in kids who fight back, even if they _are_ half their size.  Once they see how tough you are, they'll back off.  I promise."

"Really?  You mean it?"

"Promise.  It won't be easy, but if you stick with it it'll be OK.  Just don't let them change who you are."

I wanted so much to believe him.  I _did_ feel proud of myself for getting through everything I had and still being a basically normal sprite, and I was definitely proud of everything Bob and I had done in the games.  I was the youngest here, yeah – but that was something to be proud of, too.  Heck, Laser asked me to come when I was 1.0!

But there was still the matter of forcing myself to stand up to Calisto and Zip and the others.  Matrix was definitely right about one thing – I wasn't him.  I _was_ a different sprite.  Maybe it was because of having Bob in my life for so much longer or maybe it was something else, but I was definitely different.

"I'll try, Matrix.  I really will.  But it won't be easy – some of these guys are really tough.  Some of them even shave!  But I'll try."

"Good boy.  Don't be afraid – that's the most important thing.  That's what they want."

"Yeah.  I'll try.  What about- what about the _other_ thing?"

"Which other thing?"

"You know…  _Girls_.  All these other guys are taller and stronger and they can lift more and all that…"

"Spam that.  None of those other guys have been in games since they were 1.0, I bet.  None of them have been in Guardian training for three hours."

"No.  Maybe not."

"Do you want a really special girl, Enzo?  As special as AndrAIa?  Or just any girl?"

"I'll kill to have a girl like AndrAIa." I sighed. "She's amazing."

"I know that, Champ.  AndrAIa fell in love with me when I was 1.0 – she didn't care that I wasn't tall and strong yet.  No girl that matters _would_ care.  Just be yourself, Enzo – that's more than enough.  Like I said, there's something about you – you have something inside that makes people love you.  Hang onto that and you'll meet an amazing girl, and she'll see all that.  She won't care about that other stuff any more than AndrAIa did."

"You think?" I whispered.

"I _know_.  But don't be in such a hurry – you're 1.3.  When it happens, it happens."

"Yeah.  I guess.  No hurry…"

"Enzo…"  He squinted at me, then barked a laugh.  "You already met one, didn't you?"

"No!"

"You're blushing, Kiddo!  How about that…"

"Don't tell Dot – please!  She'll get all gooey-"

"Don't tell her _what_, Enzo?  I thought you hadn't met a girl yet?"

"Awww."  It was great having a big brother who shared my code, but it sucked sometimes too – he always seemed to know more about me than I did about him.  "It's no big deal.  We just talked a couple times, that's all."

"What's her name?"

"Lisa."

"And does she care that you're still little?"

"I don't know." I sighed.  "She never _said_ she did…  But I don't see how she wouldn't!  Not with all these other guys around here."

"Have a little faith." Matrix grinned.  "In yourself.  In other people.  If she's the girl for you, she won't care about any of that stuff."

"Yeah.  Maybe."  I smiled.  "She really _is_ nice."

"I'll bet she is.  Just be yourself and she won't stand a chance, Little Brother."

"Stop!  And please don't tell anybody – not even AndrAIa!  It's no big deal."

"I said I wouldn't – I won't.  OK?"  I nodded and he shifted a little bit and looked down.  "Uh, Enzo…  Did…  Has anyone had a talk with you about-"

"Don't worry." I blushed.  "Bob and I talked before I left."

"Good." Matrix let out a deep breath.  "Wow, my little bro – only gone a minute and already a ladies man.  Who woulda believed it."

"Stop!  End file, OK?  We talked like, twice – that's all!"

"OK." He smiled.  "But you _do_ like her?"

I stared back at him for a nano, then grinned.  "Yeah.  Definitely.  She's amazing."

"That's pixelacious, Enzo."  He stared back at me for a long time and sighed.  "I wish I was there, Little Brother.  I wish I could hold your hand through all this stuff."

"I wish you were, too.  It's rough, sometimes."

"I know.  But you'll be OK – I know you will.  At least you get to come home sometimes – count yourself lucky about that."

"I know.  I know it was worse for you…"

"Least I had AndrAIa." He sighed.  "I hope you aren't too lonely."

I didn't answer right away – I knew he wouldn't like my answer.  "I miss you.  But Mouse and Ray are here.  And my roommate is a good guy."  I said it before thinking about it, and it surprised me a little.

"That's alphanumeric.  His name is Linux, right?  I think that's what Bob said."

"Right."

"Well, I'm glad he's a good kid."  He smiled sadly.  "I miss the code out of you, Little Brother.  Every cycle.  You gonna be OK?"

"I think so.  I'll try my best."

"Enzo, don't fight if you don't have to.  But if you do, be smart!  Use your quickness, use the enemy's size against him.  Don't try and overpower somebody bigger than you.  Smarter and quicker, right?"

"Right.  Smarter and quicker."

"Do what you have to do – and walk away.  That's what I could never do – walk away.  Make them respect you like all of _us_ do, all right?"

"I'll try, Matrix." I said softly.

"I wish I could say something more, Kid.  I wish I could be there to help you."

"I guess this is one of those things I've gotta get through on my own, huh?"

"Guess so." Matrix sighed.  "But I'm here – we all are.  If you need me, talk to me.  Like now, right?  We aren't gonna forget about you for a nano."

"I know you won't.  Thanks."

"Enzo…  You gonna be OK?  Really?"

"I'll try.  I'll try an' do what you said."  I could feel myself starting to get emotional again, but I choked it down – I figured the more emotional I got, the more likely it was Matrix would spill to Bob and Dot.

"You do that.  I promise everything will work out.  Be brave."

"I hear that a lot!" I whispered.  What I wanted to say was _It's easy to be brave when you're big _– but I didn't.  Matrix had to be brave when he was small, too – even braver than me.  

We tried to smile at each other.  Sometimes I just didn't feel like a whole person when me and Matrix weren't together.  "I really miss you."

"Me too, Enzo.  You take care of yourself.  Don't forget about Ray and Mouse, OK?"

"I won't.  Promise you won't tell anybody any of this?"

"Yeah – promise.  I'm here if you need me, OK?  Just call."

"OK.  Thanks, Big Brother."

"I miss you, Pal.  Hang in there."

"I will."  I smiled as bravely as I could and cut the connection.  

After a couple nanos Mouse's face popped up on my organizer.  I composed myself as well as I could.  "All done, Sugar?"

"Yeah.  Thanks, M-Mouse."

"No sweat.  What're friends for?  You hang in there."

"Yeah.  Thanks."  She winked and then her image did too, and was gone.

I thought about everything Matrix said for a long time.  I knew a lot of it was just to try and make me feel better, but some of it really hit me hard, too – especially the stuff about people liking me for who I was.  There was never a doubt in my mind that Dot and Bob loved me, but some part of me was always wondering if it was because they _had_ to – in Dot's case – or because they felt sorry for me – in Bob's case.  As much as I wanted to be proud of who I was, part of who I was and still am is doubting myself.  I guess it'll never go away, and I know it's a big part of Matrix too.

Talking to Matrix was also good because it helped me realize that I _wasn't_ him – which I'd started to doubt a little bit.  No matter how hard I tried we'd always be different, and that was a good thing.  His road wasn't the road I wanted to take.  What I needed was a clue about what _my_ road was going to be.

I was really, really tired – I hadn't hardly slept the night before and I'd spent all cycle in one big fright mode.  I knew I needed sleep before anything else, and the other decisions could wait until the next morning.  I'd already been out for a while when Linux came in and woke me up with his clomping around the room.  One thing I was learning about Linux was that he was kinda clumsy, like he was trying out a new body and he wasn't quite used to living inside it.

I rolled over and opened my eyes while he was sitting on his bed, kicking off his boots.  "Hey."

"Hi.  Sorry I woke you."

"No biggie.  How was town?"

"It was OK.  You should've come – it woulda been more fun."

"Next time, maybe.  What'd you do?"

"Y'know – hung around.  Had a sundae, checked out the comics store and stuff.  There were a lot of cadets around."

"Any cute girls?"

He giggled and blushed a little.  "Some, yeah.  Really cute."

"You go to the pixels arcade?"

"Naw.  We'll go together when you feel like it."

"Cool."  I yawned.  "I'm pretty low-res – I'm goin' back to sleep.  C ya."

"Yeah, C ya.  Night, Enzo."

"Night."

"I'm, y'know…  Sorry."

"I know, Linux."  I closed my eyes, yawned again, and in a nano I was asleep.


	9. The Kindness of Strangers

The first thing I decided when I woke up was that I was gonna take a shower.  Small steps, y'know?  I just decided to take things one step at a time, and then see how I felt before I moved on to the next one.  Like how I decided I was gonna deal with being away from home for so long – break it into little pieces that were more manageable than one giant two hour block.  I couldn't fathom how I'd deal with all the shit (sorry, but I really like that word) that was going on at once, so I'd just deal with one thing at a time.

Obviously taking my showers at night wasn't doing the job anyway, so in a way I had nothing to lose.  I was afraid but I made a commitment to try and be like Matrix, and not show my fear.  What did I really have to be embarrassed about anyway?  In a couple of hours I'd look like the rest of those jerks anyways – better!  So who cared what I looked like now?  Maybe if I repeated that over and over I'd believe it in an hour…

I stood outside the door for more than a few nanos, just taking deep breaths and trying to get my courage up.  I finally managed to convince my legs to work, though, and slowly pushed my way inside.  Walking into the showers when they were full of cadets was definitely a new – and freakish – experience.  There were a bunch of guys there in various states of undress, and believe me, now more than ever I was conscious of just how much younger I was than most of the kids here.  But I'd made a commitment, and I'd be deleted before I gave up on it now.  

A couple of guys cackled at me when they saw me, and I froze for a nano when one I didn't know stepped in front of me and stared me down.  "Gotta admit, Sprout – you got guts coming back in here." I shrugged, he chuckled and stepped aside, and I found an empty shower stall.

It wasn't easy to take my icon off – not after what'd happened.  But I had to do it, sooner or later – and rather than wait till I stunk like yesterday's recycle bin I swallowed the lump in throat, 'booted out of my clothes and set the icon down on the bench – as close as possible to where I was standing, I admit.

I won't say it was the longest shower I ever took, but I took it and I survived.  I dried myself off and 'booted into my uniform inside the stall, but crash, there was no law against that – so what if it was a little cramped?  Most of the seconds were wearing their casuals but I felt like wearing the uniform, and they could byte me if they didn't like it.

"Hey – it's Mister Smoothie!" One guy cracked as I was brushing my hair in front of the big mirror.  "Gonna give us some more entertainment?"

"Not today."

"Crash, Kid – I never saw anybody run so fast in my life!  I thought I was gonna laugh my ascii off."

"Glad you enjoyed it." I sighed.  I finished up, grabbed my stuff and headed out.  A couple of the younger guys looked at me with what seemed almost like sympathy – although I'm sure they wouldn't have traded places with me in a million hours.

I dumped my kit in my room, intentionally making enough noise to wake Linux up – so sue me, I felt like it – and started heading down for breakfast.  I was famished.  "I took a shower already – I'm gonna head straight for the mess."

"Dude – really?" he yawned.

"Yeah."

"Was it…  Was it OK?"

"Yeah – it was wet." I grinned.  He laughed and said he'd meet me downstairs in a while.

I couldn't remember being that hungry since I came to the Academy.  I had an order of French toast and potatoes and a biscuit and gravy, and I even went back for seconds on the French toast, which caused the lady binome behind the counter to give me a funny look.  Hey – I was hungry.

I was just finishing up my second tray when Linux sat down with his first, scratching his head and yawning.  "Dude – you ate fast.  Done already?"

"You don't even know – these are seconds!"

"Really?  Is it good?"

"It's OK.  Like usual – nothin' special but it fills you up."

"Guess you _were_ hungry."

"Yeah." I grinned.  I guess having accomplished one small thing – going into the showers with all the other guys and surviving – was making me feel a little better about myself.  In fact, you might say it made me cocky.  "Think I'm gonna head over to the rec room – check it out, see what's processing."

Linux raised an eyebrow at me.  "You sure?"

"Yeah." I sighed.  "I don't wanna sit in our room all cycle, y'know?"

"High density.  I'll meet you over there when I finish."

"Alphanumeric.  C ya."  I grabbed my tray and stood up.

"Uh…  Are we cool then?"

"Yeah – we're cool."  I smiled and pounded him on the shoulder, hard.

"Ow!"

"Sorry!"  I laughed.  "C ya."  I made the walk over to the rec room feeling almost good, for the first time in two cycles.  That should have been my first warning, I guess, but sometimes it takes me a while to learn life's lessons.

It wasn't too crowded in there – maybe only four or five cadets, I'm not exactly sure because the memories don't start getting really vivid until later.  I know I said "Hey." To a kid I didn't know and he said it back and no one said anything about 'the incident' and everything seemed fine and then I saw Helix – the kid who showed me around on the first day – and waved at him and he waved back.

They had a lot of high-end simulator type stuff in there, but I really liked the 3D pinball games, which they only had two of.  One of them was open so I took a seat back there and started playing and hoped that the other machine would free up by the time Linux got there so we could hang out together.

I hadn't been playing for very long – maybe a millisecond – when something hit me on the back of the head, right in the same deleted spot where I had the bump from before.  "Ow!"

"I'm ready to use this machine, Soft-boy.  You can get up now."

I shook my head, feeling a little woozy.  Maybe I wasn't thinking clearly, that might be why I did it.  "Byte me, Zip."

"Maybe you didn't hear me.  Get out of here and don't let me see your sorry ascii in here again, Meat.  This is for cadets."

"I got here first!  Wait your turn."

"Yeah, that's it – keep talking."  He grabbed me and started to wrestle me out of the way.

"Hey!"  I wriggled out of his grasp and shoved him.  "Stop it, you son of a null!  I was here first!"  Unfortunately I saw Calisto was there too, grinning like the moron he clearly was.

"This just keeps getting better." Zip smiled.  "I'm giving you one more chance to leave, Soft-boy – and not come back.  I suggest you take it."

I should have, maybe – there's something to be said for picking your fights.  But I didn't, for some reason – I stood my ground, trying not to show the fear that was grinding my insides up.  "I'm a cadet – this is _my_ rec room.  I'll use it whenever I feel like it."

"Having a few friends get you into the Academy doesn't make you a cadet.  You don't deserve to be here and you never will."  And then he did something which shocked me and really boiled my code – he spit on me.  No one had ever done that before, and if I have anything to say about it no one ever will again.  I was shocked at first – I stood there with my mouth open for a few nanos.  Then I wiped my face and without a word I flew at Zip.

Well, that was a mistake, obviously – like Matrix said it was dumb to try and overpower somebody bigger than you.  I got the drop on him for a nano, 'cause I think he was surprised – he stumbled backwards and I managed to get a good grip on his neck – but once he had his balance he threw me off pretty easily and we stood there facing each other for a nano.  By this time no one in the rec room was paying any attention to the games.

"You're going to be very sorry you did that, Boy." Zip smiled.

"Infant needs his ascii kicked!" Calisto laughed.  "Cool!"

"Come on then, Puppy.  You wanna go, let's go."  I just scowled at him, panting pretty hard.  I wasn't sure if this was what I wanted, but it was beginning to look like I wasn't gonna have a choice.  When it came down to it, though, I was really scared to fight Zip.  He towered over me and his arms were as wide around as my legs, seemed like.  "Come on!  What's the matter, Gutless?  You scared of me?"

I growled and lunged at him with my right, but he slipped out of the way.  It was stupid – I was angry and out of control, and I lost my balance.  He popped me a good one right on the mouth and I staggered back.  I tasted blood and spit it out on the floor, trying to ignore the rising pain.

By now everyone who was in the room had gathered around us, some of them cheering us on.  But they all seemed to fade away as Zip and I circled each other, and all I saw was his ugly face.  And then a funny thing happened.

The rec room wasn't a rec room any more – it was an arena, a stadium.  My processor flashed back, way back, almost all the way to the reboot.  I saw Zip, but in my head I saw Zaytan – the demon that took Matrix' eye.  I'd been a little sprite when _I_ faced him – still 0.1, scared and lonely and in awe of how much bigger and stronger he was than me.  He almost deleted me that cycle, with Matrix watching – and I'd seen Matrix face and I knew he didn't think I had a chance.  Just like all these cadets didn't think I had a chance now.

I probably _didn't_ have a chance back then – but I didn't delete that cycle.  I faced Zaytan and I refused to die – I looked at him and I saw his weaknesses, just like Mouse said to do.  I didn't have green fire shooting out of my feet and fists now, but Zip didn't have a trident that shot magma either and I was pretty sure no matter how bad it got, he probably wasn't gonna crush my skull.   That'd get him expelled for sure.

OK, so…  Mouse said to look for weaknesses.  Matrix said to use my quickness and wits.  I had something else, too – experience.  I was sure I'd been in more games than Zip had.  Yeah, Bob had been there for most of them but I'd never lost one yet – I was still here, processing.  That had to count for something.

The only glaring weakness I saw in Zip – who, unfortunately, had a whole hour of Academy training under his belt – was overconfidence.  Clearly he expected to kick my butt without any trouble.  I was also pretty sure I was quicker than he was, just like I had been with Zaytan – there was a lot less of me to move from one place to the other.  Zip had long arms and legs – he was taller than Bob.

He waited back for a little bit, expecting me to make another wild lunge at him like I had before, which I wasn't about to do – I wanted to see him come at me so I could try and figure his style out a little.  I didn't and he finally got tired of it.  He feinted with his left hand and swung his right towards my face.  Like I said he had long arms, and it was a looping kind of punch that I could see coming.  I ducked it and rolled to my left, giving him a quick two handed shove in the ribs under his swinging arm.

Zip grunted and teetered back a step, but he regained his balance pretty quickly.   He was breathing a little harder now but still grinning.  He came at me sort of sideways, leading with his left, not giving me a clear shot at the area Mouse had exposed in Hal's defenses – not that I'm sure I would've attacked it anyway, even though I would've enjoyed it.  He still wanted me to go at him and I still wouldn't play along – I wanted him in motion as much as possible.

Next he tried a quick jab with his left hand, which I barely deflected with my right and it kinda bounced off my ear, stinging just a little.  He tried to follow it up with a right but I bounced back out of the way.  "Come on, Chickenshit – you wanna fight or run away?"

That worked on me once – it wasn't gonna work again.  Bob's voice was playing in my head, repeating all the calming exercises he'd taught me.  I started to move my feet a little, dancing from side to side, waiting.  I knew his reach was a lot longer than mine, which was gonna make punching him tricky.  But I got my first chance – he kinda separated his fists, looking for an opening, and I jabbed my left out quickly right between them and caught him on the nose.  He growled and immediately threw a big roundhouse  punch with his right, which I'd have walked right into if I'd jumped back – but I followed my quick punch _closer_ to him and his looping one went behind my head.  I pushed him hard in the chest and he was already off balance, so he fell right back on his bitmap.  

There were a few hoots and hollers from the onlookers then, and I had to fight hard not to smile.  I was still in deep trouble, and I knew it, but at least I had his attention now.  "Did you like that one?"

Zip snarled and bounced up to his feet, and he was seriously pissed off now.  "You're gonna delete, Soft-boy."  He charged right at me with his fists flying, but I slid out of the way again and slapped his ear.  More hoots.  The longer it took for him to bust my ascii the madder he got, but that wasn't a bad thing for me.  He was mad, I was calm.  You don't have to be big to stay cool – you just have to be smart.  Another weakness exposed.

I had that sensation that I'd felt way back when I was 0.1 and facing Zaytan – that my muscles were springs, that I was faster, quicker than I'd ever been.  All of a sudden I knew I could run token rings around Zip – he could chase me all cycle and he'd never catch me.  I think he saw the confidence in my face and that steamed him even more – he growled and launched a big overhand punch towards me and even tried to kick me, but I dodged out of the way.

"Keep coming.  Let's do it." I said softly.  Now _he_ was the one breathing hard, even though I'd really only hit him once.  I figured he wouldn't be expecting me to go after him now, since all I'd done is wait for him and react – so I guessed if I was ever gonna gamble, this would be the time.  I feinted a jab towards him with my left, and he brought his fists in tight over the middle of his face to protect his nose.  As soon as he did that I put everything I had into my right and launched it towards the side of his face, which was unguarded.

Everything seemed to slow down.  Zip couldn't see too well from behind his fists so he was slow to react, and by the time he saw the punch coming it was too late.  My fist pounded into his face, right below his left eye.  I felt the impact all the way up my arm and into my shoulder, and I went numb for a nano.  He let out a yell and fell backwards, banging up against a wall.

If we'd switched places I'm pretty sure I woulda been knocked out – Zip is a whole lot stronger than me.  Even so he was definitely stunned – the side of his face was turning red and I could even see it start to swell up a little.  The room got pretty loud – I heard some cheers and some laughter.  He straightened up and steadied himself, and he looked madder than I've ever seen anyone.

I figured I'd never have a better chance than right now, when the memory of that punch was still right in the front of his processor.  I put my guard up and took a couple steps towards him, and then Zip looked away from me – up, over my shoulder.  I was confused for a nano.  Then the first of two really surprising things happened.

Someone grabbed me from behind, right over the elbows, and pinned my arms back at my sides.  "Hey!  Lemme go!"

I could see Zip's shoulders relax, and he took a step towards me, smiling.  I heard Calisto's voice, right in my ear.  "You're dead now, infant."  His breath stank, I remember that.

"No!  Lemme go!"  I tried hard to bust free but Calisto was just too strong – I couldn't move my arms at all, just flail my legs a little bit.  Zip advanced on me, still smiling.  He stood in front of me for a nano and I stared right back at him.  Then he reared back and punched me, right in the gut, as hard as he could.

I can say for sure that it was the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life.  I felt all the breath shoot right out of my body and if Calisto wasn't holding me I definitely would have gone down.  I just couldn't believe anything could hurt that much.  I felt like I was gonna throw up for a couple of nanos, but I didn't – when that passed I just had waves of nausea rolling up and down and I could feel tears in my eyes and sweat running down my face and User, did my gut ache. 

I stood there wheezing, trying to get some air back in my body, and my senses slowly began to come back to me.  Zip didn't hit me again right away – I guess he wanted me to be fully aware of what was coming.  As I slowly started to feel human again I got madder and madder, but more then anything I was just totally amazed at what a worthless piece of shit Zip was.

When I finally shook the sweat of my eyes and looked up at him, I was smiling.  I gathered as much breath as I could I could and whispered up at him.  "It's a good thing for you this null is holding me."

His eyes widened a little and he grabbed me by the chin.  "I think it's time I messed up that pretty little face now, Soft-boy."  He drew his arm back and I squeezed my eyes shut and cowered against Calisto's chest, bracing myself.

That's when the second really surprising thing happened – while I was waiting to get my face bashed in, I heard a voice shouting "Hey!" and the punch never came.  After a couple of nanos I opened my eyes and saw Quantum walking towards us.  "What the codeswap are you doing?"

Zip looked a little nervous, all of a sudden.  "Stay outta this, Man.  This is my fight."

"If it's _your_ fight, why is _he_ holding the kid?"

"Back off!"

"What in the net is wrong with you?" Quantum pushed Zip in the chest.  It was the minute-end and he hadn't shaved, and I swear he looked as tough as Matrix right then.  "You got a kid half your size, and when you can't take him on your own you get somebody to hold him for you?"

"I can take him just fine!"

"Nullbrain!" He slapped Zip on the forehead, and a few people laughed.  Quantum swung around to face us.  "Let him go.  Now!"

"Whatever."  Calisto tried to sound casual, but his voice was trembling.  He let me go, though.  I was still a little too shaky to stand up and I went down to my knees.

"You OK, Little Man?"

"Yeah." I whispered.  "Gimme a nano."

"User - I can't believe this crap!  Two guys beatin'on a kid small enough to step on.  What in the code were you thinking?"

"He had it coming!" Calisto protested.  "He-"

"Shut up before I shut you up." Quantum scowled, emphasizing his point by boxing Calisto on the ear, hard.  He squealed and backed off.  Quantum stood there with his hands on his hips for a couple of nanos.  "Just get out of here.  Get out before I really get mad.  Crash…"

"Look-" Zip started to interrupt.

"Did I hear something?" Quantum took a step towards Zip.  "I thought I heard something…"

"Fine!"  Zip slithered towards the door, Calisto a couple strides behind him.  He glared at me.  "This isn't over, Soft-boy."

"What're you, basic?  What part of 'get out' don't you understand?"  Quantum moved towards them and they scurried out.  He stared after them for a nano, shaking his head, and no one else in the room said a peep. I just stayed on my knees, slowly getting my breath and thinking I must have dreamed the whole thing.  It sure didn't seem real.

Finally Quantum walked over and stared down at me.  "Sure you're OK, Sprout?"

"Yeah…  Fine."

"I dunno what you're waiting for – I ain't gonna help you up."

"Sorry!"  I pushed myself to my feet and wavered a little bit, and he grabbed my elbow and held me steady.  "Uh…  Thanks."

Quantum shook his head again.  "I don't like to get involved in somebody else's business – but I got limits.  If he was kicking your ascii that'd be one thing, but holy schneikies – getting' his buddy to hold you while he hit you…  That's just level one BS."

"He started it." I said softly.  "He's been torturing me ever since I got here, practically."

"Well – maybe.  But you gotta stand up for yourself."  He looked me over thoughtfully.  "I got to give it up, Little Man – you've got marbles, standin' up to him the way you did."

"Uh…  Thanks." I smiled a little.  "He didn't give me any choice, though.  After what he did to me in the showers-"

"Yeah, I know about that."  He chuckled.  "You're not the first kid that's ever happened to, believe me."

"Really?"

"Listen, Kid – I probably would've just let those nulls do whatever they wanted, except you showed me somethin' in that game the other cycle.  Like I said – you've got marbles.  And you got in a damn good right today, too – he's gonna have a hard time seein' out of that eye for a couple cycles."

"I hope so."

He laughed.  "Stay outta trouble, Sprout – I'm not your mother so don't expect me to kiss it and make it better every time you scrape your knee."

"No – I won't."  I grinned – painfully – and stuck out my hand.  "Thanks, though."

Quantum laughed again and shook my hand.  "Fair's fair.  I can't let crap like that go on in my Academy.  See ya around."  He tousled my hair and left.  Once he was gone and I started to relax, I realized just how beat up I was – my hand hurt from where I'd punched Zip (OK, so I could deal with that one), my stomach was still killing me, and my mouth was bleeding a little from his first punch.  All in all, a good cycle's work.

"Enzo!  That was amazing!"  I didn't even know Linux was in the rec room till he put his arm around my shoulder.

"Oh – thanks." I smiled weakly.  "How long you been here?"

"Dude – I saw the whole thing.  Before that other kid held you back you were kicking Zip's butt!"

"Not really.  I got in a lucky punch."

"You were high density – it was so cool!"

"Thanks."  A couple other guys came over and patted me on the shoulder and shouted out congratulations.  Even Helix pointed at me from across the room before he went back to playing his simulator.  I won't lie – that felt really good.  I was in pain but it was definitely worth it.  I'm sure I had a pretty big smile on my face.

"Are you OK?  Maybe you should go to the infirmary."

"Can't Dude – then they'd know I was fighting."

"They'll know if you've got a broke hand, too."

I looked down – my knuckles were black and blue and a little swollen, and they hurt when I flexed my fingers.  "I don't think anything's broken, Linux.  Just bruised a little bit."  To be honest the pain in my hand wasn't a patch to the ache in my gut – knowing how I'd acquired each probably had a lot to do with that.

Linux still sounded worried.  "OK – if you say so.  You've got some blood on your chin, by the way." 

"Really?"  I wiped my sleeve across it and was surprised to see a streak of red, and I spat blood on the floor, feeling more grown-up than I ever had in my life.

Linux had the same sort of look on his face that he had when he found out I'd been a Guardian since I was 1.0.  "Man, I still can't believe it – that was really alphanumeric.  Weren't you scared?"

"Uh… Yeah, actually.  Scared shitless."  We both giggled.  "But I'll take getting punched over having to run through the halls naked any cycle."

"I guess."

"Besides – you gotta stand up to these nulls or they'll push you around forever, y'know?  Someone once told me that…"

"Yeah." He smiled.  "You're amazing, Enzo.  I don't think I'd have been able to fight him like that."

"Well – I'd be amazing _and_ unconscious if Quantum hadn't bailed me out."

"Dude!  How weird was that?  I figured he was one of _them_."

"Maybe he is, who knows?  I'm just glad he was there today or I'd be mulch."

"Yeah…  So – you wanna do something?  Pixels, maybe?"

"Maybe."  A thoughtwindow suddenly popped open in my head.  "Crash – what time is it?"

"Uh – fourteen-ten.  Why?"

"Dude – I gotta go!"  I winked at him and headed for the exit.

"Wait!" he called after me.  "Why?  Where are you going?"

"I got a date!"

"A _date_?"

"Yeah!" I grinned.  "C ya, Linux. Stay frosty!"


	10. Setting the Standard

Chuckling, I ran outside and headed for the commons feeling better than I could ever remember.  My legs were the one part of me that didn't hurt too bad – other than a bruise on my hip from falling on the shower floor they were in pretty good shape.  It didn't seem like my feet were touching the ground anyways.

"C'mon – be there!  Please, be there!" I whispered to myself as I ran towards the bench outside the great hall.  "Be there, be there, be there!"  I wanted to share this wonderful feeling with someone, more than anything – I felt light, like every movement was effortless.  Even the pain in my belly was forgotten for the nano.  So when I saw her sitting there my heart just about popped right then, I was so happy.

"Hi." She smiled, draping her arm over the back of the bench.  She looked incredible – she was wearing black shorts and a black-t-shirt and it totally showed off her teal skin.  In class she wore her gold hair short, sort of pinned up in back, but today it was flowing down to her shoulders.

"Hi." I smiled, suddenly a little nervous.  "Sorry I'm late."

She giggled.  "Are you gonna stand there all cycle?  It's more comfortable over here!"

"Sorry!"  I leapt over to the bench and sat down next to her.  "I like your hair this way."

"Thank you – you're sweet."

"I like it the other way, too.  I like it _any_ way.  Thanks for waiting.  I'm…  I'm happy to see you."

"You too, Cutie."  She frowned.  "What in the net happened?  Your lip is swollen!"

"Nothing-"

"And your hand is all bruised, too!  Are you all right?"

"I'm pixelacious, Lisa." I sighed.  "Now."

"Were you in a fight?  Oh, you poor thing!"

"Yeah – but I'm fine."

"Did that null Zip hit you?  You're half his size! Oh Enzo-"

"I'm fine!  It's OK!"  I grinned and grabbed her hand, all my enthusiasm bubbling up out of control.  "Lisa, it was amazing!  I was in the rec room, OK?  I was playing 3D pinball.  I guess it's dorky and old-fashioned and stuff – but I like it.  Anyways I was playing pinball and someone hit me on the back of the head, and it was Zip!  He told me to move 'cause he wanted to use the machine, and then he told me to get out of the rec room 'cause it was for cadets only and I'm not a real cadet.  Maybe I should've, but I was really mad, y'know?  And my big brother told me if you stand up to bullies they get freaked out and leave you alone, so I did!  I told him to byte me.  Sorry!  Anyways I told him, and he spit on me.  Can you believe that?  So I went after him and we started fighting and he hit me a couple times, I guess that's why my lip is swollen.  But I started thinking about games I'd been in and Bob and what my brother told me and I figured I was faster than he was, so I started moving and dancing and then I hit him in the nose and man, you should have seen him, was he mad!  So he tried to hit me and I pushed him down, and then he went after me but he missed and then I faked him out and, Pow!  I hit him really hard right under the eye – Quantum said he won't even be able to see out of it for cycles and I guess that's how I bruised my hand but it doesn't hardly hurt, even.  And then that null Calisto grabbed me and held me while Zip punched me in the tummy - I mean stomach - but then Quantum-"

"Enzo!" She put a finger to my mouth.

"Yes?"

"Are you all right?  That's all I care about!"

"Yeah!" I panted.  "Fine."

"Good." She grinned.  "I was worried about you."

"You _were_?"

"Yeah!  I mean – you're so sweet, and I know you must've been really upset about the other night-"

"You were worried about _me_?"

"Of course I was."

"Wow."  I don't know why I did it, but I guess I was so drunk on adrenaline I couldn't stop myself and User, she looked so beautiful.  I leaned my head over towards her and closed my eyes and aimed my lips for hers and somehow I found them with our noses only bumping a little bit.  It seemed to last about a millionth of a nano and there was a jab of pain where my lip was swollen and it was over and I pulled back, horrified with myself.

"Enzo!" Lisa gasped.

"Oh, crash!  I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that!"

"My goodness…"

"Sorry!"

 I got up and turned to flee the scene of the crime, but she grabbed my belt.  "Wait!  Where are you going _now_?"

"I- I'm sorry, OK?  I wasn't thinking-"

"Sit."

"But-"

"Sit!  OK?  Are you _totally_ offline?"

"But…"  As great as I'd felt a milli earlier, I would have gladly crawled into the ground and disappeared if I could've.  What in the net made me _do_ that?  "Lisa, I'm sorry."

"You should be!  Now sit down."

"OK." I said meekly, sitting next to her but not looking at her.  "Crash, I'm so sorry!  I know it was wrong…"

"Yes it was.  Do you think that's how I wanted my first kiss to be?"

"What?"  I _did_ look at her now.

"Sure, Nullhead.  I didn't even get a chance to think about it and it was over!  Besides, we shouldn't be kissing out in public like that anyways.  Boys and girls aren't supposed to fraternize, you know?"

_"Your _first kiss?"

"Yeah."  Lisa looked disapprovingly at me for a nano, then smiled.  "Don't look so surprised!"

"Sorry, I…  I just didn't- I dunno.  I thought you were just mad because it was _me_."

"I'm not mad."

"Oh!  OK, good…"

"And I don't mind that it was _you_, either…"

"Dude!  Are you serial?"

"9-pin." She giggled.  She ran her finger across my hurt lip, which made me tremble all over.  "Poor Enzo.  I hope he didn't hurt you too much."

"N-no, I… I'm OK.  Just a little bruised, I guess."

"I hope you hurt _him_, though."

"I guess." I sighed.  "Not too bad, though.  I just want him to leave me alone."

"Oh, Enzo." She said softly.  She grabbed my hurt hand in one of hers and slowly stroked it with the other, making me tremble again.  "You're very odd, Enzo.  You're not like any other boy I've ever met."

I wasn't exactly sure how to take that.  "Oh, I- um…"

"Poor Enzo." She giggled.  "I meant it in a good way.  They're all so macho and pushy and, you know – _stupid.  _But you're totally different.  I've never met anyone like you."

"Uh – thanks!"

"So why are you so different, huh?"

"Well – it's kinda a long story."

"You and your long stories!  You always start them and never finish them.  I'm not letting you get away with it today!  Why don't we take that walk you promised me?"

"Really?  You and me?"

"I don't see anyone else here!"  She kept stroking my hand a few more times and then stood up, pulling me gently after her.  "You really are sweet, you know that?  C'mon."

"OK." I smiled.  I liked being sweet, if she was the one thinking I was.  I was happy enough just to hold her hand and see her and smell her and listen to her, when she felt like talking.  So that's what I did for a while.

Walking hand-in-hand she was taller than me – but only a little.  In the last minute I'd seen more different shapes of girl than I'd ever dreamed existed, but hers was just perfect for me – thin but a bit muscular, with the most amazing little curves in the most amazing places.  Just being close to her made me happy.

"So…" she finally said, when we up on the crest of the hill overlooking the system.  "Which long story do you want to tell me – the one about how come you've never really talked to a girl before – sort of – or the one about why you're different from all the other boys?"

"Uh…"  I smiled at her and I could feel myself blushing.  "I guess they're kinda the same story, really."

"Oh – that's too bad.  So I only get one story now?"

"Yeah – I guess!  Do you really want to know?"

"Enzo!  Stop it – you're driving me offline!"

"Oh, I…I…"

"Enzo." She sighed.  "C'mon – let's sit down and you can tell me all about it.   I don't even know your last name – what is it?"

I sat next to her on the ground and we stared out over the campus and the city beyond it.  "Matrix.  What's yours?"

"Jobs.  But we were talking about _you_, not me!"

"Yeah."  I looked over at her and smiled.  Our hands were clasped and our forearms were touching and I was starting to sweat even though it was cool on the hill.  "I guess I _am_ pretty weird.  I always thought so, anyways.  You sure you want to hear it?"  She glared at me.  "Sorry!  I just don't like to talk about it.  Not here, anyways.  I don't- it's just weird."

I sighed and closed my eyes.  "The reason I never talked to any girls before is 'cause there aren't any where I come from.  Well, except AndrAIa – and she's old.  Old-_er_.  Like 2.5 or something."

"No girls?  You mean it's all boys?  That sounds horrible!"

"No!" I laughed.  "It's not like that.  It's…  See, there aren't very many sprites where I come from.  Most of them were nullified in an accident, when I was 0.4.  My father, too."

"Oh User – really?  That's terrible!"

"Yeah – I guess."  I fidgeted for a nano, trying to figure out what I wanted to say.  "Anyways, Dad was a scientist and he… He was doing an experiment and he was nullified and most of the small sprites were, too.  Well – _all_ of them, actually.  So there weren't really any girls to talk to when I was growing up.  Boys either."

"Enzo!"  She squeezed my hand tighter, and I winced, but I think she thought it was because I was remembering bad stuff.  "So – you grew up all by yourself?  With your mother?"

"There were binome kids, but…"  I smiled a little.  "And, uh – my Mom was already deleted when the accident happened, so-"

"Oh, Enzo!  You poor thing."  She gave me a quick hug, but I just stiffened like a board I was so surprised.  "Enzo, that's so sad.  You were all alone?"

"No!  Dot was there – my big sister.  She's a lot older than me, and she took care of me.  And Bob came along a while later, and he was like, totally my best friend."  I squeezed Lisa's hand and smiled reassuringly.  "It really wasn't that bad, honest!  Dot totally loves me and she takes great care of me.  And she and Bob sorta fell in love – took them a while, though!  Boy, they had some fights…  But now he's like my Dad, and Dot was _always_ like my Mom…  It's OK."

"Wow.  You didn't miss growing up with other kids around?"

"Heh!  I wouldn't say _that_.  I hated that part.  But what could I do?  That's how it was, so..."

"Enzo…"

"So buttons." I sighed.  "That's why, you know…  Why I act like such a total feeb around you.  I don't mean to be basic – I can't help it.  And you being so pretty doesn't help-"

"I don't think you're basic!  I never thought that.  I think it's sweet.  I think _you're_ sweet."

"I know." I giggled.  "You said that."

"Smart ascii.  I mean it – I think you're the nicest boy I ever met.  I wish some of those other guys grew up like you did, if that's what it takes to give them some sense."

"Thanks!  I, uh…  I guess that wasn't such a long story, really."

"Maybe not.  But I'm glad you told me."

"NP.  Um – what about you?  Where did you grow up and everything?"

"Let's save it for another cycle." She grinned.  "So we'll have something new to talk about."

"OK. Cool.  So – what now?  You wanna walk, or-"

"No – I like it here.  Don't you?"

"Yeah!  It's really nice."

"Mmmm."

"Sorry I kissed you.  Like that." I sighed.

"I'm not."

"What?  You're not?"  Figuring Lisa out was still totally beyond my skills.

"No – I was hoping you would."

"R-really?  You were?"  I could feel myself starting to blush.

"Yeah." She giggled.  "I wanted you to be the first boy I kissed, Cutie.  I knew it that first cycle, when you were so adorable and flustered.  You did it a little sooner than I expected, but you're full of surprises, so…"  She grinned mischievously and swiveled to face me.  "Let's do it right this time, K?"

"Oh, User!  N-now?"

"You don't want to?"

"No!  I mean – yes!  But I- I don't really know how."  I think the sweat was pouring off my face by this time.

"Neither do I – I've never done it before, either.  But it looks easy enough."

"Lisa, I…  I dunno if I can."  Kissing her the first time happened because I hadn't stopped to think about it – I'm sure I would have chickened out if I had.  Now I had nothing _but_ time to think about it.

"Don't be scared." She smiled, and took my hands in hers.  _Fat chance!_ I thought.  "Let's just try it and see what happens, OK?"

"OK."  My mouth moved, but I have no idea if any sound came out.

She moved one hand up and brushed my face.  "He didn't hurt you too much, did he?  Will it be OK?"

"No, he…  It's n-not t-too bad."

"Maybe I can make it better."  She held my cheek in one hand and slowly started her face towards mine.  The first thing I could see was that our noses were gonna hit again, so I tilted my head to the right.  She picked up my cue and tilted hers the other way, and we got closer and closer and it seemed to take forever and ever and everything was slowed down, like when Zip's clumsy punch was looping towards me.

When we were almost touching I closed my eyes and then I could feel the warmth of her lips, they were so close, and then we were touching and there was a nano of pain where my lip was swollen, but she was soft and smooth and totally gentle and then the pain was gone, and everything was sweet and warm and perfect and we were kissing and it was the most alphanumeric thing I've ever done in my life, including games.

We held our lips together for one breath, and then two, and the air from her nose was warm on my face and my hand was on Lisa's neck and hers was still on my cheek.  I can't even describe what her lips were like, but I'll try – they were like everything I'd ever imagined a girl's lips were only a thousand times better.  They were warm, and they tasted sweet, and they curved to meet the shape of mine and mine did the same for hers and it was absolutely amazing and I don't think anything in my life will ever measure up to that first real kiss.

We finally pulled back and stared at each other for a nano, my hand still on her neck and hers on my cheek, and we were breathing heavily and then we both smiled.  "Crash!"

"That was better.  Definitely better."

"Oh, User!  That was-"

"Yeah, huh?" she grinned.  "Is your lip OK?"

"User, yeah!  Did I…  Was it OK?"

"Graphical."  She leaned in and kissed me again, quickly, and it was a short burst of explosive happiness.  When she kissed me it was like a shot of energy that started at my lips and shot out till it touched every part of my body.  "It was amazing."

I stared back into her big, dark eyes and felt like I was dreaming, like this couldn't be real and happening to _me_.  "Totally amazing.  I really did it OK?"

"Enzo!  Of course you did." she giggled.  She snuggled up next to me and put her head on my shoulder, giving me an incredible whiff of her shampoo.  "My poor Enzo…"

I was stunned for a nano, but then I really, really liked having her head there.  I slowly, very slowly extended my arm around her and laid it on her shoulder, and when she didn't protest I hugged her a little bit closer to me and kissed her on top of the head.  It was the first time I'd ever done that _to_ anyone – Dad and Dot and other sprites had kissed _me_ there, but I'd never kissed someone else and I thought maybe I could get used to it.  "User, you're _so_ beautiful Lisa…"

"Thank you." She whispered.  "So are you."

I didn't say anything for a little bit – I just held her and lived inside the smell of her hair and the way she felt next to me.  "I still can't even believe you wanted _me_ to kiss you."

"Why not, Silly?"

"I don't know." I sighed.  "You don't mind that I'm, you know…  Short and not very strong and my voice is still high and everything-"

"Stop it.  You're being basic, now."

"It's just – there's so many other guys here and they're all so much more _grown-up_ than me-"

"No they're not.  You're more grown-up than any of them."

"Really?"

Lisa lifted her head and smiled at me.  "You were nicer to me than any boy I've ever met.  I knew there was something special about you that first cycle, in the mess hall.  And I was right."  I couldn't say anything – I just stared at her completely amazed, and she giggled and kissed me on the nose, which made _me_ giggle too.  "Cutie."

The whole moment still had a dreamlike feel to me, like it couldn't possibly be real.  "You're the most amazing girl I've ever met."

"Yeah, well – since I'm basically the _only_ girl you've ever met…"

"No!  No, that doesn't matter, you're pixelacious and nice and beautiful and…"  And I hugged her then, a real hug, not like when she'd hugged me and I'll gone all stiff like a corpse.  And she hugged me back.

"I've never met anyone like you, Enzo.  I can't believe you had no parents and no friends and all that and you're still so- I don't know…  _Hopeful_.  If it were me I bet I'd be pretty mad and depressed."

Lisa put her head back and my shoulder and I wrapped my arm around her again, loving the way she felt snuggled against me.  "I get that way, sometimes.  Bit it doesn't seem to do any good.  Y'know?  And there's so much amazing stuff to do, I just get caught up in that and I forget all the other stuff."

"Enzo…  I'm so sorry about what those horrible boys did to you."

"Yeah." I whispered.  "It was pretty-  Well… It was awful.  Really awful."

"They're jealous of you.  'Cause you're so much more grown-up than they are and they know it.  You're a man and they're pathetic little boys."

"No, I'm not..." 

"Well – you are compared to _them_.  And they know it.  And _I_ know it, too.  You've been a Guardian three hours already and you lost your parents and they're all worried about their pimples and how their hair looks!"

I laughed.  "Pretty obvious I don't worry about _my_ hair, huh?"  And pimples weren't a problem I'd even _considered_ yet.

"I think your hair is adorable." She grinned and ruffled it with her fingers.  "Scruffy boy!"

"Stop it!" I giggled.  "I'm still a little kid.  I love to play games and goof around."  It occurred to me as I said it just how easily I could be describing _Bob_ – which was definitely something I was gonna have to think about when I wasn't distracted by the close proximity of a delightfully warm, soft girl.  "And I'm still, uh…  I'm still totally homesick."

"So what?  You know what's important to you, that's all.  Besides – I'm homesick, too."

"Yeah?"

"Sure.  But I think you're trying to trick me into talking about myself today instead of waiting."

"No I'm not!  I-"

"Enzo, it's OK!" Lisa laughed.  "I'm just teasing you."

"Oh."  Somehow, I didn't mind all that much.  Neither one of us said anything for a long time after that, and I didn't mind _that_ either.  Sometimes I still felt all tongue-tied and flustered talking to Lisa, but just being there next to her I was totally comfortable and relaxed.  If it was all a dream, I definitely did _not_ want to wake up.

It's amazing how much one sprite can totally change the whole way you exist in the world around you.  Take Dot – if Dot hadn't been around when Dad died, I can't even imagine what my life would've been like.  I don't _like_ to imagine it – in my mind it's a lonely, sad life with no real home and no one to make me feel safe and no one to love me.  But Dot _was_ there – and because of Dot I wouldn't trade my life back in Mainframe for anyone else's.  I'm pretty sure Matrix felt the same way – and what about AndrAIa?  I can't imagine Matrix' life after he left home if AndrAIa hadn't been there.

And Bob – Bob opened up the whole net to me.  He gave me a dream to try and achieve, and he gave me the confidence to believe I could do it – that I could do anything I wanted.  Bob was the whole reason I was even here – he was the reason I was a Guardian and the reason I even wanted to be one in the first place.  If in any little way I was a man already, Bob was the reason I was.

And now it felt like Lisa was that sort of person, too.  I barely knew her, that was the most amazing thing - but it didn't even matter!  For some reason she saw something in me that even I couldn't see, and because of that I felt like I could deal with anything now.  I couldn't wait to wake up the next cycle because I knew Lisa was out there and I'd see her and when I did, I'd realize just how amazing a sprite can be and even how amazing _I_ could seem to someone else.  

I walked with her back down to the campus and we held hands the whole way.  There were a bunch of cadets around when we I dropped her off at the girl's dorm so I didn't get a chance to kiss her again, crash it all.  But that was OK – I was gonna be riding the adrenaline off that first one for seconds, I was sure of it, and besides - we had no classes tomorrow and we made plans to go into town for lunch and spend the cycle together.

So we didn't kiss.  We held hands and sort of stared at each other and then I started laughing, and then she did too, and we laughed for a few nanos and she squeezed my nose and we said we'd see each other tomorrow.  And then I walked back to the dorm thinking about how amazing today had been what with Zip and Quantum and fighting and then Lisa and kissing her and I thought it might just've been the most unbelievable cycle of my life, and if you'd told me all that stuff was gonna happen to me in one cycle I'd have said you were offline.  And tomorrow couldn't come soon enough, either.  

And then the cycle got even more interesting. 


	11. It Takes a Village

Thanks to Taryl and Ladybard for their ongoing help.

Oh, and:  Happy birthday, Lauren!

It was like someone turned my turbo switch off as soon as me and Lisa weren't together anymore – I started hurting again, all over.  All in all it had been a pretty rough couple of cycles for me, physically.  I had:

- Bruised knuckles on my right hand from punching Zips's ugly face (Yes!)

- A big welt on my bitmap from Zip's stupid wet towel

- Bruises on my hip and elbow from falling on the floor in the shower

- A bump on the back of the head from where Calisto hit me

- Scraped palms from catching myself _after_ he hit me

- A fat lip and a cut inside my mouth from Zip's first punch

- A bruise on my stomach from Zip's sucker punch

Mostly I didn't feel too bad about all that, 'cause it was like a finally had battle scars or something.  But it was that last one that really hurt – Zip had punched me _hard_ and I felt that ache in my gut with every step I took once Lisa had gone home and my feet were touching the ground again.  So I zipped home.

When I was walking through the main hall towards the elevator this time, I didn't look down at my feet – I stared right back at anybody who wanted to look at me.  A couple of guys did, and I think I saw a little surprise in their faces – they thought they had me figured as the weakling kid everyone was gonna pick on, but now they weren't totally sure.  It was a step in the right direction.

So I was feeling pretty good when I limped back to my room, sorta like a wounded warrior coming home from winning a battle.  Even though I could've done without a couple of the wounds.  But like always things happen different than I expect them to, so I shouldn't have been surprised when I saw Mouse lounging back on my bed.

"Hey, Sugar.  Thought you was never gonna get back here."

"Mouse!"

"That's my name."

"Where's-"

"Sent him down to the rec room for a while – I told him you and I needed a few nanos to sort some files.  Shoulda seen him scurry away – I think the little fella's scared o' me for some reason!"

"Why- What's going on?"

"C'mon over here and set, Sugar." Mouse sighed, patting the bed next to her.  "We need to talk."

"OK." I gulped.  I went and sat next to her and she stared down at me accusingly.  "What's the matter?"

"Why didn't you tell me 'bout what happened to you, Pumpkin?"

I decided to try and play dumb.  "What do you mean?"

"C'mon, now – you should know you can't slip anythin' past the Mouse.  Why didn't ya tell me?"

"Crash." I sighed.  "How'd you find out?"

"Never you mind, Sweetie.  In case you hadn't noticed, I got more than a passing interest in your welfare.  Why didn't you come to me after it happened?"

Crash!  I really didn't want to talk about the shower thing with anybody – I just wanted to forget it.   It wasn't exactly my finest nano.  And now Mouse knew, which meant Ray knew and maybe even Laser, too.  "Can't we just forget it, Mouse?"

"Not hardly!  Hazing is pretty serious business any time – but when it's _you_-"

"You didn't tell Dot, did you?" I gulped.

"No." Mouse frowned.  "I ain't talked to Dot.  But-"

"Don't tell her!  Please!  Or Bob – he said I had to try and be my own man.  Don't tell anyone in Mainframe, all right?  Promise!"

"Enzo, it ain't nothin' for _you_ to be ashamed of-"

"_Please_ don't, Mouse!  I'd delete if they found out!"

She stared at me and pursed her lips.  "All right – I'll take that under advisement, let's say.  But why didn't y'all come to _me_?"

"I dunno…  I didn't want to go to _anybody_.  I just wanted to forget about it."

"It don't work that way, Hon."

"I… I know that.  Now."

"Enzo, lemme tell you somethin', all right?  You remember when Laser first came to Mainframe – all that way back when?  And he asked you to come to the Academy?"

"Sure."

"I bet you do.  Well, I made a promise to your sister back then, Kiddo – I promised that if y'all came here, I 'd look after you and make sure you were OK.  And I intend to keep that promise, so ya better get yourself used to it."

"Really?"

"Shore." Mouse smiled.  "Like you was my own boy, Sugar.  I ain't never had a kid o' my own and I don't expect I ever will, now – that's maybe one of the reasons I decided to come here, help look after you young sprites a little bit.  But you're special, Sugar – and not just because you're Dot and Bob's boy neither.  You understand what I'm sayin'?"

"I…  I think so.  Thanks, Mouse.  But I'm really OK."

"Honey, that was a terrible thing those boys did.  Now why don't y'all tell me who did it and I'll just take my katana and-"

"No." I whispered.  "I don't want to, Mouse.  That'll just make it worse."

"Dang it, Boy – don't you wanna see those nulls get what's comin'?  They oughtta be punished for what they did!  It's wrong!"

"I know…  But I'd rather handle it myself – OK?  Please?  I don't wanna be a crybaby."

"Crybaby – sheesh, Kid."  Mouse scowled at me.  She looked away and stared thoughtfully for a couple of nanos.  "It was Zip, wasn't it?"

"Uh-"

"I knew it!  Bet he had a couple slimy little helpers, but it _was_ him, wasn't it?"

"Mouse…"  I thought about trying to deny it, but there was no way I was gonna put anything over on Mouse.  "Please don't say anything!"

"I _knew_ it!  That kid's no good, never trusted him.  Always got a look on his face like he's puttin' something over…  Maybe I'll just pay him a little visit and make sure he don't try nothin' like this again-"

"_No_, Mouse!  Please – that'll make things worse!  I can take care of myself, honest!"

"But what he did was _wrong_ Enzo!  That kid's a rotten apple if I ever saw one!"

"I know – but if you get him in trouble he'll think _I_ told on him and then he'll never leave me alone."

"What makes ya think he'll leave ya alone anyway, Sugar?"

I looked down at my feet.  "Um…  I sorta had a fight with him, and-"

"A _fight_?  Crash it all, Kid – what the heck were ya thinkin', fightin' with a kid twice yer size?"

"I didn't want to!  He started it, he…  He hit me on the head and he pushed me and he told me I couldn't use the rec room anymore and he really pissed me off!"

"Fightin' ain't allowed here, Hon – in case you didn't know.  You wanna get yer little ascii expelled?"

"No!"  I looked up at her pleadingly.  "But I had to stand up for myself, Mouse – that's what Matrix told me about bullies and he was right.  Please don't tell on me!"

"Kid…"  Mouse looked at me and sighed.  "I won't tell on you – 'course not.  But you shouldn't be fightin' other cadets, especially big ones like Zip.  Getting' beat up ain't gonna solve yer problems."

"I didn't get beat up." I said proudly.  "Well – not when it was just me and him, anyways.  I gave him better than he gave me."

"What?  Now, Enzo-"

"It's true!  He hit me a couple times, but then I figured out his weakness and I wasn't afraid of him anymore.  And when he saw he couldn't beat me real easy he got madder and madder, and then I popped him a good one right under his eye.  Take a look at him if you don't believe me!  That's when he got that other null Calisto to hold me down.  But he couldn't take me till then!"

"Calisto was helpin' him, huh?"

"Crash!"  _Me any my big mouth_!  "Well, it's true – I was beatin' him fair and square before that moron grabbed me and Zip punched me in the stomach."

"Dang, Kid." Mouse sighed.  "You are somethin' else!"

"So please don't tell those guys you know, K?  It's better if I take care of it myself.  And don't tell Bob an' Dot!"

"Punched ya, huh?  I _thought_ you was limpin' when you came in here.  You OK, Sugar?"

"Yeah…  Just a little banged up.  But so's _he_."

"User, I'd like to take my katana to those skunks and make sure they don't breed…"  She looked down at me and shook her head.  "So ya popped him good, huh?  Right in the eye?"

"Yeah." I grinned.  "He had it coming.  I was scared at first, but once I got over that it really wasn't too bad.  Until they ganged up on me, anyways."

"Wait." Mouse frowned.  "So they ganged up on ya – Calisto held ya down while Zip was hittin' ya?"

"Yeah."

"So what _happened_, Kid?  You seem to have all your teeth, near as I can see!"

"Oh!  Uh…"  I shrugged.  "Quantum stopped 'em, actually."

"Quantum?" Mouse laughed.  "That ornery possum?  Don't surprise me, Sugar – that kid's full o' vinegar but he wouldn't hold with two big boys beatin' on one little one.  Not his style."

"Yeah, well…"  I let out a big breath.  "I was a little scared of Quantum at first – I guess I still am.  But I was lucky he got there when he did, 'cause those guys might've beat me up pretty bad.  Zip was really mad after I smashed his face."

"Oh, Sugar."  Mouse sighed.  "You came _this_ close to getting' hurt bad – ya know that, dontcha?"

"Uh – yeah.  I guess."  I hadn't thought about it exactly like that, but she was probably right.

"I don't believe in a lotta hand-holdin' – I think kids gotta learn stuff for themselves sometimes, even if they get their hair messed up a little.  But them boys is a _lot_ bigger than you are – and I couldn't forgive myself if somethin' was to happen to you.  Not to mention Dot would have my ascii in a sling.  So I'll be watchin', you get me?"

"I know.  Thanks." I said softly.  "But you went tell anyone else?  You promise?"

Mouse frowned disapprovingly, then chuckled.  "Yeah, promise.   But I'll be watchin' and don't you forget it."

"Alphanumeric!"

"Kid."  She sighed, and patted my cheek.  "C'mere an' let me take a look at ya – we can't have you goin' to the infirmary, can we?"

"I told you I'm fine-"

"An' I told you to c'mere!  Now shut yer input and let me look at you, OK?  I picked up a thing or two about medical programs these last few hours."

"Sorry."  I pulled my legs up on the bed and swiveled to face her.

"All right.  Let's start off with your gut – you said Zip pole-axed ya while Calisto was holdin' ya down?"

"Yeah."

"Bastards."  Mouse got a truly frightening look on her face, then.  "You can do a lot o' damage to someone that way – bust up their insides real bad.  Does it hurt?"  She gently prodded my belly with her fingers.

"Yeah.  A little." I winced.

"More than a little, I'm guessin'."  She pulled up my shirt and continued to probe with her fingers all around my stomach, pressing softtly.  "Nasty little bruise.  Crash…"

"Oooooh!"  She hit the spot right then – a wave of queasiness shot up to my head when she did and I almost tipped over.  Then I almost heaved my breakfast.

"Hush now, Pumpkin."  She gently tested the area around the bruise for a nano, while I whined and squirmed.  "Poor kid.  There - all done.  C'mere."  She smiled and wrapped her arm around me.  "Sorry, Enzo – didn't mean to hurt ya like that.  But it hadda be done."

"I know - it's OK." I panted through clenched teeth.  "Is- is it bad?"

"I don't think so – I was worried he might've ruptured your stomach, but it doesn't look like it.  You'd have a lot bigger bruise if he did.  I really should take ya to the infirmary just to be safe-"

"No – please!  It's OK."

"All right." She sighed.  "If that bruise gets any bigger you tell me immediately, got that?  Or if the pain gets worse?"

"Yeah, I will."

"Promise me, Sugar."

"Promise, Mouse."

"All righty.  What else?"

"Um…"  I decided not to tell her about the welt on my butt.  It wasn't a hard decision.  I held up my arm.  "They pushed me down.  In the shower – I got a little bruise on my elbow."

"Hmmm."  She examined it for a few nanos, bending and straightening my arm.  "Nothing broken here.  What else?"

I held out my hands.  "Scraped these when Calisto pushed me down, after the game.  And…"  I flexed my right into a fist.  "Zip hit this one with his face."

"You little…  Yer proud of it, ain't ya?"

"Maybe a little." I grinned.

"Well...  Between you and me, you should be – but I never said that.  Scrapes'll heal up just fine in a cycle or two – those knuckles are pretty bruised up, though.  Lucky you didn't break your hand."

"I guess."

"Dang – you _did_ whap that boy good, didn't ya?  Go ahead and flex those fingers a couple times for me."  I did, slowly.  "Again."  I did.  "Lucked out again – no broken hand.  If ya can, put some ice on 'em, though – they'll swell up a mess if you don't.  I'll drop off a couple o' cold compresses later.  Anythin' else?"

"Calisto hit me on the head."  I pointed behind me.

"Ain't that nice.  Well – you got a little bump here, but it don't seem too bad.  You havin' any bad headaches?"

"No."

"Dizziness?"

"Not until you pressed on my belly."

"Nobody likes a smart-ascii, Son.  You tellin' me the truth?  You could have a concussion easy enough."

"Cross my heart."

Mouse smiled and tousled the hair around the bump.  "Anything else?"

"Well…  Zip did get in one punch before I nailed him."  I pointed to my lower lip.  "Right in the mouth."

She frowned.  "Hmm.  Little swollen, ain't she.  Open up, Sugar."  She leaned in close.  "Any loose teeth?"

"Nnnh hhhh."

"I'll take that for a 'no'.  Got a little cut inside here – don't look too bad."  She gently felt around my lower lip with her fingers.  After a nano she stopped and pulled away, then frowned at me and narrowed her eyes.

"What?"  I said, a little nervously.

"Sugar!"

"What?  What is it?"

"That's a new shade o' lipstick for ya, ain't it Honey?"

My heart started to race and then decided to jump up into my throat.  "I- Uh…  That is-"

"Lipstick.  Care to explain this?"

"What?  There's n-no l-lipstick."  Whatever color my lips were, I'm sure my face was even redder.

Mouse held up her fingers, stained red.  "Well?"

"Blood?" I offered weakly.

"Now, _Sugar_.  It ain't nice to fool the Mouse."

"Geez…"

She scowled and scratched her head.  "Ain't that a kick.  Can't figger this out – you sure don't seem like the lipstick wearin' type.  Unless…  Honey – don't tell me you got yerself a little filly?"

"Uh-"

"Already?" Mouse cackled and slapped her knee.  "Don't that beat all!  Why Enzo – I never would've figgered it!  You ain't but been here a few cycles!"

"It's no big deal." I whined.  "I didn't _mean_ to kiss her, it just sorta…  Happened."

"Always does, Honey.  Always does."  She laughed again.  "Who is it?"

"I don't wanna say." I mumbled.

"All right, fair 'nough." She giggled.  "You know fraternizin' is against the rules too – sorta like fightin'?"

"Yeah – I know.  I couldn't help it, I'm sorry.  Please don't tell!"

"Take it easy, Sugar.  I ain't gonna stand in the way o' young love, now."

"Thanks."

"Crash – shoulda figured after being stuck in Mainframe all that time you'd be rarin' to go.  But you _do_ work fast!"

"Aw Mouse – it's no big deal, honest."

"Hot damn.  Ain't that somethin'.  Enzo, I know it all must seem pretty pixelacious to you right now – but they got rules about this sorta thing for a reason.  You're here to concentrate on the program and learn, and getting' squeezy with some girl ain't always the best way to go about it.  You might not be old enough to keep your priorities in order-"

"I am too, Mouse!  I won't forget why I'm here.  I won't let everybody down, I promise I won't."

"Yeah." She sighed.  "You broke an awful lot o' rules for yer first minute – not sure I like the trend.  I know the fightin' wasn't really yer fault, and I'm sure yer little girlfriend is as sweet and pretty as can be, so I won't take any o' this to Laser for now – though I can't promise he won't find out anyways, way you kids gossip – or even Bob and Dot.  But if I see you slackin' off even a little, I'll be all over you like Microsoft on Netscape – you got that?"

"Got it." I gulped.  I was starting to feel guilty about going off the program so fast.  Sometimes things just spiraled out of control and it seemed like there was nothing I could do about it.

"I mean it – I'll keep you in line even if I have to bust yer ascii."

"I know.  I'm really sorry – I'll try to do better."

"Yeah – I know ya will, Hon. You always do."  She folded her arms and stared at me for a nano while I fidgeted.  "Yer a long way from home now, ain't ya?" 

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Come on over here." She smiled and opened her arms, and I slid over and she hugged me.  I was a little surprised at first, but then it felt really nice.  I closed my eyes and I could almost pretend it was Dot, only with a lot more muscles.  "I'm beginnin' to see why your sister and the Guardian are so crazy about you, Honey."

"You too, Mouse."

"I made a promise to that gal, and I plan to keep it. So you just do your best and I'll be here, all right?"

"I'll try.  I dunno how everything got so messed up…"

"I know, Sugar – I was a kid too, once."  I'd never really heard Mouse talk like this before.  It was nice – like she was letting me see another person she had inside her.  "Tossed outside in your altogether… Ganged up on, punched, fightin'…  Kissin' a pretty girl…  Guess it's been a pretty wild minute for ya, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Ya miss home?"

I didn't answer her for a few nanos.  "A lot."

"I know."  She squeezed me once, hard, and smiled down at me.  "I see the man now, when I look at you – but the boy's still there too.  Yer at a tough age to be, Pumpkin - don't let it get to you too much.  No matter how bad it seems I promise you'll get through it, OK?"

"OK." I smiled back.  It was right then that I realized something important about my life – something I'd sorta been aware of for a long time without _really_ being aware of it.  In a way, it was like everyone from Mainframe – even Mouse and Ray, who came later – were my parents.

Mostly I'd thought my not having real parents and how it affected my life, but I'd almost missed something just as important – Mainframe had no _kids_.  And because of that it was like I was the whole _town's_ kid – they didn't have anyone else, so they all took looked out for me and took care of me.  I could sense that this was really important – it explained a lot of things about how I was now.  I was used to being the youngest – _way_ youngest – and I was used to other sprites protecting me and shielding me from the really bad stuff.  That was really comforting in a way.

But in another way, it bothered me – because it seemed like it would make it that much harder for me to change my life now.  I was at the Academy, but I was _still_ the youngest and the littlest, and I had Laser running the place, and he was like a grandpa in a lot of ways.  And Mouse and Ray.  And even Quantum had stepped in and protected me when I was about to get beat on bad.  Had things really changed all that much?

The scraggy thing was it felt _good_ to have Mouse hug me and take care of my bruises and scrapes.  Everybody who took care of me did it because they were good sprites – Dot filled in for Mom, Bob became my Dad, Matrix tried to protect me so I wouldn't have to deal with the stuff he had.  I loved all of them and some part of me liked having all those sprites watching out for me.  But sooner or later I had to be my own man, like Bob said.  Maybe I'd taken a little step towards that by standing up to Zip, even when I was pretty sure I'd get beat up.  And maybe I was taking another one by not letting Mouse tell anyone back home how bad things had gotten for me.

Mouse tousled my hair a couple times, and more than anything else I just felt grateful to her at that nano.  "Good boy.  I'll clear out and let that little roommate o' yours come on back, now.  I'll bring over some ice packs for those bruises later, all right?"

"K.  Thanks Mouse – you're the best."

"Don't I know it, Sugar.  I'll be around when ya need me."

"I know."  She stared at me for a few nanos, smiled and patted my cheek.  Then she winked at me and took off, leaving me along with my thoughts for the first time all cycle.


	12. Girl Trouble

"Dude – no _way_!"

"Yeah." I smiled.

Linux scowled at me.  "You're bein' a jerk – lying to me about stuff.  I thought we were friends!"

"We _are_ friends!  I'm not lying – I swear!"

"I…  I still don't believe you.  You're makin' it up-"

"Linux, no!  I wouldn't lie to you, I promise.  You're the first friend my own age I've _ever _had and I swear I'm telling you the truth!"

He looked at me doubtfully.  "I dunno…"

"Listen – have you ever heard me lie in all the time I've known you?  It's been over a minute!"

"But…  How?  I mean, we just got here!  I haven't even _talked_ to a girl yet!"

"I know – cool, isn't it?"

Linux stared at me, hard.  "Enzo, if you're lying about this I swear I'll never, ever be your friend again.  You gotta swear – swear on your sister's life!"

I held up my hand, palm open.  "I swear on Dot's life that I actually kissed a real live girl today."

"On the lips?"

"On the lips!"

"Dude…"  He bounced onto the bed next to me at last.  "I can't believe it – you're a God!  You're the User!"

"Stop it!" I giggled.  

"Who was it?"

"Lisa Jobs."

"Lisa?  That girl with the teal skin and blond hair?"

"Yeah!  You know her?"  

"Well – I know who she _is_.  She's in my COBOL class.  I heard some girls talking and one of them called her Lisa.  Enzo – she's a babe!"

"Yeah – I guess."  I felt an odd emotion in my processor and I couldn't identify it for a nano, and then I placed it – jealousy.

"_Serious _babe."  My jealousy didn't last too long – Linux looked real down all of a sudden and I just felt sorry for him.  "Man – I can't believe you got to first base and we haven't even started our second minute yet."

"Uh..."  All of a sudden I felt very dumb.  "What?"

"You know – first base.  Sucking face."

"Oh!  Yeah."  

My expression must have showed how clueless I was – I guess I'm not a very good actor, 'cause Linux laughed.  "Sometimes I forget you never had any other kids to hang around with!  First base means kissing on the lips."

"Really?"

"Sure.  First base is sucking face, second base is-"

"Dude – don't tell me.  I don't think I'm ready to hear that right now.  I still almost faint every time I think about kissing her!"

"Man, Enzo…"  Linux just stared at me looking awed and shaking his head.  "What was it like?  How did it happen?  Tell me everything!"

"Um.  I dunno, I never really planned to kiss her or anything – I just did it, real quick.  Without thinking about it.  'Cause I was so hyped about punching Zip and everything."

"Was it high density?"

"Actually – it sucked!  I didn't know what I was doing and it lasted like a millionth of a nano and my lip hurt from where Zip hit me and afterwards I tried to run away."

"No way!"

"Yeah." I sighed.  "But she didn't let me – she made me stay and talk, and then we took a walk and then we sat down and we talked some more –girls like to talk, I think - and she told me she knew right away she wanted me to be the first boy she kissed."

"No _way_!"

"Yeah – alphanumeric, huh?"

"Then what happened?"

"Well, we talked about Mainframe and about the fight and stuff, and then she said she wanted to kiss me again."

"Were you nervous?"

"Naw – I was way cool.  I knew what I wanted, and I knew what _she_ wanted – me!  So we finally kissed and we did it real slow this time, and…  Crash!  I can't even explain it."

"Try!  Dude, I gotta know – what's it like?"

"I can't, Linux – I just can't.  It was better than anything – better than games, even.  It was amazing and pixelacious and I can't wait to try it again.  You'll have to do it to know what I mean."

"Man – you suck!" Linux growled.  "Like I'm ever gonna do it…"

"You will!  And it'll be high density."

"I doubt it.  I still can't believe it – you are definitely the _man_, Enzo."

"Thanks." I giggled.  It was the first time I'd ever been called that, and it felt nice.

So that was my conversation with Linux at the end of maybe the craziest cycle of my life.  It seemed pretty innocent at the time – no big deal, just interfacing with a friend.  And maybe even learning a couple things I never knew.  But the biggest thing I was gonna learn from that conversation wasn't gonna happen till the next cycle, and I was totally unprepared for it.  Like usual.

Linux tagged along with me when I went into Gallifrey town to meet Lisa for lunch.  I felt kinda bad that he couldn't hang around with us – I know he wanted to and it seemed like I was deserting him in a way.  He was my friend, but Lisa – well, I dunno if she was something else but I definitely knew I wanted that afternoon to be just the two of us.

I'd had Bob to help me the first couple cycles, and now I'd met an amazing girl just because I was butt-lucky.  Linux had pretty much been on his own the whole time here except for me.  So I asked him to come with when I went to meet Lisa because I knew he wanted to talk to her and because at least that way, he wouldn't feel totally left out.  I promised myself I'd spend more time with him during the minute and thought for a nano how odd it was for me to be having those kinds of worries about someone _else_.

So my reasons for bringing him were good reasons, honest – I was really trying to be a good friend, but that doesn't seem to make a difference when something is gonna bite you in the ascii, as I was learning.  I was learning all _sorts_ of things at the Academy, but most of them weren't in class.  I guess it's all part of growing up.

I'd arranged to meet Lisa outside the little pizza place where I'd eaten with Bob, and me and Linux got there first.  I found myself getting nervous all over again waiting for her, like she was gonna just not show up and yesterday had all been a dream – or she'd woken up and thought about it and said, "Why in the net did I kiss _him?_" and come to her senses.  So naturally the first thing I felt when I saw her was relief.

I felt all sorts of other things right after that.  She looked _incredible_ – she was wearing a short ruffled blue skirt and a little fuzzy sweater that were definitely _not_ regulation Academy issue.  I had that weird feeling I'd had when I first saw her, that there was no one else in the net, just her and me.  She looked like everything desirable and wonderful and perfect a 1.4 girl could possibly be.

"Hey." She grinned when she saw me, and held out both her hands, palms-down, which I'd never seen anyone do before.  I took the hint and grabbed them in mine, and just held them for a nano and smiled at her and they felt wonderful and cool and soft.  "What's processing?"

"Not much." I sighed.

"You feeling OK?  How's your tummy?"

I blushed.  "Uh – fine.  I have a little bruise, but it's not ruptured or anything."

"And everything else?  Poor Enzo…"

"Fine, honest!  I'm cool."  Lisa turned her smile to Linux and I realized with a shock that he was there, standing next to me.  "Oh!  Sorry, this is Linux.  He's my roommate."

"Hi Linux."  Lisa disengaged one hand from mine and held it out to him.

"Uh…  Yeah.  Um – Hi.  Oh, jeez…"

"How are you liking the Academy so far?"

"What?"

"The Academy.  Are you having fun?"  Linux wasn't doing too well – he didn't seem to be able to make his mouth work, and he hadn't held out his hand to shake hers.  She finally gave up and let her arm drop to her side.

"Oh!  Yeah, it's very c-cool.  Um.  Oh, wow!"

Lisa squinted at him.  "How nice."

"So…  I guess we'll see ya later, huh Linux?"  I couldn't think of a nice way to do it, under the circumstances, but I desperately wanted to be rid of him.

He turned to me like he'd forgotten I was there, just like I had him.  "Sorry!  Yeah, see ya.  I guess…"  He smiled awkwardly, tripped over his feet and turned away.  Lisa gave him a little wave as he walked off, looking back over his shoulder.

"So, um – should we eat now?" I smiled.

Lisa was _not_ smiling.  She looked at me so fiercely that I think I actually flinched.  "What makes you think I'd want to have lunch with _you_?"

"What?"

"How _dare_ you?"

"What?  I'm…  What??"

"Just…  Just log off!"  She spun and started off at a brisk walk.

I stared after her for a nano, too stunned to move.  Finally I rumbled forward and trotted after her.  "Lisa – wait!"

"I could delete you, Enzo Matrix.  I really could."

"What?  What is it?"  All of a sudden she was like a web creature, someone totally strange and frightening and terrible that I could never understand in a million hours.

"Leave me alone!"  She didn't stop walking.

Finally I caught up with her and put my hand on her elbow, which she promptly swatted away.  "Ow!"

"Get crashed, Enzo."

"Why?"  I whined.  "I'm sorry, whatever I did!"

She stopped and turned that stare at me again, and I felt about as high as her ankle.  "You _told_ him, didn't you?"

"What?"

"Answer me!"

"I don't-  I know what…"  Then it hit me, what she was referring to.  "Uh-"

"You _did!  _Ooh, I could just- just-"

"I'm sorry!"  I wondered for a nano if Mouse had been wrong about my stomach rupturing – it sure felt like it had at that nano.

"How could you, Enzo?  How could you?"  She started away again.

"Please don't go!  Wait, please!"

"Log off."

"Wait!"  I got in front of her and walked backwards, on my heels.  "Please don't go – let me explain, crash it!"

I could see the faintest hint of hesitation in her eyes for the first time.  "Enzo, I swear I could delete you…"

I was still walking backwards, trying to stay in front of her, and I tripped and sprawled on the ground.  "Ow!  Lisa, don't!  Look – let's sit down over there and talk for a nano, let me explain!"

"Enzo-"

"Please?"  I rolled to my feet and dragged her over to a bench. "Please, please don't go!  Just let me explain, for User's sake!"

She sighed deeply, shook her head at me and sat down.  "How could you?"

"Thank you!" I sighed.  "Lisa, I didn't-"

"I thought you were different, Enzo!  But it turns out you're just another guy, doesn't it?  Did you have fun bragging about me?"

"It wasn't like that!  Honest it wasn't!"

"I thought you were the sweetest boy, Enzo, I really did…"

"I am!  I swear – I'm nice!  I- I didn't…"

"Why did you tell him, Enzo?  Did you tell him you copped a feel, too?"

"No!" I gasped.  "Lisa, I'd never do that!  He…  He asked me what happened when I went to see you yesterday, that's all.  I didn't think I was doing anything wrong – it's just that I was so happy about meeting you and everything that I told him we kissed, it just came out."

"You're such a _boy_!  I thought you were so different."

"I'm sorry." I said softly.  "I didn't know it was wrong, Lisa – honest.  I've never been around other kids my whole life and I really didn't know – I thought it would be OK if I told him!  He's really nice, he won't tell anybody else I swear and I'm sorry.  Gimme a break, please!"

"Well, it wasn't OK." Lisa said in a low voice.  "You don't go around bragging, Enzo – haven't you ever heard of 'kiss-and-tell'?"

"No, I…  I guess I haven't."

"You haven't?"

"No." I sighed, feeling really dumb.  "I told you I'm a dork – I don't know anything about anything, I've never had any friends and I'm a freak."

"Oh, you are not!"  She shook her head again, but I could tell she was less mad now than she had been.

"I swear I'll never tell anyone anything, ever again.  I promise, Lisa!  And I'll make Linux promise not to tell anyone else we kissed, OK?  It's just that I was so happy and it was so amazing that I wanted to tell him and I didn't know it was wrong, honest I didn't!"

"Oh Enzo."  She frowned at me.  "You swear?  You'll never do it again?"

"No.  I mean yes!  I swear.  Please don't hate me, OK?  I'm really sorry and I didn't know and I'll never do it again.  I like you so much, Lisa, you're so amazing and I like you so much and I'm really sorry-"

"Enzo!"

"Sorry…"

"OK, OK." She sighed.  She smiled a little and squeezed my hand.  "I know you're sorry, it's all right."

"I am!"

"I know!"

"So – you won't leave and we can still be- You know…"   I wasn't sure _what_ we were, but I didn't want us to stop being it, whatever _it_ was.

"Yeah.  I really _do_ like you, Cutie.  You really didn't know, did you?"

"No.  I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too.  I forgot how things were for you back home, I guess.  That wasn't very nice of me."  She grinned.  "You really are different than the other boys."

"I dunno.  Maybe.  I just know I really like you and you're pixelacious and I don't ever want you to be mad at me."

"Don't worry, I'm not mad."

"Good."

"I can't stay mad at you." She giggled.  "It's like being mad at a little kitten!"

"Lisa!  Stop it…"

She grabbed my hand again and pulled me to her and we hugged, and it was the most alphanumeric feeling in the net to be hugging her after I thought I was gonna lose whatever it was we were.  She rubbed my back with her hands and squeezed me tight.  "Poor Enzo…"

"Sorry." I whispered.

"I know, me too.  It's all right."

"Cool."  I squeezed her for a little while and smelled her hair and I hoped we'd never stop hugging, but finally we did and we sat there staring at each other and I wanted to kiss her but there were lots of people around and I didn't dare.

"You OK?" she said softly.  

"I'm hungry."

She laughed loudly.  "OK, Cutie – let's go have pizza then."  So we did.

After pizza we walked around the town a while and I bought Lisa a sundae with a little of the pocket money Dot and Bob had given me, and then we walked all the way back to campus holding hands.  I don't guess it would've been that hard for anyone to tell we were "fraternizing", whatever that means exactly, but it was hard to see how it was hurting anybody.  But we were still careful about it, I guess – we didn't kiss or hug in front of cadets or anything.

All I knew was that it was getting easier and easier to be with Lisa, and harder and harder to be away from her.  When we got back to the girls' dorm we stood out in front for a few nanos and I held both her hands and just thought about how amazing it was that this pixelacious creature actually liked me.  I looked around and saw that there were no other sprites nearby, and I slowly leaned forward until out foreheads were touching.  I just looked at Lisa's eyes and she looked at mine, and after a nano my lips were moving towards her mouth and we were kissing.  I held my lips to hers and just breathed, slowly, and felt my entire body catch fire.  

Like I said, I was learning stuff all the time but most of it was outside of school.  What I learned that cycle was that I was pitifully unprepared to have a girlfriend – and that's what I wanted Lisa to be, even if I didn't dare use the word yet - in every way.  I'd pissed her off and she'd almost deleted me and I didn't even know what I'd done was wrong.  What I didn't know about girls could fill up a terabyte drive and still spill over the edges.  Still could.  Maybe when you grow up it's different - I'll have to ask Bob and Matrix about that.  In the meantime I just had to hope she'd be patient with how stupid I was about all that stuff.

One thing I can promise – when I got home I told Linux that he could _never_ tell anybody else about me and Lisa, no matter what.  He just said "Duh – I know that!" like I was stupid to even ask, but I made him promise anyway.

It was almost a relief to get back to classes after the minute-end being so exhausting.  Classes were something I could concentrate on, something basically simple and predictable and they were also the reason I came to the Academy, after all.

Mouse's class was starting to be a lot of fun – Linux and I sat next to each other at the back and we were the only ones who didn't completely take her seriously.  Everybody else was sort of in awe of her and terrified of her, and I can't really say I would've been different if I hadn't known her.

Her class was also fun because what we were _learning_ was fun – Mouse seemed to know every trick in the book when it came to physical combat and it was her job to teach us.  I'd been bugging Matrix to teach me since the reboot and he didn't wanna teach me _anything_ about combat for the longest time, so what I learned was mostly from Bob and being in games.  It felt good to finally be learning in a pretty intense way.

What Mouse taught us this cycle was about pressure points – places on a sprite where a while bunch of circuits were and if you hit them or pressed on them just right – wow!  You could really do a number on somebody, and it didn't even matter how big they were and how small _you_ were, they went down like a sack of wet nulls.  She called Linux and me up in front of the class to demonstrate, which was a little scary at first but I thought about it for a nano and realized I'd fought for _real_ in the rec room with a whole bunch of sprites watching, so this was really no big deal.

Having my last class with Linux was great, because we could walk back to the dorm together and talk about whatever had happened that cycle, or stop at the rec room and play games or just hang out and watch a vidscreen.  I was starting to get used to the idea that I didn't have to answer to anybody – I had places I was supposed to be and responsibilities, but as long as I showed up for class and did what I was supposed to, I was on my own the rest of the time, more or less.  That was very weird – scary and exciting at the same time.

We didn't stop in the rec room this time – we went straight back to the room and played floor soccer with a bar of soap and afterwards I was showing him another chord on my guitar when my organizer beeped at me.

"Homework." Linux groaned.

"It never beeped before when homework was downloaded, did it?"

"Huh!  No I guess not…"

I picked up my organizer and it was flashing at me, and I was about to access the assignments module when I saw a message on the main menu:  "Please report to the Headmaster's office immediately."  I stared it like a moron for a couple of nanos.

"What?  What is it?"

"Uh oh."

"What?"

I gulped.  "I'm supposed to go to Las-  I mean the Headmaster's office.  Immediately."

"Uh oh."

"Yeah.  Oh, man!  I hope I'm not in trouble – I just got here!"

"You think he found out about the fight?"

"I dunno." I groaned.  

"Or Lisa, maybe?"

"That's not even _funny_!  Man…"

"Maybe it's nothing – maybe he just wants to tell you how great you're doing or something…"

"Yeah, _right_.  This is bad – _very_ bad."

"Well – you better go, he'll be even madder if you keep him waiting."

"So you _do_ think he's mad?"

"Enzo!  Just go already."

"Yeep."  I took a deep breath and headed for the door.

"Enzo, wait!"

"What?"  Linux stared at me and didn't say anything.  "What?  What is it?"

"Nothing." He sighed.  "I…  I hope you're not in trouble."

"Thanks."  I took out my zip board and I was so flustered for a nano I couldn't even remember where Laser's office was.  I finally got my bearings and headed for the great hall.  Crash, I was feeling it big-time – I was sweating and my heart was pounding in my chest.  Laser can be a very scary guy, and I'd almost always had Bob around whenever I'd talked with him.  Now it was just me, and he might be mad.

All I could think was, how could I ever go back to Mainframe if I was expelled?  How could I face Dot and Matrix, AndrAIa…  And Bob!  How could I ever face Bob?  Everything I worried that they were thinking about me would be true – I was just a screw-up kid who couldn't get anything right, a basic washout who needed grown-ups to look after him.

"Hey, Enzo!"

I don't even know if I responded right away, I was so far into my own zone – but it hit me that someone was talking to me.  I stopped zipping and looked around.  "Huh?"

"Hey!"  I saw a flash of red hair.

"Patch?"  The girl from the game, the first-hour cadet.

"Yeah, you remembered!  What's processing?"

"Er – not much.  How about you?"

"Y'know – just trying to get adjusted and everything.  Um…  I was just gonna go have supper in the mess – you wanna come?"

I didn't want to be rude, but I was having a hard time making my processor focus on what she was saying. "I, uh- I can't.  Maybe another time, though."

"Oh!  Sure, no problem…"

"I've got a meeting with Laser." I sighed, zipping off towards the great hall again.

"Really?  What about?"  She was zipping right behind me.

"I don't know.  Nothing, maybe…"

"Maybe it's about your fight.  You think?"

"What fight?"  Patch hadn't been there, I was sure – it was in the boys' dorm, she _couldn't_ have been!

She blushed, which was funny because it made her face match her hair.  "Umm…  The one with Zip."

"How do _you_ know about that?"

"I heard."  She smiled a little bit.  "All the kids are talking about it."

"They _are_?"

"Sure!  You were so brave, Enzo – Zip and Calisto are total outputs!  I can't believe you stood up to them like that."

"Oh, man!"  It was nice to know people were talking about something besides me running around naked, but if all the _cadets_ knew…

"I hope you aren't in trouble, Enzo.  It wasn't your fault!"

"Thanks.  I'm sure it'll be OK."  I tried to smile at her.  We were inside the great hall now, and I could feel Laser's presence like a giant hammer poised over my head.  "I gotta go.  I'll see ya."

"Good luck!"

"Thanks."  I waved to her and headed off down one of the hallways, trying to remember just where to go.  Bob said it was in the middle of the building, and all the hallways went out like spokes on a wheel…  Easy enough.  I followed one of the hallways all the way to the end and sure enough, there was Laser's office, at the center of everything.

Those last few steps were like I had ABCs attached to my legs.  I could barely get my feet off the ground, one after the other, as that door got bigger and bigger and I felt smaller and smaller.  I sent my mind out silently looking for Bob, trying to calm myself down so I wouldn't be a complete idiot when I got inside.

I stood outside the door for a few nanos, just taking slow, deep breaths like Bob told me and trying to get my fear and nervousness under control.  One of the things Bob said was that you couldn't make those things go away – they were natural, like breathing .  What you had to do was channel them – control them and use them for your benefit.  It sounds easy, but it's not – it's really hard, especially when you're standing outside the Headmaster's office.  At that nano, I'd rather have been just about anywhere else.


	13. Scylla and Charybdis

I knocked on the door – too softly, probably.  Sounding afraid.  Laser's voice called out after a nano.  "Yes?"

"C-cadet Matrix, Sir.  As ordered."

"Wait please, Cadet.  I'll be with you shortly."

"Yes Headmaster.  Thank you."  I hated the quaver in my voice – to my ears I sounded about 1.0 – but it was what it was, there was nothing I could do about it.  I leaned back against the wall to wait, and heard muffled voices from inside the room.

I don't think he kept me waiting very long, maybe a micro or two, but it felt like about an hour.  Half of me longed to hear him call me in and get it over with, the other half hoped he never would.  Inevitably the moment came.  "Enter please, Cadet."

"Yes, Headmaster."  I opened the door and, to my shock, Zip and Calisto were sitting on chairs facing the desk.  I stared at them for a nano, but they didn't look at me.  They didn't look happy, either, and Zip's left eye was swollen half-shut.

"Sit down, Cadet."  I whipped my eyes over to Laser – I'd forgotten he was there for a nano.  He was studying me intently with those piercing brown eyes of his, like Bob's but Bob's eyes always look like he just told a joke and he's waiting for you to laugh.  Laser's did _not_ look like that.  He studied my face and looked away to the other two guys as I sat down.

"Thank you, Headmaster."

There was silence for a few nanos, while I looked straight at the top of Laser's desk.  "Cadet Matrix, is there anything you'd like to say to these two gentlemen while we're all together?"

I glanced over quickly.  What were my options – and the consequences?  I panicked and took the safe route.  "Uh…  No, Sir.  Not really."

"Do either of you gentlemen have anything you'd like to say to Cadet Matrix?"

"No Sir." Zip said softly.

"No Headmaster." Calisto echoed.

"I see." Laser said calmly.  "You've had your say, Cadets – now I'd like to allow Cadet Matrix to have his.  You are both dismissed – for the nano."

"Yes Sir.  Thank you Sir."  They both got up and shuffled out, Zip casting one quick, hate-filled look at me as they did.  Then I was alone in the office with Laser.

I expected him to say something right away, but he didn't – he sat there and turned those eyes on me and I looked up at him and couldn't look away, and he still didn't say anything and it went on forever and ever.  "Please don't expel me, Sir!" I finally blurted out.

He raised his eyebrows a little, and I thought I saw the corner of his mouth twitch upwards.  "No one's getting expelled today, Cadet."

"Sir, I…  I-"

"Perhaps you'd like to tell me just what, exactly, prompted you to flaunt the rules of this Academy so _soon_ after your arrival?"

"S-sir?"

"I'm waiting, Cadet.  Well?"

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.  Maybe it'd be better if I couldn't see him…  "I'm very sorry, Sir.  I didn't intend for it to happen, but I got into a fight.  With Zip.  And Calisto, sort of…"

"A fight." Laser sighed.  "Do you enjoy fighting, Cadet?  Do you think it's appropriate to be fighting other Guardians when the net is still under a dire threat from Daemon?"

"_No_, Sir!  I…  I didn't start the fight, I was defending myself."  It sounded lame, even as I said it.

"Was it in reprisal for what Zip and Calisto did to you in the showers, Cadet?"

"Sir!"  My eyes popped open.  "How-"

"I'm not a _fool_, Boy!  I'm well aware that you were the victim of a hazing incident last minute, and that you refused to identify the perpetrators.  I'm also aware that you were involved in a fight this minute-end with Zip.  It doesn't take a genius to reach a conclusion, does it?"

"No, Sir." I whispered.  "But it wasn't like that, I wasn't getting even.  I just wanted them to leave me alone, and I was playing a game in the rec room and Zip hit me and told me to leave and never come back…"

"Enzo-"  I could see Laser pulling back from the nano, thinking about what he was going to say, when there was a tapping on the door and he looked annoyed.  "Yes?"

A very weak voice called from the other side.  "Headmaster?  This is, uh, Cadet Patch Sir.  May I speak with you for a nano?"

"I'm in a meeting, Cadet.  Come back tomorrow, after class, and I-"

"Sir, I-  I know you are, Sir.  That's what I want to speak with you about."  

Laser frowned, and I just sat by, stunned.  "Cadet, I'm handling this.  You can come back tomorrow."

"Please, headmaster – I really think it's important.  Please?"

Laser sighed and shook his head.  Patch had guts, I had to give her that – although maybe more guts than brains.  Still, to interrupt and not give up like that – wow.  "Very well.  Come in and say your piece."

The door slowly opened.  "Thank you, Sir.  I'm very sorry to interrupt-"

"_All _the way in please, Cadet!  And close it behind you."

"Yessir."  She walked in and looked over at me, smiled a little.  "I'm awfully sorry, Sir, it's just that I was worried that Enzo was in trouble and I thought there's something you should know."

"Whether anyone else is 'in trouble' is hardly your business, is it Cadet?"

"No Sir – it's just, I saw Calisto come out of here and I thought I should tell you something I saw, in case he lied about it."

Laser squinted and pursed his lips at her.  "Very well.  Go ahead."

Patch looked up nervously, shifting from foot to foot.  "Only, Sir…  Enzo – Cadet Matrix – and I were in a game last minute, with Calisto.  It was a role-playing game, with orcs and warriors and we had to destroy a golden ring-"

"The shareware version, Cadet Patch?" Laser sighed, the corner of his mouth twitching again.  "I haven't got all cycle."

"Sorry!  It's just, like, Enzo was totally awesome in the game, Headmaster – he knew exactly how to go about beating it while the older cadets were just going around hacking orcs and not getting us anywhere."

"Your point?  No one is accusing Cadet Matrix of being unprepared for games."

"I…  I know Sir.  But see, Enzo was really great in that game and he won it, and even though he didn't brag and act like a jerk Calisto got really mad because he won the game and I think because Enzo's kinda little.  And then when the game was over Calisto waited until Mr. Tracer left and he hit Enzo in the head and pushed him down and threatened him.  For no reason, Sir!"

"I see."

"I thought you should know, Headmaster.  Calisto totally had it in for Enzo – and Enzo never did anything to him!  He was brave and like, he really helped me 'cause it was my first game but Enzo showed me what to do and he was really smart and nice and I don't think it's fair that he's in trouble just because Calisto is an output!"  She stopped then, panting like she was out of breath.

"Well.  I'll take all that into consideration, Young Lady, when-"  There was another knocking at the door now, just as soft as the last one.  "By the User – now what?  Yes?"

"Sir?"  A faint voice.  "I'm very sorry to disturb you-"

"Then why _are_ you?"

"S-s-sorry!  I…  I wanted to talk to you.  About Enzo Matrix, Sir.  I thought-"

"Why not?  Come in then, everyone else is!" Laser scowled.  The door opened and Linux' head peeked around it.  "Yes, come in.  Join the party.  Close the door."

Linux slipped into the room, stumbling slightly, frowning when he saw Patch and going pale when he saw Laser.  He stared at him, trembling a little.  "Yes, Cadet?  Speak up – what is it?"

"Sorry Sir!  I'm, uh…  I'm Cadet Linux."

"I know who you are.  Please continue."

"Er – yeah, sorry.  I'm Enzo's roommate-"

"Again, I am aware of that.  Was there a _reason_ you interrupted this meeting?"

Linux went, impossibly, paler.  "Sorry, Sir!   I, uh…  I wanted to tell you what happened in the rec room, Sir – I was there.  In case there was any dispute."

"I see.  Interesting.  Go on, then."

"Uh…  The thing is, Sir, Enzo was minding his own business – he wasn't bothering anybody at all.  And Zip came in and hit him in the back of the head and started insulting him, Sir.  And he picked Enzo up out of his chair and pushed him and told him to leave and never come back and he even told him he wasn't a real cadet, Sir."

"Did he, now."

"Yes, Sir."  Linux looked like he would have liked to crawl into a hole and disappear, but I met his eyes and smiled a little to encourage him.  

"Anything else?"

"Yes, Sir.  He challenged Enzo to a fight, and I know Enzo didn't want to fight him, Headmaster, because he was-  He was, you know, afraid.  Because Zip is such a big guy and Enzo… isn't.  But Enzo stayed and defended himself, Sir, and it took him a while but he was even winning the fight and he punched Zip hard.  That's when Calisto held Enzo down so Zip could punch him."

Linux looked at Laser, and Laser nodded a little, silently.  Linux got an angry look on his face.  "It's not right, Sir – Zip started the whole thing and he's bigger than Enzo is, and when he couldn't beat him fair and square he got another big coward to hold Enzo down!  I…  I wish I'd helped Enzo then, Sir, but I didn't.  And there was another-  I…  Anyway, I just wanted to say something because it's not right that Enzo gets blamed for any of this.  He didn't start it."

Laser sighed and rubbed his hand over his face.  "Thank you for coming forward.  Both of you.  Of course you know it's not appropriate to interrupt me in the course of a disciplinary meeting-"

"Sorry, Sir!" Linux and Patch said simultaneously.

"I'll let it slide, this time, since both of you felt you had important information to contribute.  Rest assured, I'm a fair man – I'll take what you've said into consideration.  I'd like to continue my interview with Matrix now – run along to dinner, both of you."

"Yes, Sir." Linux said.  He looked over me and nodded, then shuffled out of the room.

Patch followed immediately behind him.  "Thank you, Headmaster.  Sorry to interrupt, Sir.  Bye, Enzo."  She grinned at me and left, closing the door behind her.

"Looks like you've made yourself some loyal friends already, Cadet."

"I guess so."  I was still a little amazed that the both of them had done that for me – I know I would've been scared to barge in on Laser.

"I'm not surprised.  Some men can inspire loyalty, some cannot.  It is not a quality that can be taught."  He leaned forward on the desk and stared at me.  "Back to the matter at hand, Enzo.  Do you disagree with anything either of those cadets said, or do you corroborate their recollection of events?"

"Uh…  Not really, Headmaster.  That's basically how it happened."

"Is there anything else you'd like to say?"

I wrung my hands and stared at the desk.  "I really wanna be a Guardian, Sir.  I'm doing the best I can and I've never, ever started a fight in my life.  I just wanted those guys to leave me alone – honest.  I didn't wanna fight and I still don't."

Laser folded his arms.  It occurred to me that he really wasn't a guy who said a whole lot – mostly he just looked at you and _thought_ about stuff, and then said just a little bit.  "Enzo, I won't pretend I'm not especially fond of you – I am.  You're an extraordinary boy – I've seen that about you from the beginning."

"Sir?"

"I'm the headmaster here, Enzo – of every cadet.  I have a responsibility to them - all of them.  I can't protect you at the expense of that, no matter how fond I am of you – I want you to understand that."

"I…I know, Sir.  I'm sorry I let you down-"

"You didn't let me down, Enzo. I just wonder if I've put you in harm's way by bringing you here."

"No, Sir!  I want to be here – I know I can do it."

"Enzo-"

"Please, Sir!  I can take care of myself.  I know I'm small and all that but I'm not weak – Bob's taught me all kinds of stuff.  Matrix too, and Mouse-"

"I know, Cadet.  But it's not easy being in your position – I guess you're finding that out."

"Yes, Sir.  I guess so."  I kicked my feet under the desk, like I used to do when I was a little kid.  "Sir?"

"Cadet?"

"You said you were the youngest cadet when you came to the Academy, didn't you?"

"I was." He smiled slightly.

I met his eyes, and now I was looking at my grandfather, not the headmaster.  "What should I _do_, Laser?  I don't want to fight – I know it's against the rules.  I don't like getting hit, either, and I don't really want to hurt anybody.  But I can't just let big guys push me around, can I?  Don't I have to stand up for myself sooner or later?  If I run away all the time I'll run out of places to run eventually and I'll get beat up anyways!"

"Enzo-"

"Was what I did _wrong_, Sir?  Did I really have a choice?  I'm sorry, I don't mean to be disrespectful-"

"You could never be disrespectful, Enzo – I know that.  I just wish I had an easy answer to your question."

"Sorry, Sir."

Laser looked really pained then, like he had sometimes when he was talking to Bob three hours earlier and they just weren't connecting with each other.  "Enzo, is it true that Calisto held you down while Zip punched you?  Is that how it happened?"

"Yes, Sir." I nodded.  "Until Quantum came in and made them stop."

"Dear User." He whispered.  "I'm sorry, Son – I'm sorry something like that could happen on my watch."  He stood and walked around the desk with his hands behind his back.  "You'd think that as the headmaster of this place I'm in a position of power – but I'm not.  In the end you kids will do what you want to do, and there's not much I can do about it.  No more than I could with my son.  At best I can give a push, sometimes…"

I could hear him standing behind me, hear his slow, even breaths.  I turned in my chair and looked up at him.  "Was it wrong, Sir?  What I did?"

"No.  It wasn't wrong, Son.  Sometimes a fight will find you, no matter how much you'd rather avoid it."

"What should I _do_, Sir?"  I know I sounded pretty pathetic, but that's how I felt.  Deleted if I fight, deleted if I don't.

"Your best, Enzo." Laser said softly.  "If I didn't believe in you I wouldn't have brought you here.  I hope I'm not asking too much of you – it might have been better to wait-"

"No, Sir.  Please – this is where I want to be."

He smiled sadly.  "Don't expect everything to be fair, Son.  Being smart and decent and courageous should be enough, but sometimes it isn't.  Some people will never accept you – all they'll see is that you're small and you're the son of a Guardian and they'll assume you couldn't succeed on your own.  Under better circumstances I'd have never asked this of you – you'd have been training with children your own age.  But this is war…"  He gently put his calloused hand on top of my head and left it there.

"I'll be all right.  Maybe they'll leave me alone, now.  Quantum scared them pretty good."

"Perhaps.  I'll be watching, I promise you – but I can't be watching all the time.  Be careful."

I nodded.  "Uh, Sir…  May I ask a question?"

"Of course."

"Just so I know – what did Zip and Calisto say happened?  Did they lie about it?"

Laser grunted.  "Zip denied hazing you – he said they had nothing to do with it.  He said you wanted to play a machine he was using and you punched him in the face while he wasn't looking."

I gasped.  "No!  That's not true!"

"Enzo-"

"Look!"  I pulled up my uniform and showed him the bruise on my stomach.  "I didn't do that to myself, Sir.  I know, we-  we're…  I know we know each other but I promise I'm telling the truth!"

Laser didn't say anything right away, he just stood there with his hand on my head and staring at the bruise on my stomach and he looked older all of a sudden.  Feeling silly, I let my shirt drop and looked down.  "It's funny – in all the time I spent with Bob, growing up – not nearly as much as I should – I don't ever remember him lying to me.  Not even a silly little boy lie about stealing a cookie or something…"

He stroked my forehead with his thumb a few times, and slowly took his hand off my head and sat behind his desk again.  "You're Bob's son.  I know you're telling me the truth – and the loyalty of your friends does you credit.  And I'll tell you man-to-man, in your position I doubt I'd have reacted differently."

I smiled and he smiled back, a little.  It was nice to hear him say 'man-to-man', not to mention 'Bob's son'.   "That's Laser telling you that, Enzo.  As Headmaster, I'm telling you that fighting is against the rules – period.  As the evidence supports your claims of self-defense we'll consider this a verbal warning and I won't note it on your permanent record."

"Thank you, Sir."  I breathed a deep sigh of relief.

"And now I'll tell you something, both as Headmaster and as Laser – if Quantum hadn't walked in on you, you could have been beaten badly – seriously injured.  Do you understand that, Son?"

"Someone else might have stopped them, if they saw what was happening.  There were other cadets there-"

"Maybe.  Maybe not.  Not much to hang your hopes on, is it?"

"No." I said softly.  "I know it could have been really bad."

"Just be careful, all right?  Please – be careful."

"I will, Sir.  What will happen to Zip and Calisto?"

"Their punishment is none of your concern, Cadet."

"Sorry, Sir!"

Laser sighed wearily.  "They'll be punished, I promise you.  Hazing is a very serious matter, and as for the fighting…  There are limits to what I will tolerate.  I can't punish cowardice, but cowardice is it's own punishment, in the end."

"Yes, Sir."  I knew then that we – both of us – were in a similar bind.  He had to punish them, but punishing them would bring a set of problems all its own.  I knew it would make Zip and Calisto hate me even more.  And Laser knew he couldn't protect me, any more than Mouse or Ray or anyone else.

"That's all for today, Enzo.  Go on and get yourself some dinner, now – you're a growing lad."

"Thank you."  I stood up and saluted and he saluted back, and even though I know it wasn't appropriate I smiled at him.  I couldn't help it, I still saw a little of Bob whenever I looked at him and besides, he looked miserable.

Laser chuckled and slapped me on the shoulder.  "Go on, then.  And be careful – keep your cool, whatever happens, and you'll be all right."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome, Son.  Dismissed."  I saluted again and left him on his office, and it was weird but right then I kinda felt sorry for him.  He seemed like he had a lots of things he regretted.  And a lot of doubts in his processor.  Maybe I just understood him a little better than I had.

When I got back to the main entrance hall Zip and Patch were waiting for me.  I smiled when I saw them and waved.  Patch immediately ran over to me, looking worried.  "Enzo!  What happened, is everything OK?"

"Yeah – I guess.  Crash, you guys – thanks!  What happened?"

"After we talked I thought maybe I'd wait for you – see if you were OK." Patch said softly.  For some reason she was blushing.  "And then I saw Calisto come out of Laser's office and I got worried."

"Thanks." I grinned.  Linux was sort of leaning against the wall, silently.  "You too, Buddy – that was awesome!"

"Oh, uh – thanks." 

"Why'd you do it, Dude?"

He shrugged.  "I dunno.  I felt really bad about what happened…  You know.  And I wanted to make sure someone else backed up your story.   You're a really good guy and I owed you big time after-" he looked over at Patch.  "I owed you."

I held out my hand.  "We're even now.  That was totally high density, walking into Laser's office like that.  Both of you."

"Maybe." Linux smiled awkwardly and shook my hand.

"You were so great to me in that game – I guess I owed you, too." Patch said.  "You were so nice to me, and Calisto was such a jerk…"

"So – you're not expelled, are you?" Linux asked.

"No.  I got a warning."

"What about those two nulls?"

I shrugged.  "Dunno.  Guess it's not up to me – whatever happens, they'll be even madder than before."

Linux paled again.  "I hope they just leave you alone."

"Me too!  I don't wanna fight 'em again, I know that much."

"You shouldn't even have got a warning!  None of this was your fault!"

"I know, Patch.  But it might've been even worse except for you guys.  And Laser's just doing his job – I broke the rules."

"Dude – you call him Laser?"

"Um – no, 'course not!  I call him Headmaster, but Laser's his name so I guess I say it sometimes when I talk about him."  The last thing in the net I needed was sprites finding out I was Laser's 'grandson' – being Bob's kid had gotten me in enough trouble already.   I was eager to change the subject.  "So, uh…  You guys know each other?"

"We just met in the office." Patch shrugged.  "We decided to wait for you."

"Right." Linux said softly.

"You wanna go get some food?  I'm starving!"

"Good idea!" he nodded eagerly.

"Let's do it."  There was only one mess where we could all eat together, and we were already in the building so it was an easy choice.  I was still a little amazed that Linux and especially Patch had done what they did – it was amazing what you'd do for a sprite you hardly knew, sometimes.  We were bonded, now – when you put yourself on the line for somebody that says more than any words can.

Once we'd all gotten our food and sat down at one of the round tables I finally found myself starting to relax after the meeting with Laser.  "Thanks again you guys.  You might've saved my butt in there."

"Laser wouldn't have come down too hard on you." Linux said.  "I bet he's smart enough to know it wasn't your fault."

"He's smart – but it would still have been my word against theirs.  You guys are both totally alphanumeric."

"Thanks." Patch said, blushing again.  Maybe it was just a redhead thing.

"I owed you.   After before."

I punched Linux in the shoulder.  "No way, Dude.  We're buds now – gotta stick together, right?"

"Sure." He smiled tentatively.  He turned to Patch and now _he_ started blushing, too.  "So, uh…  Where are you from?"

"We lived in the Supercomputer, before Daemon."

"Really?  That's so cool – us too!  We-  Oops!"  Linux knocked his energy shake over, and it spilled all over the table.  "Crash!"

"No biggie."  I dashed over the counter and grabbed a handful of napkins.  "No problem, I got it."

"Thanks." He sighed.

"Wanna get another one?"

"Naw – I'd prob'ly spill that one too."

I giggled.  "You crack me up sometimes."  I turned and was a little surprised to find Patch was staring at me.  Kinda gave me the jaggies.  "Uh – what's up?"

"Nothing." She smiled.  "I'm just really grateful for how you helped me in that game.  I know I was basic-"

"Naw – you weren't basic.  You shoulda seen _me_ in my first game – I was pathetic!"

"You're just being nice."

"No, I'm not!"

"You're always so nice…"

"Uh – thanks.  But it's no biggie – Bob was really nice to me when I first started going into games, and I know I wasn't very good either.  Not that _you_ aren't good, I mean-"

"You're awesome."

"Uh…  Thank you.  But, uh, you really helped me out today, so..."

"I'd help you anytime, Enzo."

"Thanks."  She was still looking at me for some reason.  I looked over at Linux, just for a break, but he was staring at the table, stirring his food.  "Not hungry?"

"Hmmm?"

"You didn't seem to be eating."

"Oh!  Sorry."  He took a couple bites of food.

"You don't have to eat just 'cause I told you!" I laughed.  "I'm not your mother."

"That's so sweet – you're worried about him." Patch sighed. 

"I'm not worried! I just noticed he wasn't eating, that's all."

Linux sighed deeply.  "I think I am gonna take off, actually – I'm _not_ very hungry.  I'll see you back at the room, OK?"

"You OK, Dude?"

"Yeah – I'm cool.  See ya back there."

"Uh - all right.  Maybe we can go down and watch a quicktime if you don't have too much homework."

"Yeah – we'll see, I'm kinda tired.  C ya back there."

" C ya."

"Bye, Patch.  Nice meeting you."

She didn't look up.  "Uh huh."

"That's weird – he seems low-res all of a sudden.  I wonder why."

"You're a really good friend, being so concerned about him." Patch sighed, patting my hand.

I shrugged.  "Just weird, that's all."  I want back to my dinner, which was starting to get cold.  "So - how long did you live in the Supercomputer?"

"Till I was 1.0 – then we had to go away.  My Dad was a Guardian, but now he's infected."

"Mmmmf.   Man – I'm sorry.  We'll get him back some cycle…"

"I hope so.  I miss him."

"Yeah, I know how it is.  My folks are deleted."

"Oh!  Poor thing!  Was it Daemon?"

"Actually, no – they were gone a long time before Daemon."  There was a tap on my shoulder, and I spun and tensed, my processor spinning into turbo mode.  I guess by this point I was expecting the worst whenever anything unexpected happened.

"Hey." It was a cadet I didn't know, a smallish black-haired guy maybe 1.8.  "You're Matrix?"

"Enzo Matrix, yeah." I said, still on full alert.

He nodded.  "Just wanted to let you know – I heard about what happened in the rec room.  And I _saw_ Zip.  Good job."

"Oh!  Thanks – I guess."

Yeah." The kid smiled.  "I know about what happened in the showers, too – and it took guts to stand up to that ouput Zip.  I've been wanting to hit him for the last hour."

"Dude – really?"

"He's a null – a real CGA display.  Like I said, good job."

"Thanks.  I didn't start it – he did."

"He always does."  The kid shook my hand and walked off.

"You're a hero, Enzo!" Patch grinned.

"If Quantum hadn't saved my bitmap I'd be a _deleted_ hero."

"Crash that – you could take those nulls anytime."

"One at a time, I might have a chance.  Not two against one."  For some reason her talking about me like that was making me distinctly uncomfortable.  Still, it was nice to know I'd earned a little respect among the masses.

"You're so modest."  Patch smiled and squeezed my arm.  "I bet you would've kicked their asciis if you'd got really mad-"

"No!"  I said it louder than I expected and she looked a little stunned for a nano.  "Patch, I got real lucky – even Laser said so.  They were beating me up and if someone hadn't stopped it, I could've been hurt really bad.  As it is I got a bruise on my stomach and the next thing they were gonna pound on was my face."

I felt bad – she still looked hurt.  I stared down at my tray.  "Sorry – I didn't mean to yell like that.  But I'm a little guy, and even if I wasn't it's still not smart going around looking for fights.  Bob taught me that."

"I'm sorry…  I didn't mean to-"

"It's OK.  Sometimes a fight will find you, no matter how much you'd rather avoid it.  I guess that's what happened to me.  But I don't want to fight anymore – not outside of games, anyway!  I hope I don't have to."

"Yeah – I guess I hope so, too.  Maybe they'll leave you alone now."  

"Maybe."  I smiled and quickly wolfed down the rest of my food.  "I'm gonna take off – see if Linux is OK, he was acting weird.  See you tomorrow."

"Oh!  OK…  Do you, uh…  You wanna have lunch, maybe?"

"Can't – I sorta have plans for lunch."  She looked so depressed when I said it I felt sorry for her – maybe she hadn't made any friends yet.  "But I'll see ya in Game Sprite class, OK?  We'll talk and stuff."

"OK.  We'll talk."

"Cool.  Uh, Patch?  Thanks again for tonight – you really saved my bitmap, you were awesome."

She brightened a little.  "No problem – happy to do it.  I hope those nulls get what they deserve."

"Me too."  I waved at her and took off for the dorms.

Linux was in bed when I got back, staring at the ceiling with his hands behind his head.  "Hey." He said listlessly when I walked in.

"Hey."  I grabbed his desk chair and sat down next to his bed.  "What's up there that's so interesting?" 

"Nothin'."

"Goofball."  I frazzed his hair up and laughed, but he didn't seem to be in a joking mood.  "Wanna go downstairs and hang out?"

"Naw – you go ahead.  I got a lot of homework to do."

He wasn't _doing _homework, but I decided to let that go.  "Nah – I'll hang out."  I leaned back and put my feet up on the bed, boots and all.  No sisters around to tell me not to.  "What's wrong, Dude?"

"Nothing.  Just tired, I guess."  He rolled towards the wall.

I knew exactly what his mood was, all of a sudden – I'd seen it often enough when I was _in_ it.  Linux was feeling sorry for himself.  I racked my processor trying to figure out why.  "Thanks for busting into the Headmaster's office, Linux."

"Sure, no problem."

"Saved my ascii.  That took a lot of guts, Man – weren't you scared?"

He shrugged without turning back to me.  "Maybe a little.  But like I said – I owed you.  I screwed you royally before."

"No way."  Maybe he was bummed about not sticking up for me in the rec room, not letting me back in the room after the shower catastrophe.  I patted his shoulder.  "Don't feel bad.  Those guys are really scary – it wasn't your fault, they could have hurt you pretty bad.  Besides – you really came through in the clutch."

"Yeah.  Whatever."

"C'mon.  You OK?"

"Yeah, I'm fine.  Thanks."  He finally rolled over and looked at me.  "So what'd you and Patch talk about?"

"Patch?  Nothing much – just about Zip and Calisto and stuff.  No biggie."

"Oh."

I frowned.  "Sure you're OK?"

"Yeah."

 "Cool.  Sure you don't wanna go down and watch a vidscreen or something?"

"No, I'm just gonna do homework.  I don't wanna fall behind."

"K." I sighed.  I grabbed my organizer and flopped down on my bed.  "You output – I don't wanna hang out by myself, so now _I_ hafta do homework too!"

Linux giggled, finally, and opened his organizer.  "Sorry, nullface."  I wadded up a pair of dirty socks and beaned him with them.  "Hey!"

"Sorry – thought you were my hamper."

"You're really disgusting, you know what?"

"I'm devastated."

"Maybe if you washed your feet once in a while…"  The socks flew back across the room and I ducked them.

"Anyone ever tell you ya throw like a girl?"

"Byte me hard."

"Output."

"Tandy."

"Whatever."  We stared at each other for a nano, then both busted out laughing.  "Dude – you crack me up sometimes!"  Linux shook his head and fell back in bed, and we both did our homework.  Most of it, anyways.


	14. Secrets

Classes were going pretty OK for me by this point – to my great relief I was discovering that a lot of what Bob had taught me was really useful now.  I had a head start over the other first-hours in a lot of ways, and I was glad of it.  And really grateful to Bob for giving me the chance to learn when I was probably too young and scatterbrained to deserve it.  But hey – I _had_ learned stuff, 'cause I was remembering it now – and in classes like Intro to Game Sprites and Virus Identification it really helped.  I was acing them.

The other classes – the regular school-type ones – were a lot harder.  I'd never been all that great at those at home and they were where I was having a hard time concentrating now.  I'd be sitting in Fortran or Algebra and thoughts of home and Lisa and Zip would tend to creep in and before I knew it, I had no idea what the teachers were saying.  

Fortunately for me Linux is pretty smart about that stuff, and he helped me a lot when I started to get behind.  Since I knew a lot more about games than he did I helped _him_ out with _those_ classes, so it kind of evened out between us.  Laser said we were a good match, and it turned out he was right in a lot of ways.  More on that later.

Games were good, too – another cube dropped and I got to go in with three cadets I didn't know and Mr. Bernoulli.  It was a pretty easy game – Center Ice IX, the hockey game with the quicksand patches hidden under the ice and the exploding pucks.  I rebooted as goalie but I didn't mind – I always liked playing goalie, 'cause you can watch everything happening on the ice in front of you and everyone is depending on you to keep the team in the game.

Playing games is nothing new for me but it's still fun, and being on a team with four other sprites was different than what I'd grown up with in Mainframe.  We played other team games, too – not the game cube kind.  We'd go out on the fields and play soccer or football or softball, just to keep us in shape and get us used to being a team and working together.  And to have fun, too – at the Academy it was OK to have fun, as long as you didn't let your teammates down.  

One thing I thought about a lot was what Mouse had told me – about how I might not be old enough to keep my priorities in order when it came to Lisa and my classes.  Well, I _really_ wanted to prove she was wrong about that – show her and everyone else that I was old enough to worry about stuff like girls and still take care of my responsibilities.  It's not like Bob and Dot and Matrix and Andri aren't mooning over each other all the time, and they still manage to keep Mainframe from being deleted.

I have to be honest, though – I'm glad Mouse said that to me when she did, because there were times when I felt myself really starting to lose my focus when she'd pop up in a thoughtwindow, real as life – _"You might not be old enough to keep your priorities in order." _  Crash, it was _tough_!  I thought about Lisa _all_ the time, either a little bit at the edge of my processor or a lot, eating up my whole brain.  We saw each other at lunch every cycle, but the scraggy thing was we didn't get that much time after classes during the minute – we had lights out at thirty-hundred, our dorms were off-limits to each other, and Lisa was a pretty serious student, too.

The worst thing of all was that we couldn't really do anything on campus without worrying about someone seeing us – sometimes we'd hold hands for a little bit, but that was about it.  User, I thought about kissing her and hugging her and it wasn't easy to stop myself from doing it, sometimes.  I dreamed about her every night, seems like, and the dreams were so real sometimes that when I woke up I was _sure_ they'd actually happened.  It was pretty intense, I can tell you – like an actual pain in my body from wanting so much to be with her.

When the minute ended I don't think my feet touched the ground all the way back to my dorm after my last class, and I wasn't even using my zip board.  Lisa and I were gonna have dinner in the town again, and that meant we were off campus, and maybe we'd walk around after we ate and find a nice quiet spot somewhere.  That would be better than dinner.

When I was in my room, getting ready to go, I made a decision – I was gonna break out my surfboard.  I hadn't used it since I arrived, for a lot of reasons – mostly because I didn't want to do anything to stand out and make it that much more likely I'd get picked on.  But I'd had a couple of good cycles without any problems in that area and besides I thought maybe it would impress Lisa a little bit, so I decided to go for it.

I wore a shirt I'd never worn before, one Dot uploaded for my birthday.  It was a black button-up shirt with a collar, and Dot said it looked really good on me, not like I could tell.  It was a kinda grown-up style, though – not like what I usually wore when I wasn't in uniform.  Which was still most of the time, by the way – I love that thing.  But I thought, this once, I'd try and look older and if I kept telling myself I was 1.7, maybe I'd act like it.

So I 'booted into my snazzy shirt and my nicest jeans and I grabbed my board and tucked it under my arm, and headed out the door with a wave to Linux.  Linux always looked like a drowned null whenever I was going out to meet Lisa, and it made me feel really bad.  Not bad enough to ask him to come with us, though.

I was on the ground floor headed for the main doors right as Quantum was walking in.  It was the first time I'd seen him since he'd saved my ascii, and I still wasn't completely sure what to make of that file.  I was really grateful to him but still kinda scared of him, too.  He was so strong and not only that, he _knew_ he was tough – you could just tell.  If I was gonna use a big word like Dot does I'd call him formidable – that's what he was.  Not someone you wanted to mess with.

He eyed me and when I got a few steps away from him I smiled nervously and stopped.  "Hey."

He nodded back.  "Hey, Sprout.  What the heck is that thing?"

My board!  "Uh…  It's a surfboard.  You know - transport."

"Oh yeah – I've seen Ray Tracer cruisin' around on one of those a couple times.  Looks like fun."

"Er – yeah, kinda.  It's cool.  His is a lot more sophisticated than mine, though."

"He give that to you?"

I blushed.  "Yeah.  He and, uh, Mouse did.  For my birthday a couple hours ago."

Quantum chuckled and shook his head.  "You and your friends in high places, Kid!"

"No big deal, he-"

"Chill!  I don't care, I was just asking.  Big night on the town?  Hot date?"

I giggled.  "N-no – just having dinner.  Y'know – no classes tomorrow and everything…"

"Yeah, well – don't stay out all night, Sprout."

"No!  I won't."

"Good." He chuckled again. "If you get back in time, stop by my room – 115.  Couple guys are comin' over, we're gonna hang out.  About twenty-nine-hundred, something like that."

I gaped at him for a nano.  Was he inviting me to a _party_?  Puny little rugrat me?  "Uh…"

"Maybe I'll see ya."  He popped me on the shoulder and I gritted my teeth, trying not to wince.  "Later, Kid."

"Later.  I, uh…  I'll be there!"

"You do that."  I stared after him for a nano, rubbing my shoulder.  Basic – Quantum inviting me to a party!  That was the last thing in the net I expected to happen.  I thought about calling after him to see if I could invite Linux, but he was on the elevators and the doors were closing and besides, I didn't want to press my luck.

I tossed my board out in front of me and hopped on.  It felt strange, at first – it'd only been a couple of minutes since I surfed but I was rusty, and the surfboard was totally different than a zip board.  So much faster, quieter, and so much more sensitive to every move you make.  At first I tried to control it like a zip, just out of habit, and ended up making some wild, out-of-control turns.  I decided to practice for a few millis before I headed over to the girls' dorm, just so I wouldn't look like a total geek in front of Lisa.

Once I'd more or less gotten my feel back I took a big looping turn and headed towards the girls' dorm.  A few cadets stared at me as I surfed through the campus and that made me a little self-conscious, but it felt really good to be back on my board.  It felt like home – Mainframe I mean - 'cause that was the only place I'd ever ridden it.  Maybe this place was even starting to feel like home, a little, if my mood was just right.

Lisa was waiting for me outside the dorm, dressed in burgundy slacks and a shirt or blouse or something with puffy sleeves.  I dunno how she did it, but every color she picked seemed to work perfectly for her.  Maybe I'm biased.  I waved to her and turned a little more sharply than I probably had to and glided to a perfect stop right in front of her.  "Hey!"

"Hey!" she grinned.  "Where in the net did you get this?"

"What – my board?  Ray and Mouse gave it to me when I turned 1.0.  Cool, huh?  Like it?"

"Yeah – it's graphical."  She ran her hand over the board, right by my feet.  "You're full of surprises, aren't you?"

"I guess.  User – you look really beautiful."

"Thank you!"

I held out my hand.  "I thought maybe we could ride to town on this – that is, if you don't mind.  It's really fun!"  So much for acting 1.7 – being close to Lisa I was about 1.1 again.

"Cool!"

She took my hand.  "You better stand behind me 'cause otherwise I, uh, won't be able to see around you."  I gave a tug and she hopped onto the board behind me.  "Grab my waist and hang on tight, OK?  This thing doesn't come with a parachute!"

"OK!" Lisa laughed. 

I was very aware of her hands on my waist.  I hadn't thought of that.  "Uh… All set?"

"All set."

"I'll go kinda slow, OK?  And I won't go too high up or anything."

"Go as high as you like!"

"Here we go…"  I grinned over my shoulder and took off, slower than slow.  I realized now that this was the first time I'd ever steered with someone else on the board, which probably made it kinda stupid for me to be doing what I was doing since it totally changed the way the board felt under me and reacted on the turns and stuff.  But I was committed…

"Kick it out!" Lisa giggled.  "Don't worry about me, I'm not scared!"

"K!"  I sped up a little, avoiding any sharp corners or anything.

"Graphical!  This is a total blast!"

"Yeah – it's pixelacious!" I shouted back, and it _was_.  It felt awesome up there, sharing something I really loved with Lisa.  I almost fell off the board, though, when I felt a quick kiss on my cheek.  "Uh…  Thanks!"

"Hey!"

I looked around, trying to find the source of the voice.  Off to my left I saw two figures on a surfboard headed towards us.  I slowed to a hover.  "Hey."

"What's all this, then?" Mouse grinned, gripping Ray tightly by the waist.  

I felt myself blushing, wondering if they'd seen the kiss.  "Hi Mouse.  Hey, Ray.  This is uh, my friend.  Lisa."

"Pleasure to meet you, Lovely Lady." Ray took Lisa's hand and kissed it regally.  That made Lisa giggle like crazy.

"Hey there, Darlin'.  You two goin' off for a night on the town?"

"We're having dinner and stuff.  You know." I smiled, trying to hide my nervousness.

"Stuff, huh?"

"Looking pretty good on that board, Lad.  You sure you're ready for passenger service?"

"I'm being careful, Ray.  Taking it nice and slow."

"You be sure and do that, Handsome." Mouse chuckled.  

"You two are Enzo's friends?" Lisa asked, sounding a little awed.

"We gave him that board, back in Mainframe when he was a nipper." Ray smiled.  "Haven't seen much of you since then, have we Kiddo?"

"Not enough.  Like twice in three hours before I came here."

"Is the little devil sweepin' you off your feet, Honey?" Mouse asked slyly.

"Mouse!  We're just friends, stop it..."  This was more than a little awkward for me – I mean, technically speaking me and Lisa weren't doing anything wrong but even so, Mouse and Ray were teachers as well as friends.  I wasn't sure just exactly where we stood with all this.

"He's trying.  He's a charmer." Lisa giggled.  I doubt very much my face could have gotten any redder.

"Well – you friends enjoy your supper." Mouse smiled.  "Remember our chat, Pumpkin – you hear me?"

"I will Mouse – promise."

"All right, then.  Have fun, you two."

"You two too."  Ouch!  Geek city…

"Nice to meet you, Lovely Lady.  Maybe we'll see you in town."  Ray flashed a dazzling grin and bowed, and he and Mouse took off towards the city.

"Wow – he can really ride that board." Lisa whistled.

"Yeah, well – he's the surf baud.  He gave me some lessons back home but I'm nowhere near as good as he is."

"What a stud!  I wish I had a class with _him_."

"Oh, Uh…  Next hour I guess."  I'd always known Ray was an unbelievably cool guy, but this was the first time I realized just how _uncool_ I looked compared to him.

"I still like _you_ better though." Lisa giggled.  "Are we surfing or not?  I'm getting hungry!"

"Sorry!"  I gave the board a kick and we took off again, and I resisted the urge to try and surf like Ray.  I guess my desire to show off for Lisa was less than my terror of wiping out and smearing us all over the sidewalk.  Once I got off campus and we made a straight line towards town, though, I was able to get up some pretty good speed.  I felt the wind in my hair and Lisa's hands on my hips and heard her laughing and giggling in my ear and felt like the luckiest kid that ever compiled.

Dinner was nice – we had baud burgers and ram chips and energy shakes and sometimes while we were eating I'd reach over and touch Lisa's hand and she'd smile and not say anything.  After dinner we held hands and walked around the streets, looking in a few shops even though I was really only paying attention to Lisa anyway.  I was already thinking about where we were gonna go afterwards.

There was a little park near the edge of town, just a few directory trees and some grass and benches and a little data pond.  It was small but it was nice – quiet and not crowded and when it was dark, I suggested that we walk through there and Lisa giggled and said OK.  So we walked through the park and I spotted a nice bench under a tree near the pond.  I steered Lisa over there and we sat down.

"Why Enzo." She grinned.  "I think you're starting to have a one-track processor."

"What?"

"Nothing.  It's all right."

"I just like being with you." I sighed.  "Just us.  You're incredible."

"Enzo…"  She brushed my hair out of my eyes.  "I just can't believe how sweet you are sometimes."

"It's true.  You _are_."

She kept brushing her fingers through my hair, driving me offline.  "You look very handsome tonight, Enzo."

"Really?"

"Sure!  I've never seen you dressed up before.  It's nice."

"I…  I don't do it very often."  I resolved right then and there to do it more often from now on.

"If you want.  It's not important."

"If you like it, I will."

"Stop that!" she giggled.  "I like you just fine any way you dress.  You look cute in your uniform, too."

"Thanks."  I started to brush my hand through her gold hair too, just to see if it felt as good as hers did in mine.  It did.  "Uh – Lisa?"

"Hmmm?"

"Could I kiss you?  Is it OK?"

"Hmmm.  Let's see...  Yes – I think so!"

"Alphanumeric!"  I grinned and she grinned back, and I pursed my lips and went in to kiss her but I guess I got anxious and we were going too fast, and our noses bumped.  "Oof!"

"Sorry!" Lisa giggled.

"Omigosh – you OK?"

"Fine!"

"Sorry.  Can I…  Can I try again?"

"Please do."  I took a deep breath and inched forwards, a lot slower this time.  Kisses always seem better when they're slow, anyways.  I didn't really plan it but my hands went out and I held her cheeks real softly, and I was still holding her when I tilted my head and our lips touched and my processor exploded.  It was amazing.

"Wow." I gasped.

"That was nice." Lisa purred, and she put her hands on my neck and drew me in again and my hands were still on her cheeks, so we were touching with all our hands when we kissed again, and it was even more incredible than the last time, maybe.  And I discovered that if I pulled away just a little we could take tiny little breaths and rest our lips for a nano and then go right back to kissing again, and that way we could kiss forever with only a little break so it was almost like one long kiss.  I'm surprised it wasn't daylight again by the time we were finished.

"Cursors and crashes…"

"You sure you've never kissed anyone before?" Lisa whispered, smiling.  Her lipstick was smeared a little.

"No!"

"Could've fooled me."  She kissed me on the cheek and put her head on my shoulder and I wrapped my arms around her.  "Tell me about Mainframe.  What's it like?"

"It's amazing." I sighed, still feeling very light-headed.  Too light-headed to talk long, actually.  "Hey – you promised you'd tell me about where _you_ came from next time."

"Oh, Enzo…"

"C'mon – tell me!  I really wanna know about you.  Please?"

"It's not very interesting."

"Everything about you is interesting.  Besides – I told you all kinds of stuff about me, so it's only fair."

"Hmmm."  She shifted around a little, sort of settling herself down in my arms.  "I guess you're right, Cutie.  What do you want to know?"

What _didn't _I?  "Everything.  Anything you want.  I don't even know where you came from."

"My home system is called Wozniak.  Ever heard of it?"

"Uh…  I think so.  Sure, yeah!"

Lisa giggled.  "You don't have to lie to me, Enzo – there's no reason you should have.  It's nothing special."

I bet I blushed, but she couldn't see me.  "Sorry!  I guess I haven't.  Is it nice?"

"It's home." She sighed.  "I grew up there.  It's a small system with ports to the net, like a thousand others.  But I could show you a lot of special places you'd never know about unless you'd lived there your whole life."

"Yeah." I whispered, thinking of Mainframe.  "Maybe I'll get to see it some cycle."

"Maybe.  I'd love that."

"Uh…  If you guys had ports to the net, how come you weren't, you know – infected?"

Lisa stiffened for a nano, but then she looked up and smiled.  "My Mom.  She's a hacker – one of the best.  She set up security protocols and safeguarded the URLs.  So we've been lucky so far.  We joined the alliance of free systems and that's how I found out the Academy was online."

"Super cooled!  I bet her and Mouse could have some interesting chats – she's the best hacker I've ever seen."

"So I hear!  Maybe my Mom will come for a visit sometime and they can compare notes."  Lisa sat up and kissed my cheek.  "I want her to meet you, too."

"Really?"

"Sure, Cutie."

"Wow."  I kissed her on top of the head, which was starting to become one of my new favorite things to do.  "Bob and Dot are coming next semester, he's gonna teach a class – so you can meet _them_ then!"

"Graphical.  What class?"

"Web survival skills.  I guess we'll both be taking it." Lisa stiffened again, just a little.  "What's the matter?"

"Nothing." She said softly.  "How…  How does Bob know about web survival?"

"Uh…"  Another unpleasant part of my past – it seemed like there was no end to those, sometimes.  Except it wasn't even really _my_ past.  "He was trapped out there, I guess.  Megabyte – he's a virus – shot him out there and closed the portal, and he was lost for a long time.  My br-…  Uh, he found his way home finally.  But he had to survive out there for a long time.  I don't ask him about it very much…"

"Wow."  Lisa hugged me, and I hugged her, and neither of us talked for a few nanos.

"Where's your Dad?" I asked, finally.

After a few nanos of silence, she answered "Gone." in a soft voice.  "It's just me and Mom now."

"I'm really sorry."

"I feel bad about leaving her all alone.  I hope she doesn't get too lonely."

"You don't have any brothers or sisters or anything?"

"No." she sighed.  "Just me.  But Mom's got plenty to keep her busy, I guess – trying to keep the system safe and all.  She's an amazing sprite."

"Sounds like it."  I kissed Lisa's head again.  "Sorry about your Dad.  I know what that's like."

Lisa didn't answer me – she didn't say anything for a long time.  I didn't either – I just petted her hair a few times and let her think about whatever she was thinking about.  I knew what missing parents was like.  Finally she sat up and turned to face me.  "I really like you, Enzo.  You know that?"

Naturally that felt really good to hear – although after a nano I started to worry about why she was saying it.  "Lisa, that's…  That's alphanumeric!  I really like you too."

She smiled and kissed me on the nose, then sighed again.  "You can't ever tell _anyone_ what I'm gonna tell you now, OK?  I mean it  - not anyone!"

"What?  I…  I won't tell-"

"Promise me.  It's important"

I gaped at her.  "Sure – I promise.  I'll never tell anybody."

"Enzo…  If you don't like me anymore after I tell you, that's OK.  I won't blame you.  But even if you hate me you still can't tell."

"Lisa!  I'll like you, I promise!  I'll always like you, you're incredible-"

"Don't be so sure."  She looked away from me, down at the ground.  "It's wrong for me to even tell you – it's not fair to ask you not to tell.  But I like you and I really want to tell _someone_…"

"What?  What is it?  It can't be that bad…"

"Oh, Enzo…"  She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.  "You remember how I said my father was gone?"

"Sure."

"Well, he _is_ – but he's not deleted.  He might be, I guess – I haven't seen him in four hours."

"You…  You mean he just left?  That's terrible!  But it's not your fault-"

"Enzo!  Just hush, let me talk, OK?"

"Sorry."

"He _did_ leave.  I've only seen him a couple times, since I was born. Four hours ago was the last one.  Enzo, my father-  He's…"

"What?  What is it?"

"Enzo, he's a Codemaster."

"What?" I gasped.  

"Yes.  Have you ever seen one?"

"No, but I…  Yes, sort of."  My mind was racing – I'd heard about Lens and the run-in he had with Bob, and he sounded pretty scary.  But then there was Mister Pearson, too – although he wasn't really a Codemaster anymore, I guess.  "You mean he went back to the net and you haven't seen him since?"

"No." Lisa whispered.  "Not to the net, Enzo."

I frowned, totally confused.  Then it hit me.  "No!"

"Oh, Enzo.  I shouldn't have told you-"

"No!  It's…  It's all right.  I just-"

"I'm sorry I told you, Enzo.  I wanted to tell someone and I guess I thought you should know.  I'm sorry."

"Lisa, I…  He's from the web?  And he's your father?  What happened?"

She smiled sadly.  "He visited Wozniak.  They can travel freely, you know – anywhere in the web or the net."

"Yeah – I know."

"Well – he met my mother.  I don't know what happened – Mom never told me exactly.  But I think they sort of fell in love, basic as that sounds.  And here I am."

"Wow."

"Yeah - wow.  Enzo – if the staff knew about this I'd be kicked out of the Academy, you know that!  I know you don't like me now but _please_ don't tell anyone-"

"Of course I like you!  Why wouldn't I?"

"But-"

"I won't tell.  I promised I wouldn't and I won't."  I hugged her, tightly.  I know I didn't really understand what any of this meant yet, but she was _Lisa_ and she was right there in front of me and that was all that mattered.

"Enzo, I'm different.  My father – he's part of me.  Codemasters aren't allowed to be Guardians, believe me."

"You're not one.  He was, not you."

"But he _is_ part of me, Cutie.  I wasn't even sure myself…  But the last time he came to Wozniak he…  He took me with him.  To the web."

"Dude!  You've been to the web?"

"Yes, Enzo." Lisa whispered.  She was clinging really tightly to me now, like she was cold.  "I told you – my father is part of me.  I have his code in my systems.  I can _do_ things, Enzo.  Like survive out there, in the web.  I was terrified when he took me, but I can survive it.  I can do other things, too – that's why they'd kick me out of here if they knew."

"Wow…" I gasped.  "How long were you out there?"

"Only a few cycles.  I was terrified when he took me, but it was really beautiful, in a way.  He asked me to stay with him."

"He _did_?"

"I was tempted.  The web is an amazing place, Cutie, if you can survive it.  But I couldn't – I didn't really even know my father.  I've only seen him twice in my life, Enzo.  I couldn't leave Mom, she was my real family.  I wasn't sure he would, but he let me go back.  That was four hours ago and I haven't seen him since."

I still wasn't really sure what to make of all this, to be honest.  But Lisa was still clinging to me, and she felt warm and soft and I loved being with her.  _That_ I was sure of.  "That's amazing.  I can't believe it…"

"My father…" she laughed softly.  "I don't want to be a Codemaster – they come and go as they please, and play their little games of 'High Spar' like they're so important.  I want to help protect places like Wozniak from Daemon.  Guardians are the opposite of Codemasters, Enzo – they go out of their way to get involved.  It's their life."

"I know."  And boy, did I ever.

"Codemasters never want to get involved in anything but their own little societies.  They never use their power to _help_ anyone.  I want to be a Guardian – but I can't be, not if they ever find out.  They won't _let_ me."

"I won't tell.  I'll never tell.  I swear, Lisa."

"Enzo…"  I won't deny that it felt a little different hugging her, now that I knew what I did.  Part of me was a little scared of her, but I tried not to show it.  "You really are the sweetest thing, sometimes."

"I want to tell you something, too." I said suddenly.

Lisa looked up.  "What?"

My ears burned.  "I…  I want to tell you a secret.  About me.  Since you told me something really big about you."

"Enzo, you don't have to do that-"

"I want to."  It felt right – she trusted me, I needed to show her I trusted her, too.  "I know you won't tell anyone.  It wouldn't get me expelled or anything but I'm embarrassed about it…"

"Whatever it is, it won't matter.  So you don't have to-"

"I'm a backup."

"What?" she frowned.

"I'm a backup." I sighed.  "A copy.  I'm not the original Enzo."

"Not…  The original?  I don't understand."

"I'm a backup." I whispered.  "Mainframe crashed, hours ago.  It was Megabyte – that virus I told you about.  He wasted the system, destroyed it and left it to die.  Bob engineered a system crash so the User would restart and restore the system from the backup – it was their only chance.  Matrix was there – I mean, Enzo.  But he'd been in the games for a long time and his icon was in game sprite mode-"

"Game sprite mode?  Why?"

"I'll explain later.  Anyway, the system didn't recognize his icon, so it restored _me _along with the rest of the system.  From the last backup.  So I'm a copy."

"Enzo – that's amazing!"

"So if you don't like me anymore, that's cool.  I know it's freaky-"

"What?" Lisa laughed.  "What difference does it make?"

"It makes a _lot_ of difference!  I'm not even the real Enzo Matrix!"

"But you have the same code, don't you?"

"Well – yeah.  But-"

"Don't be silly.  Kids are really just a backup of their parents anyway – a backup of _their_ code.  So it's kinda like that.  I think it's cool."

"What?"  Part of me wanted to believe her and be really relieved – and part was sure she was just trying to spare my feelings.

"Yeah – it's graphical.  I think it's great that you're here because of something amazing like that, a whole system getting saved.  That's awesome!"

"You really don't care?  You promise?" I whispered.

"Not a byte.  You're sweet and cute as a pixel and I love being with you and that's all I care about Enzo, promise."

"Lisa!"  I grabbed her and hugged her as tight as I could.  "You're amazing!"

"Ow!  Not so hard!"

"Sorry!"

She giggled.  "So now we both know something about each other.  Is there another _you _running around Mainframe?"

"Well – not exactly.  Matrix – he's the other me – he was lost in the games for a long time, and game time is faster than real time.  So he's around 2.5 now."

"Oh – that's cool.  I'm kinda glad, actually – I _like_ you being one of a kind."

"Yeah!  Thanks…"

"So you have another you at home – but he's twice as old.  That must be kinda weird."

"Yeah!" I nodded.  "It's _very_ weird – but it's not bad, now.  I just think of Matrix like a big brother and it's OK.  We fought a lot at first but now things are actually pretty good.  He's a really great guy."

"How could he _not_ be?  He's you!"

"Stop it!" I giggled.  "He really is, though – even though he's different than me in a lot of ways.  He and AndrAIa were trapped in the games for a long time, and it was really rough for him."

"Who's AndrAIa?"

"Uh…" That was an area I really hadn't planned to visit with Lisa.

"Enzo!  Come on – who is she?"

It was basic but I was really nervous, all of a sudden.  It felt funny talking to Lisa about Andri.  "AndrAIa is…  She's Matrix' friend.  They went into the game together and they were lost together.  Now they're sort of… Well, not _married_ exactly-"

"She's his girlfriend, huh?  Is she nice?"

"Oh, yeah!  She's a babe – she's really nice, and beautiful…"

"Beautiful?"

"Um…  Well – yeah, she is.  Not like you, though."

"She's beautiful, and I'm not like her.  What a nice thing to say…"

"No!" I gasped.  "Crash it, that's not what I mean!  She-"

"Oh, it's all right.  I know what you meant." Lisa sighed.

"Sorry.  I mean – I think you're totally beautiful, Lisa.  But AndrAIa is, too.  You're just different is all."

"How so?"

I could feel myself starting to sweat.  "Well, she's big for one thing."

"And that would make _me_-"

"Awww!  No, I…  Crash!  I just mean she's tall and stuff, and you know, she's a grown-up and everything so she's…  I guess-"

"Hmmm."  She smiled a little.  "You have a crush on her, huh?"

"What?"

"It's OK – I understand.  She sounds pretty graphical."

"No, she…"  I sighed, wiped my forehead with my sleeve.  "AndrAIa's the only girl I ever really knew, Lisa.  Other than my sister, I mean.  You know how there's no other kids in Mainframe, like I said.  She _is_ pretty incredible – she's beautiful and she's an amazing person.  But I've never met anyone like you."

"Hmmm.  Really?"

"Honest!  AndrAIa is awesome – but she's with Matrix.  She's just a really good friend, that's all." I knew that wasn't completely true, even as I said it – but it was _mostly_ true.  And the next part was _all_ true.  "You're totally pixelacious, Lisa – you're the most amazing girl I ever met.  You're beautiful and nice and smart and I want to be with you every nano."

"Oh, Enzo."  Lisa giggled and kissed my nose.  "Stop it.  I don't mind that you think she's beautiful – honest I don't.  You _are_ a boy, after all."

"OK." I said softly.  "You're not mad?"

"No.  And I'm glad you told me about your brother – I know it wasn't easy.  I don't know why you thought I'd _care_."

"I dunno.  Every time I think about it I just feel like a freak."

"Stop that."  She giggled and tweaked my nose.  "My little freak – that's what you are!"

"Oh, I like that a _lot_.  Very nice."  She laughed and put her head on my shoulder again.  "We're just a _couple_ of freaks, I guess…"

"Guess so."  I should have been jaggied out by what she'd told me, I know it – but if anything I actually felt _closer_ to her, basic as it sounds.  I guess it's because she trusted me enough to tell me – and 'cause I told her my secret and she didn't seem to care.  I guess being a backup or a codemaster – _half_-codemaster – is no freakier than being a game sprite or a 1.1 Guardian on your own.  Maybe it's not so bad being a freak after all, as long as you find another one who understands what it's like…


	15. The Night Before the Morning After

I was still thinking a lot about what Lisa told me for the rest of the evening, especially after I dropped her off back at the dorms and surfed home by myself.  I should have been scared and I guess I was, a little bit.  I didn't know much about Codemasters but I knew their reputation – they were bad motherboards, especially the ones from the web.  The scariest thing was probably thinking about what Dot would do to me if _she_ knew – I might never get to leave my room for the next hour.  

But that didn't matter to me – none of it.  I've always been pretty good about judging people – I think Matrix was right about how I connect with them emotionally.  It's not like something I try to do – I just _do_ it.  I trusted my senses with Lisa – and they were screaming out loud and clear that she was a good sprite.  It certainly wasn't fair to blame her for who her Dad was, and even _he_ hadn't done anything terrible to anybody that I knew about.   Well - other than walking out on her, which _was_ pretty terrible when I thought about it.  Still, I felt in my heart that she was good – I was only worried that I wasn't being totally impartial, that maybe Mouse had been right to worry about me that way.

I remembered to duck into the bathroom and wipe my cheek and my mouth and even my nose before I went back into the dorm - I didn't need any repeats of that little incident with Mouse.  I was amazed how red the towel was – it was like I'd just lost a really bad fight.  My lips were a little sore, too.  I decided I could be brave and live with the pain.

I was headed for the elevator when I saw someone duck into one of the rooms down the hallway, and heard voices and laughing.  That's when I suddenly remembered Quantum's invitation and checked my chronometer.  It was twenty-nine-fifty.  I started to feel a knot growing in my stomach.

It wasn't like I didn't want to be in there – I really did.  The only parties I'd ever been to were the kind with clowns and games and stuff, and they were parties for _me_.  The idea of going to a party with a bunch of big kids was really exciting, and if I wanted to fit in it was really _important_, too.  But I was still scared thinking about it.  I didn't have the faintest clue what to expect.  For all I knew Quantum had invited me just so he and his friends could laugh at me.

I took a deep breath and walked over to the door – room 115, I remembered.  I knocked -   too softly again, which was a bad habit I was gonna have to work on – and waited a couple of nanos.  The door opened and music spilled out and a red-haired guy with blue skin opened the door and stared at me.  "Hey."

"Who ordered a shrimp cocktail?" the kid called out, and I heard laughter.  I tried to laugh too, just to show I could take a joke.

I heard Quantum's voice next.  "Is that Enzo out there?  Let him in, move your ascii!"  The other kid stepped aside and Quantum sauntered over.  He grinned and stuck out his hand.  "Hey, Kiddo.  Welcome to paradise, otherwise known as Quantum's room.  Don't mind this ugly output – he's just my roommate.  C'mon in."

"Thanks!" I met his powerful grip with my puny one and walked into the room.  There were about eight or nine guys there, all looking like older second-hours.  Some music was playing pretty loudly, Bob-type music, guitar rock with a lot of bass that I could feel thumping in my chest.  The air was hazy and the room was dimly lit and it was absolutely like no place I'd ever been before and a strange sort of exhilaration started to course through me.

"Chill out and relax, Little Man.  If ya need anything let me know."

"Thanks."  Quantum popped me on the shoulder again and I took another look around the room.  I recognized a few faces but the only one I knew by name was Helix.  He was sitting on the bed with a glass in his hand talking with another guy, and I waved and tentatively walked towards him.  "Hi, Helix.  What's processing?"

He looked a little surprised to see me at first, but then he smiled.  "Hey, Sprout.  Getting settled in OK?"

"Yeah, I guess.  Thanks for showing me around and everything."

"NP.  Have a seat."  He gestured with his glass at the guy he was talking to. "This is Backslash.  Slash, this is the kid I was telling you about, from the rec room."

"Hey." I said meekly, waving as I sat next to Helix on the bed.

"Hey.  So you're the little guy that popped Zip, huh?"

"Oh, uh…  I guess!"

Backslash and Helix laughed.  "I wish I'd been there – I bet it was hilarious!  Wish I'd seen the look on his face."

"He started it."

"Yeah." Helix giggled.  "But _you_ finished it, Kid.  I've seen little guys crack from what those guys did to you – you got balls."

"Thanks, I guess.  I'm still sore from where he punched me in the gut, though."

"No pain, no gain, Kid."

Quantum walked over and held a small glass out to me.  "Here ya go, Little Man."

"Thanks."  I sniffed it tentatively and wrinkled my nose.  "What is it?"

"I/O shot, Sport.  The nectar of kings."

My mouth dropped open.  "Uh…."

"Go on, Kid – you'll like it.  Never had one before?"

"Um – no, I guess not…"

"You kidding?" Backslash laughed.  "He looks like he was on mother's milk till last minute!"

"No!  I'll drink it, I just never-   I don't-"

"Easy, Kid."  Quantum patted me on the shoulder.  "The trick is just to drink it down, quick.  'Boom!'  One shot.  That's why they call it an I/O _shot_."

"OK."  I smiled.  I took a look at the glass, closed my eyes and sighed.  Dot chose that very nano to pop in my head.  She didn't look happy.  I slowly raised the glass until I felt it touch my lips, held it there for a nano, and tipped it back quickly.

The first thing I remember is my mouth and throat feeling like they were on fire.  Then I remember hearing cheers, and then I was coughing for a couple of nanos and there were hands pounding my back.  I gasped and opened my eyes, and Quantum and Helix were grinning at me.  "G-good." I rasped.

"User, Sprout – you crack me up!" Quantum chuckled.   He tousled my hair roughly.  "I like you, Kid."

"Thanks." I gasped, still fighting for breath.  He winked at me and disappeared back into the haze of the room.  "Where…  Where does he get this stuff?"

"In town.  Easy as pi squared." Backslash said, reaching into his pocket.  "So - I hear you came in with Guardian 452, huh?"

"Uh – yeah."  My throat was still full of razor blades.

"And you know Mouse and Ray Tracer too?"

"Yeah.  But I earned my way in here!  Sorry…  But it's just that everyone seems to think-"

"Don't get uncompiled, Kid – I'm just askin'.  If you turned Zip's lights out you must have somethin' going on.  Here ya go." He held out his hand.

"What's this?" I knew as soon as I asked – I recognized it from Al's Waiter.  "A cigarette?"

"Sure, Kid."

"Oh, Crash…"  A cigarette! Dot _really_ looked mad now.  I put it between my lips tentatively, and before I knew what was happening Backslash was holding up a lighter and the end of the cigarette was starting to glow and my lung was somewhere on the floor in front of me.

_"Easy, _Sport!  Nice, slow, puffs.  That's it."

"Cool." I wheezed.  I could feel tears running down my cheeks.  I couldn't believe people actually did this for _fun_.  I wiped my eyes with my sleeve, and when I looked down I noticed my glass was full again.  How did that happen?

"You're gonna do fine here, Sprout.  Just get through the first semester and you'll be cool." Helix grinned.  "I had my doubts about you when I first saw you, but you're OK."

"Thanks." I smiled back and took a small, careful puff on the cigarette.  I held the smoke in my mouth for a nano and blew it out into the room.  That was definitely better – but still disgusting.  "Bob…has… taught me a…lot.  He's amazing."

"Bob?  Guardian 452?"

"He…likes 'Bob' better.  You can…meet him…the next time…he's here."

"Cool."  Helix held up his glass.  "To Bob!"

"Er – to Bob!" I echoed, and clinked his glass with mine.  He tipped his back and I reluctantly followed suit.  "Ohhhhhhh, User…"

"You OK, Little Man?"

"Yeah." I nodded, and regretted it immediately.  The burning wasn't as bad as the first time, but my head was starting to feel like it was full of air and the muscles in my neck didn't seem to want to work right.  "I…I think."

After that things start to get a little blurry.  I don't know how much longer I was there, but I don't think it was a real long time.  I know I managed to ditch my glass before anyone could fill it up again, and after a couple more puffs on the cigarette I found an ashtray and dumped it in there.  I talked to a few kids but even though I didn't drink any more, my head was feeling stranger and stranger.

Finally I felt a distinctly unpleasant feeling starting to grow in my stomach, and my head started to really hurt.  It was hard to look at the room, because it didn't want to stay still.  Looking at it made my head hurt worse and my stomach feel funnier and finally I realized that I had to leave and I had to do it quick.

I looked around desperately for Quantum and I finally found him over by the disc player.  I wobbled across the room and patted him on the arm.  "Um, Quantum?  I…  I have to go.  Thanks for…asking me over."

He grinned down at me.  "Feeling OK, Sport?"

"Yeah!"  Talking wasn't easy – the sound of my own voice was making my head throb.  "Just…tired.  I'll see you… soon, K?"

"Yeah – thanks for comin' over."  I managed a weak smile – I think - and headed for the door.  

I had to _really_ work hard to force myself not to run till I was outside, but I think I managed it.  Once I was in the hallway I looked around but my head was full of fuzz and I couldn't remember where the bathroom was.  It was like I'd never been in the building before.  I took off down the hallway at a shaky gallop and passed by doors until I found the one that looked right and I tried to open it and it wouldn't budge, and it took me a nano to realize it wasn't the wrong door, I just had to palm my icon over the lock.  I did, it opened, and I stumbled inside, found the nearest you-know-what and went down on my knees and puked my guts out.

I've thrown-up before – I guess most sprites have – but this wasn't like any of those times.  I won't go into too much graphic detail but what came out of me smelled really bad – like I/O distillate and rotten food and I still had the smell from the cigarette on me and I got a good whiff of all of it and retched and then I barfed again.

This happened about four times and no one else came into the bathroom, thank the User.  I finally stopped, I think mostly because I had nothing left inside me to puke up.  After that I just knelt there a while 'cause I felt so exhausted I didn't think I could stand up.

All the time I was kneeling there, Dot's face wad inside my head, staring at me and shaking her head.  She didn't look mad, either – she just looked really disappointed, and that was worse.  I felt really disgusting and disgusted with myself at the same time.  I'd broken some more rules, and I didn't even enjoy doing it.  I mean, I _did_ like being in that room with the big kids and Quantum and Helix being nice to me and all, but the I/O shots I could process without and the cigarette was even worse.  I wasn't sure how I'd do it and still fit in with those guys, but I promised myself right there that I wouldn't put myself through that again for a _long_ time.  As much as I hate it, sometimes there are things you really are too young for and I/O shots and cigarettes were a couple of those things for me.

"Sorry.  I'm really sorry." I said in a raspy voice even though no one else was there.  Dot was – she felt real enough, and I thought I owed it to her.  I stumbled over to the sink and rinsed my mouth out and splashed cold data on my face until I felt well enough to go upstairs to my room.

"Hey." Linux said as I walked in.  He was already under his covers, playing a game on his organizer.

"Mmmf."

"Wow – you all right?  You look like the inside of a null's stomach!  Enzo?"

"Nuh." I grumbled, and fell face down on my bed.  I didn't even bother to kick off my shoes or change or get under the blanket – I just wanted to lie there and go to sleep.

"What happened?"

"Nothing.  Just tired." I mumbled.  I actually felt a byte better than I had before I tossed my cookies, but that wasn't saying much.

"You smell, too."

"Sleep."

"You got hammered, didn't you?"

I managed to turn my head with a groan and stare at him.  "What?"

"You got hammered!  I've got two big brothers, remember?  I know what hammered looks like.  How'd it happen?"

"Oh, User…"

"How'd it happen, Enzo?"

"Quantum.  Asked me to come to his room, there were a couple guys there.  I/O shots.  Want to die."

"A party, huh?  Thanks for asking _me_."

"Sorry.  I didn't think I could – next time I'll ask him, I promise."  I wanted to feel bad for him, but at that nano I couldn't do anything but feel _bad_ period.

Linux sighed.  "Man – I bet it was cool."

"Was OK.  I'm never drinking again - I feel awful.  And the cigarette was worse…"

That seemed to make him feel better.  "I/O shots are like the strongest drinks there are, Nullbrain!  Did you barf?"

"Ugh.  Yuh."

He nodded.  "You'll feel better tomorrow because of that – that's what my brothers told me.  Gets it out of your system or something."

"Good." I moaned.  "I'm really sorry – next time I promise I'll ask Quantum to invite you.  If he ever asks _me_ again.  But right now I just want to delete or go to sleep, OK?"

"Yeah." He giggled.  "Go to sleep, that's your better option."  I didn't need to be told twice.


	16. Continuing Education

Thirsty.

Thirsty and stinky.  That was the first thing I thought of when I woke up in the morning.  My mouse was incredibly dry, and it tasted terrible, like a null had crawled into it and died.  I smelled bad, too – I never changed for bed and the stink of the cigarette was on me, along with a lingering whiff of I/O distillate and barf.  User, I was disgusting.

Linux was just waking up, looking irritatingly fit and healthy.  He rolled over and looked at me as I tumbled out of bed, and a little smile crossed his face.  "Morning."

"Mmmf."

"How you feel?"

"Guess." I mumbled, gathering up my shower kit.  A shower never sounded better.

"How's your head?  Do you feel like you're gonna throw up again?"

"No.  Just sore and smelly and thirsty as Hell."

Linux laughed.  "You're lucky you threw up last night or you'd feel even worse, believe me.  I've seen my brothers with a real hangover and they looked like they'd love to die."

"I guess."  It was true that I didn't feel as bad as I did the night before – just drained and weak.  "Gonna take a shower and brush my teeth for like an hour.  Wait for me, K?"

"I'll be over there in a few, actually."

"K."  I stumbled to the bathroom and over to the sinks, paying absolutely no attention to anyone else in the room.  I brushed my teeth for longer than I ever have in my life, rinsed my mouth out a bunch of times and then drank data right from the tap for at least ten nanos.  I couldn't believe how dry I felt inside, like every drop of moisture had been evaporated from my body.

After that I jumped in the shower and just let the steaming data run over my face for a long time.  It was heaven.  Once I'd showered and changed – no incidents, thank the User – I headed back to my room and what I was feeling now was unbelievably hungry.  I sat down on my bunk and waited for Linux to finish his shower.

I felt really bad about the way I'd been treating Linux.  Somehow, without me noticing it, I'd actually been fitting in easier than he had.  He hadn't really made any friends that I knew about, and even though I'd had my share of problems I'm sure he was glad he'd avoided, I'd also had some good things happen.  I'd met Lisa, first of all – and she was incredible and she really liked me.  I'd managed to get on Quantum's good side, and even be accepted – more or less – by some of his friends.  

It was an interesting feeling, because I was pretty much used to being in the position Linux was now – wanting sprites to spend time with me but always feeling left out when they were too busy.  Linux had been really nice to me and he was a good guy, despite what'd happened after the shower nightmare.  I was pretty sure I could understand what he was feeling inside – I'd known for a little while, but I'd been selfish and hadn't done anything about it.

Linux grinned when he walked in from his shower, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt while I stubbornly stuck with my uniform.  "You look better!"

"I feel better, thanks.  I could eat an ABC, though – I'm starving! Wanna get some breakfast?" 

"Yeah, sure."  He grabbed his backpack and headed for the door.

"Got any plans after?"

Linux shrugged.  "Not really."

"Wanna go play pixels?  I've been looking forward to it all week.  I'm meeting Lisa for lunch later, we could all go for pizza."

He eyed me a little suspiciously, looking for pity probably.  "Really?"

"Yeah – it'd be cool.  I want her to meet my friends, you know?  Well – my _friend_!  C'mon – please?  You'll really like pixels, too."

"Um… Yeah, sure.  I guess.  If you want to."

"Alphanumeric!"  I grinned and wrapped my arm around his shoulder.  "Dude, I am _so_ glad I got a cool roommate – this place would totally suck if I didn't."

"Yeah, I guess." He grinned back.  I could almost see the circuits firing in his brain – part of him wanted to be suspicious, but more than anything he was just glad that someone wanted to _be_ with him and that crowded out the other stuff.  I'd been there a thousand times myself.

"Wanna have breakfast in the great hall, just for a change?"

"Sure – why not?  Maybe they'll let us have java there!"

"Fat chance, Nullbrain."  If cadets wanted java they had to get it in town – the Academy probably didn't want us any more hyper than we already were.

We had our food and we were looking for a place to sit when I saw a familiar flash of red hair and a wave.  "Look – it's Patch.  Let's sit over there."

"Uh…"  Linux froze for a nano but I headed for Patch's table and after a moment he followed along.

"Hi, Enzo!  What's processing?"

"Hey, Patch."  I sat next to her and started in on my food.  "Not much – you?"

"Same old file." She grinned.  "You look great!"

"Um – thanks."

Linux pulled a chair out and almost tripped over it as he sat down.  "Uh… Hi, Patch."

"Hi.  So how are things going, Enzo?  Those outputs haven't given you any more trouble, have they?"

"Not for a while." I sighed.  It was easy to forget about Zip and Calisto if they didn't bug me for a few cycles, and I didn't like to be reminded they were still out there.

"They're just jealous, you know – that's all.  They probably couldn't even tie their own shoes when they were 1.3."

"Maybe." I giggled.  "Some cycles I'm not sure I could tie mine."

"Enzo!  You're so funny…"

"Thanks."  I didn't want to be impolite but I had to get to work on my breakfast, and do it in a big way.  My body felt like it was totally empty after my memorable experience in the bathroom the night before.

"Wow.  You must be really hungry!" Patch said softly after a couple micros.

"Mmmf." I nodded.

"You wanna play pixels with us?"

Patch and I looked up and stared at Linux.  He hadn't said anything for so long I think we'd both forgotten he was there.  "Huh?"

Linux blushed and stared at his plate.  "Er – y'know.  Pixels.  We're playing after breakfast."

"What's 'pixels'?"

"Mmmmf.  A really cool arcade game." I offered.  "You put on suits and play on teams and shoot pixels and stuff."

"So, uh…  Wanna?"

"Is it OK with you, Enzo?"

"Sure." I shrugged, swallowing a whole biscuit.  "More the merrier."

"Alpha…uh…numeric!" Patch grinned.  "Thanks, Enzo."

"NP."  I went back to concentrating on my tray, and since there wasn't much conversation going on between Patch and Linux the rest of the meal more or less consisted of me responding to Patch's questions with nods and shakes of my head.

Pixels was totally awesome, just like the time with Bob.  It wasn't circuit racing but I could definitely see it growing on me.  With three of us, we decided to enter as a team instead of doing free-for-all.  We had to wait about five milliseconds for an opponent but once we got one it was a total blast.

We were matched up against three kids I didn't recognize – maybe they were locals.  Linux got eliminated almost as soon as the game started, which sucked.  They had one guy out in the open and before I could warn Linux he tried to go after him and wipe him out, but they had another guy hiding and they ambushed him.  I felt really bad for him, but Patch and I had to stay alive ourselves, so before too long I was totally into the game.  The nice thing about a game like pixels or jetball is that you can really relax and take chances, since you don't have to worry about being nullified or marooned in a game cube.

The game lasted a really long time – at least ten millis, I think.  Patch and I managed to survive long enough to eliminate two of the guys on the other team so it was down to two against one.  At that stage it was easy – I whispered to Patch that I'd use myself to lure the last opponent into the open, and when he came out to zap me Patch could jump out and zap _him_ and we'd win the game.  And that's exactly what happened – I made an exaggerated show of slowly sneaking through a big exposed space between two fake boulders, and when he popped up to fire on me Patch knocked him out.  One good thing about being small and young-looking is that game opponents automatically think you're also stupid, a lot of the time.  That's something you can really use to your advantage if you don't happen to actually _be_ stupid.

I walked over to the Linux and held up my hand, grinning.  "Pretty cool, huh?  We won!"

"Crash – I suck."  He slapped my hand listlessly.

"No way, Dude – it's a team game.  You took one for the team, just like I did."

"Enzo!"

"Hey, Patch – good job."

"Alphanumeric!" she hugged me clumsily.  "You are so totally smart – that was a great plan there at the end.  Where'd you learn all that stuff?"

I shrugged.  "From Bob, mostly – basic game strategy.  If it's last one standing, you only need one survivor to win.  We could afford to sacrifice a man."

"Well, you're totally cool.  Pixel…acious.  I hope I'm as good in games as you are some cycle."

"You will be.  I'm nothin' special, believe me.  C'mon – let's head over to the park – I gotta meet Lisa."

"Lisa?  Who's that?"

"Uh – Lisa Jobs.  She's a friend of mine."

"A… friend?"

"Sure." I grinned.  "We're gonna have lunch with her – you can come too if you want."

"Oh!  Sure, I guess.  Thanks."

"Cool.  OK with you, Linux?"  He just shrugged, which I took for a yes, and we dropped off our pixels gear and headed out into the street.  

"Lisa – she's that girl with the teal skin, right?"

"Uh-huh."

"She's really pretty, isn't she?"

That struck me as a weird thing for Patch to say.  "I…  I guess so.  Sure."

"How'd you meet her?"

I noticed Linux was disappearing again – he was trailing along a few paces behind us, not saying anything, which didn't make me too happy as it was messing with my plan to get him involved.  That was one difference between him and me – when everyone back home was trying to ignore _me_, my strategy was always to make it as difficult as possible for them to keep doing it.  "I met her in the mess hall, I guess.  And she's in my Phys Ed class."

"Do you like her?"

I jerked my head back over to Patch.  Another weird question…  "Yeah.  She's great, I like her a lot.  Why?"

"No reason." Patch smiled, showing a lot of teeth.  "Just glad to hear you're making friends and everything."

"Oh.  Yeah, I guess.  It's not easy.  Linux is a really good friend, right?  He's great.   Nobody else yet, really. How about you?"

"I'm doing just fine, thank you."

"There she is!  Hey, Lisa!"  Lisa was sitting on 'our' bench, wearing her black shorts and T-shirt, which was a _great_ look for her.  Not that she had any bad ones.  As soon as I saw her I forgot anyone else was there.  She waved and I trotted across to her, grinning.  "What's processing?"

"Not much, Cutie.  I missed you."

"Missed you too."  I almost hugged her, but decided against it – I grabbed her hand instead.  I blushed and turned back to the others.  "You remember Linux, right?  And that's Patch."

"Hi Linux.  I know Patch – we have Physical Combat together, don't we?"

"We might." Patch smiled.  "Good to see you."

"You mind if they come to lunch with us?"

"Sure." Lisa shrugged.  "Hope you guys like pizza – Enzo is crazy about it!"

"Lisa!  Stop it..."  I giggled.  I bent close and whispered in her ear.  "I told Linux, you know…  Not to say anything or anything.  About you know what."

"Oh I know, Enzo – it's all right.  You said you would, and I believe you."

"Cool."  I waved to the others to follow us.  "C'mon, guys – there's this awesome little pizza place on Baker Street that Bob and I found – you'll love it."

"Sounds wonderful." Patch said.  Her voice sounded weird, but like always it was hard to think about anyone else when my Lisa was around.  As it was I couldn't look away from her, but I wanted to at least try and get Linux involved in the conversation.  "Hey Linux – do they have pizza on Helios?  D'you like it?"

"Don't know."

"What do you mean, you don't know?"

"I dunno."

"O…K." I shrugged.  We walked along the rest of the way in silence, which I guess might have been awkward but I was perfectly happy to hold Lisa's hand and walk next to her.  Once we got to the pizza place we all sat down in a booth, me and Lisa on one side and Linux and Patch on the other.

Patch smiled in our direction.  "Thank you so much for inviting me to join you, Enzo."   Her smile was weird, like it was too big for her face.

"Thanks.  Uh – actually it was Linux that invited you to play pixels."

"Of course. Thank you, Linux."

"Welcome."  Linux seemed to be losing his voice.

"You're so pretty, Lisa.  Your hair is beautiful – I wish mine were like that!  You must work really hard to keep it so perfect."

Lisa shrugged and smiled.  "Just normal stuff – you know, shampoo, conditioner.  Yours is beautiful, too – I love red hair."

"Aren't you nice!"  Patch smiled her too-big smile directly at Lisa, and no one said anything for a couple of nanos.

"Um…  Patch is really good at pixels." Linux finally offered in a little voice.  "She's-"

"Thank you.   But Enzo is the real high-density one – he came up with all the strategy."

"And I'm totally 8-bit." Linux mumbled.  "Did you know my big brother is infected?  Just like your father is.  Wild, huh?"

"Very interesting."

"Yeah.  He-" Linux hit the Tabasco sauce with his elbow and knocked it over, and when he tried to reach for it he bumped it over the edge of the table and it would have smashed on the floor, but Lisa's hand shot out and grabbed it before it fell.  "Sorry!"

"Wow!  You've got some reflexes." I gasped. 

Lisa and Linux both looked embarrassed.  "Sorry." He repeated.

"Linux, you really crack me up sometimes!"  I giggled.  He shrugged and put his chin in his hands, and no one said anything for a few nanos and the silence started to get kind of awkward again.  Lisa reached out and squeezed my hand and I smiled at her.  "So, uh… What d'you guys want on the pizza?"

"You know," Patch sighed, "I'm not feeling real hungry all of a sudden.  I think I'm gonna take off."

"What?  Why-"

"Just one of those things – you know.  Thanks very much for inviting me, though. See you in class, Lisa."

"Sure – see you.  You sure you don't want to stay?"

"Yeah, I'm sure.  Thanks, though."  Patch awkwardly squeezed by Linux – his face turned all red - and out of the booth.  She waved and took off at a fast walk.

"_That _was weird!  Why in the net did she do that?"  I whistled.  Lisa stared at me for a nano.  "What?"

"Think I'll go too." Linux mumbled.

"No!  Come on Dude, I know _you're_ hungry!"

"Nah – three's a crowd and all that."

He started to stand but I grabbed his arm.  "C'mon, Linux – please?"

"That's OK.  You guys have fun.  Bye, Lisa."

"Bye Linux." Lisa said sadly.  Linux stood up and sort of shuffled his feet, then thrust his hands into his pockets and slowly headed out. 

"Crash – that was totally basic, huh?  Why'd they go and sign off like that?"

Lisa stared at me for a nano.  "You're kidding, right?"

"What?  What is it?  Was it something I said?"

She studied me hard for another nano, and it was starting to freak me out.  Than she laughed and shook her head.  "Enzo, you're totally amazing.  Sometimes I really have to stop and think about how amazing you are, or I'd be sure you were offline."

"What?" I could feel my blush rising.  "What're you talking about?  What did _I_ do?"

She giggled again, then grabbed my hands gently and looked into my eyes.  "Enzo, Sweetie, I want you to listen to me for a micro, all right?"

"What?  Sure.  But-"

"Enzo, listen, OK?   That girl totally has the hots for you."

"What?  No _way_!  She-"

"Hush, Enzo.  Just listen.  Patch is in love with you, Cutie.  That's why she was acting all basic like that."

"But… But…  That's impossible!" I protested.  "I mean – I like _you_!"

"Do you think that makes any difference to _her_?"

"Crash!"  I fell back in the booth, taking that in.  The possibility had never even occurred to me.  "We're just friends, though!" I said weakly.  "We were in a game together, and we played pixels…"

"You're so sweet."  She hugged me and took my face in her hands.  "You really don't have a clue, do you?  My poor Enzo…"

"How did this _happen_?"

"Well – you were in a game together, you said?"

"Yeah…  It was her first one."

"So I bet you were totally nice to her and all modest but you still did really great in the game, right?"

"I dunno.  Sort of, I guess."

She kissed me on the nose and let me face go in favor of my hands again.  "And you were just as cute as a pixel because you can't help it, and now she's in love with you.  It's not your fault, Enzo.   But it's still a fact."

"Oh." I sighed.  It was amazing how complicated life could be in ways you totally didn't expect.  Don't get me wrong, a part of me was really flattered – I figured I'd be Phong's age before I _ever_ had a girl and now _two_ girls liked me.  But it still felt scraggy, because I totally liked Lisa but I liked Patch too – she was nice and I didn't want her to hate me.

"Poor Enzo."  Lisa held my hand in one of hers and softly stroked my wrist with the other.

"Wait – so why did _Linux_ leave then?"

"Oh, no.  Enzo – really?"

"What _now_?" I groaned.  

She tried hard to swallow her laughter, but it finally exploded out of her in short, loud bursts that made me feel like crawling under the floor.  "Enzo, Sweetie…  You're just the cutest thing I've ever seen, you know that?"

"What?  Just tell me already!"

"Don't ever change."  She grinned and kissed me on the cheek, then sat back, still holding my hand.  "Enzo, Linux has the hots for Patch."

"He _does_?"

"Of course!  I know you don't have a lot of experience with all this, but I thought since you _live_ with him maybe you'd notice-"

"OK, OK – I get the point!  I'm a basic 9-pinhead, right."

"Oh, you're not!  You're just…  Just sweet.  That's all."

"How do you _know_?  I mean – he didn't say anything…"

"Oh Enzo, I don't know how to explain it.  I just _know_, that's all.  You didn't pick up on any of the signals?"

I shrugged helplessly.  "What signals?"

"The way he kept blushing, and sneaking little looks at her?  The way he acted all clumsy and tried to compliment her?"  I shook my head and she sighed.  "It's like I'm speaking a language you've never heard before, isn't it…"

"Sorry."

"Don't you be sorry!  You're just different than any other boy I've ever met, that's all.  Your processor isn't all clogged up with the same stupid stuff everyone else's is.  I wouldn't want you any other way!"

"Thanks – I guess.  But I still feel like a nullbrain.  Are you _sure_ about Linux and Patch?"

"Pretty sure, Cutie."

"Crash.   I just figured Linux was clumsy, that's all."

Lisa grinned.  "Well you know, Enzo, that's kinda how you acted around me when we first met, don't you think?  That should have been your first clue!"

That got me blushing really good.  "Did I really act like that?  All clumsy and shy and stuff?"  I knew the answer before I even asked the question.

"Sort of.  You never do anything the same as everybody else, though."

"I guess I was too busy looking at you to notice anything else."  I felt bold all of a sudden and kissed her quickly on the lips.

"Oh, Enzo…"  I started to pull away, a little embarrassed at kissing her in such a public place, but she tugged me back and kissed me again, right as the dedicated server came up to take our pizza order.

"A-hem!"

"Sorry!" Lisa laughed, and I'm sure I turned an even deeper red.

"May I take your order now, _Sir_?"

"Uh…  Yeah.  Large pizza.  What do you want on it, Lisa?"

"Shrooms." Lisa giggled, still holding me close to her and running her hand through my hair, which was taking me away to a really nice place.

"And extra garlic." I mumbled, as the server moved off.  I kissed Lisa's cheek and put my head down on her shoulder and just let her hold me for a few nanos.  "Sorry about Patch." I whispered.

"It's all right.  I'm sorry about Linux – poor little thing.  He seems really nice."

"He is.  He's great – so is Patch.  They're _both_ really nice.  They helped me when I got in trouble for the fight."

"They sound like good friends, Enzo."

"They are." I sighed.  "Crash – it's scraggy that they're both all upset now.  Why does all this boy-girl stuff have to be so complicated?"

Lisa gave a little soft of half laugh, half breath.  "It just is – I don't know why.  I don't know all _that_ much about it, Cutie – I've only ever really liked one boy, you know."

I lifted my head to grin at her.  "Yeah."

"He was a real hottie, too – not much like you…"

"Hey!"

"Psych."

"Very funny."  I put my head back down again.  It definitely liked being on her shoulder, with her hand in my hair.  "I guess I can't really be friends with Patch now, can I?  I don't see how, if she's-  You know…"

"I don't mind if you're friends with her.  I don't want you to have to give up any friends because of me."

"But _how_, though?  She didn't seem very happy, did she?"

"No." Lisa sighed.  "I guess not.  Neither did Linux – poor thing.  He was trying so hard, too."

"He always tries hard.  Maybe too hard."  As I said it I thought about it, and it really made sense to me.  "He tries to make friends the same way.  That's just how he is, but for some reason it doesn't work a lot of the time."

"Oh."  Lisa sounded really sad.  She didn't say anything for a little while as she stroked my hair, and I was too comfortable to say much.  

"Too bad Patch doesn't like Linux – that'd solve all our problems." I finally whispered.

"What?"

"You know – he likes _her_ already, so if she just liked him instead of me we'd be all set.  I know it's dumb, I'm a moron about all this stuff-"

"Why is it dumb?"  She put her hand under my chin and lifted my face.

"I…  I dunno.  Isn't it?"

"No!  You're smarter about people than you think, Enzo."

"Oh!  Thanks.  But – how?  I mean, you can't just _make_ someone like someone else.  Can you?"

"Well, Linux already likes Patch – so we've got half the program designed already.  All we need to do is convince her that he's a stud and we're all set.  What's so fuuny?"

"Nothing." I giggled.  "It's just that Linux is so-  I dunno.  He's kinda goofy."

"So what?  He doesn't deserve a girlfriend because of that?  You aren't exactly the smoothest operator in the net either, Cutie."

"I know!  I'm not sayin' that.  I really like Linux – he's a great kid.  But it's not like he's tall or athletic or charming or even cool or anything.  It'd be a lot easier if he was."  Of course I knew that I wasn't any of those things either, but somehow I'd been lucky enough to find a girl who actually _liked_ that about me.

"Well – some things are more important."  Lisa had a determined look on her face, and it didn't look like anything would dislodge it easily.  "We just need to convince Patch that Linux has other things going for him.  He's nice, isn't he?  He'd treat her nicely?"

"Sure."

"That's important.  He's cute, too – in a Linux kinda way.  Not as cute as you, but still cute.  What else?"

"Well, uh, he…  He's pretty smart, I think.  He does good in class.  And he can be a lot of fun – he likes music and quicktimes and he even sang with me and Bob."

"Sang?" Lisa smiled.

"Never mind!  He's loyal, too – like I said, he and Patch saved my bitmap when I got in trouble for the fight."

"Hmmm."  Lisa scratched her chin thoughtfully.  "That's one thing they have in common, isn't it?"

"What?" I frowned.  "You lost me."

"You."

"Me?"

"Sure, Cutie.  They both like you – they both laid their code on the line for you.  Maybe we can use that somehow…"

"In common?"  I thought about that for a nano.  "Is that important?"

"Of course it is, Silly!  You have to have stuff in common or you'll have nothing to talk about."

"Sorry!  It's just, when you said that…  They actually _do_ have a lot of stuff in common.  Patch's father was a Guardian and he was infected, and so was Linux' big brother.  And they both lived in the supercomputer for a while.  And neither one of them had ever been in a game before they came here."

"Enzo – that's graphical!  All we need to do is get Patch thinking about all this stuff, and maybe she'll start to give Linux a chance.  It'll require a pretty big sales job, I admit…" 

"I'd buy anything if _you_ were selling it."

"Flatterer." Lisa giggled, and kissed me on the nose.  "And maybe a cooling fan for Linux so he doesn't act like _quite_ as big a klutz when he sees her…"

"Wait!  How _is_ he going to see her?  She won't want to do anything with Linux, will she?  She might not even want to do anything with _me_ after today."

"Hmmm."  She got that thoughtful, determined look again, and I knew I was in over my code.  "Here's what we'll do – I'll ask Patch to have dinner with me in the mess in the great hall, and you ask Linux.  Only I won't tell her Linux will be there, and you don't tell _him_ that Patch will – he might be too embarrassed after today."

"OK." I nodded helplessly.  "Then what?"

"Leave that to me." Lisa grinned.  "We'll do it in two cycles – Patch and I have combat together last period.  I'll take her to the mess hall right after we shower.  You give us a few micros before you show up – I want to have a chance to sell her before you guys get there."

"Sell her?"  The whole thing sounded dubious to me, but like I said I was in over my code.  It was obvious the decision was already made.  "You sure you can get Patch to come?  If she likes me and she know I like _you_, maybe she won't."

"Don't worry – I'll get her there.  And before the night is over she'll think Linux is the coolest thing since designer mousepads."

"If you say so." I sighed.

"And don't tell Linux – remember that!  Just talk to him a little between now and then, give him hints that just maybe Patch likes him.  Try and get his confidence up, give him an idea what to say."

"_I_ don't know what to say!"

"Yes you do." Lisa grinned.  "You always did.  I'm here now, aren't I?"

I stared at her smiling face for a nano, then I smiled myself.  "Yeah – I guess."  I gave her a quick hug and kissed her on top of the head.  "So, uh…  Lisa?"

"Hmmm?"

I looked at her again.  "Would you say that maybe I'm, you know… Your boyfriend now?"

She stared at me thoughtfully.  "Hmmm.  You know, I think maybe you are."

"So that means that you're my girlfriend?"

She giggled.  "Seems logical."

"Alphanumeric!"  I felt a tremendous burst of energy go through me.  Until that nano I'd been a little afraid to let myself use those words for what we were, even in my head.  User, it sounded pixelacious!  I leaned in and kissed her right on the mouth, not even caring who was watching.

"A-hem!"

Naturally, the server chose that nano to bring our pizza.  I quickly pulled away, wiping my lips, and Lisa tried to swallow her laughter again.  "Sorry, Ma'am."

"Disgraceful." The server scowled.  "This is a fine dining establishment, not a homepage of ill repute!"  With a snort, she dropped the pizza to the table and whirred off on her tracks.

"Cecilia." I sighed.

"What?" Lisa laughed.

"Never mind, let's eat.  That garlic smells good."

"Yeah – I'm glad we already kissed…"


	17. Love and War

Lisa wanted me to boost Linux' self-confidence, which was a good idea and sounded pretty easy – until I actually had to try and do it.  One thing I was discovering was that Linux didn't _have_ a whole lot of self-confidence – even less than me in a lot of ways.  He was a little bolder than me about talking to people he didn't know and stuff like that, but he didn't follow it up very much and it almost seemed like he was doing it to cover something up about himself.  It's not like I'd been following him around or anything, but he hadn't seemed to make any friends that I knew about, besides me.

The whole next cycle I pretty much shadowed him whenever I wasn't in class, just talked to him and joked with him and tried to make him feel cheerful.  I even had lunch with him – I raced to the main mess and told Lisa my plans, and headed over to the boys' dorm where Linux liked to eat lunch.  It wasn't easy for me to skip lunch with Lisa – that meant having to go a whole cycle basically without seeing her, which was torture.  But I figured just this once I could survive it.

Like I said I spent the whole cycle with him, more or less, but I didn't have the nerve to bring up Patch until we were back in our room after hanging out in the rec room. By that time Linux was in a pretty good mood and he seemed to have forgotten most of what had happened at the pixels game and the pizza place.  He put on a disc – Talking Heads, I remember, 'cause I love that song "Up All Night" – and we sat on our beds and talked about stupid stuff and did homework and shot spitwads at each other.  

"Guess what?" I said after a while.

"What, Nullface?"

"I heard something you might be interested in."

Linux looked up.  "What?"

I'd thought carefully about how to say it – how _I'd_ want to hear it, if it were me being told a girl liked me.  "You remember Patch, right?"

"Duh!"

"Sorry!  Well – I think she likes you."

He dropped his organizer and stared at me.  "Byte me.  You're lying."

"No way, Dude!  I saw her looking at you when we were at the pizza place, and-"

"She was looking at me 'cause I was knocking over everything on the table, Stupid!  I'm surprised she didn't laugh!"

"No!  Not only that – she was checkin' you out at the pixels arcade, too."

"You're basic." He scowled.  "She thinks I'm a null – when she notices me at all."

"Well, I'm pretty sure.  Do you like _her_?"

He sighed and shrugged his shoulders a little.  "Doesn't matter."

"C'mon – do you?  I think she's pretty cute."

"You think you're hot stuff just 'cause you got a girlfriend…"

"No!  I'm just curious, that's all.  If she asked you, would you go out?"

He hesitated.  "I…  I guess.  She's OK.  But it doesn't matter, 'cause she doesn't like me anyways."

"There's something else, too."  

"What?"

I smiled.  "Lisa sees her sometimes, y'know?  They have classes and stuff.  Lisa thinks Patch likes you, too.  I think Patch might've said something to her."

For the first time Linux actually started to look hopeful.  Then he looked cold again, like he'd crushed the idea before it got too big and he started to believe it.  "Dude, if you're lying to me I'll be _so_ pissed at you!"

I felt a major stab of guilt and hoped it didn't show on my face.  I also hoped Lisa knew what in the net she was doing.  "Hey – I'm just telling you what Lisa said.  She thinks Patch likes you.  And she _was_ checkin' you out at that arcade."

He stared at me for another nano.  "I don't know…"

"Whatever.  I think she does."

"I…  I figured she liked _you_."

I shrugged.  "We were in a game together, so I guess we're friends.  But I don't think she _like_ me likes me."

"Maybe." He mused.  "So you think maybe I should ask her out?"

Panic!  "What – now?"

"Now, _now_, Output – it's almost lights out!  Maybe tomorrow?"

"Uh…  I'd wait a couple cycles if I were you."  

He glared at me suspiciously.  "Why?"

Crash!  I felt like deleting Lisa for getting me into this.  I pulled a phrase out of my bitmap from way deep in my memory somewhere.  "Uh…  I hear girls like it when you play hard to get."

"Who told you that?"

"Lisa.  Makes sense, you know?  I don't think they like it if a guy seems too eager.  Makes you look desperate."  Not a bad save, even if I say so myself.

"Yeah – I guess that makes sense.  So what should I _do_ then?"

"Um – I don't really know.  I'm no expert!"

"But you've got a girlfriend, Dude.  So I guess that makes you more of an expert than me!"

Wow – it was pretty weird to hear that from someone else!   But I guess it was true, basic as it sounded.  Anyway, all I had to do was keep Linux from falling on his face before Lisa's dinner.  "Just be cool, I guess.  If you see her be nice to her and talk to her, but don't ask her out or anything right away.  Just, you know – be _nice_."

There was a knock on the door, and Linux and I stared at each other.  We didn't get people knocking on our door, ever.  My first thought was that it was Zip and Calisto and I was gonna get beat up, but that didn't make sense – why would they knock?  Then I thought maybe it was a teacher and I was in trouble again.

Linux' bed was closer to the door so he stood up and answered it.  I couldn't see who it was from my bed, but Linux got a surprised look on his face and didn't say anything.  Then I heard a voice I recognized.  "Enzo here?"

"Quantum?"  I leapt to my feet and dashed to the door.  He was standing there with a big grin on his face, and Helios and Quantum's red-headed roommate and a few other guys I didn't really know were standing behind him.  "Uh…  Hey!  Whassup?"

"Hey, Little Man.  Are you feeling bold tonight?"

I gaped at him what I'm pretty sure was stupidly.  "Um…  I guess so.  Why-"

"Do you have the heart of a lion?  Are you unstoppable?"

I looked over at Linux, who'd taken a couple of awed steps back at the sight of so many second-hours on our doorstep.  I turned back to Quantum and shrugged.  "Sure.  What's going on?"

Quantum smiled again and put his hand over his heart.  "Only a sacred rite of passage that has been passed from generation to generation of young men at the Academy since time immemorial.  A precious ritual dear to the heart of every Guardian who walks the net.  And every semester a Sprout is selected to share in this ritual so that he may pass it along to another generation, next hour.  Are you bold enough to be that sprite?"

I gulped a big mouthful of air.  "I…"

"Are you ready to take the next step, Enzo?  Are you ready to be a man tonight?"

"A…  A man?"  I glanced over at Linux again, only to find him staring back at me.  "Yeah…  I mean – Yeah!  I'm ready."

"Good.  Come with us, then."  Quantum whirled away.

"I don't have to drink anything, do I?"

"No – not tonight." Quantum chuckled.  "Come – let us away."

"Wait!"

"What is it, Sprout?  Why do you disrupt the sacred ritual?"

My mouth was totally dry, now.  "Can…  Can Linux come too?"

"Uh, Enzo – that's OK-"

"Please?  He's great, whatever it is he'll be cool I promise!  He wants to be a man, too!"

Quantum frowned.  "It is most irregular.  Normally only a single sprout is chosen to join the sacred ritual."

"Please?"

"Enzo, it's _really_ OK, I'm-"

"Very well, then." Quantum nodded.  "Follow and learn, Sprouts.  Come." 

 I grinned at Linux, who looked like he'd swallowed a null.  "Come on!"  I grabbed his hand and dragged him after the others.

"Enzo!" he hissed.  "What do you think-"

"Silence!" Quantum barked.  "While the ritual is in progress you shall not speak until you are commanded to."

"Sorry!" both of us peeped.  I was a little scared by what might be part of this 'ritual', but I had a big rush of adrenaline shooting through me too.  And the thought that I might get into trouble again was the farthest thing from my mind.  One thing I was sure of – I didn't want Linux to be left out again.  He didn't look so sure.

Quantum knocked on another door a little ways down our hall.  "Come Watson, come – the game is afoot!" He called softly.

The door opened, and a tall second-hour poked his head out.  "What do you mean, a foot?"

Quantum sighed and lightly slapped the guy on the forehead.  "Nullbrain!  Just come on."  The kid slipped out into the hall and fell into place with our little group.  Quantum led us a couple doors farther down the hall, and knocked again.  "The moment is nigh!"  Another older looking kid slipped outside, grinning.  It was becoming obvious to me that all these guys knew in advance about this – Linux and I seemed to be the only ones who didn't know what was going to happen.  That was a nervous thought, I have to admit.  

Linux and I sort of naturally settled to the rear of the pack, following behind the older cadets.  Quantum repeated the process of lightly knocking and calling out several times over the three floors, and by the time we were back at his room I counted fifteen of us.  None of the other cadets were in any of my classes, so it looked like Quantum was telling the truth about me and Linux being the only first-hours.

There was a kind of excited buzz running through the others, as they whispered and giggled and punched each other on the arm.  Linux and I sort of stayed a little apart from them and waited, nervously.  I had a rush of energy running through me and I couldn't stay still, but I was also scared.  Part of me would have definitely liked to have ran back to my room and crawled under the blankets, and judging by Linux' face I bet he felt the same way.  But there we were, and I had absolutely no idea what was going to happen.  All sorts of weird scenarios were playing out in my head.

So naturally, under the circumstances, I panicked a little bit when Quantum walked over and grinned, then proceeded to tie a blindfold over my eyes.  "Hey!  Stop it!"  I tried to reach up and rip it off, but someone had my hands behind my back.

"Chill, Little Man.  We'll take good care of you, don't worry."

"But-"

"Prepare yourself.  The nano is almost upon us."

"Crash!" I whispered.  I could hear Linux struggling next to me, and assumed he was as helpless as I was.  After my nightmare in the showers it was _not_ a good feeling.  I wondered just what in the net I'd gotten Linux into.  I didn't detect any malice in Quantum's voice, but that was a small comfort when I couldn't see anything.

After a few nanos I heard Quantum say, "Ready?" and an affirmative response from the group. "Let's go!"  The hands behind me started gently pushing me and I stumbled forward.  Whoever was pushing me was aware that I couldn't see and didn't try to make me go too fast, but I almost fell a few times anyway.  Have you ever tried to run or even walk blindfolded?  It's not easy, I'll tell you that.

After a few nanos I felt cool air on my face and I knew we were outside, which for some reason made me even more afraid than I had been.  I heard occasional whispers and soft laughter from the cadets in front of me, but Quantum didn't say anything more to the group.  I kept stumbling forward, and the hands kept holding me up every time I almost fell.  I felt my feet on hard ground, then grass, then hard ground again.

Finally the hands grabbed my shoulders and I took that as a warning to stop, so I did.  I was breathing hard, even though we hadn't been going fast – walking blind was tough, and my heart was racing from fear and excitement.  I could hear Linux breathing hard too right next to me, and hushed voices from the others.  "Silence!" Quantum hissed.

I felt myself being turned to face a different direction than I had been, and then the hands left me and I was standing on my own and my elbow was bumping against what felt like Linux' – it was trembling - and there was silence, except for my breathing and my heart and there was something else, too - someone there, just in front of my face.  I could sense them more than anything else – I _knew_ they were there, close.  The silence dragged on and every nano felt like a minute, but I didn't dare remove my blindfold.

Finally, mercifully, Quantum's voice broke the silence.  "Have you made your peace with the User, Sprouts?"

Neither Linux or I said anything right away, but it was obvious Quantum was waiting for an answer and the quiet was driving me offline.  "Yes." I whispered.

"Are you prepared to face the brutal realities of the net?  Are you prepared to leave your childhood behind and join the world of men?"

"Yes!"  I just wanted it to be over, whatever it was – the tension was making me want to pull my hair out.  The thought popped into my mind whether Lisa would still like me bald.  After a nano, Linux whispered a softer "Yes" From next to me.

"Very well then.  Prepare yourselves."

I felt the hands leave my shoulder and start to slowly untie the blindfold.  My heart was really in turbo mode now and there was sweat running down my face.  I felt the knot give but the hands held the blindfold was held in place for a nano, then two.  Then it was yanked away with a whipping noise and as my eyes adjusted to the darkness I saw a hairy, ugly face right in front of me and gave a little scream and I heard Linux do the same, except a little louder.

"Silence!"

"Quantum?" I gasped.  It was his voice behind the face – which I could now see was a werewolf mask, like from "Dead Before Dawn" or something.  A laugh rose from the rest of the group and as I stood there, trembling all over, I looked around and saw that all of them were wearing masks – dog masks, null masks, you name it.  And they were all laughing.

Even Quantum was chuckling behind his werewolf mask.  "Here!"  He reached out his hand, and what he was holding was a monkey mask.  I took it from him and stared at it as he handed a kitty-cat mask to Linux.  "Don your helmets, Gentleman – our task is upon us."

I inferred from that he wanted me to put the mask on – so I did.  You could see OK through the eye holes, and the first thing I saw was Linux in the kitty mask and that made me laugh, even though I was still a little scared and totally confused.  "Behold!" Quantum said in an awed voice, pointing to a building a little up the hill from where we were standing.  "The promised land!"  I'd never seen it at night, but after a nano I recognized it – the girls' dorm.  My heart had slowed down a little, but it sped right back up again.

"Come!"  Quantum took off towards the dorm at a determined pace and everyone fell in behind him.  I looked at the kitty, shrugged, and jogged off after them.  I realized that we were looking at the backside of the building – there were no doors.  Just windows, three floors of windows, most of them spilling light out into the night.  The group formed a kind of scraggly line just below the building

I got my nerve up and tugged on Quantum's sleeve.  "Quantum!" I whispered.  "What are we supposed to-"

"Just follow along.  And pay attention – remember, next hour it will be your solemn responsibility to lead your fellow cadets.  You are the chosen one."

"O…  OK." I gulped.  Quantum looked down the line, like a general reviewing his troops.  Finally he cupped his hands over his mouth and raised his head.

"Arise, Fair Maidens, and come to your windows!"  

I just stared at Quantum, totally confused and freaked out – and I didn't hear anything from Linux either.  But after the first call the other second-hours joined in and they all shouted it again, "Arise, Fair Maidens, and come to your windows!"  This happened three or four times before the first faces started appearing.

It was interesting to watch the reactions of the girls at the windows – most of them giggled, a couple of them looked shocked, one or two even mad.  A couple shouted stuff back down at us that I can't repeat.  After a lot of the windows were filled with faces Quantum held up his hands, and our troops were silent.

"Greeting, Lovely Ladies."

"Greetings, Nullhead!" One of the girls shouted back, and the rest of them giggled.  Quantum merely folded an arm across his belly and bowed slightly.

"Forgive us for disrupting your beauty rest, O Maidens.  We come on a matter of utmost importance, and beseech thee to honor our humble request."  Quantum cleared his throat dramatically, and there was a nano of tense silence as I waited to see what was gonna happen.  Quantum lifted his head again and shouted out in a loud, clear voice, "We want panties!"

A bunch of girls giggled and some shouted and I just stared at him, my mouth hanging open under my monkey mask.  The rest of the guys took up the call – "We want panties!  We want panties!"  I finally looked over at Linux and he was staring back at me, and I giggled and started shouting it too.  Why not?  Sometimes things going on around you are so totally bizarre that the only thing that makes sense is to join in.

I looked up at the dorm again.  The older girls seemed to mostly be laughing, some of them hysterically.  It was the younger ones who looked totally shocked.  I kept shouting along with the rest of the guys and I was actually starting to get into the spirit of it, even if it was just about the stupidest thing I've even been involved in - and I've been involved in some pretty stupid stuff.  And then the first pair of panties came drifting down, and my voice caught in my throat a little.

A few more pairs followed, along with some swear words and a lot of laughing and even a couple of energy shakes.  Some of the guys were laughing now too, but they managed to keep chanting and dodging the energy shakes and then they started to try and catch the panties as they fell and it was pretty strange but really fun, too.

I heard Linux shouting next to me and I laughed and then I saw Patch's face in one of the windows and I thought about Lisa and oh my User, what if she saw me?  But I looked around and didn't see her, and then I looked over at Linux and back up at Patch.  If he noticed her he didn't let on.  I know we had our masks on but I swear, she was staring right at us.  And grinning.  She didn't throw down any panties, though.

Then something white flashed in front of my eyes, and I reached out and grabbed it and it was-  Well, it's not hard to guess what it was.  Then I heard someone yelling but it wasn't a guy's voice, and someone came around the corner of the building.  "Hey!"

"Run!" Quantum shouted, and the guys reached out and grabbed as many panties as they could and scrambled away.  I froze for a nano, then I felt a hand on my collar and I stumbled and pushed myself up and started running.

"Stop!" A woman's voice shouted – the House Master – is it House Mistress?  Whoever she was, she sounded pissed off.  "Stop right now!"

"Split up!" Quantum hissed, and the bunch of us exploded into little groups, stumbling down the hill and darting into the trees.  I saw Linux' mask and took off after him and ran and ran and ran until I couldn't hear the woman's voice anymore.

Linux and I stared at each other and I giggled, I couldn't help it.  I took my mask off and tucked it under my shirt and rested for a nano, panting.  "You…  OK?"

"Yeah." Linux whispered.  He took off his mask.  "Come on – let's get back to the dorm!  Crash, we're gonna get in trouble…"   

"Maybe.  Better keep the masks on until we're safe."  I took off at a jog, circling back towards the boys' dorm.  We occasionally saw another fugitive guy but we didn't see the lady teacher again, and when we got back to the dorm everything was quiet.  Linux and I stared at each other, caught our breath, and walked the last few nanos to the door praying no one was gonna stop us.

Once we were inside we hopped onto the elevator and neither one of us said a word until Linux unlocked the door and we were back inside our room.  Once the door file locked behind us we both fell onto our beds and just laid there for a few nanos, breathing heavily.  Then I looked up at Linux and he was staring back at me, and we both started laughing and we laughed for a long time.  Neither one of us was able to stop until there were tears running down our faces and we were even more out of breath than we were from running.

"_That_ was totally high-density!" Linux giggled, and fell into another laughing fit.

"Oh, Man – that was the dumbest thing I've ever done.  _Ever_!  But it was so cool!"

"Dude – they were throwing energy shakes at us!  One guy almost got hit!"

"Did you hear what they were yelling?  I didn't know girls used words like that!"  Just thinking about it made me start laughing again, too.

"What's that?"

"What?"  Linux was pointing at my right hand.  I looked down, and scrunched up in my hand was a little ball of soft white fabric.  "Dude!"

"Dude!"  I'd totally forgotten it was even there in all the excitement.  I dropped it on the bed and jumped up, taking a couple steps back.  "Crash!"

"That's…  Those are girls' panties!" Linux gasped.

I stared at my hand.  "I…  I guess that was the whole _point_, y'know?"

"But…  Those are girls' panties, Dude.  And they're on your _bed_!"

"Oh, User!"  I tucked my hand under my left arm and groaned.  "What am I, y'know…  What should I _do_ with them?"

"How should _I_ know?  You better not get caught with them – your ascii will be in big trouble!"

"So will yours!"  I sat down on the far end of the bed and stared at the panties.  Just being that close to them made me feel all funny and kinda ashamed.  "What were we supposed to do?  I mean – we went over there and _asked_ for them and everything!  What are we supposed to _do_ with them?"  

"How the web should I know?"  Linux scowled.  He came over and sat next to me, staring at the offending object.  "What…  What'd they feel like?"

"What??"

"What'd they feel like?  I mean, touching them…"

I stared at them for a couple more nanos.  "Soft."

"Really?"

"Yeah.  Really soft."  Linux slowly and carefully reached his arm out and touched them for a nano, then pulled it back like they were on fire.  "See?"

"Yeah.  Really soft." He nodded.  We sat in silence for a little while.  "Wonder whose they are?"

"Dude – stop it!"

"I'm serious!  I mean – they belong to somebody!"

I sighed.  "I don't know, Man.  I know they're not Patch's."

"Patch's?" Linux squeaked.  He looked truly horrified.  "Why would they be Patch's?"

"She was there – you didn't see her?  She didn't throw down any…  Any you- know-whats.  She didn't throw any."

"Oh, crash it!  Patch was there?  Do you think she saw me?"

"Of course she saw you, Stupid.  But we were wearing masks, remember?"  I was pretty sure Patch knew exactly who we were, but Linux looked like he'd be happier not hearing that opinion.

"Oh yeah."  Linux sighed deeply and we both sat, staring at the panties from the far end of my bed.  "You think maybe we should try and give 'em back?"

I shook my head.  "No way – then we'd be sunk, they'd know we were there.  Besides – I don't think we're _supposed_ to.  They threw them down, right?"

"I guess.  So what – we keep 'em?"

"What d'you mean, 'we'?  They're _mine_ – I was the one that caught 'em!"

"Dude – take it easy!  I was just-"

"Sorry!  It's been a weird night, that's all."  I reached out and carefully picked them up again, my arm shaking a little.

"Be sure and hide them good.  If we get caught-"

"I know."  I brought them a little closer and studied them, thinking how totally bizarre a thing it was to be doing.  They were small and white, with little pink flowers on them.  And they were soft.  Really, really soft.  After I looked at them a few nanos I stood and walked over to my footlocker, and carefully hid the panties and the monkey mask all the way down at the bottom.  

"Guess they'll be safe there." Linux said softly.

"Yeah."  I shook my head and giggled.  "Well – now you know what girl's panties feel like."

"Yeah, I guess."

"You're welcome."

"Oh yeah – thanks for asking Quantum to let me come with.  Although I was ready to delete you there for a while..."

I gave him a two-handed shove in the chest and sent him sprawling on the bed.  "Where's your spirit of adventure, Cadet?"

"I think I coughed it up when I almost killed myself running away, Shithead!"  He took a playful swing at me and I laughed and fell onto the bed.  "Hey – your organizer's flashing!"

"Oh, crash!  Laser?"

Linux sat up, looking seriously worried.  "Dude, if you get me expelled-"

"Wait – when I got called into Laser's office last time, it beeped.  Maybe this is something else."

"Well look at it and find out, Stupid!"

I punched him on the shoulder and picked up the organizer. With a deep breath I opened it and accessed the message.  "It says, 'Sender Unknown'!"

"Sender Unknown?  At least it's not Laser."  Linux breathed a sigh of relief.  "Cool.  What's it say?"

"Huh!  That's weird."

"What?  What is it?"

"Look for yourself."  I held up the screen.  On it was flashing, bold and in caps, 

TOMORROW

BREAKFAST

SPOILS OF WAR

"That's it – the whole message.  Basic, huh?"

"What's it mean?"

"Dude – I get it!" I groaned.  "We're supposed to show off our trophies at breakfast in the mess hall tomorrow!"

"Our trophies?" Linux frowned. "Oh!  You mean-"

"Yeah.  Oh, User – if Dot finds out about this she'll never let me live it down…"

"At least you _have_ a trophy.  What are you supposed to _do_ with it, exactly?"

"I guess I'll find out tomorrow." I sighed.  I was still trying to get the image of Dot out of my processor.  I knew she wouldn't be too happy with me right then and besides, thinking about Dot and panties on the same night was not a happy marriage in my head.

Linux giggled.  "Breakfast ought to be interesting."

"Dinner, too." I muttered.

"What?"

"Never mind.  It's not funny – stop laughing!"

"Sorry!" he laughed.  "Maybe you're supposed to wear 'em – y'know, over your pants!"

"Log off."  I thought that Bob probably could have told me all about this weird little ritual – but I wasn't about to call and ask him.  I was just gonna have to wait and find out for myself.

The first question I had to ask myself the next morning was about transportation.  Just how, exactly, was I going to get my 'spoils of war' down to breakfast?  Linux' suggestion never even entered my mind.  Eventually I settled on the simplest solution – I scrunched them up into a little ball and stuffed them in my pocket.  It wasn't perfect – it seemed kinda undignified for a ritual and besides, it felt weird having them in that general area.  But I couldn't think of any other way.

Linux was giggling constantly all the way down the elevator and all the way to the mess hall, but I wasn't in nearly as good a mood.  I could sense an embarrassing nano coming up quick, and my radar was getting better and better at detecting that kind of stuff.  At least I wasn't in it by myself, that was something…

We got our food and sat down and nothing happened for a little while, although I thought maybe there was a little more whispering than usual.  I looked around for Quantum and didn't see him and I figured nothing would happen until he got there anyway, so I started in on my breakfast.

I was about halfway finished when there was a kind of buzz in the hall, and Linux and I dropped our forks and looked around.  Quantum walked in looking very pleased with himself, and all eyes in the room were on him immediately.  He stomped right over to the table in the center of the room and stepped up onto it, using a chair like a staircase.  He clapped his hands twice and there was total silence.  "Troops – fall in!"

I looked at Linux and shrugged and he shrugged back, and I got up and started towards Quantum.  "Come on!"

"I don't have a trophy!" Linux hissed.

"Come on!  He said 'troops' – that's us!"  Linux sighed and followed after me, looking miserable.  The fifteen or so boys that had gone to 'war' the night before clustered around Quantum's table, and he put his hands on his hips and stared out across the room, scowling.

"Troops!  Last night was a great victory for all of us.  Let us celebrate our triumph by displaying the treasures of our vanquished foes." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a frilly pair of pink panties, much fancier than the ones in mine.  He held them high over his head.  "Bring forth the spoils of war!"  

With a sigh, I closed my eyes and reached into my pocket.  When I felt the soft fabric I yanked it out and raised it over my head, and I heard Linux spluttering softly.  "Behold – victory!" Quantum shouted.

"Victory!" the rest of us echoed in a kind of scraggly cheer.

Then, to my utter amazement, Quantum pulled the panties over his head like a frilly pink hat.  "Let us adorn ourselves in the armor of our enemy so that we may parade before our compatriots, resplendent in all our glory!"

"Oh, User!" I moaned softly.  Maybe I just thought it.  I gulped and slipped the panties over my head as a roar of laughter and a few cheers rose in the mess hall. That was a very, very weird feeling, having those things on my head.   Quantum took a flying leap off the table – I have to admit, it was impressive – and landed on the floor with a loud 'thump'.

"Fall in!" He barked, and took off at a regal march.  The rest of us straggled along behind him as the others in the hall hooted and cheered.  That was the nano I realized there was definitely a new leader in the stupidest thing I've ever done category.  I intentionally avoided looking at Linux, because I was pretty sure he'd be grinning his ascii off at my condition and gloating over the fact that even though he was marching, he was doing it without anything on his head.

When you're doing something that stupid and that embarrassing, you get to the stage where you just stop caring anymore and start to enjoy it.  The other guys in the hall were certainly having a good time and eventually I couldn't help but start giggling myself.  It almost felt good, 'cause at least I was _part_ of something and that was a feeling I hadn't had too often in my life.  We looked stupid, but we looked stupid together.

We made a couple of circuits of the hall before Quantum turned and started marching in place, which the rest of us took as our signal to stop, so we did.  He reviewed us for a nano, snagged the panties from his head and held them up high again.  "Troops – resume…  Breakfast!"  There was a loud cheer from the room, and we pulled the panties off and straggled back to our tables.

I was still shaking my head when I sat down and stuffed the panties back in my pocket.  Linux laughed and pounded me on the back.  "Enzo, that was absolutely alphanumeric.  You have no idea how stupid you looked."

"Thanks.  Thanks very much."

"You got guts, Man.  I'm glad I didn't have to walk around with those things on my head!  How'd it feel?"

"How do you _think_?" I scowled.  "Totally weird."

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around to see Quantum standing behind us.  "Hey, Little Men."

"Hey." I grinned.  "Is it over?"

"Is it _over_?  It's never over!  That's why it's a tradition!"  He knelt down between us.  "Remember, as the chosen one it's your solemn responsibility to see that the ritual is passed on next hour.  I was chosen one last hour, and I pass that compact on to you now.  Find another deserving sprout to pass it on to next hour.  Understand?"

"Understand.  I will, I promise."

"Good solider."  He nodded at Linux.  "You – help him, got it?"

"Yes Sir – I will." 

"Don't call me 'Sir' – I'm not a teacher.  The solemn ritual is in your hands now, Little Men – the weight of history is on your shoulders.  Can you handle it?"

"Yes, Quantum!" I nodded.  

"Yes Si-  Quantum."

"Good."  Quantum winked at us and walked off, a bit of frilly pink spilling out of his pocket.

"Dude – he's amazing.  I've never met anyone like him." Linux grinned.

"I have.  Maybe a little, anyways."  

"Yeah?  Who?"

"You know him." I smiled.  "So – I was thinking we could have dinner in the great hall tonight…"


	18. Desire

Before dinner, there was lunch.  I figured it would be Lisa and my last planning session before she put her plan – which I was still totally doubtful about – into action that night.  But it started out as something totally different than I expected – as usual.

Lisa was waiting for me at our usual table when I got to the mess hall.  I still got a little rush of adrenaline whenever I saw her gold hair shining from across a room, and I couldn't help smile a little.  She had the most amazing physical effect on me – I could hear my heart start to pound, and my face get all flushed and my head feel light.  I figured maybe it would go away after I'd seen her a bunch of times, but I guess it doesn't work that way 'cause it wasn't getting any better.  Thank the User.

"Hey!" I smiled and sat next to her.  It was so hard not to kiss her every time I saw her that it drove me offline, but I settled for squeezing her hand.  "Having a good cycle?"  

"Fine, thanks."  She looked at me kinda funny, with her eyebrow raised a little bit.  "You?"

"OK, I guess.  I had breakfast with Linux…"  I decided not to tell her about what _else_ had happened and breakfast.  "I talked to him about tonight – he knows we're having supper in the great hall."

"You didn't tell him about Patch being there, did you?"

"No!" I frowned.  "Of course not – I'm not _totally_ basic, you know.  Did you talk to Patch?"

"Oh, I talked to her all right." Lisa smiled.  She stared at me for a nano, making me squirm in my chair.  Her stare always did that.  "Enzo, is there anything you'd like to tell me?"

"Tell you?  What do you mean?"

"Oh, you know – just anything about anything.  Is there?"

"No – not really."  She was freaking me out – she didn't seem _mad_ exactly, but she was definitely hiding something.  "What's the matter?  Is something wrong?"

Her face softened up a little.  "I guess I'm going to have to come right out and ask you, aren't I?  You aren't too good at all this subtle hinting stuff."

"I'm not basic, if that's what you mean!  Jeez…"

"I know you're not, Silly.  You're just a very direct sprite, that's all.  So _I'll_ be direct – where were you last night, about twenty-nine hundred?"

My jaw dropped.  She knew!  Oh crash, she knew…  "Uh…"

"I was talking to Patch – she told me some _very_ interesting things happened on her side of the dorm building last night."

"Interesting?"  I just wanted to stall for time for a nano, think.  Maybe she didn't know I was there – we _had_ been wearing masks after all!  "Um – interesting how?"

Lisa's eyes were burning holes in me.  "She said a bunch of boys were outside, wearing silly masks and shouting and yelling and making asciis out of themselves.  She said they were asking for panties, and some of the girls even threw some down.  She said some of them even seemed to enjoy it.  They called it a 'panty-raid'."

"Oh.  That _is_ interesting." I said weakly.

"Isn't it.  She also said that two of the boys were quite short.  Smaller than the others.  So I was just wondering if-"

"I was there." I sighed.  I couldn't lie to her – I just couldn't.  I didn't _want_ to.

"Enzo!"  Lisa pursed her lips at me and shook her head.  "I can't believe it – how could you get involved in something like that?"

"It's not that big a deal, is it?  We were just goofing around."

"Is that what you call it?  I call it degrading and insulting and infantile, that's what I call it!"  She crossed her arms and looked away.  "I really thought you were different than all of them Enzo, I really did…"

"I _am_ different, Lisa!" I protested.  "What's the big deal about a stupid prank?  You said yourself some of the girls liked it-"

"That's _their_ problem if they like being treated like sex programs instead of sprites.  I'm so disappointed in you-"

"That's not fair!"  This was a new thing for me – I actually felt mad at Lisa for the first time.  I didn't like it, but I couldn't deny it.  It was a struggle to keep my voice down.  "All we did was go over to the dorm and yell up at them for a few nanos, and most of 'em laughed!  They've been doing it at the Academy forever – even Bob did it!"

"I just don't like you acting like a stupid _boy_…"

"But I _am _a boy!  You…  Crash!"  I took a couple of deep breaths.  "I have to try and fit in here, spammit.  I'm a guy – I'm not allowed to do guy stuff?  I'd never do anything where people were getting hurt or anything, you know.  Never!"

"Maybe you don't think so Enzo, but that was really a dumb thing to do!  It was insulting and stupid and what if you'd gotten caught?"

"So – I'm not allowed to ever do dumb stuff or you won't like me?" I sighed.  "I don't have a chance, then…"

"That's not what I mean – of course I won't stop liking you.  I…  I just-"

"Look – I'm really sorry if I, you know, offended you.  I admit - I thought it was pretty stupid even while I was doing it!  But it was _fun_, too – I've never had a chance to do _guy_ stuff before – y'know?   With guys my own age.  And I really liked it and I don't think I should have to apologize to you for it.  So I…  So I won't.  Not again, anyway."

"Oh, Enzo…"  Lisa shook her head and poked at her lunch.  After a few nanos she looked up at me.  "It's not that I don't want you to be a guy or have fun – I just wish you wouldn't be a _stupid_ one."

"I can't help it, I guess.  I didn't plan it or anything – it just happened."  I was still a little mad at Lisa, but now I was moving back towards just wanting her to love me.  I grabbed her hand.  "You know I'd never do anything if it was _really_ bad – right?  Like what those nulls did to me in the shower.  I'd never do anything if I thought someone was really gonna get hurt or feel bad."

"I know." She smiled.  "I know you wouldn't.  You _couldn't_.  I just hate thinking of you doing the same stuff as those stupid nullheads.  I hate thinking of you _liking_ it even more.  But I guess you can't help being stupid if you're a boy."

I guess I should've been insulted, but I just laughed.  "I'm not as stupid as most of them.  Neither is Linux."

"Well…"  Lisa giggled.  "Maybe he wasn't as stupid as I figured.  Patch actually thought it was kinda cool that he was out there, if you can believe that.  I think she figured he was kind of a dork before."

"Dude – really?  That's pixelacious!"

"Well – the whole thing is pretty bizarre to me, but if she liked it I guess it makes our job tonight a little easier."  She grinned and tapped my nose.  "She still likes _you_, though, Mister Panty-boy – and we'll have to work on that later."

"Not too much, though – I don't want her to hate me or anything!  She's nice.  And it's good to have friends around here."

"Yeah – I guess so." Lisa sighed.

I gave her hand a good squeeze.  "So – we're OK now?"

"Yeah – we're OK, Cutie.  We always were."

"Pixelacious!"  I wanted so much to hug her and kiss her that I actually bounced up and down in my seat a little bit.  Finally I couldn't help myself and pecked her on the cheek.  "User, you're beautiful."

"Enzo – don't!  What if a teacher sees?"

"Sorry." I mumbled.  "I couldn't help it.  Uh… Lover."

"What?" Lisa said stiffly.

"Um – I just…  My brother and AndrAIa call each other that sometimes.  I thought maybe I could have a name for you since you're my girlfriend and all…"

"Well – don't."  Lisa scowled.  _Pushed it too far… _I felt like kicking myself – somehow I just couldn't help saying the dumb thing sometimes.  "Your brother and AndrAIa are how old?"

"Well – 2.5 or so-"

"Then they can call each other anything they want.  But that name has certain…  _Implications_.  So don't call me that anymore."

"Sorry." I whispered.  "I didn't mean anything by it.  I didn't think about that."  Of course I did think about "that" sometimes – but I hadn't been thinking of it just then.  

"I know." Lisa squeezed my hand.  "It's OK."

"It's just – you call me "Cutie" and I kinda really like it and I just thought I should have a name for you…"

She grinned.  "I call you "Cutie" 'cause you're cute, Cutie!"

"Well – maybe I should call you "Beautiful" then.  Since "Most beautiful sprite in the net" would take too long to say."

"Oh, Enzo – stop that."  Now _she_ was blushing for a change.  

"It's true – you are.  So can I call you "Beautiful"?"

"If you want." She smiled and looked down.  "I think it's just dumb – I'm not very beautiful at all-"

"You are."  I gave her hand a good hard squeeze and wished for the millionth time that microsecond I could kiss her properly.  "Just seeing you makes me happy.  You're totally perfect."

"Thank you." She said softly.  I could tell this was making her really uncomfortable because she was still blushing and she didn't look up at me.  "Let's talk about tonight, OK?  You're sure Linux will be there?"

"Yeah – sure." I sighed.  "He's always up to do stuff.  And he doesn't have a clue about Patch."

Lisa looked at me at last.  "Make sure you give us a little extra time before you show up, OK?  I want to plant a few files in Patch's processor.  Maybe last night helped a little bit, who knows."

"I will.  Do you really think this will work?"

"Well – I hope so." She smiled.  "Poor Linux – he seems so sad every time I see him."

"Yeah." I nodded.  "I hope so too – those guys are great.  They really came through for me when I needed 'em.  And if they like each other maybe they'll be a millionth as happy as I am 'cause of you.  That's pretty happy."

"Stop it, you." Lisa giggled.

"I wish we were alone.  I wanna kiss you so bad…"

"You boys _are_ all alike!"

"I can't help it." I whispered.  Sometimes a feeling would come over me and I wanted Lisa so much I could hardly stand it, and it was happening right then.  "Sorry, I just can't.  You're so utterly amazing…"

"Thank you.  And stop it!  Eat your lunch."  She was blushing again.

I'd totally forgotten about my food.  It just didn't seem important.  "OK.  But I still wish we were alone so I could kiss you.  Beautiful…"

"Maybe later."  I froze with my fork halfway up to my mouth.  I've heard about sprites having a glint in their eye but this was the first time I could be sure I was actually seeing it.  I finished my lunch but needless to say, my thoughts were on other things and they stayed there all cycle.

I think Linux started to get a little suspicious before we went to the great hall for dinner – although I don't think he had a clue what he was suspicious _about_.  It's just that I was a acting a little weird – I was nervous about what Lisa was trying to pull off and I wanted to make sure I didn't screw it up before she had the chance.

Because I was nervous I did some stupid stuff – like asking Linux "We're still going to the great hall for dinner, right?" about three times, and when I had to stall for time so we wouldn't get there too early I think I was pretty clumsy about it.  But like I said, Linux didn't have a clue what to be suspicious about so all he did was give me a few weird looks and that was it.

"I don't see why we couldn't just eat dinner in the boys' dorm like we always do." Linux grumbled as we were zipping over.

"Uh – well, we always do.  Like you said.  Don't you ever feel like doing something different?"

"What's different?  It's the same basic food!"

"I guess.  But…  But the sprites are different.  And they have different tables and stuff…"

"Whee!   Different tables."  He looked at me suspiciously.  "Maybe you just want to stare at girls while you eat or something.  You _have_ a girlfriend, Enzo.  Lucky bastard."

I started to sweat – that was uncomfortably close to the truth.  I decided to change the subject.  "Lisa and I had a fight today."

"A fight?  Crash – about what?"

"Well – I guess she found out where I was last night.  You know – the panty raid.  And she didn't like it too much."

Linux tried to look sad, but then he giggled a little.  "Sorry, Dude – was she really mad?"

I punched him on the shoulder.  "Thanks a _lot_.  She was at first – but she's cool.  I told her we were just having fun and we didn't hurt anybody and we didn't plan on doing it, it just happened.  She was OK after a few nanos."

"Did you kiss her?"

"Not in the mess hall, Stupid!"  I neglected to mention the peck on the cheek – that wasn't a real kiss.  "Besides – I'm not allowed to tell anymore, remember?"

"Oh, yeah."  He looked disappointed.

"I really, really wanted to though." I sighed.    "Crash, she is _such_ a total babe…"

"Go ahead – rub it in.  That's real nice."

"Sorry.  But you'll have a girlfriend pretty soon I bet."

Linux laughed in a kind of choking way.  "All the rest of the guy cadets are leaving?  High density!"

"Shut up, Man!  Don't be such an output – I bet girls like you fine."

"No they don't.  They think I'm a pathetic loser."

"Stop it!"  We were outside the great hall now, and this wasn't exactly going like I'd hoped.  "Dude, I only know two girls anyways – Patch and Lisa.  And I know they both think you're alphanumeric."

"I still think you're shittin' me about Patch." Linux mumbled.  

"Hey – I know what I saw, that's all.  C'mon – let's get some food."  We stood in line and I made sure I was behind Linux, so I could look around for the others.  I finally spotted them at a table off in a corner.  I waved for a few nanos and finally Lisa spotted me and made eye contact.  I was worried that we'd gotten there too early, but she gave me a thumb's up.

Linux got his food before I did and started heading for an empty table.  "Wait!" I shouted out.

"Wait for what?  There's a line, you know!" the service binome scowled.

"Sorry!"  I quickly grabbed my tray and started after Linux.  "Wait, Man!   There's Lisa and Patch over in the corner – let's go sit with them."

He jerked his head over to where I was pointing.  "Crash.  I don't want to."

"Why?"

"I just _don't_, OK?  Here's an empty table."

"I can't do that – Lisa would be pissed at me!  She's right over there!" 

"So go then!" Linux mumbled.

"No, Dude – then you'd be by yourself, that's no good."

"Enzo, I don't care.  Just go-"

"Guys!  Hey, guys!"  I shouted and waved, and Patch turned around and both girls waved at us.

"There – they know we're here.  Now we _have_ to go over or they'll think we're total nullheads." I smiled.

"You output!   I don't-"

"Just come on!"  I got behind him and gave him a little push with my boot.  "Just be nice to her, OK?  That's why she likes you – 'cause you're nice."

"Byte me." Linux hissed.  I could tell he was really ticked off at me, but that didn't worry me half as much as how ticked off Lisa would be if I couldn't get him over there.  He at least tried to fake a smile as we got closer to the girls.  "Uh…  Hi you guys."

"Hi Linux.  Hey, Enzo." Lisa grinned.  "Have a seat."  Linux hesitated for a split-nano, and I darted into the chair next to Lisa so he'd have to sit next to Patch.

"Hi, Enzo." Patch smiled at me.  I nodded nervously.  They she looked over at Linux and she was still smiling.  "Hi there."

"Oh!  Uh…  Hi." Linux replied, turning red as Frisket.  "What's processing?"

"Oh, not much.  So – what'd you guys do last night?"

I didn't think he could, but Linux turned even redder and I started to blush too, I think.  Linux didn't say anything right away and I started to answer her, but Lisa squeezed my hand – hard – and I winced and shut up.  "Um…  Nothing much." Linux finally mumbled.

"I hear we have some bad boys on campus." Lisa giggled.  I wasn't sure exactly where she was going, but I figured my best bet was to keep my input shut.

"I dunno." Linux shrugged with a goofy smile.

"Yeah – apparently there was quite a disturbance outside the girls' dorm last night – everyone is talking about it.  Unfortunately I was on the wrong side of the building and I missed it.  Did you see anything, Patch?"

"Actually, I did.  There were a bunch of loud boys down there wearing masks, and some of the girls were throwing panties at them.  Can you imagine?"

"Wow." Linux mumbled.

"I saw the cutest little kitty and monkey out there.  The monkey even caught a pair of panties before our house master chased them off.  Did you boys see anything?"

"Um…  I-"

"We were there." I offered, catching on.  Linux shot me a dirty look.

"Enzo!" Lisa pretended to be horrified.  "I can hardly believe such a thing!  Why would nice boys like you get involved in something like that?"

I shrugged.  "I dunno.  I guess it seemed like it'd be fun.   I was actually pretty scared the whole time but Linux was totally cool and into it."

"Dude – that's so _not_ true!  I-"

"Linux is always better under pressure than me.  Like that time in Laser's office – I was totally scared, but he was cool and he knew exactly what to do.  You too, Patch."

"Guess its 'cause of his brother getting infected, and living in the Supercomputer and everything.  He's used to dangerous stuff like that." Lisa added.

"Yeah – he's used to this stuff.  Mainframe's a pretty small system, nothing exciting ever happens there.  So I guess I panic a little bit when it does here."

Linux was looking totally bewildered by this point.  "Spam – what about all that stuff with your-"

"I guess you lived in the Supercomputer too, didn't you?" Lisa asked Patch.

"Uh-huh.  From when I was 0.8 till 1.2."

"Really?"  Linux talked directly to Patch now, for the first time.  "I was there when I was 0.9.  For almost three hours."

"Yeah?  What school did you go to?"

"Uh…  Celeron, and then one hour at Cyrix Junior High.  Until we had to bug out after…  You know.  The bad stuff."

"Crash – Cyrix, really?" Patch grinned.  "I went to AMD – we used to play you in football!"

"Yeah – I remember!  I remember we beat you 57-3 in our homepagecoming game, too."

"Hey!" Patch scowled and poked Linux in the chest. "_You _got lucky – our best player was hurt that minute."

"A lot more of 'em were hurt _after_ that minute."  

"Ow!"

I'd been fascinated by the sudden turn in the conversation – basically the _existence_ of a conversation – between Patch and Linux, but I immediately focused in on Lisa.  "What's wrong?  What is it?"

"Nothing, I'm sure." She winced, holding her side.  "I just had a sudden pain in my stomach, that's all.  These ram chips must not agree with me."

"Are…  Are you OK?"  Before I knew it my hand was on her shoulder and I was leaning close to her, breathing hard.

"Yeah – I'm fine.  I think I'd better go _home_, though – I should go to bed.  Enzo, will you walk me?"

_Oh_!  "Er – sure, no problem.  I'll take you home.  Don't worry, everything will be OK."

"Thanks." Lisa smiled weakly and pushed herself up from her chair with a groan.  I grabbed her under the shoulders and helped her up, just to make it look good.  And if it also _felt_ good, so what?

"Wait!"  Linux looked panicky all of a sudden.  "Don't go!  We-"

"I think I'd better – my stomach just doesn't feel right."

"Maybe I…  I should go with you-"

"Don't be silly!  He's such a gentleman, isn't he Patch?  I'll be fine with Enzo – we'll manage.  Besides, you've barely started eating.  I'm sure Patch will keep you company."  She whispered in my ear.  "Go!"

"Right!  Let's get you home."  We were already walking towards the door.  "See you guys later."

"Bye." Patch called out.  "Feel better."

"Yeah." Linux added softly.  Lisa and I waved and we kept going, my arm around her shoulder.  I was sure Patch and Linux must've had an idea what was happening, but neither one of them called us out on it.  Maybe that was a good sign.

"You can let me go now." Lisa smiled, as soon as were outside the mess hall.

"Huh?"

"You can let go now – I'll walk on my own."  

Only then did I realize my hands were still around her shoulders.  "Oh!  Sorry."

"That's OK." She giggled.  "I kinda liked it, but we don't want people to get the wrong idea."

"No – of course not."  I sighed.  I grabbed her hand and we walked out into the cool night.  "So – I guess that went pretty OK, huh?"

"I guess so.  It's up to Linux now – if he acts like a jerk or something it'll all be over in a nano.  I just figured it was time for them to be on their own."

"You sure are smart!" I grinned.  "What'd you say to Patch before we got there – your 'sales pitch'?  I hope you didn't tell her I was a virus or something."

"No!  I just talked Linux up a little bit."

"Talked him up _how_?"

She shrugged.  "I just told her what a nice guy he was, and I said he was totally hot.  And I told her that when I met you guys, Linux was the one I was really into – but he liked _her_, so it wouldn't work.  And then I sort of got to like _you_ after I knew I couldn't have him."

"Oh.  That was smart."

I guess I must have looked really pathetic when she said that.  "Aw…  I didn't mean it, I promise!  I knew you were the one from that first nano."

"Really?"

"Promise." She grinned and patted my cheek.  "Linux is nice, but I think you're the real hottie."

"Thanks, Beautiful.  You too."

"Cutie…"

"Crash!"

"What is it?"

"Well…  I hardly got to touch my dinner.  I'm still hungry! And we can't go into town either, it's a school night."

"Poor baby." She giggled.  "Well – why don't you just go back to the boys' dorm and eat there?"

"No – I want to be with you.  I guess I'll just be hungry."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry, Cutie.  Maybe we can find some way to take your processor off it."

"Oh, User!" I sighed.  "Can we _please_ go somewhere so I can kiss you?  I'm going offline!"

"Enzo!  I've never seen you like this."

"I know.  I just… I've been thinking about kissing you all cycle and I'm going crazy.  Don't you wanna kiss me?"

"Well…  Sure." Lisa smiled.  "I'm just wondering what's gotten into you, that's all."

"Nothing.  I just wanna kiss you.  Can we?"

"Sure.  But where?"

"Um…"  After a couple nanos I remembered our run from the panty-raid back to our dorm the night before.  "There's some directory trees at the bottom of the hill not far the girl's dorm – how about there?"

"Well…"

"C'mon!"  I tugged on her hand.  "Just look at it, OK?  There's hardly any sprites there and it's real dark.  It's perfect!"

"All right, all right!  Show me." Lisa sighed.  I grinned and took off at a jog, still holding her hand.  All I could think about was in a few nanos maybe I'd be kissing her.  I've never wanted anything else in quite the same way in my life.

We were both a little out of breath by the time we got to the little patch of trees at the bottom of the hill.  There weren't that many of them but they were thickly clustered, and when we standing in the center no one would have known we were there unless they were almost right next to us.  We could only see little patches of light from the dorm windows up the hill.  We took a few nanos to catch out breath, then I smiled at her.  "Well?  Is this OK?"

Lisa looked around a few times.  "Yes - I think so.  As long as no one walks in on us."

"They won't, I promise."

"OK, then." She laughed softly.  She settled down on the grass, cross-legged.  "I just don't know what's gotten into you today, Enzo!"

"Sorry." I whispered.  I sat in front of her and crossed my legs.  "If you don't want to, it's OK-"

"No – I want to."

"Really?"  She nodded.  "Cool!  I don't know why, I've just been thinking about you so much it's making me basic.  You're just so beautiful and so nice…"

"I think about you too, you know." Lisa said softly.  She grabbed my hand and brushed my forearm with the back of her other one, back and forth.  It felt wonderful.  

"You really do?  You think about me?"

"Yes."  She leaned in and kissed my cheek gently.

"Alphanumeric."  She smiled and started to move her lips towards mine, but I put my hand on her cheek.  "Hang on a nano?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing.  I just want to look at you first, OK?"

"Enzo!" she giggled.  I really did just want to look at her – I needed to.  It was like I had to slow down and convince myself that she was real.  I just sat there and stared at her eyes, I don't know for how long.  "Enzo…"

"OK.  I'm ready."  I put my hands on her shoulders and felt hers on my ribcage, under my arms.  _Relax – just relax_! I told myself.  I could kind of feel my whole system overheating and I desperately wanted to slow down, 'cause I knew already that kissing her and everything felt better when I took it slowly instead of rushing it.  But her lips were getting closer and closer to mine and my processor was running faster and faster and before I knew it, it was happening – we were kissing.

"Mmmmm." My heart started thumping like crazy and it was just…  Explosive.  I can't think of a better word.  Every time I kissed Lisa was wonderful and different, but this time her kiss just seemed to shoot through my whole body and I was glad I was sitting down, because if I'd been standing I might've fallen and not only because of that either.

After we'd kissed for a long time – with a few short breaths thrown in just for fun – I pulled Lisa to me and hugged her really hard.  She tucked her head under my chin and I kissed her hair, over and over. At that nano the thought of not having her as my girlfriend was scarier than a web full of Daemons.  "Enzo…  That was wonderful."

As for me, basic as it sounds I couldn't even talk for a while.  It was like she'd taken all the air out of my lungs when she kissed me and all I could do was sit there and hug her, so that's exactly what I did.  It was very quiet out among those trees at night, and I could hear my heart thumping in my chest, and a little wind in the trees, and I could smell her hair and even though it was cool outside we were sweating a little and I could smell that, too.  I could see a little sheen on her neck in the pale light, just a tiny shine against the smooth teal.  Her skin was so close to my lips and I wanted desperately to lower my head just a little, and kiss her there, taste her skin – but I didn't.  I was afraid – I knew that somehow that was totally different than what we'd been doing, something new, and I just wasn't ready for it.

So instead I just held her for a long time, hugged her against me as the night got darker and darker and kissed her hair sometimes and loved how soft and warm she felt against me.  And finally, once I felt strong enough and had enough air back inside me, I took her face in my hands and stared at her for a nano and kissed her on the nose, and then kissed her on the lips again and felt the fire shooting through me.

It's amazing how fast time goes by when you're hugging and kissing a pretty girl – once we'd done our second round of kissing it was almost lights out.  In more ways than one.  I walked Lisa back up to her front door and since there was no one around by this time, I dared to give her a good-night kiss, short but sweet.  "Night."

"Night Enzo.  Sleep tight."

"I'll miss you." I sighed.  She smiled and patted my cheek, then disappeared into the girls' dorm.  I stared at the door for a nano, then turned for home.

I wanted to take a long, slow walk back to my dorm and think about everything I was feeling, but I couldn't 'cause of the time – getting caught out after L.O. is a bad file.  So I zipped back and headed straight up to my room, Lisa still taking up pretty much my whole RAM.

Linux was in bed when I got back there and I was a little shocked for a nano, like I'd forgotten there was anyone else in the net except Lisa and me.  Of course as soon as I saw him I was curious about how _his_ evening had gone, but I didn't wanna come right out and ask him.  "Hey."

"Hey."

I kicked off my boots off and 'booted into my shorts and t-shirt and flopped down on the bed.  "How was…  You know.  You and Patch?"

Linux raised himself onto his elbow and stared at me.  "You kissed her again, did you?"

"What?"

He smiled a little.  "Lisa.  I can tell – you get this spacy look on your face like you aren't all there.  It must be pretty amazing."

"Uh…"  The memory of how mad Lisa had gotten was still vivid in my processor and I didn't want to admit anything, but I guess it wasn't my fault if Linux could guess it on his own.  As for me, I wanted to change the subject before I got into any more trouble.  "Yeah.  It's pretty good.  Did you and Patch have fun?"

"We didn't kiss, if that's what you mean." Linux sighed and leaned back with his hands behind his head.

"Sorry, Dude.  Was it OK, though?"

"It was OK.  We talked for a while and I didn't make a total ascii of myself – at least I don't think I did.  I guess that's progress.  We have a lot in common…"

"Definitely." I grinned.  "So it was cool?  You gonna see her again?"

"I dunno.  Maybe.  I hope so – she's really cute."

"Yeah – she is.  Ask her out again – she'll say yes!"

"Well – we might go see a quicktime in town this minute-end, so I-"

"Dude – that's pixelacious!" I laughed.  "You work fast!"

"Shut up.  It's just a quicktime."

"Whatever.  It's still pixelacious, though."

"Yeah, I guess."  He deleted his light.  "You wanna double, maybe?"

"Um – double what?"

"Double-date, stupid!" he giggled.  "I keep forgetting you don't know any of this stuff.  You wanna double-date?"

"I'll ask Lisa – it sounds cool."

"Might be better for me.  First date and everything…" he said softly.  "I'm gonna crash – lights out.  C ya in the morning."

"Yeah – C ya." I sighed.  "Crash – I have all this stupid homework and I haven't done any of it!  Too much other stuff going on, it's not fair."  I turned on my organizer.

"Life's not fair, Dude.  Night."

"Night."

"I know what you did, you know." Linux grumbled.

"Huh?"

"I know what you guys did.  You and Lisa.  I'm not basic."

"Oh."  Well, that didn't come as any big surprise.  "Sorry Linux, we-"

"It's OK.  Thanks."

"Oh!  Cool." I grinned.  "Any time."

"Night, Nullhead."

"Night, Output."

I worked on my homework for a little while, feeling guilty that I'd been kinda neglecting my studying.  The last thing in the net I wanted was to have everyone be disappointed in me, but somehow it turned out there was a lot more to life at the Academy than I'd expected.  I resolved – not for the first time – that I was really gonna crack down and start studying hard.

Problem was, I was having a real hard time concentrating.  No matter how much I tried to focus on COBOL syntax or game-sprite subgroups I kept drifting to Lisa.  She was everywhere inside my head, wherever I looked.  It felt like she was inside my whole body.

After a while of staring motionless at the screen on my organizer, I finally gave up on my homework for the night.  I shut down my organizer and deleted my light and lay there in the dark, listening the slow 'thump' of my heart and Linux' soft snores coming from the other side of the room, and I couldn't fall asleep.

As I lay there a new feeling came over me, something powerful and different than anything I'd never experienced before.  See, from the first nano I ever saw Lisa I knew she was beautiful, and I never stopped knowing it whenever I thought about her.  But this was different.  I don't know whether it was the panty-raid or wanting to kiss her all cycle or the incredible memory of _actually_ kissing her a few millis earlier, or some combination of all of them.  But somehow they all built and built up on themselves and overwhelmed me and I felt an incredible, agonizing desire for Lisa.  My whole body ached with it.  It was terrible and wonderful, all at the same time.

For those nanos as I lay there in the dark I was a man, not a boy.  What I felt inside me was as powerful as anything _any_ man had _ever_ felt, I knew it.  Some part of me knew it was wrong to think about Lisa that way but I couldn't help it, I was consumed by it until it was all I was, this incredible longing for her that grew and grew and grew until it actually made me cry a little.

I burrowed under my covers and my whole body was tingling.  I could feel every thread of the blanket and every beat of my heart and I felt totally and completely alive.  My body responded in a way it never had before, like the dream I'd had about Lisa but more powerful, more awesome because I was awake, almost painfully awake.  Just a touch sent explosions through me, almost making me cry out.  I had some idea that these things happened, that they were possible, but no talk from Bob or anything else could have prepared me for how devastating they could be.

I let the feelings build and build, needing to help them along only a little bit, and I got more and more terrified and more and more excited at the same time.  I couldn't have stopped if I'd wanted to – the feelings just grew and became more and more thrilling and any logical thoughts I might have had were totally irrelevant. It was just about loving Lisa and wanting her desperately and incredible sensations coursing through my body until it was all too much and it overwhelmed me and I think I did cry out, just a little – more like a whimper than anything else – and the most incredible sensation of all washed over me and all I could see were stars dancing in front of my eyes.

Afterwards I lay there, not moving, for a long time.  My breath was coming in quick gasps and my heart was pounding and I just listened to them, felt them slow little by little as a strange lightness filled my head.  I remember being utterly amazed that my puny body could make feelings like that, something so powerful and wonderful and scary.  A part of me tried to be ashamed, wanted to feel guilty for what had happened, but that was buried a long way inside me for the nano.  I was tired, but it was kind of pleasant – I could feel the tiredness pushing me gently to sleep.  I heard Linux' snoring and was vaguely relieved that he hadn't woken up.

As I drifted off Lisa was still in my processor, but it was different now – not the intense, almost painful feeling of wanting her badly like before – it was more of a pleasant knowledge of how wonderful she was, how much I loved her and how lucky I was.  It was soothing, and between that wonderful image of her face and the soft fog that had fallen over me I fell blissfully asleep in a few nanos.


	19. Red Sky at Morning

Please see reviews for a brief author's note…

The next morning was when the guilt hit, and it hit full force almost as soon as I woke up.  The memories of how fantastic I'd felt were still strong, but now I just felt dirty and ashamed.  I was sure I was sick – a total pervert who didn't deserve a girlfriend like Lisa.  I was just as sure that if she knew what kinds of thoughts I'd had, how I longed for her, she'd never speak to me again.

Like I said, Bob had tried to warn me about some of this stuff - in an embarrassed, goofy, Bob kinda way.  He hadn't come close to what I was feeling now though.  Still, I couldn't really blame him – how could anyone have ever told me in _words_ what those feelings from the night before were like?  What the guilt I was feeling now was like?  Even if he'd tried – and he hadn't really gotten very close – it would've been impossible.  It's all so much bigger than words that it's not even funny.  I was just gonna have to get through it all on my own and hope it got better, and try and ease up myself for being so weak.

Funny how you can be all worried and offline about something and have no idea that by the end of the cycle other stuff will totally push it out of your processor.  But I didn't even have that much time to dwell on it that morning though, as it turned out.  Right after Linux and I got back from the showers both of our organizers started beeping at us.  We shared a look of dread and accessed the message.  It was a short one:

ATTENTION: DORM ASSEMBLY AT 0750 TODAY

MESS HALL

ATTENDANCE IS MANDATORY

"Yuck." I said softly.

"Shit.  What do you think it is?"

I shrugged.  "Who knows?  I doubt it's anything good, Dude – 'mandatory meeting' usually means 'you're in trouble.'"

"We better get down there – we'll _definitely_ be in trouble if we're late."

"Cursors and crashes!  OK, let's go."  A whole bunch of possibilities were running through my RAM as we rode downstairs, none of them very appealing.  Whatever was going on it involved every cadet in the dorm, apparently – and that made me feel better in a stupid, little kid sort of way.

We didn't have to wait long – Linux and I got to the mess just a couple of millis before seven-fifty and found a seat.  I'd never seen the mess so full, and almost everybody was whispering and squirming nervously.  I did notice that Quantum didn't look too worried, though – he was sitting with his little brother a couple tables up from us, and he looked just as calm as could be.

The hall went dead silent at seven-fifty and everyone's head turned, including mine.  Laser was walking in, looking perfectly calm and very sharp in his dress blues.  Everyone stood stiffly as soon as Laser came in, of course.  He walked right up to the front of the room and turned to face us, with his hands behind his back.  Mr. Garamond, the house master, stood next to him.  "Good morning, Cadets."

"Good morning, Headmaster." The room answered back in a kind of scraggly shout.

"I won't keep you long.  Ms. Arial has informed me that there was an incident at the ladies' dorm a couple of nights ago.  I'm sure this won't come as any surprise to most of you in this hall."  There was no answer – just a nervous silence.  A big drop of sweat rolled down my forehead and right into my eye and I didn't dare wipe it off – I just stood there and let it burn.

"Perhaps some of you have heard the expression 'Boys will be boys'.  Well, I don't much care for that expression – it condones stupid, childish behavior of the sort I won't accept from Guardian cadets.  There's no such thing as a 'harmless prank' when it disrupts the smooth operation of this Academy.  The fact that you're young doesn't excuse it; nor does the fact that this particular prank has been a staple of Academy behavior since before you were born.  It was stupid then, and it's stupid now.  If you act like adults, I'm going to treat you like adults.  Since you've chosen to act like little boys, that's I'll treat you as such.

"You might remember that I told you on your first cycle here that you would all succeed or fail together, as a unit.  I believe that to be one of the most important lessons you will learn here.  Therefore, rather than going through the time and effort of determining who was responsible for this nonsense, you will all be punished together.  As a unit.

"For the rest of this minute you will report directly back to this dormitory after your final class.  You will eat dinner in this hall.  Afterwards you will go directly to your rooms until lights out – the recreation facilities are off limits.  For this minute-end no young man will be allowed to leave the campus for any reason.  If you do, don't bother to come back.  Am I making myself clear?"

"Yes Sir." The hall answered dejectedly.

"Good." Laser smiled.  "Enjoy your breakfast, and don't be late for class.  At ease."  He nodded briskly and walked out of the hall, Mr. Garamond two steps behind him.

"There goes my quicktime with Patch." Linux moaned.

"Sorry, Dude." I sighed.  "But at least it wouldn't have mattered whether we were there or not – the whole dorm took the fall.  Besides – there's always lunch, and next minute. C'mon – let's get some food."  What was running through my head was, _How in the net am I gonna find a way to kiss Lisa? That is, if I can ever face her again…  _But I didn't say it to Linux – I didn't wanna sound selfish.

Quantum and his brother Rom were a couple places ahead of us in the chow line.  Quantum looked over his shoulder and I grinned a little and shrugged.  "Basic, huh?  Guess it wasn't too bad."

He laughed.  "Same punishment every hour, Little Man."

"Huh?"

"He did the same thing last hour, Enzo – pole-axed the whole dorm.  Before he was infected my Dad told me they did it when _he_ was at the Academy, too.  The punishment is as much a part of the tradition as the raid, I think."

"Dude – no way!"

"Yeah!  It was worth it, believe me – I got me a pair of beauties.  Besides – it's an honor to be asked to serve, and don't you forget it."  He loaded his tray, winked at me, and stormed off towards the tables.

"Wow.  Your brother definitely has style." I said softly.  I suppose I should have been mad at him for getting us in trouble, but I wasn't – I still felt grateful to be included, basic as that sounds.

Rom shrugged.  "He's something, all right.  I gave up trying to keep up with him hours ago.  C ya around."

"C ya."  Rom went off to join his brother, I waited for Linux to get his breakfast and that was the last either of us talked about the panty-raid for a while.

Once the disappointment about being grounded died down, I was pretty worried about lunch.  I almost skipped out on Lisa and ate at the boys' dorm – I wasn't sure how I'd feel when I saw her.  But as much as I didn't want to see her I _did_ want to see her, too – and I knew I couldn't run away from her forever.  If I didn't see her at lunch she'd wonder why and wonder if anything was wrong, and for every cycle I avoided her it would get worse.  So I swallowed hard and went and met her at our usual spot.

"Hey!  No lunch today?"

"Not too hungry." I sat next to her and tried to smile.  User, it was tough – I felt horribly ashamed of myself for all the things I'd thought and felt.  If she knew…

"What's processing?"

"Uh…"  I tried desperately to make the part of my processor that controlled talking to people work in a normal way.  It was enough that I felt like a jerk around her, I didn't want to _sound_ like one too.  "We, eh, we got grounded."

"Grounded?"  Lisa furrowed her brow.  "What in the net do you mean?"

"Laser.  He grounded the whole dorm for a minute for the panty-raid.  Basic, huh?"

"That bytes!  But you must have been expecting it, right?  It's not like he wasn't gonna find out!"

I shrugged.  This was good, talking to her in an almost normal way.  It made me feel less perverted.  "I never really thought about it, I guess.  But yeah – I mean, the house mistress or whatever she's called chased us over half the campus so it's not like it was a big secret."

Lisa giggled.  The sound was so wonderful that I couldn't help smiling a little.  "I wish I'd seen that – you in your little mask, running through the woods with that big, scary woman chasing you!"

"Yeah, well…  I'm glad she didn't catch us or I'd _really_ be in trouble."

"Yeah.  I was wondering about something, by the way – were you the monkey or the kitty-cat?"

"Um – the monkey.  Why?"

Lisa's eyes narrowed.  "Well – Patch said something about the monkey catching a pair of panties, that's all.  So _did_ you?"

I don't even wanna know what the look on my face was like – I'm sure it wasn't pretty.  "I…  I mean-"

"Where are they?"  She smiled.  "Are you wearing them now?"

"No!" I said too loudly.  "No!  I mean – everybody _else_ was trying to catch them-"

"Stop!" Lisa laughed.  "I'm just torturing you, that's all."

"You…  You're not mad?"

"No, I guess not.  I still think the whole thing is stupid, but I'm not really mad about it."  She squeezed my hand and I smiled.  "Besides – if you want to wear girls' panties who am I to say you shouldn't?"

"But- I'm not!" I gasped.  "I mean – I'd never-"

"User – you're so easy!"

"Oh.  You're kidding."  She was still giggling.  "If you really want to know, I buried them at the bottom of my foot-locker.  Maybe I'll keep 'em as a souvenir or something…"

"Some souvenir." Lisa scowled.  "Boys!"

Normally this wouldn't be the sort of conversation I'd look forward to having with Lisa, but under the circumstances it was actually sorta nice.  It kept me from having to talk about other things that were even more embarrassing.  Not that I could have talked about them anyway, but I'd sure be _thinking_ about them.  I noticed Lisa was about done with her lunch.  "You wanna take a little walk?"

"Sure – I guess."  She stroked the back of my hand.  "You sure you aren't gonna eat anything, Cutie?"

"No – I'm not hungry today."

"Are you OK?"

"I'm fine."  I managed a smile.  "I'll get that, c'mon."  I grabbed her tray in one hand and her hand in the other.  I dumped the tray and we slowly walked outside, into the bright daylight.  "Nice to be away from all those people…"

"This isn't about getting me somewhere you can kiss me again, is it?"

"No!  Not this time.  I…  I just wanna talk, I guess."  I led her around to the back of the building and leaned back against it with a sigh, wondering what I wanted to say to her.

"That's scraggy about you being grounded.  No walks after dinner or anything, and we can't go to town this weekend."

"You could go."

"Not without you." She smiled.  "I wouldn't want to.  And what about Linux and Patch?  She said they were gonna go see a quicktime this minute-end!  Crash."

"Yeah, well…  They'll be OK.  They can have lunch and talk and stuff."

"Like we do."

"Yeah.  Like we do."

Lisa smiled and leaned closer to me.  She ran her fingers through my hair.  "Last night was wonderful, Enzo.  Kissing you was amazing.  I've been thinking about it all cycle."

"Yeah?  Me too.  It…  It was alphanumeric."

"Enzo - What's wrong?" she said softly.

"Nothing."  I knew it was weak, but it was all I could come up with.

She looked a little hurt.  "Don't you like kissing me, Enzo?"

"Oh, User!  Yes!  It-  You're amazing.  It's the best thing I've ever done, I swear!"

"Well…  What's the matter?"  I stared into her eyes for a nano and she stared back, trying to see inside me.  I wrapped my arms around her and put my head on her shoulder.  "Enzo, What's the matter?"

"I…"  I just couldn't find any words.  Hugging her I realized I was helpless – the way I felt about her was never gonna change, and I was stupid to think I could have any control over it.  All I could do was try and deal with it as well as I could.   "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" she whispered, stroking my hair.  

"I…  Don't know." I sighed.  "I wish I was different.  I want to be perfect for you."

"You _are_."

"No – I'm not.  I-"

"I wouldn't want you to be perfect, Cutie – that'd be boring.  But you're perfect for _me_."

"Stop!" I didn't want to hear that from her.  If she knew how sick I was…

"What in the net's the matter, Enzo?  Why are you getting all offline like this?"

"I-"  I came close to telling her everything at that nano – well, almost everything - but I stopped, right at the edge of the cliff.  "I don't deserve to have a girlfriend like you."

"Don't be stupid.  Because of the panty thing?"

"No!"  Not _really_ anyway.  "It's not that.  I…  I just don't."

"Stop." She said softly.  "Whatever it is, I'm sure you're just being silly.  It wouldn't matter."

"You don't know." I scrunched my eyes up tight and I didn't even want to be _holding_ her, I didn't deserve it, but it felt too good and I needed it too much to stop.

"I do _so_ know.  I told you I knew you were the one I wanted to kiss, right from that first nano.  If I was wrong that'd make me pretty stupid, wouldn't it?"

"You're not stupid."

"You bet I'm not.  So whatever you're all upset about, forget it.  It's not important."

"It's just… Sometimes I don't like myself very much."

"We all get like that sometimes-"

"Not like this." I sighed.  She felt warm and soft and perfect, too perfect.  "You're so special and it makes me want to be a better sprite, for you, and I just can't, I just hate myself more…"

"Enough!  You _always_ do this, you know that?"

I lifted my head and frowned at her.  "What?"

"You always do this!  You always find something about yourself to feel bad about.  I've only known you a few minutes and I can already see it!"

"That's…  I do not!"

"Yes you do, Enzo.  And I'm getting tired of it."

"Well…"  I knew she was right, deep down – I'd already kinda figured it out myself.  Like I said, doubting ourselves is always gonna be a part of who me and Matrix are.  "This is different, you don't understand-"

"I _do_understand.  That's what you don't like."

"Lisa-"

"You know how hard it was for me to tell you about my father?  Huh?  You know how many guys would've run screaming away from me the nano they found out about that?"

"But – that's stupid!  I'd never do that!"

"I _know_, Cutie.  It might be stupid to you, but not for most guys.  That's why you're so special.  There's a lot of stuff about myself I don't like, believe me.  Some of it I talk about, and some of it I don't.  I just try and accept it…"  She cupped my chin in her hand.  "I was lucky and found someone else who would, too.  And so did you, Dummy."  She gave me a quick peck on the nose.  "OK?"

"OK." I sighed.  She was right, there really wasn't anything I _could_ do about it, except try and accept what I felt – that and treat Lisa as nicely as I possibly could, all the time.  She certainly deserved it.  "You're amazing."

"This is partly my fault.  I've been kind of a jerk to you sometimes, y'know?"

"No!"

"Yes I have.  I gave you a hard time about stuff and I had no right to do it.  I got mad about the panty-raid thing and it was dumb of me – you were just goofing around, having fun.  And I _way_ overreacted to you telling Linux we kissed.  I liked you because of who you are and I shouldn't have tried to change you.  It's stupid."

"Lisa, no!"  I couldn't believe _she_ was feeling guilty.  "You were right, that panty-raid was dumb and it got me grounded-"

"Enzo, listen."  She took my face in her hands.  "I meant what I said – you're amazing because you accepted me for who I was, even though I know it freaked you out.  And what did I do?  I liked you right away, and then I kept criticizing you all the time.  I'm not gonna do that anymore – you're perfect for me, just like you are.  Act silly and be a dumb boy as much as you want – you're still my Enzo.  So don't change – ever."

Wow.  "Lisa…"  I gave her a good hard squeeze and kissed her on the cheek.  "I love you."

 I could feel her body stiffen when I said it – it was pretty obvious I'd surprised her.  Crash, I'd surprised myself – I sure hadn't _planned_ to say it.  It was like the first time I kissed her – it just bubbled up inside me and jumped out before I could stop it.  "Oh, Enzo-"

"Sorry.  Sorry, sorry, sorry!  I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything-"

"You do?  Really?"  She looked very pale, which sure didn't seem like a good sign for me.

I would have given anything to turn time back right then – just ten nanos would have been plenty, just long enough to whack myself on the head before I had a chance to open my mouth.  "I'm sorry!"  I started to stand up and I was planning to run, but she grabbed my wrist.

"Wait!"

"Lemme go, OK?  I…  I never said that.  I don't know why I said it-"

"Enzo – I love you too."

"What?"

"I love you too!"  She smiled and let out a big breath.  "Wow!  That's a pretty scary thing, huh?"

"You do?  Really?"  I still felt weak and dizzy, but all of a sudden it wasn't so bad.

"Of course I do."  We kissed, just a quick one, on the lips.  "I didn't really _plan_ to love anyone till I was a Guardian and 1.8 or something but I guess it's not something you can plan out, is it?"

"N-no.  I guess it isn't." I grinned like an idiot.  She loved me!  "I guess it just sorta happens."

"Yeah."  She ran her fingers through my hair and I did the same to hers.  "I'm glad it happened.  I really do love you."

"Me to.  You, I mean!  Wow…"  I hugged her again, hard as I could.

"Ouch!   Not so hard - I need my body to live, you know!"

"Sorry!"

"You're stronger than you look." Lisa giggled.  "Well, Enzo – you surprised me again."

"I surprised myself!   I don't know why I said that."

"I don't know either." Lisa sighed.  "I wouldn't have had the nerve to say it to you.  I definitely wasn't ready for this – it seems too fast."

"Yeah."  I couldn't disagree – it _did_ seem too fast.  But what could I do about how I felt?  It wasn't like changing your shirt or getting a haircut.

"I'm still glad.  I was worried you might not feel like I did-"

"What?" I gasped.  "I…  You don't have to worry about that!  I totally love you, Lisa.  I can't believe you worried about _that_!"

"I don't see why not.  We've only known each other a few minutes.  I've never even had a boyfriend before – how am I supposed to know what to think?"

"Well… You never have to worry about that.  I'll always love you."

"Enzo – you say the most amazing things…."  She smiled and we hugged again, for a long time.  "Crash, we better get to class – it's getting late."

"Yeah – class."  It seemed bizarre to think about going to class after I'd just heard the most amazing words in my life, but class _was_ about to start.  Still, I wanted to do anything I could to delay the nano – anything but let her go.  I squeezed her hand in mine and kissed her cheek.  "That's a beautiful ring."

"Oh!  Uh – thanks.  It was…a gift.  I've had it for a long time…"

"What kind is it?"  It was a dark blue stone, almost black, with a shine in the center like a star.

"Sapphire." She said softly, dreamily as I nuzzled her cheek.

"It's beautiful.  It reminds me of your eyes."

"Oh, Enzo."  She sighed deeply and looked at me for a nano, then nuzzled my cheek back.  "You're the sweetest boy in the net, you know that?  But we really need to go to class."

"Yeah."  I reluctantly let Lisa go and squeezed her hand one last time.  "I'm grounded  - well, you know that.  Right after class.  So I won't see you until tomorrow lunchtime."

"That's OK.  We'll eat fast, then walk."

"Yeah." I smiled.  "_Very _fast.  See you tomorrow – Beautiful."

"Bye, Enzo."  Lisa kissed me on the cheek and waved, and I watched her for a couple nanos before I hopped onto my zip board and raced to class, without a nano to spare.

It's hard for me to talk about anything else that happened after Lisa said what she said, but life did go on, so I had to go on too.  And it sounds basic, but getting grounded for the whole week was probably the best thing that could've happened to me.  So much had been going on – the panty-raid, the explosion of feelings for Lisa that shook me up so badly, and everything else – that the real reason I _came_ to the Academy sorta got pushed off to the side of my brain.  But I never totally forgot it.

Being grounded meant a lot less distractions for me, I'll say that much – no game room, no kissing, no trips to town.  I always _tried_ to avoid getting distracted by those things but before we got 'pole-axed' I was never really able to do it – maybe I really am too young to deal with that stuff, just like Mouse said.  But now I didn't have any choice – my life was pretty much down to classes, eating and homework.  Linux and I did our best to keep ourselves amused, but without anywhere to go I actually studied a whole lot more.  

And it was OK, y'know?  It only lasted a minute but it got me back on track, got me more focused on why I was here.  I started some good habits that I was able maintain even after the minute was over – like doing homework immediately after classes, before dinner.  I liked the feeling of having my homework done early and being free – it made me feel like a grown-up.  I won't say I didn't get distracted sometimes – at night in bed I still had thoughts about Lisa I was ashamed of, although it didn't seem as perverted now – and I won't say I kept perfect study habits once I was free to do all the other stuff I'd been doing before Laser's punishment.  But I was definitely better.  I guess with being away from Dot's nagging for the first time it was pretty hard for me to concentrate on stuff like school, so I needed all the help I could get.  Laser's a pretty smart guy.

So you could say it was a pretty boring minute, but I didn't really hate it – a boring minute was just what I needed in a lot of ways.  I felt my life slowing down to a pace where it seemed like I could control it a little better, and that was a good feeling.  Lisa was never too far from my processor, but we saw each other at lunch every day and talked and laughed and kissed a little, when we could slip away for a few nanos.  I always wanted more time with her, but it was enough for the nano – and just talking to her was pixelacious.  We loved each other, and we were OK.

Linux and Patch started having lunch together, too – they sat a little ways off from Lisa and me and I always asked Linux about it later, in our room, but he'd get all shy and blush and say it was no big deal, they were just friends.  What I was thinking was, _If you're just friends why are you blushing?_  But I didn't push it – when he felt like talking, we'd talk.  Maybe even double-date, like he said.  That'd be cool.

No big surprise, but the first cycle after our punishment was over me and Lisa decided to take a long walk together after dinner.  My lips had mostly a whole week to rest up and they were desperate to get back to work.  I felt good – I'd done my homework already, I was caught up in all my classes, no bullies had bothered my for a couple minutes and I was holding hands with the most amazing girl in the entire net.

Neither one of us said it out loud, but we both knew which way we were headed – towards the little forest down the hill from the girls' dorm.  We weren't in a hurry, but I could sense my heartbeat getting faster and faster as we got closer – it knew exactly what was gonna happen when we got there.  The anticipation of just being close to Lisa grew and grew until it was almost more than I could stand, and I started to sweat and breathe hard.  And it didn't disappoint – kissing her was every bit as alphanumeric as I'd remembered.  It'd been a long minute – felt like a deleted _day_.

I would have been happy to just stay there all night and the next cycle, too, but unfortunately that wasn't an option.  After we'd smooched for a while Lisa whispered in my ear.  "I have to get back pretty soon.  I still have homework to do."  Lisa was a better student than me – a more hard-working one, anyways.

"Skip it.  Let's stay here forever."

"Can't.  I'd flunk out and my Mom would be mad."

"Crash.  OK, then."  

"OK – I give." I sighed.  I stood and helped her to her feet.  "You want me to walk you home?"

"Sure, Cutie.  But it's right up the hill – we could practically spit on the dorm from here!"

"Wanna try?" I giggled.

"Maybe next time."

"OK."  We linked arms and started up the hill.  "I wish it was farther.  I wish it was a cycle's walk back to the dorm."

"That's a pretty long ways!" Lisa laughed.  "Wouldn't you be worried about running out of things to say?"

"Nah – I wouldn't care.  We wouldn't need to talk at all."

"You're such a romantic, aren't you?"

"Only about you."

"Stop it!"  No matter how slowly I tried to walk the dorm kept getting closer and closer , crash it.  "Speaking of romance – has Linux talked to you about Patch at all?"

"Not much – he's even shyer than me!  I can tell he really likes her, though.  What about Patch – she said anything?"

"She just says they talk sometimes at lunch.  Big file – _I_ could see that!"  She frowned thoughtfully.  "I don't like it – I worked so deleted hard to set them up and I can't even find out what's going on!"

"Lisa!  It's not like there's anything we can do about it."

"Why not?  I at least want to _know_."

"Linux said something about a double-date, before we got grounded..."

"Double-date?  Really?"  Lisa grinned.  "Enzo – that's perfect!  Why didn't I think of it?  We can watch them in action.  Ask him about it tonight, OK?  We can go into town this minute-end – I'll get to the bottom of things then!"

"OK." I shrugged.  "If you want."

"Graphical!"  We were on her doorstep, practically, so we had to unlink arms.  "So I'll see you tomorrow, at lunch."

"I'll miss you."

"Stop it – you're being silly!  Ask Linux, OK?"

"I will.  Wish I could kiss you good-night…"

"I do too, Cutie.  Sleep well, OK?"

"I will."  I smiled.  "Night."

"Night."  I had to content myself with a wave, and she disappeared into her building.  With a sigh, I turned and headed for home.  I thought about what Dot would say if she'd been watching me the last few millis, the last few cycles even.  She'd be shocked, I figured – then she'd get all calm and reasonable and I say I was too young, Lisa was too mature for me.  She'd tell me I'd understand when I was older.  Codeswap that.  I thought maybe Bob would sympathize with me, though…

It wasn't just that I loved Lisa – even though I absolutely did, I was sure of that as I could ever be.  I liked _myself_ better when I was with her, too.  Yeah, I wished I could act more cool and clever around her like Ray does with Mouse, and I knew she was more grown-up than I was.  But all that was OK – she was older than me, so of course she was more mature about some stuff.  I still liked being with her and thinking totally about another sprite instead of myself.  I liked how it made me understand Bob and Dot and Matrix and Andri better, how they felt when they were together.  And I liked the fact that Lisa liked _me_ – that she thought I was nice and brave and someone worth being with, and maybe even thought I was hot.  Me!

Lisa was still hanging over me like a halo like she usually did after I left her, so even though I should have realized something was wrong the nano I walked into my room I hardly noticed when Linux didn't say anything.  Maybe I even thought he was asleep, I dunno.  I actually went over to my desk and checked my organizer for messages and downloads, and even got my bathroom stuff together before I hesitated.

"Hey, Dude – you OK?"  He was facing the wall, still dressed and he wasn't under his covers, which would be weird if he was asleep.  When he didn't respond I walked a little closer and that's when I noticed he was breathing in hard, fast little pants and he was lying sort of curled up.  "Linux?"  I shook him by the shoulder.

"Leave me alone." He said in a raspy voice.

"Linux!  What's the matter?"

"Nothing."  I could barely hear him.

I sat on his bed, feeling myself start to get scared.  "You sick?"  He didn't reply.  I squeezed his shoulder and asked him again.

"No."

Then I noticed something funny on his face.  I looked closer, and he had a big bruise on his cheek, under his eye.  "Linux!  What in the net happened?"  He still wouldn't really answer me or look at me, so I tried to roll him over and he cried out.  That's when I saw the reason he was curled up was that he was grabbing his gut with both arms.  "Linux!  What happened?"

"N-nothing."  His face was pale and he was gritting his teeth.  "Go to b-bed."

I recognized that posture too deleted well.  I got down on my knees next to his bed.  "You got punched in the gut, didn't you?  And in the face!  What happened?"  A pretty clear idea was beginning to compile in my processor.

"Enzo…I…"

"C'mon – we gotta take you to the infirmary."

"No!  I c-can't…"

"Linux – c'mon!"  A whole stew of emotions were boiling up inside me, mostly anger and fear.  Linux had tears on his cheeks and I'll be honest, I wasn't too far away myself.  "You might be really hurt."

"No!"  He said it with much more force than anything else he'd said since I walked in.  "I'm not g-gonna be a snitch."

"Who did it?"  I dunno why I asked, since I knew deleted well who – I guess it just seemed like the natural thing to say.  Linux didn't answer me right away.  "Come on, Dude – I know it was Zip.  Did Calisto help him?"

"Yes." Linux whispered.  "He held m-me down – like that t-time with you in the rec room."

"Where'd it happen?"  I wiped my eyes with my sleeve.  I was so mad I could barely think at all.

"D-downstairs.  They ambushed me on the way in.  Dragged me into the b-bathroom…"

"Crash…  It's…  It's OK.  Just chill, take it easy – you're OK now.  Let's go to the infirmary-"

"No!  _You_ didn't when you g-got hit…  If I tell on them they might k-kill me or something!"

"Crash it all!" I growled.  I'd just about let myself think that Zip and Calisto were gonna leave me alone – that I'd survived the worst they had to offer.  Now, just when I was really settling in, starting to feel like I belonged, they were back.  And the gutless nulls didn't even have the balls to come after me – they beat up my roommate.  And I didn't know what to _say_ to Linux – he was right, going to the authorities might be the worst thing for him in the long run, just like it might've been for me.  But he was hurt, and I was scared.  "I…  I don't know…  Can you sit up?"

"I dunno." Linux moaned.

"Just try, OK?  I want to take a look at you."  I got my arms under his shoulders and slowly, slowly lifted him to a sitting position propped against his pillows.  He groaned in pain every step of the way, and I was panting myself.  "What…  Where did they hit you?  Do you remember?"

"Of course I remember!"

"Sorry!  I'm sorry.  Just tell me where, OK?"

He took a deep, unsteady breath.  "Calisto held me…  And Zip punched me in the b-belly.  And then they switched and…  Calisto hit me.  And then he punched me in the face and…I fell down and they k-kicked me a couple times."

"Oh, User!"  I took a close look at the bruise on his cheek, which was a deep reddish purple.  His eye was swollen halfway shut, and I tried to remember what little emergency training I'd picked up from Bob or Dot, even Mouse.  I figured what I wanted to see was if his cheekbone was broken, although I didn't have any real clue how to tell.  "Can you…  Can you see out of this eye?"

"Yeah." He rasped.  "It's OK except it's shut a little."

"Good."  He didn't seem to have any blood _in_ his eye, as far as I could tell – his white was white.  I felt around the bruise, gently as I could, but he still squealed.  "Sorry!  I just want to make sure it's not broken."

"B-Bastards."

"Yeah." I sighed.  "If he'd hit you a little higher, he could have really trashed your eye – I bet he did it on purpose, so they wouldn't hurt you so bad they'd get expelled.  I think it'll be OK, but I'm not really sure.  Maybe we should go-"

"No!"

"OK, OK…  It's kinda puffy, but I _guess_ it's just a bruise – I'm no medical program but your eye _seems_ OK.  What about your stomach?"

"Hurts like Hell." He grimaced.

"I bet."  I squeezed his hand in what I hoped was a reassuring way and lifted up his shirt.  "Mouse said you can really get messed up inside when you get punched here – you can get your stomach ruptured."

"Thanks a _l-lot_!"

"Sorry!  Oh, Crash…"  He had a fist-sized purple bruise on his belly, right above the navel, and I felt a little sick just looking at it.  I felt around it gently.  "Does it hurt?"

"Of course it hurts, Nullbrain." Linux panted.  

"Did you puke?"

"No…  Almost.  Ow!"

"I know, I know.  It really hurt when Mouse did that to my bruise, too.  I don't think it's any worse than mine was.  How many times did they hit you in the belly?"

"Once.  Then Calisto…  Hit me over here." He pointed to his ribcage.

"Shit." I whispered.  This bruise was bigger than the other one, and almost black.  I was really getting scared now.  "I hope he didn't bust a rib or something…  I'm going to feel around it, OK?  It's gonna hurt."

"OK." He nodded, eyes closed, and gritted his teeth.

"Nulls.  Stupid nulls." I gingerly prodded his side, just under and next to the bruise.  "Does this hurt a lot?"

"No...  Just a little bit."  I took a deep breath and softly pressed down on the bruise.  "Ooooh, Crash!"

"Sorry!" I panted.  "Sorry, sorry.  I'm trying to feel your ribs, see if they're broken…"

"Dude, stop!  They're not b-broken, OK?  But that really hurts!"

"OK." I smiled weakly.   "You said they kicked you, too?  Where?"

"My bitmap, mostly." He chuckled bitterly.

"Is it…  Is it OK?"

"Yeah.  Just sore."

"I'll take your word for that, if it's OK."  I didn't see anything that matched what I remembered from Bob's descriptions of broken bones or internal bleeding, but I was a long way from confident about it.  My processor was racing, trying to decide what I should do.  I heard a sniffle from beside me and wrapped my arm around Linux.  "I'm really sorry about this, Dude. I'm sorry…"

"It's not your fault.  Those guys are outputs."

"Yeah – but if it wasn't for me they wouldn't have beat you up."

"Not your fault."  He squeezed a tear out of each eye.  "I'll be OK."

"Yeah – you'll be fine."  I squeezed him and he fell over against me, snuffling.  "If those bruises are any bigger in the morning we're going to the infirmary, and that's that."

"OK."

"Crash it all…  I'm really sorry, Linux.  Did…  Did they say anything to you at all while they were doing it?"

"Not really." He whispered, eyes closed.  "They just smiled and kept hitting me.  When they left Zip said, "Say Hi to Enzo for us." and they just left me on the floor by the toilets."

"User!  I hate them!  I hate 'em!"  I wiped my eyes and pounded my fist into my hip and didn't even feel it.  I took a couple of deep breaths and squeezed Linux again. "We're buddies, Dude – we gotta stick together, like we promised.  I'm sorry I got you into this."

"You didn't.  Don't be stupid, OK?  It's not your fault."

"Yeah.  Not my fault."  I closed my eyes for a few nanos and listened to Linux' breathing, which seemed to be slowing down a little.  "You're gonna be OK, I promise.  You think you can sleep?"

"Yeah." He nodded.  "I think so."

"Good.  I'll be back in a few micros – don't worry."

Linux' eyes jerked open.  "Where are you going?"

"I told you – don't worry.  Try and go to sleep, OK?  You had a rough night."

"Enzo, don't-"

"Don't _worry_!"  I smiled and patted his shoulder.  "Those guys aren't gonna bother you anymore, OK?  I'll be back in a few nanos, and you better be asleep."

"But…"

"I'll be back.  'Boot into your night clothes and get under your blankets – you'll feel better.  Need any help?"

"No, I can manage." He grimaced.  "Don't do something stupid, OK?  This isn't your fault."

"I know.  Back in a flash memory."  I hated to leave him, but if we weren't going to the infirmary the best thing was for him to sleep anyway.  Or so I figured, being clueless and having to guess.  Besides – there was something I had to do and I had to do it soon, before I had a chance to think about it and chicken out.  

I hopped in the elevator and headed down towards the first floor.  I was trembling all over, partly from fear of what I was gonna do and fear that I was wrong about Linux not being seriously hurt, but mostly from anger at Zip and Calisto.  I was furious that anyone would be so utterly stupid and selfish, trying to trash someone's life just because they felt like it.  Viruses like Megabyte and Daemon really didn't have any choice about how they acted – they were evil, just by their very code.  But Zip and Calisto were sprites, they _did_ have a choice – and they were hurting me and Linux just because they wanted to.  At that nano I truly hated them, with every line of code in my body.

I knew that being half-blind with anger wasn't a good state of processor to be in, especially where I was going.  It cut against every bit of training and advice I'd ever gotten from Bob and even Matrix.  But I couldn't help it – there was a rage burning inside me and it was bigger than my power to control it.  My hand was shaking as I knocked on the door of room 115.

Rom answered, looking surprised to see me.  "Hey.  Enzo, right?"

"Yeah.  Is your brother here?"  I could already hear Quantum's heavy footsteps clomping towards the door, as Rom threw it open.

"Hey, Little Man.  You here for more I/O distillate already?  Not hooked, are you?" he winked.  

"No – not that."

"Lights out pretty soon – better step lively.  What's up?"

I took a big breath.  "Do you know Zip's room number?"

The smile left Quantum's face.  "What's going on?"

"I just need his room number, OK?  I need to have a talk with him."

"What's up, Kid?  I never took you for the stupid type.  What you want to talk to that guy for, after what he did to you?"

I hesitated, just for a nano.  Quantum was so formidable, so reassuring in his goofy, bombastic way – the temptation to spill my guts to him and beg him for help was overwhelming.  But I resisted.  Until I faced this down once and for all, _on my own_, I'd always have it hanging over me.  I'd always be a little boy.  Mouse or Quantum or Ray or whoever could only delay the inevitable.  And maybe Linux or someone else I cared about would pay the price for it.  _My_ price.  "I just need to talk to him, man-to-man.  Where's his room?"

"Think you'd be a man short, Shortstop – and I ain't talkin' about you." Quantum said with a lopsided smile.

I smiled back.  "Maybe.  But I still have to.  Do you know where he is?"

"Yeah." Quantum shrugged.  "He's in 128 – most of the second-hours are on the first floor.  You sure about this, Kid?"

"Yeah.  Pretty sure…"

"Your funeral.  Don't look over your shoulder, 'cause I won't be there."

"I know." I sighed.  "But thanks, though – I mean it."

"NP, Kid.  Good luck."  I gave Quantum a little open-palm wave and started off.  "Don't drop your left!" I heard him shout, just before his door slammed.

I stood and stared at the '128' on the door for a long time.  I was aware that it was getting late, that lights out was coming and if I got caught out of my room I'd be in trouble again.  I thought about how easy it would be to walk away, just head back up to my room and check on Linux and go to bed.  No one would ever know I'd stood outside this door, staring, and walked away.  Only me.

I took a deep breath and knocked with a quivering fist.  I let my anger come back into me, swallowing up my fear and making me stronger.  And braver.  And stupider.  By the time I heard the door opening I was clenching my fists and bouncing from foot to foot, I was so furious.  Zip looked a little surprised to see me, but not shocked.  "Hey – it's the little prince!  Looking for your Mommy? Oh, _that's_ right – she's deleted."

"You really are a worthless piece of shit, you know that?"  Anger and fear were fighting for control of me, and I was trying to juggle them as well as I could without letting either one take over.  It wasn't easy.

"Well – that's not a very nice thing to say." Zip grinned.  I saw Calisto's ugly face appear behind him.  "Someone should wash your mouth out with soap."

"Leave Linux alone." I said in a low voice. 

"What – did something happen to your boyfriend?" Calisto cackled.

"Just leave him alone.  If you outputs have some sort of stupid problem with me, deal with _me_."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Peachfuzz." Zip replied in a pleasant tone.  

"Yes you do."  I snarled.  "You gutless bastard.  D'you ever get tired of ganging up on kids half your size?"

"Watch your mouth."  He boxed my ear and I slapped his arm.

"What'd I ever do to you, anyway?"

"Just because you're in the Academy doesn't mean you're a Guardian, Little Prince.  All your powerful friends can't change the fact that you're a pathetic infant who doesn't belong here."

"I earned my way in here!"

"Shut up.  You're getting a mighty big head, Peachfuzz – someone needs to remind you what a useless waste of space you are.  Call it a service to the Academy."

I could feel the anger part of me rising, growing out of control, but I also knew it was just what Zip wanted.  "I don't give a null's ascii what you think.  But leave my friends alone!  You want me, you deal with me.  Or are you afraid?"

"You worthless-"

"No." Zip shut up Calisto, who'd taken a step towards me.  "We _can't_ deal with you, can we?  Not after you went crying to your friends in high places – they're watching you every nano, practically."

"I didn't go crying to anyone, Nullbrain.  Laser's smart  – he figured it out on his own."

"I bet.  How stupid do you think I am?" Zip laughed.

"No one could possibly be as stupid as I think you are, Zip.  I'm not a snitch – I didn't go to anyone for help and I was handling things just fine until you got your trained null to hold me down."

"You got a deletion wish, Infant?" the trained null sneered.

"What's the problem – you can't beat up a little kid half your size?  You need someone to hold him for you 'cause you're afraid to fight him man-to-man?"  Zip's hands balled up into fists and his jaw got tighter and tighter, and I could see I was pushing him closer to the breaking point, but I couldn't stop myself – I was filled with total contempt for him and even more for Calisto, if that were possible.  Part of me really wanted to have this out, right there and then.  "You're scared of me?

"I'm scared of nothing – least of all a puny soft-boy like you.  You'd love to get rid of me, wouldn't you?  But I'm not gonna make it easy.  You wanna play games, hide behind your friends – fine.  I can play games too."  With that he spit on me – for the second time – and slammed the door in my face.

"Zip!" I shouted, pounding on the door.  "You're afraid of me, delete it!  You hear me?  You're a coward!"  I pounded on the door a few more times, but there was no reply from inside.

By this time I was breathing hard, panting from anger and exertion and general frustration.  A couple of cadets had popped out of their rooms to see what all the fuss was about and not only that, I realized we were only a few doors down from Mr. Garamond's room.  Even as pissed off as I was, I knew that could be a bad thing.  Besides, I checked my internal clock and it was only a few millis till lights out.

"Coward!" I shouted, banging on Zip's door one last time.  "Leave my friends alone!"  I shot a dirty look at the guys staring at me, who looked vaguely amused, and headed for the elevator feeling frustrated and unsatisfied with the whole encounter.  I don't know what I wanted to happen exactly – not to get beat up, obviously, but _something_.  I knew this wasn't over, and I wanted it to be over.

When I got home I saw that Linux had obeyed orders – that was something, at least.  He'd crawled under his blanket and he was sleeping, even though he was breathing a little faster than normal.  I remembered Bob telling me that pain releases adrenaline in a sprite's body and makes everything run faster, including the lungs and heart and even the processor.  I felt a big stab of guilt looking at him and knowing he was in pain, and if it weren't for me he _wouldn't_ be.  Did that make it my fault?  I'm not sure, but it hit close enough to make me feel responsible.

It took me a long time to fall asleep – I just stared up at the ceiling in the dark with my hands behind my head, listening to Linux' breathing.  What was driving me offline was that I couldn't see any _end_ to this business with Zip and Calisto – Zip had made it clear as could be that he wasn't just gonna let it drop.  A war with a virus or a game was different – there were specific objectives you had to meet, and if you met them you won.  But what were my objectives now?  I wasn't gonna delete Zip, obviously, and I really couldn't go to the teachers or Laser about him.  I could see it stretching on and on for the rest of the hour, with Zip finding some new way to make me miserable every time I let my guard down.  It wasn't a happy thought, and it wouldn't let me relax.  It was a long night.


	20. Playing for Keeps

The next morning my head was fuzzy and I was still exhausted, but when I woke up my first thought was to check on Linux.  He was still asleep and he groaned and protested when I shook him, but he seemed better than he had the night before – less out of breath and afraid.  I sat next to him on the bed and took a long look at the bruise on his cheek.  "Did you sleep OK?"

"Yeah – I guess." He yawned.  "Sometimes I got a little stab in the middle of the night and it woke me up but I was so tired and sore I went right back to sleep."

"Well – that's good, I guess.  This bruise on your face is a beauty – but at least your eye's not closed.  How're you gonna explain it to people?"

"I'll tell 'em I tripped and fell down, or something.  No one'll care."

"The teachers might." I sighed.  "Why don't you tell 'em we were horsing around, practicing combat or something, and I did it by mistake?  Sounds more convincing."

"You just want people to think you're tough."

"Very funny.  Lemme see your stomach.  Does it hurt?"

"Course it hurts." Linux grumbled as he lifted his T-shirt.  "Where'd you go last night, anyway?"

"Never mind."

"Did you and Zip fight or something?  Owww!  Stop it!"

"Hold still!   I have to see if these bruises are any worse."  I gently prodded around Linux' belly and ribcage, deliberately ignoring his question.

"Well?  _Did_ you?"

"No.  I went to his room – I'm not even sure why.  I was just really mad, I guess I wanted to do _something.  _But he's a coward – he's afraid he'll get in trouble if he beats _me_ up."

"Crash!  That hurts…"

"I know.  At least you won't have to explain these – no one'll see 'em."

"Are they bad?"

I shrugged.  "I don't think they're any bigger than they were last night – maybe a little darker, but mine did that too.  I guess you're probably okay – we got lucky _this_ time."

"You…  You think they'll do it again?  What did he say?"

"I dunno, Dude.  I doubt he'll go after you again but he still hates my guts.  He's not gonna let this drop and he won't fight me.  I don't know _what's_ gonna happen."

"Crash…" he said softly.  "This really sucks – why do people have to be such outputs?"

"Wish I knew." I smiled.  "No one's ever given me a good explanation of that one.  I guess all we can do is try and stay out of their way as much as possible."

Linux scowled at that.  "This campus is a pretty small place."

"Yeah…  I know.  But that makes it tougher for them to do stuff without Laser finding out, too."

"I guess."

"C'mon." I sighed.  "As long as we're here he can't do anything _too_ bad – not without getting expelled.  Let's hit the showers or we'll have no time for breakfast."

I didn't really plan on telling Lisa about what happened – I figured it'd be easier that way, since she'd probably want us to go to Laser or Mouse about it.  That was the plan, anyhow.  I don't know why I bother to make plans – seems like things never follow them.  Dot's the one for plans in my family.  I might as well make stuff up as I go, 'cause that's what always ends up happening anyway so why waste time planning?

Lisa pretty much knew as soon as I sat down at lunch that something was wrong – I could tell by her face, which I was getting better at reading even though I still wasn't as good at it as she was with mine.  "Hey."

"Hey Cutie.  Did you ask Linux about the double-date?"

"Uh…"  Obviously I should have been ready for that question, but I'd totally forgotten about the double-date.  So I proceeded with my pathetic attempt to keep from telling Lisa everything.  "I forgot."

"You forgot?"  Lisa frowned and furrowed her brow at me, which instantly made be feel about 0.7.  "All right – what's up?"

"What do you mean?"

She sighed patiently.  "Something's the matter.  Maybe if you tell me I can help you with it."

"Nothing's the matter!" I protested, concentrating on my food.  "Mmmf.  Everything's fine, I just…mmmf…forgot is all."

"Oh, Enzo…  Don't you think this is silly?  You'll end up telling me anyway."

"But-"

"Just tell me.  Maybe I can help."

"Crash!" I scowled at her. "Just tell me one thing.  _How_ do you know?  Why is it so obvious the nano I walk into the room that something's wrong?"

Lisa smiled and stroked my hand under the table.  "You aren't good at hiding things, Enzo.  You show everything in your face, that's all."

"That's just _great_.  Thanks a lot!"

"Don't be mad!  I love that about you.  It's just because you feel so strongly about everything, that's why.  Besides – you look terrible, like you haven't slept a wink.  It's not hard to figure out something happened – you looked as happy as a virus in the supercomputer when you left me last night."

"Oh." 

"Now just tell me – maybe I can help, whatever it is."

"Thanks." I sighed.  "I don't think you'll be able to do anything, though."

"Won't know unless you try me, will you?"

"No – I guess not.  But you have to promise not to tell anyone else, OK?"

She frowned.  "Why?"

"Just promise, OK?  Or I won't tell you."

"All right, I promise.  Now tell me what's wrong, OK?"

"OK." I smiled.  "You're pixelacious, you know that?  But I still don't think you can help this time.  Linux got beat up by Zip and Calisto last night."

"What?  I can't believe-"

"Shhh!"

"Sorry."  She lowered her voice to a whisper.  "But what happened?  Why would they _do_ that?"  

I shrugged.  "To scare _me_, I guess.  I think they're afraid to beat me up after what happened last time, 'cause they think they'll get caught if they do.  So they went after Linux."

"Those nulls!  Is he all right?  Poor Linux!"

"Yeah, he's OK.  He got bruised up a little bit but I don't think they did any permanent damage."

"What did the nurse say?"

"Umm…  We didn't go to the nurse.  Linux didn't want anyone to know about it.  That's why you can't tell."

"What?  Enzo, that's stupid!"

"No it's not." I said softly.  "If he rats them out they might hurt him even worse the next time."

"Crashes!" Lisa scowled.  "It's all about acting tough, isn't it?  That's all boys care about, acting tough and looking tough.  Those outputs should be punished for what they did!  But _no_, you can't go for help-"

"That's not fair!  You don't know what happens when guys snitch, it's…  It can be bad.  Sometimes you just have to take care of stuff on your own.  When I went to Zip's room-"

"What?  You went to Zip's room?"

"Uh – yeah…"

"Why?  What in the net were you thinking?  Wanting to fight him, I suppose.  _That's_ smart…"

"No!  I just…  I don't know…"

"Oh, _that_ explains it.  How can I argue with that reasoning?"

"Stop it!  You're not being fair."  

"Enzo – you could get really badly hurt if you fight Zip again, don't you know that?"  She grabbed my hands.  "Forget about the fact that he's older and bigger and stronger than you – he's already proved he won't fight fair.  If he needs to get Calisto to help him hurt you, he will.  I don't want anything to happen to you!"

"I don't either!" I sighed helplessly.  "But I can't go running to Laser every time something happens – Zip would be right about me if I did that!  If I really belong here I should be able to take care of myself."

"Oh, Enzo…  Do you have any idea what it would do to me if something…  I mean – Enzo-"

"I know."  It was amazing knowing that someone like Lisa cared so much about _me _– it's not like she had to or anything.  I squeezed her hands tight.  "Look – I don't want to fight him.  I promise I won't look for trouble, OK?  I just want him to leave me alone."

Lisa stared sadly at me for a couple nanos.  "Just how do you plan to get him to do that?"

"I'm… not sure.  But I'll be careful.  He's just a bully, that's all.  He just wants to scare me and if he can't, maybe he'll get tired of me and pick on someone else."

"I hope so."  She didn't sound convinced and honestly, I wasn't either.  

"It'll be OK." I smiled.  "You're the most important thing to me, Lisa.  As long as we're together I don't care about Zip or anyone else."

"OK, Sweetie." She whispered.  "But promise me you won't pick a fight with him anyways.  Just promise me."

"I promise.  I won't pick a fight with Zip."

"Thank you."

"NP.  Everything will be OK, I promise.  You'll see."  She smiled, but she didn't look like she believed me.  I guess I couldn't blame her for being skeptical.

Linux was OK, more or less – he limped a little bit for the rest of that cycle, but the pain didn't get any worse and the bruises didn't get any bigger.  The hardest part was combat class, when Mouse got a good look at his face.  We tried to hurry out afterwards but she stopped us and asked what was up.  Linux and I looked at each other and then down at our feet and didn't say anything for a couple of nanos, than he muttered something about an "accident".

"What sorta accident, Sugar?  That's some bruise!"

"Uh…" Linux offered.

"Um." I added.

"C'mon, you two – what's up?  Spill the java beans."

"Well – it's sorta embarrassing." I sighed.

"Yeah." Linux nodded.

"See, we were practicing some of the self-defense stuff you're teaching us – the martial-arts stuff – and I pretended to kick Linux in the face just to see how he'd react, you know, except I accidentally didn't pretend and really kicked him."

"Yeah." He added, shooting me a dirty look. "I shoulda been able to defend it, but I was too slow.  It's embarrassing."

"And I shoulda been more careful.  I thought I had better control.  Sorry, Mouse."

"Uh-huh.  I see.  Boy, you must be practicin' hard with those moves, Enzo – that was a helluva blow you landed." 

"I know.  I feel really bad about it.  I'll be more careful next time, honest."

"That's the last free one he gets." Linux scowled.  I have to admit, he was pretty good once he got into the story.

Mouse looked hesitant – she didn't quite believe us, I don't think, but the story sounded almost reasonable and Linux' acting had her nearly convinced.  "You boys be careful in the future – this stuff can be deadly if ya use it wrong.  It has to be."

"We know, Mouse."

"We will be.  We're sorry."

"All right then, Boys.  You do that."  We smiled and nodded and started for the door.  "Oh, and Boys?  I'll be watchin' real careful to make sure there's no more 'accidents', you got me?"

"Yes Ma'am."

"Yes Ma'am." 

"What'd I tell you about that "Ma'am" stuff, huh?"

"Sorry!"  I know one thing – it's not easy to slip anything past Mouse.  She already had so many reasons to watch me I'm not sure how she found time for anything else.

After that a few cycles went by without anything much happening.  I mean, lots of stuff _did_ happen, but it was mostly normal stuff – classes and homework and lunch with Lisa and a few quick kissing sessions after school.  It was scraggy knowing that Zip was out there, and he was still gunning for me – and not having any idea when he'd take his next shot.  But you can't worry about stuff _all_ the time – or at least I can't.  Life goes on and I got caught up in it and just tried to do my best and be prepared for whatever happened.

Linux got better – after a couple cycles he wasn't even limping any more.  You could still see the bruise on his cheek, but the swelling went down and he could open his eye all the way.  Neither one of us forgot about what had happened, though, and some part of me still felt that Linux had taken those punches for _me,_ and felt bad about it.

When you look back at the important nanos in your life, the right thing to do always seems obvious.  Problem is, it's almost _never_ obvious when those nanos are actually happening.  It's a trick – once you know something you can't make yourself _un-know_ it, so it's impossible to look at the same event later on and truly look at it like you did when it was happening.  You _know_ about it now, and that changes the sprite you are forever.  The simple fact that something happened changes the way you look at it later.

I guess the reason I say that is 'cause I don't want to look like I was stupid about what happened next, because I really don't think I _was_.  Sure, knowing what I know now it _looks_ like I was, but I can't honestly say I'd ever have done things differently in the same situation.  From the nano I got home from dinner with Lisa and saw the look on Linux' face I just reacted the best I could under the circumstances.

"What?"  I could tell something was up right away from the way his eyes focused in on me the nano I walked in and never left me, all the way to my bed.

"Did you see it?" He asked grimly.

"What?"

"If you have to ask, I guess you didn't." he sighed.  "They downloaded next minute's game roster."

"So?"  My batting average was about .250 getting into games so far – it was always disappointing to be on the roster and not get a game cube but I knew with this many cadets, the odds of being lucky weren't that great.  "Did I get a lousy slot – middle of the night or something?"   There were hardly ever any games then.

"Just look at it."

I frowned and picked up my organizer.  Like always, the new game roster was in the "Incoming Messages – Administration" folder.  I opened it up and scanned for my name.  My first reaction was relief – I had a slot at 2700, around dinnertime.  Then I saw the other names that were listed next to mine.  "Cursors and crashes…"

"Sucks, huh?"

There they were, right on the screen – 

Zip Calisto 

_Matrix_

_Jobs_

_Instructor – Garamond._

I could hardly believe what I was seeing.  "Dude – this is _not _good." 

"What're you gonna do about it?"

I jerked my eyes away from the screen to stare at Linux.  "Do about it?"

"Yeah!  I mean- Well…"

"What _can_ I do about it?  It's the official roster!  It's not like I have any choice, is it?  Man, this bytes…"

Linux shuffled over and sat next to me.  "I know, Dude, but – come on!  Zip _and_ Calisto in a game with you?"

"And Lisa, too." I whispered.

"Enzo – I don't think that could be a coincidence, could it?  I mean, the four of you?"

"I dunno, Man."  The more I thought about this prospect, the more scraggy it sounded.  And it _was_ undeniably weird, there was no question about that.  "I guess it _could_ be a coincidence."

"No way."

I stared down at the names again, like I was hoping if I stared at them long enough they'd change.  "D'you think maybe they're testing me or something?  Could that be it?"

"I dunno.  Could be." Linux shrugged.  "So what're you gonna do?"

"Just…  Just try and get through it the best I can, I guess.  Mr. Garamond will be there, at least."

"Yeah."  He didn't sound very reassured.  "Maybe you should talk to somebody about it, Enzo.  Maybe they can change it or something…"

"I can't do that!  We're supposed to be working together, remember?  If I don't like a game assignment I go and ask them to change it?"

"I know, but this isn't right. Not after what those guys did to you."

"And you, too." I said softly.  I definitely did _not _like the idea of going anywhere with Zip and Calisto, much less into a game – and I liked the idea of Lisa being along with us even less.  But how could I whine to Laser about it?  Maybe they were testing me, or maybe it was a coincidence – either way, if I asked out of it I'd be asking for special treatment.  And proving Zip was right about me.  

"Enzo?  You OK?"  I realized I'd been sitting silently for quite a while.

"I can't, Dude.  I can't complain about it.  I can't ask them to treat me different than everyone else, I just can't.  I'll just have to make the best of it."

"Maybe you'll get lucky, and there won't be a game."

"Maybe.  Never thought I'd be sayin' _that_."

"Be careful, OK?  If you have to go into a game with those guys-"

"Yeah.  I will."  I smiled at him.  "Thanks.  It's no big file – if there's a game we'll win it and come home, and Zip and Calisto will still be jerks.  No biggie."

"Yeah." Linux smiled weakly.  "No big file."

Lisa had seen the game roster too – I could tell right away at lunch the next cycle. Of course I would've liked to have talked to her about it as soon as I'd found out, but that wasn't an option – the inside of the girls' dorm was strictly forbidden territory, and I had no way to call her.   So I had to wait and I wasn't sure if she'd know, but it was obvious - she looked totally depressed when she got to our table.  "Oh, Enzo-"

"You saw it huh?"

"Of course I did.  Isn't it awful?"

I shrugged, trying to look casual.  "I'm not gonna worry about it if you aren't.  We'll be fine – I can take care of myself in any game."

Lisa smiled sadly.  "I'm not really the one who should be worrying, am I?  The two of them have never bothered _me_-"

"If they try and hurt you, I'll delete them.  In a nano."

"Oh, Enzo-"

"I mean it." I scowled.  The thought that those two nulls would try to hurt me by hurting Lisa had crossed my mind already – I'd given it quite a bit of thought since Linux' "accident".  "If they even look at you wrong, they're toast."

"Thank you." She sighed.  "But I don't think they will, Cutie.  You're the one I'm worried about."

"Don't worry about me.  Like I said, I can take care of myself in any game.  And Mr. Garamond will be there."

"I suppose."  She absently took a bite of her salad.  "Why do you think this happened, Enzo?  Have you thought about it?"

"Yeah." I said softly.  "I dunno why.  I guess it doesn't matter – we just have to deal with it."

"Well, I don't like it.  But I'm proud of how brave you are."

"No.  I'm not." I sighed.  "I'm scared.  But what can I do, really?  We have to take all kinds of tests to graduate here, right?  Maybe this is just another test."

"You _are_ brave." Lisa smiled.  She squeezed my arm softly.  "You're always brave – you always do what you have to do.  If there were a whole army of Guardians like you Daemon wouldn't stand a chance."

"Lisa! Stop it…"  I could tell I was blushing but I couldn't help smiling, too.  It meant a lot to hear that from Lisa, - even though I'd only known her a few minutes, it felt like my whole life.  "I'm just a little kid."

"That makes you even braver."  Then she leaned across the table and kissed me on the forehead, right in front of everybody.  "I don't even care if anyone saw that.  I'm proud of you."

"Thanks." I grinned.  When Lisa did stuff like that it made me feel like I could take Daemon on myself, never mind Zip.  "You should meet my family sometime - _they're_ the brave ones.  Matrix and Dot and Bob – I'm nothing compared to them."

"I'm sure they're wonderful sprites, but you're amazing compared to _anybody_, Enzo."

"I… I guess!  Thanks…"

"Maybe I'll get to meet them sometime.  I hope so."

"I know you will!"  I grabbed her hands.  "Bob and Dot are coming to the Academy next semester, for six minutes.  Bob's gonna teach.  And you can come to Mainframe, too – to visit.  It'll be alphanumeric!"

"Maybe." Lisa smiled.  "We'll see."

"Not maybe – definitely."  I hadn't allowed myself to think much about Lisa in Mainframe, even for a visit.  Or explaining her to Dot.  But talking about it made me think about that, and about what would happen after we finished at the Academy.  My future seemed like a much more real prospect now, not some far-off, far-fetched adulthood that was out of my processor's reach.  And Lisa was a big part of that future – in fact, I couldn't even imagine it without her anymore.  The thought of anyone interfering with that scared me silly and filled me with incredible anger at the same time.  I'd do whatever I had to do to protect her – to protect _us_.  Whatever I had to do.

I tried hard to put the games roster out of my mind as the minute dragged on, especially when I was with Lisa.  As long as I was busy, I was OK – I could wrap my processor around a calculus problem or a game sprite chart or 3-D pinball and I'd be OK.  It was the quiet times that were bad – when I was by myself my mind would wander to places I'd rather it didn't go.

I had a kind of lurking queasiness in my belly the whole minute that came out whenever those alone times happened.  There was a feeling of wrongness to what was going on that scared me – and I felt helpless to do anything about it.  After a lifetime of relying on other people to protect me when I was in danger and comfort me when I was upset, I was finally facing a situation where I couldn't turn to _anyone_ for help – and that might have been the whole point, if I was right about Laser testing me.  I _couldn't_ ask for help – the mere act of doing it would mean I'd failed.  But the queasiness and foreboding got worse and worse and that nano drew closer and closer, so bad that I almost _did_ go to Mouse the night before, just to talk about it.  But I resisted.

I wasn't about to talk to Lisa about what was going to happen – above anything else I wanted her not to be scared, not share the fear and worry I was feeling.  After our lunch I did my best to make her think I wasn't worried at all, and even though I'm as sure as I can possibly be that she knew it was an act, she played along – she was like that.  She seemed to have an amazing ability to know what I needed to feel OK, and she did her best to keep me distracted.  Just being around her cast a kind of glow over me and made me feel better, but as soon as we were apart I'd get terrified about what was going to happen.  The possibility that she might be in danger was what terrified me – that she'd be in danger and I wouldn't be able to do anything about it.  And I'd do anything to protect her – I knew that.   That resolve grew stronger every cycle until it crowded almost everything else out of my processor.

The only sprite I could really talk about stuff with was Linux, because he knew how worried I was.  We both knew first-hand what outputs Zip and Calisto were.  But Linux couldn't really _do_ anything about what was going to happen, so mostly we tried to keep each other distracted by playing games or talking about stupid stuff.  His bruises disappeared and he felt better and he started to spend some time with Patch, even though neither one of us mentioned the double-date idea – I think we both knew it wasn't the right time for it.  Linux was still incredibly shy about Patch, even more than I was about Lisa – he'd get all blushy and flustered every time I'd ask, and that made me smile, at least.  I think things were OK, though – they had lunch together every day and if things _weren't_ going OK, why would he blush?

Mostly it was just nice to have Linux around, because I didn't like being alone right then and besides, he understood what was happening in my processor.  That's what it's like having a real friend – they're just _there_, and that's enough.  They don't even really have to _do_ anything – just be there and understand.  I was beginning to realize that's what I'd been missing growing up in Mainframe all by myself.  Bob and Dot and Matrix and Andri were incredible sprites and I loved them, but they had their own lives and no matter what happened, we could never be equal – not ever.  I'd always be a little brother or a 'younger self' or "Little Sparky" or even a son – kinda – but never _just_ a friend, not really.   And Linux was, now – that's what I'd finally figured out.  And User, was I glad to have him around.

One thing I'd noticed around Gallifrey was that once a game cube dropped it was pretty unusual for a second one to come down the same cycle.  Mainframe is the same way – not that it _never_ happens, just not very often.  So from the time I woke up on the cycle we were game-rostered I kept hoping in the back of my processor that a game cube would drop early.  I wasn't really proud of it – I didn't like being scared, especially of a couple of bullies.  But I couldn't help it – I _was_ scared, and I did want to hear that voice all cycle long.  That feeling of wrongness was stronger than ever.

So a sense of anticipation was kinda hanging over me all cycle, and it made me nervous and jumpy.  My teachers could see it, Lisa could see it at lunch, Linux could see it after class.  As the millis went by and no game cube came, I got a sicker and sicker feeling in my stomach.  Sometimes a whole cycle or even two or three would go by without a game but again, not very often – most cycles we got one - so as it got later in the cycle I liked my odds less and less.

Our last class let out at twenty-six fifty and Linux asked me if I wanted to go to the rec room and watch a quicktime or something, and I said sure.  It didn't much matter what we were doing, I just didn't feel like being by myself.  Linux popped in some comedy or another and I sat next to him, but I couldn't tell you what movie it was – I was thinking about Lisa.

The whole _idea_ of Zip and Calisto began to seem very small and trivial in my head.  I thought about what the two of them had done to me – embarrassed me publicly and punched me – and in a way it made me feel silly, being so worried.  They were pathetic – Mainframe had faced down Megabyte and almost crashed, the net was still dealing with Daemon.  What were those two compared to that?  Zip was a bully, totally obsessed with pushing people around – and Calisto was even worse, he was dumb as a 5.25 disk and did whatever Zip told him.  If Zip was pathetic, how pathetic did you have to be to be Zip's _slave_?  They'd tried in their stupid way to hurt me and they definitely had, but crash, if I couldn't deal with childish bullying I wouldn't be much of a Guardian.

What made me realize all this was thinking about Lisa.  Thinking about her made me realize how huge the net was, how amazingly incredible things could happen without you even trying to find them.  Zip could never _touch_ what me and Lisa had – never.  He was tiny, and we were as big as my imagination.  Just meeting her had turned me into a totally different person who could feel things and dream things he didn't even know were possible.  If they tried to hurt me again, fine.  Maybe they would and maybe they wouldn't, but they wouldn't hurt _her_.  I'd make deleted sure of that, and as long as they didn't hurt her I could deal with anything else.

I felt someone shaking my arm and realized I'd been so far away I didn't even know how long I'd been sitting in the rec room.  I looked over and Linux was staring at me, smiling a little.  "You OK?"

"Yeah…  I was just thinking, sorry.  What did you say?"

"I said, it's after twenty-seven."

I checked my internal clock.  "Yeah – guess so."

"Maybe you'll get lucky."

"Maybe." I smiled.  "I'd feel better if there'd already been a game today, though.  How's the movie?"

"I didn't _think_ you were paying any attention!  It's OK, I guess.  You wanna go get some dinner?"

"Sure.  If you want."  It didn't make much difference to me where we were.  Whatever he wanted, I'd go along.

"Might as well – this isn't all that funny, anyways."  He shut of the quicktime and I sort of numbly followed along behind him as he headed for the mess hall.  My queasiness had gone and I was feeling a weird emptiness, almost not caring what happened now.  Whatever did happen, I just wanted it over.

Linux got a heaping plate of food and I got something small, like a sandwich or soup or something, I don't even remember.  I don't think I ate much of it and I remember neither one of us talking at all while we were sitting at the table, me staring at my food and Linux slowly eating his.  It got to twenty-seven thirty, then fifty, but it wasn't twenty-eight yet.  Maybe it never would be.

Linux had just opened his mouth to say something for the first time in what felt like hours.  "Looks like you're gonna-"

"WARNING – INCOMING GAME. 

WARNING – INCOMING GAME."

"Low-density!"

I remember I closed my eyes and just sat there, and it's basic but what I was thinking was how different the game lady sounded here than the one in Mainframe.  Then I let out a deep breath that I'd been holding in my chest.  "Crash.  Crash, crash, crash it all."

I felt Linux'hand on my shoulder.  "Good luck, Dude.  Just win the game and don't let those sphincters get to you, OK?  You're better than they are."

"Uh-huh." I whispered.  I sat there for a nano, just thinking about how scraggy it was that after all that waiting and all that worrying it was actually happening.  Then I thought of Lisa and I shot to my feet.  Suddenly the idea of her being with those two nulls for even one _nano_ without me there was too horrible to think about.  I didn't even wait till I was outside to pop my zip – I opened it right in the mess hall and weaved through the cadets, towards the door.

"Good luck!" Linux shouted.

I didn't even turn.  I zipped out of the mess and down the corridor and outside, into the fresh air.  I scanned the sky and found the cube, slowly coming down over the hillside behind the boys' dorm.  I raced towards it, calculating the distances in my head like I always do, and realized I'd be there in plenty of time.

Once I was settled under the game cube I took a deep breath and scanned the horizon for the others, feeling my stomach start to churn itself up again at the sight of two sprites zipping towards me from the direction of the great hall.  Another lone figure from off to their left was coming towards me, too, and I could see a flash of gold in the fading light.  It seemed weird that I didn't see Mr. Garamond – since he was the House Master I'd expected him to come from the boys' dorm, just like I had.

Zip and Calisto reached me first, and circled me on their zip boards.  Calisto had a sneering grin on his face, but Zip's was totally calm.  I returned his stare, saying nothing and watching for the others out of the corner of my eye.

"Well – if it isn't the little prince." Zip finally smiled.  "I was worried we weren't gonna have a chance to party."

"Whatever.  Let's just get this over with."

"Are you ready to have fun, Enzo?" Calisto giggled.  I glared at him, frowning, and he kept on giggling like an idiot.  

"Enzo!"

"And the little princess too." Zip said softly.  "What a nice coincidence."

"Shut up." I growled.

Lisa shot the pair of them a dirty look and slowed to a hover next to me.  She grabbed my hand and I closed my eyes, concentrating on reassuring coolness of it, trying to fight the gnawing terror I'd felt in the showers, surrounded by the pack of hyenas.  Seeing Zip's cold sneer and hearing Calisto's cackling made me feel like a naked little boy again, and I didn't like it one byte.  

"Relax." She whispered.  "We'll be just fine."

"You look lovely in that uniform, Lisa." Zip purred.  "Good enough to eat."

"Shut up!" I growled again.  Hearing him talk that way hurt as much as his punch to my belly.  "Don't talk to her!"

"We'll do anything we _want_ to her, Infant!" Calisto spat in his shrill voice.  "Who's gonna stop us – you?"

"I know what you did to Linux." Lisa said calmly.  "The two of you are really pathetic, you know that?"

"Linux?  Do I know him?" Zip smiled.  "Oh look – the game's almost here, we'd better get ready.  I wonder where Mr. Garamond could be."

There was something in his voice I liked even less than usual – that and the grin on Calisto's ugly face.  I scanned the horizon and still saw no sign of Mr. Garamond.  I met Lisa's eyes and she shrugged helplessly.  "Lisa!  What-"  Then the cube was on us, and I never finished the thought.


	21. Childhood's End

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  
  
Please note the change in rating and bear it in mind as you continue reading this fic. The following chapter contains scenes of a violent nature and strong language, and some readers may be offended. Rest assured that no graphic or gratuitous images have been used; however, the subject matter is difficult and these scenes were necessary for the development of the story.  
  
  
  
  
  
I felt the familiar sizzling and crackling of energy as the game cube washed over us. My processor was numb as the reality of the situation slowly dawned on me. Mr. Garamond wasn't here. Lisa and I were trapped in a game with Zip and Calisto. How was it possible – where was he?  
  
"Looks like it's just us." Zip said. His voice was soft and calm, but there was a hint of something underneath it, lurking.  
  
"Crash! Where in the net is Mr. Garamond? He's supposed to be here!"  
  
"Don't worry Enzo – we'll take care of you." Whatever was hiding in his voice was coming closer to the surface, now.  
  
"Yeah – if your diaper needs changing or something." Calisto grinned.  
  
"Grow up!" Lisa spat. "You're the ones who act like you're in diapers! You're pathetic."  
  
A hint of anger flashed in Zip's eyes, but his voice stayed low. "You sure like to talk, seeing as you're just a first-hour bitch."  
  
"Hey! Don't you call her that!" I was getting so angry that I had no chance whatsoever to control it.  
  
"It's all right." Lisa whispered in my ear.  
  
"I think Enzo's getting cranky – maybe he needs a nap." Zip chuckled.  
  
"He's scared." Calisto tittered. "Scared of the big, bad game."  
  
"Well, don't worry – if things get too scary we can sing a song for you, like Guardian Bob."  
  
My stomach lurched. Violently. "What?"  
  
Zip smiled coldly at me for a nano and I felt like all the air had been sucked out of my lungs. The he looked around. "Guess we better figure out what's going on with the game, shouldn't we? Wouldn't want to be nullified or trapped in here."  
  
"I don't recognize this one."  
  
"Me neither. But maybe Enzo does – he is the great game legend, after all. Tell us, Enzo – save us all, Hero." I couldn't take my eyes away from Zip – it was like I was paralyzed. I felt Lisa's hand on my elbow, squeezing softly, reassuringly. "Well, Little Prince? I thought you'd been in hundreds of games with your Guardian friends!"  
  
I swallowed a knot in my throat that felt like a jetball, and looked around. We were surrounded by walls of green – plants, alive. Like vines. They were all around us, twisting and turning at odd angles. I looked at them for a nano and realized they truly were alive – they were shifting and slithering slowly on themselves. A kernel of flash memory hit me and I looked up at the sky. We were outside – it was filled with stars, and a crescent moon hung midway between the horizon to my right and the sky directly above us. "Labyrinth."  
  
"What?" Lisa whispered.  
  
"Yes – what is it? Do share, Prince Enzo. You've played this before?"  
  
"Yeah." I rasped, my mouth so dry my voice was barely audible. "Labyrinth of Knossos. A maze game."  
  
"What's the point? What do we do?" Calisto asked.  
  
"Um… The User has to collect objects. Items, treasures, whatever. Once he has all of them he has to find his way to the center of the labyrinth before the moon sets, or the gates of the underworld open up and the dead cross the River Styx and reclaim the Earth."  
  
"But what do we do?"  
  
I stared at Calisto, amazed. What a null. "Stop him, Idiot."  
  
"So all we have to do is keep the User from collecting these treasures and finding the center of the labyrinth before the moon sets and we win? Run out the clock?" Zip asked.  
  
"Basically – yeah. That or kill him. I mean, there's more to it-"  
  
"Perfect." He smiled. "That should be just perfect."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
He shot that same smile at me again, the one that sucked all the air out of me. It was cold, frighteningly calm. Almost like I'd seen it before, on a different face…  
  
"What's the matter?" Lisa whispered. I barely heard her.  
  
"Shouldn't we reboot?" Calisto's voice shattered the spell I was under, and Zip turned to him.  
  
"Why not? Let's see what we're dealing with." He brought a hand to his chest and tapped his icon, and Calisto mimicked him. "Reboot!"  
  
"Crash!" I whispered. Calisto had rebooted as a tall, bearded sprite in a long, jeweled tunic and a bronze breastplate. He held what appeared to be a large, golden doll in his arms. It was Zip whose appearance was shocking, though – he still had the body of man – admittedly a huge, muscular one – but his head was that of a bull, covered with black fur and crowned by two pointed white horns. He carried a bulky silver mace. He looked terrifying.  
  
"Very nice." Zip said. His voice was a low, deep rumble that seemed to rattle my insides and it was as scary as his appearance. "Very nice. And you look like a king of some sort." He turned cold, red eyes on Lisa and me. "Why haven't you rebooted?"  
  
I tore my eyes away from him – with difficulty – and looked at Lisa. My insides were a panic, racing from one terror to another. But she had no idea about the worst of them – she only knew we were stuck in a game with two dangerous nullheads, and that was bad enough. She smiled and reached for her icon. "Let's do it."  
  
"Reboot!" Lisa was now clad in a long, sky blue tunic that descended to her sandal-clad feet – her hair was dark, deep brown with a hint of red, totally different from her normal golden locks but still incredibly beautiful. And the hair was crowned with a small tiara ringed with blue and red stones that shimmered in the moonlight. She was so breathtaking that I forget everything else, just for a nano, until her voice snapped me out of it. "You look nice, Enzo. Very mature."  
  
"Oh!" I looked down and saw that I was covered with a light brown tunic that looked very plain compared to Lisa and Calisto's fancy clothes, but it was still finer than the ragged, blood-stained toga Zip had on. There were sandals on my feet and I knew my hair was longer, because I felt it resting on my shoulders. Two things stood out, though – the unfamiliar scratchy feeling of a beard and mustache – which sent a little thrill through me – and a pressing weight on my back. Another flash memory exploded and I didn't even have to look and see what the weight was. "Thanks. You, uh… You look incredible."  
  
"Who are we supposed to be, anyways?" Calisto's shrill voice ruined the nano or I could have been staring at Lisa all cycle.  
  
I sighed. "You're Midas – a king."  
  
"King? Cool!"  
  
"Just shut up, all right?" He glared at me, but kept quiet. I heard a low chuckle from Zip. "You're cursed. Everything you touch turns to gold, including game sprites and Users. We're immune from it." I turned and stared at Zip, trying to keep my revulsion down. "You're a minotaur – half- man, half-beast. I think it's called a 'bull'. This maze was built to keep you in."  
  
"What about you two?" Zip rumbled. I swear, when he talked the ground shook a little.  
  
"Lisa is a princess. A- Ar…" I thought for a nano, eyes closed. "Ariadne! Princess Ariadne. And it looks like I'm Daedalus. That's an improvement, last time I was Icarus…"  
  
"What's so special about you?" Calisto sneered.  
  
"I'm a scientist. I built this place. And I built these wings to fly out and escape it, after I was imprisoned in here."  
  
"You can fly?"  
  
"Yeah. I guess. And I have the power to change the maze with my head. You know, just by thinking about it." Bob had been Daedalus the last time, and Matrix was the minotaur. Boy, Matrix hated that, but it made me laugh! I remembered Bob telling me about changing the maze, and I sent my mind out, just to test it. It was a very weird feeling – I could sense the others there, even with my eyes closed – they were like warm bursts of color in my mind. I could picture the maze in my head, too – it was like I was floating above it, looking down. With a grunt of exertion I moved a couple of walls around in there.  
  
"Hey! It changed!" Lisa's voice. "Enzo, that's so cool!"  
  
"Yeah." I smiled. "It should help us out. Remember I said the User has to collect stuff? He needs something from each of us – but he has to find us first. From me it's one of my wings. Lisa's tiara. One of Zip's horns."  
  
"What about me?"  
  
"That!" I pointed at the object in Calisto's arms.  
  
"This? A stupid doll?"  
  
"It's your daughter. You touched her and she turned to gold."  
  
"Cool!"  
  
"No – it's not cool! You… Never mind." He was hopeless. "That's basically it. The User will come looking for us, and trying to get this stuff. He's a great warrior, Theseus. And he's smart, too. But he has to do it all before we kill him or the moon sets. We should probably split up, so it's harder for him to get all the objects he needs." As soon as I said that it sounded wrong, though – there was no way I wanted Lisa to be on her own in this place. Not with a User and these two psychos roaming around.  
  
"I don't think so." Zip rumbled thoughtfully. "I think we'll stay together."  
  
I was secretly relieved – like I said, I didn't want to leave Lisa's side. But I didn't like the idea of Zip being in charge, and I hated the idea of giving in to him without a fight. "What about the User? If we're all together, he only has to find us one time! If he defeats all of us he'll win the game."  
  
"I'm not concerned about the User, Little Prince. Not yet, anyways. And I wouldn't be either, if I were you. Either of you. You've got much more serious problems."  
  
"What're you talking about?" Lisa spat defiantly. I felt that jetball in my throat again. Something was very, very wrong.  
  
Zip took a couple of steps towards us. "I don't have to answer to you now, Bitch – you or your little boyfriend. There are no prying eyes in here, are there?" Before I could react, he reached a muscular arm out and fondled the front of Lisa's tunic. You can guess where – I don't want to say.  
  
"Hey!" she squealed. "Stop!"  
  
Her voice broke me out of my trance and I flew at him, fists raised. Before I got to him Calisto grabbed my by the collar and yanked me back. "You bastard! Touch her again and I'll kill you!" The rage I felt inside put any other I'd ever felt to shame – I really would have killed him if I could've. It made me understand Matrix a lot more, just for that split nano.  
  
Zip laughed softly. "I'm gonna do a lot more than touch her, Peachfuzz – and so is the King, here. And there's not a deleted thing you can do about it." His bull head broke into a hideous smile. "This body is fully functional."  
  
"You're basic, Zip." Lisa was smiling bravely, but her voice was shaky and so was she. "You're totally losing it! I'd never let a pig like you near me."  
  
"Me? Lose it? I think you've got things backwards, Princess."  
  
"This isn't funny, Zip." I panted. I struggled weakly against Calisto, but his sim was a lot stronger than mine – naturally, I would reboot as a scientist when I needed warrior strength! "This is going too far, this is crazy! If you do anything to Lisa I'll tell Laser the nano we get out of here!"  
  
"Shut up!" Calisto slapped me hard on the back of the head.  
  
"Let him talk – it makes me laugh." Zip was still smiling grotesquely. "Besides – he won't be doing any talking once we get back home anyway."  
  
"You piece of shit." Lisa snarled. "If you touch me again-"  
  
"Enough." He slapped her on the face, not hard enough to injure her but hard enough to catch her attention. I watched a red handprint bloom on her cheek with a growing sense of doom. Lisa just looked stunned. "I've been waiting to put you in your place for a long time, Enzo. You arrogant little prick. There's no one here to save you now, is there? Where's Quantum now? Or Mouse, or Bob or even Mr. Garamond? I don't see any of them, do you? I didn't think so. No, it's just us – and I'm going to show you just how worthless you are, Little Prince, and I'm gonna enjoy every nano of it. And the thing I'm gonna love most of all is the expression on your face when I-"  
  
"No!" I screamed. "No, no, no! Shut up! I'll delete you, I swear to the User I'll delete you!"  
  
Zip laughed. "Bring him closer." Calisto roughly shoved me towards Zip and he reared back and punched me, not with his full power but a solid shot right above my belly button. I coughed and went to my knees, seeing stars.  
  
"Enzo! Enzo, are you all right?" I could feel Lisa's cool hands on my face but I couldn't open my eyes to see her yet.  
  
"I'd enjoy hurting you a lot worse, Peachfuzz. Maybe I will later. But I want you nice and alert for everything that's gonna happen now."  
  
"You're completely basic, you know that?" Lisa said softly. She was still holding my face in her hands. "You're nuts."  
  
"I'll… tell." I rasped. "I…swear I'll… tell, Zip. You can't… do this!"  
  
"No you won't. And you wanna know why? 'Cause if you do, I'm gonna tell everyone your girlfriend's little secret and you'll be waving bye-bye to her forever, because she'll be out of the Academy on her ascii."  
  
Zip's words snapped me back to my senses like a bucket of cold data splashed on my face. My eyes shot open and I looked up at him. "What?"  
  
"What secret?" Lisa whispered.  
  
"What secret, Princess?" Zip ran a hand over her cheek and she shuddered. "Why, the little story about your family tree, that's all. I know all about it and I'll just bet Laser would be very interested, too."  
  
"What? No!" Lisa's eyes darted towards me.  
  
"No! You… You can't!"  
  
"You're wrong again, Little Man. I can and I will. I know all about it, thanks to you."  
  
"No!" I wailed. "You can't know!"  
  
"Enzo?"  
  
I couldn't bring myself to look at her face – I knew what I'd see there and I didn't want to see it, ever. "I didn't tell anyone Lisa. I swear I didn't! I swear…"  
  
"Your little journal made very interesting reading, Enzo. What was it – "We held our lips together for one breath, and then two, and the air from her nose was warm on my face and my hand was on Lisa's neck and hers was still on my cheek. I can't even describe what her lips were like, but I'll try – they were like everything I'd ever imagined a girl's lips were only a thousand times better. They were warm, and they tasted sweet, and they curved to meet the shape of mine and mine did the same for hers and it was absolutely amazing and I don't think anything in my life will ever measure up to that first real kiss."  
  
I just stared at him, speechless for a nano, two. This was worse than the punch in the gut, way worse. "What… I- How…"  
  
"It's like poetry, really." Zip rumbled in his earth-shaking drone. "Young love is such a beautiful thing. Shall I tell Lisa about your "grown-up" dream, too?"  
  
"No!" I groaned. I still couldn't look at Lisa, I'd never be able to look at her again. "How can you know? You can't know! You can't, you can't…"  
  
"I've taken a special interest in you, Little Boy. I take a special interest in Mouse's class, too – the advanced class, not the one you sprouts have to take. The one where she teaches us about real hacking – but then, I doubt you've got the sack to stick it out long enough to be a second-hour. Whether your little lover makes it that long is up to you."  
  
"Lover!" Calisto giggled. "Fat chance!"  
  
"Have you yet, Enzo? No, of course not – you're just a little boy. I'd say you couldn't even manage it for her except we both know that's not true, don't we?"  
  
"Shut up!" Tears were burning my eyes now and I couldn't do anything to stop them. It was a horrible nightmare come to life. "Just shut up. You can't know what I wrote. You can't!"  
  
"Can't I? Would you like me to read some more? I remember all sorts of things – Calisto and I really enjoyed it."  
  
"How?"  
  
Zip giggled – an odd sound his freakish throat wasn't designed to produce. "I'm brilliant, Peachfuzz – your little security protocols were easy as pi squared to break. Like I said – I pay attention in Mouse's class." He roughly yanked Lisa upright. "Enough talking – an enjoyable as this has been, I'm ready for some real fun."  
  
"No! No, no, you can't!"  
  
"Shut him up. But don't hurt him – yet." Zip growled. Calisto put a clammy hand over my mouth and held me as I kicked and struggled, some part of me still hoping that I'd wake up in my bunk any nano.  
  
"I won't let you do this, Zip." Lisa said in a quavering voice. "Tell them if you want – get me expelled. It's better than being touched by a worthless null like you."  
  
"We're going to do 'this', whether you want us to or not, Princess. We can do it the hard way or the easy way – your choice." He grabbed her behind the head and forced his mouth over hers. She struggled wildly and finally managed to wriggle out of his grasp as he stood there, laughing softly.  
  
She was crying now, but still trying so hard to be brave. I loved her more that nano than I ever had, and it deleted me that I was helpless to do anything for her, even as I kicked and struggled harder but couldn't break free. Maybe it was that painfully intense love for her than started an idea forming way in the back of my processor. "If you…you…" She choked on the word – she couldn't get it out. "If you do, I'll tell Laser when we get out. I don't care if I get expelled – so will you. And a lot worse – having a codemaster for a father isn't a crime."  
  
Zip hesitated, just for a nano. I sent my mind out, searching for a hot spot among the cool energy of the maze walls. It was a risky move, but I was as desperate as I could be. "That's your choice, Bitch. Maybe we'll just delete both of you after we're done with you – terrible things happen in games, sometimes. Sprites get deleted."  
  
"You don't have the balls, Zip. Besides - they'll never believe you." I found what I was looking for, not far away from us among the wild tangle of passageways. It was incredibly hard to concentrate because my ears could still hear what was happening in front of me, and it was breaking my heart. I tried desperately to focus on slowly, surely shifting the walls of green. "They'll know you did it, Zip. You'll be file locked for the rest of your pathetic lives."  
  
"I don't think so." I could hear doubt in his voice now, though. "Even so – maybe I'll just tell everyone what a slut you are – how you screwed both of us and loved it. And while I'm at it why not tell them your little boyfriend is a copy, too? He's the pathetic one! That should do wonders for your reputations! And we'll rough Enzo up too, while we're here – may as well. Terrible things happen in games sometimes."  
  
"No! Don't you touch him!" The burst of warm energy was coming closer now. The way was clearing as the walls gave way to open passages that led directly to us.  
  
"I'll do what I want." The sound of his hand slapping her cheek again snapped my eyes open, and I strained against Calisto's grip even harder. He was hesitating, trying to decide what to do. I think he was scared she would tell on him, unless he killed her – and she was right, I don't think he did have the balls to kill her. The problem was, he really wanted to do what he'd planned to do, that was obvious. I could see the battle going on, between his brain and his body. No one said anything for what seemed like forever, as my mind detected the energy coming closer and closer. I reached out and shifted a last wall of green.  
  
Finally the battle inside Zip was over. He smiled and grabbed Lisa by the wrists. "Bring him over – I want him to have a good view."  
  
"Yes!" Calisto hissed urgently.  
  
I bit at Calisto's hand and he yanked it away. "No!" I wailed, knowing my voice could be heard by more than just the four of us and glad of it. "Don't! I swear I'll delete you!"  
  
"I'll… I'll tell." Lisa whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks. "I don't… don't care about… getting expelled. I don't…"  
  
"Maybe I'll delete you then." Zip pushed Lisa to the ground and knelt and grabbed her by the wrists again. "I'm going to enjoy this, you little tease. You're almost as arrogant as Enzo, flaunting your hot little body all over campus. You like spending time with little boys, huh? Well, you're with a man, now."  
  
"You'll never be a man." Lisa growled. "You could rape me a thousand times and Enzo would still be a thousand times the man you are."  
  
A murderous anger flashed in Zip's red eyes and he pulled his arm back, as if he was going to punch Lisa in the face. She flinched and he held his fist there for a couple of nanos. Then he smiled. "Bring him."  
  
Calisto wrestled me around behind Lisa, looking full-on into Zip's face. I gathered all my strength and pushed myself off the ground, kicking out as hard as I could at Zip's head. I just missed him, unfortunately – even in this body my legs were still too short. Zip narrowed his red eyes at me. "Do a better job of holding him, Idiot. I've got work to do here."  
  
"Sorry!" Calisto slapped me in the ear, hard, and I cried out in spite of everything.  
  
"Stop!" Lisa snarled.  
  
"I'd love to do terrible things to you, Peachfuzz – but not yet. I want you all there for the next few micros. After that – all bets are off."  
  
"Don't take too long with her." Calisto whined. "I'm ready to go right now."  
  
"You'll get your chance." Zip turned his attention back to Lisa, still keeping his firm grip on her wrists. He forced her arms up above her head. "Last chance to do this the easy way, Princess. Well?" Lisa didn't say anything – she just stared up at him hatefully, the tears flowing down her cheeks. Zip chuckled and shifted his grip, maneuvering both her wrists into one huge hand, and reached the other for the neck of her tunic.  
  
"Nooo!" I tried to bite Calisto's hand but he was ready for me. Lisa screamed and started struggling wildly under Zip's grasp, twisting and kicking at him as best she could as he started to tear at her tunic. He swore and lowered more of his huge weight onto her torso, pinning her down.  
  
It was Calisto who saw the User first, which is funny because he's so stupid he wouldn't recognize a dog if it bit him in the ascii. But my eyes were locked onto Zip and Lisa and theirs were locked onto each other. "Look out!"  
  
"What?" Zip spat irritably. He'd managed to rip Lisa's tunic off of one shoulder and was clearly focused on what would happen next. When he followed Calisto's eyes and saw the User, though, he immediately sprang to his feet. "Crash! Crash it all!"  
  
The User stepped down the passageway towards us, still a ways off – Theseus, a young, bearded warrior in a simple tunic, holding a one-handed thrusting sword. Lisa, still crying, curled into a ball and crawled slowly towards me. "What do we do?" Calisto cried.  
  
"What we planned. Keep calm and everything will be fine."  
  
"I… I can touch him – turn him to gold! Like the infant said!"  
  
"How stupid are you?" Zip growled. "That'll kill him – we'll win the game and be back at the Academy. What good will that do?"  
  
"Right, right – sorry!"  
  
"We'll slow him down – hurt him but not kill him. Then we can take our time with her and enjoy ourselves until the moon sets and we win the game." He raised his mace as the User drew closer.  
  
I knew I'd taken a terrible risk leading the User to us – but one look at the horror on Lisa's face told me it was worth it. And it wasn't the User that had put that look there. At least this way I was forcing Zip into some sort of decision. I strained, trying to go to Lisa, but Calisto's grip was still too strong, even though it slackened a little as he got distracted by the User.  
  
The User may has well have not even been there – all I could see was Lisa. Her tunic had been ripped away from one shoulder and her chest was partly uncovered, but I refused to look – I swear my eyes burned. I concentrated on her face. Her cheeks were red from the slaps and the crying and I wanted more than anything to hold her and make everything be all right for her – but I knew that was impossible. Even if we survived the game I knew she'd never forgive me. But that didn't matter now – I still had to get her out of this, I had to. I watched her as she crawled closer, then as she looked up at the User and her eyes focused. "Enzo! What…"  
  
I looked back at the User at last. He and Zip were circling each other, slowly. He was smiling, but that's not what I noticed. I hadn't seen it when I was facing him head-on, but from the side it was obvious – the pulsing green vein on his neck. "No!"  
  
"Be careful." Calisto hissed. "That sword looks pretty sharp!"  
  
"Of course it's sharp, you 9-pinhead! Get off your ascii and help me – cut him off, push him towards me!"  
  
"Lisa!" I whispered. "You've got to get to me this nano – hurry!" Calisto dragged me over towards the User, holding me in front of him like a shield. "Zip! Stay away from him!"  
  
"Shut him up."  
  
"No! He's infected, you nullbrain! Don't let him touch you! We've got to get away from him now!"  
  
"What?" A flicker of confusion crossed his bull face for a nano, then disappeared. "Nice try, Peachfuzz. But not nice enough."  
  
"It's true! Look at his- Mmmmmmf!" Calisto had his hand over my mouth again.  
  
"Maybe he's right." Calisto said doubtfully, as Zip lunged at the User with his mace and missed. His sim was clumsy and slow, but the User made no effort to use his sword except to defend itself. The last thing it wanted to do was delete us. "His neck looks funny – it's all- Owww!"  
  
All of a sudden Calisto's grip on me was gone and I pushed myself away from him and rolled to my feet, wincing from the pain in my gut. I looked up and saw Lisa's teeth buried in his forearm as he screamed. He flailed his arms and finally managed to toss her away and she landed hard, with a groan. "Lisa!"  
  
Calisto looked confused, debating whether to go after us or help Zip with the User. I crawled over to Lisa and wrapped my arms around her. She was shaking like anything, and soft little sobs were coming from her throat. "En…Enzo…"  
  
"Are you OK? Are you hurt?" She shook her head slightly. "Can you walk?"  
  
"Look!" she whispered. I looked up and saw Zip struggling to free his mace, which the User had grabbed in one hand and was holding as if Zip were a little child trying to yank it free. It was just like Sideshow Bob in the game when I was 0.1 – he had strength this User would never have if he weren't infected. And who knew what else.  
  
"Help me!" Zip shouted. "Touch him! Touch him, kill him!"  
  
"But the game! If I touch him it'll be over!"  
  
"Do it you idiot!" Zip screamed. The mace glowed bright green for a nano, and Zip stiffened and groaned. Then he dropped to his knees and the User released the mace.  
  
"Zip!" Calisto shrieked. Then he backed off a step like the coward he was.  
  
Zip took a deep breath and stood. The green pulse on his neck was obvious. Lisa gave a little gasp and I hugged her tighter. The User took a step towards Calisto, but Zip put a hand on his elbow. "No. Don't touch him."  
  
They stood for a nano, as if some sort of silent communication was passing between them. Then the User smiled. "Of course, Brother." Zip smiled now too, and took a step towards Calisto.  
  
"Get away from him!" I shouted. "Don't let him touch you – he's infected!" Calisto was too scared to move – he just stood there shaking, looking between Zip and the User. "Calisto – come on! Get away from him now!"  
  
"Don't go, Calisto." Zip said softly, still smiling. "Aren't I your best friend? Come on – let's shake." He held out his hand.  
  
"No! Get away, Stupid!"  
  
"Come on." Lisa whispered in a shaky voice. "Enzo!"  
  
"We can't just leave him! He…" It was too late, though. Calisto wasn't basic enough to shake Zip's hand, but he was too much of a coward to do anything else. He just stood there and trembled and let Zip reach out and put his hand on his forehead. Calisto gave a short little scream and went to his knees, and the golden child dropped from his arms and rolled to our feet. Then he was silent. And after a nano he stood, and all three of them turned to look at Lisa and me. 


	22. Trapped

"Come on." Lisa whispered in a shaky voice.  "Enzo!"

"We can't just leave him!  He…"  It was too late, though.  Calisto wasn't stupid enough to shake Zip's hand, but he was too much of a coward to do anything else.  He just stood there and trembled and let Zip reach out and put his hand on his forehead.  He gave a short little scream and went to his knees, and the golden child dropped from his arms and rolled to our feet. Then he was silent.  And after a nano he stood, and all three of them turned to look at Lisa and me.

"Crash!  Let's go."  Lisa was still shaky on her feet, so I wrapped one arm around her waist and held her against me and half-dragged her down a green-lined passageway, as fast as my legs would carry me, cradling the gold child in my other arm.

"Wait!  Enzo, I'm so very sorry if I've hurt you!  Come back!" Zip's voice called after me.  I heard footsteps behind us.

"We've got to hurry!" I hissed.  "Can you stand on your own?"

"I think so." Lisa rasped.  

I released her waist and grabbed her hand and broke into a run, still needing to pull her along as best I could.  We came to a three-way intersection and after a nano's hesitation, I dragged her down the left-hand passageway.  I sent my mind out and tried to shift the walls, but I couldn't do it while I was running – it was too deleted hard, I had to concentrate to see the patterns.  "Wait!" I panted.  I closed my eyes and tried to block out everything as best I could, and after what felt like an hour I managed to close of the passage behind us.  "Crash…  That won't hold them for long…"

"Oh, Enzo..."  Lisa sobbed deeply and buried her face against my shoulder, crying uncontrollably now.

"It'll be all right." I whispered, my insides wracked with fear and indecision guilt and a million other emotions that I couldn't control.  I gently tugged Lisa's ripped tunic up over her shoulder as best I could and hugged her.  "I'm sorry, Lisa.  I'm so sorry."  I could sense the others close, getting closer, but she needed a few nanos and that's all there was to it.  After what had happened – and almost happened – I couldn't blame her.  So we knelt and I let her cry for a bit and just held her and felt helpless to do anything else.

"Enzo, when he…  When he was lying on top of me I could…  I could feel his…"

I bit down hard on a sudden urge to retch.  "He'll… He'll never touch you again.  It's OK, I promise.  I'd never let him hurt you."

"Enzo, he-"

"Don't talk, OK?  Just rest for a nano."  I kept holding her and she sobbed a few more times, more and more softly.  "Are you OK?" I whispered, knowing as soon as I did that it was a stupid question.  Of _course_ she wasn't OK – but the others were on the far side of the wall of green now, I could hear them as well as sense them.  "We have to move – I'm sorry.  They'll catch us."

"I know."  She squeezed me hard and pushed herself to her feet.  "Let's go."

I tried to smile.  "We'll be all right – I promise."  I stood and grabbed her hand and we took off at a run.  I heard a crash behind me and turned my head to see the User teetering on his feet behind us.  I was confused for a nano and then I realized – he'd jumped the wall.  Of course that should have been impossible, but I couldn't tell that to _him_.  "Crash!  They're splitting up."  I slid to a halt and shifted the patterns in my head, blocking him off from us for the moment.

"What do we do?" Lisa panted.

"Keep running for the nano!  He can jump a wall but if he doesn't know which one to jump, we'll be all right."  We ran again for a few millis, and then I stopped and shifted the passageways around behind us.  I couldn't find the User right away but I didn't sense him close by, so I slid down to my bitmap and leaned against the wall of the passage, panting.

Lisa slid down next to me, holding her tunic in place with one hand.  For some reason the sight made me so sad that I almost started crying on the spot.  "Are…  Are they close?"

"Dunno."  I took long, deep breaths, trying to fill my lungs up as fast as I could.  "Better whisper…  Just in case."

"Enzo…"  Lisa put her head on my shoulder and closed her eyes.  "You led the User to us, didn't you?"

I didn't say anything right away.  I closed my eyes too, and tried to imagine we were sitting under a tree in the woods behind the girls' dorm.  "I'd never let them do…  Do _that_ to you.  Never."

"I knew you'd save me."

"Lisa!  I…"  I did start crying now, a little, and kissed her hair.  Sim or not, dark or golden, her hair would always be beautiful.  "I haven't saved you from anything.  We're in bad trouble."

"I know." She whispered.  "What now?"

I was trying to think of all the possibilities, all the options – but I couldn't find any that I liked very much.  I remembered something Matrix had told me about the infected Guardians he'd met while he was lost in the net.  "I think they can communicate with each other – y'know, without talking.  Somehow Daemon lets them do it.  So they'll split and try and track us, hunt us until they have us cornered.  Then…"

"I didn't really believe it was possible.  I didn't think the stories were true – how can she infect a game?"

"I dunno." I sighed.  "But I've seen it before."  I pictured the labyrinth in my head again and changed the passages immediately surrounding us.  I could feel the others out there, close but not so close that I could tell exactly where they were.  "I didn't think there was such a thing as the no-win scenario, but I guess there is…"

"What?"

I sighed.  "We have to lose the game."

"What?  Lose the game?  But-"

"Listen."  I took her sweet face in my hands and stared into her eyes.  "The User won't try and win the game, now – he wants to lose.  If _we_ win – even if we manage to stay uninfected, we'll bring two infected cadets back to the Academy with us.  We already have everything we need for the User to win except the minotaur's horn – if we can get that, somehow, we can bring them to the center of the labyrinth and the User will win.  We'll be trapped in here, but at least the Academy will be safe."  

"What about us?"

"We'll survive.  Matrix did."  I tried to smile.  Being lost in the games wasn't first on my list of goals, but at least we'd be together.  "We'll go into game-sprite mode and leave with the game.  Zip and Calisto will probably be nullified – they won't be expecting us to lose.  So we can ditch this infected game in the next system and…  And try and find our way home, somehow.  Bob and Dot will find out, they'll look for us."

"Game-sprite mode?  But what about…"

"What?"

"Never mind." She lifted her head and smiled bleakly.  "You're right.  We have to try and lose the game."

"What is it?  You have GS mode, right?  Bob said all the cadets' icons were upgraded when they downloaded the protocols…"

"Of course I do.  We'll be fine – we'll be together."

I stared at her, trying to puzzle out what was nagging at my processor.  "Your father!"

"Enzo-"

"It's your father, isn't it?  Your icon is half codemaster – GS mode might not work!"

"It doesn't matter.  You were right – we-"

"No!" I hissed.  Oh User, how could I be so stupid?  "You could be nullified if we lose the game!"

"Or I might _not_."

"It doesn't matter!"  I wiped tears from my eyes and kissed her forehead.  It didn't matter if Lisa never spoke to me again after this was over – there was no way I was risking her code by losing this game.  I didn't have the right.  "We'll just have to win the game, that's all.  And deal with the consequences."

"But Enzo-"

"No!  No, no, no."  I squeezed her to me as tight as I could.  "I'll never let anything happen to you. I _can't_.  We'll survive somehow."  There was a sharp pain, like a burst of fire in my processor.

"Enzo!  What is it?"

"They're close!  Come on."  I stumbled to my feet and we took off down the passageway, only to see Calisto's form appear straight ahead of us, grinning.   We spun and Lisa started to run back the way we'd come from, but I grabbed her hand.  "No!  The User's there, I sense him…"

"What do we do?"

In a nano of panic I did the only thing I could think of and opened a gap in the wall next to us.  I yanked Lisa through and hurriedly closed it behind us.  Unfortunately I hadn't had time to think about where it would take us, and it led us into a dead-end passageway.  "Crash!"

"Fly!" Lisa hissed.

"What?"

"You can fly, can't you?  Those wings?"

Typical – I'd totally forgotten about that.  "I…  I guess so.  But they won't support both of us – too much weight!  I'm not even sure I could figure out how to do it with just mine!"

"Try!"  She grabbed my hands.  "One of us has to stay uninfected until the game is over, to warn the others!  If you can fly, you can-"

"No!  I can't!"

"Enzo, think!  You _have_ to!"

"No!"  I could see that, logically, she was right – it made sense for me to try and preserve myself any way I could.  But I couldn't – maybe at heart I was just a basic little kid, but if that's what I was I couldn't be anything else.  Not yet, anyways.  I loved Lisa and I'd never leave her, not ever.  Maybe logic didn't have to be right all the time.

"Enzo, please – just go.  I'll be-"

"No."  I kissed her on the mouth, and I'm being totally honest when I say I did it because I couldn't think of any other way to shut her up, and I knew we didn't have time to argue about this any more.  She just stared at me, eyes wide.  "I love you.  I'll always love you and I'll never leave you, never.  Let me concentrate for a nano, OK?  Please?"

"OK." She sighed.  I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, and the others were so close they were like a bad headache.  I managed to form a picture of the maze in my head and figured out where we were.  I knew Calisto was on the other side of the wall I'd just pulled us through, and I knew the User was somewhere behind us.  I didn't know exactly where Zip was, but the only direction we could go was straight ahead.

I heard a loud crash, which I knew was the sound of the User landing after another of his impossible jumps.  It sounded frighteningly close, too.  I opened a gap in the wall in front of us and pulled Lisa through, knowing this was another dead-end, leading us back to where Calisto was.  But I saw that if I cut through the _next_ wall we'd be in a long passageway that led to a three-way junction, and that could buy us some time.  I opened the way and we went through again, and I stopped long enough to seal it behind us.  Then we took off at a run towards the junction.

What I was learning was that moving the maze around with my mind was tiring – exhausting, even.  Combined with all the running we were doing I wasn't sure I could keep it up much longer.  By the time we got to the intersection of the three passages the maze was a blur in my mind and my legs felt like wet noodles.  "Which way?" Lisa whispered.

I groaned, even the effort to concentrate long enough to pick a direction painful.  I pointed towards the left-hand option, which took us generally towards the center of the maze, and stumbled and almost fell.  Lisa half-carried me a few steps down the corridor until I squeezed her arm.  "Rest." I panted.

"OK."  She helped me sit down – I think I would have just fallen over otherwise – and I leaned over against her, eyes closed.  "Are you all right?"

"Tired.  It's…hard.  Moving…the maze."  I think I was more exhausted than I'd ever been in my life.  My brain was trying to wander and think about what would happen even if we somehow survived the game intact – there's be infected cadets running around the Academy and even if we got through that, somehow, I was facing the prospect of Lisa never wanting to be with me again and that was enough to make me cry just by itself.  But I forced it back onto the nano at hand – I had to get Lisa out of this, somehow.  It was my fault we were _in_ this mess anyway.

"Enzo.  Poor Enzo.  You're such a stubborn thing, if you'd just listen to me and fly away from here-"

"No.  Never.  I won't leave you."

"I know." She sighed.  She kissed me on the forehead and I have to say, for someone that I knew would never forgive me she was being really nice.  But we had to stick together to survive, so I guess I shouldn't have been surprised.  "Just rest.  We're safe for a while."

"Not for long." I panted, still out of breath.  

"How long do you think we'd have to do this – to win the game?  How long do we have to hold out?"

"I don't know."  I opened my eyes and squinted at the moon, which still looked disgustingly high overhead.  It was probably way less than halfway to the horizon from its starting point, when we'd entered the game.  "Too long."

"We'll manage.  I know you'll keep me safe."  Lisa smiled and squeezed me.  "Like always."

"Yeah.  Like always."  The words definitely left a bitter taste in my mouth.  "If that output Calisto had run away when I told him too, maybe we could have gotten him to touch the User and win the deleted game for us and we wouldn't have to run all night!"  I looked up at the sky again.  "I don't know if I can do it, Lisa – there's three of them, and they're talking to each other, tracking us.  They're getting closer and I'm so tired.  This is bad – _very_ bad."

"I know.  Just do your best.  We'll just have to try – I'll help you as much as I can."

"I know."  I forced a smile and groaned as I pushed myself upright.  "We better get moving.  I can feel them getting closer."

"What does it feel like – seeing them inside your head?"

"Like a dull headache.  Except when they're really close, and it's like a sharp pain.  They're like bright spots and when they're close it's like looking at something that hurts your eyes."

"Poor Enzo.  I hope it doesn't hurt too much."

"No – not too much."  I still had to kind of half-lean against her as we walked, and I think she knew I wasn't in great shape.  She wrapped her arm around my waist and locked my fingers in hers, and it made me feel a little better.  "Thanks."

"How do _I_ feel in your head?"

"Perfect."  I smiled at her.  "I'll miss you being there when the game's over."

"Have I told you that you look cute with a beard?"

"Stop!"  I couldn't help but giggle, it was such a silly thing to say and a silly time to say it.

"Enzo, what would happen if we were to leave the labyrinth?  You know – just find the exit and go?"

I thought for a nano.  "I…I dunno.  Nothing, I guess.  I don't think we _can_ leave – I don't think this world exists outside the maze."

"Oh." She sounded disappointed.

"Besides – even if we could, wouldn't it make us that much easier to find, out in the open?  At least in here we have places to hide."  I sighed and turned to her.  "Um – you couldn't do any… _codemaster_ stuff – could you?"

She smiled a little.  "What sort of _stuff_ did you have in mind, Enzo?  I'm not a magician.  I'm not even a full codemaster."

"Sorry!  I know.  I shouldn't have asked you…"

"It's all right."  She squeezed my hand.  "Nothing I could do would be much help – and I couldn't do anything inside a game cube, anyway.  It wouldn't work."

"Oh."  I could have kicked myself for even bringing it up.  "Sorry."

"If I could save you, Enzo, I'd do it in a nano.  But we're going to have to find another way."

"We will.  I promise."  The passage we were in took a ninety-degree turn to the left.  "Hold on a nano."  I took a deep breath, trying to muster up the energy to see the maze in my head again.  My ability to sense the others was getting weaker – I couldn't pinpoint where they were anymore, just a very vague sense of a direction that might have been wrong anyway, for all I knew.  I concentrated on creating an opening in the wall in front of us.

"Enzo!"

I opened my eyes and, much to my surprise, I was sitting down.  I felt Lisa's cool hands on my cheeks.  "What…"

"You left me for a nano." She whispered shakily.  "Are you OK?"

"I…  I must've fainted or something…"  There was an opening in the wall, anyway.  "C'mon, let's-  Oh, Crash…"

"Enzo!" She caught me as I fell again trying to stand.

"I'm all right."

"No you're not!"  She cradled me against her.  "Just stop this, OK?  Don't delete yourself.  I need you."

"But-"

"Just stop.  Is this really doing any good, anyway?  They know you can change the walls around – it's not like they're just going to go wherever you want them to."

"Crash."  Even keeping my eyes open was too much effort.  I let my body relax and felt the soft warmth of Lisa's against me.  "But they…have to – Zip and Calisto anyways.  They can't…jump the walls, I don't think."

"The User can.  And it's just luck, staying away from the others.  They'll keep walking until we stumble into them, no matter how many times you move the walls around."  I felt her slowly stroking my hair and heard her sigh.  "I wish this was all over and you could sleep, Enzo.  You're so tired."

"I'm fine." I mumbled.  "I just need to rest a nano."

"Take as long as you need, Cutie.  Save your strength in case they corner us.  We'll go as soon as you're ready, OK?"  She kept smoothing my hair and I felt her start to rock me a little bit.  I don't think she even knew she was doing it.

"Stop, OK?"

"Huh?"

I opened my eyes and she was frowning at me.  "If you don't stop that I think I'm gonna go to sleep in a nano." I smiled weakly.  "It feels too good."

"Oh.  Sorry!"

"If I could just stay right here, I'd be happy forever."  I meant it, too.

"Oh, Enzo…" 

"I love you."  I raised myself up and kissed her cheek.  "Let's go, OK?  I promise we'll get out of this.  We'll be OK."

"I know, Sweetie."  We hugged and sort of repelled against each other to our feet.  "Are you sure you can walk?"

"Nope."  My legs felt like printer cables, but they held.  "Yep.  Let's get going."  We inched forwards through the gap I'd made in the wall and I looked back, debating whether I could find the strength to close it behind us.  "Interface it.  Let them try and decide which way we went…"

"Now what?"  Lisa was starting to sound almost as tired as I was.

"They're close again.  Crash it, I can feel them!  What if we go to the center – the heart of the labyrinth?  Zip couldn't follow us there – we've got all the other items and his horns are still attached to his head.  They'd lose if he did – I'm sure they know it."

"Maybe." Lisa smiled sadly.  "But you said they can communicate with each other.  Wouldn't they just send Calisto or the User in to infect us?"

"Cursors.  I don't know what to do, Lisa.  I just don't know.  I'm too weak to keep this up much longer and they're getting closer.  I don't know what to do!"

"Shhh.  We'll figure something out, it's OK."

"Crash."  I knew the end was coming closer – I could feel the noose tightening around me and there was nothing I could do about it.  The worst thing was that I couldn't save Lisa – that's what I really hated.  It was my fault she was in danger and I couldn't even save the girl I loved with all my heart.  What would Matrix think of me now?

"I hear something." Lisa whispered.  We stopped and listened, and after a nano I heard it too – footsteps on the other side of the wall of the passageway.  One of them was right there – listening for us, no doubt.  If it was the User, we were as good as infected.

I put my finger to my lips and closed my eyes, trying to at least determine who was there.  My head throbbed and I could barely stand, but a picture formed in my head, fuzzy as it was.  There was something recognizable about the energy, something familiar.  I opened my eyes and silently mouthed "Zip."

"What now?" Lisa wordlessly replied.  If I was right about it being Zip over there, I didn't think there was any way for him to get at us yet – there didn't seem to be any access to the passage we were in from the one he was in, not close-by anyway.  I was too tired to get a clear picture.  If I was wrong and it was the User we were toast anyway.  I pointed that we should keep going the way we were going, and we tiptoed on as silently as we could.

We stopped every few steps, listening for footsteps, but we didn't hear anything.  If Zip had heard _us_ he's have told the others where we were, that was a sure bet.  Our corridor came to a T-junction and I pointed to the right, away from where we'd heard Zip.  Lisa nodded and we turned, holding onto each other for support as we walked.

We'd taken maybe fifteen or twenty steps when Calisto's form stepped into the corridor, well in front of us.  Lisa gasped and squeezed her arms tightly around me.  He didn't see us right away and we spun, took a couple of steps in the other direction but before we got to the T-junction Zip appeared, just on the far side of it.  If we'd turned left instead of right we'd already be infected, but it didn't seem to make a lot of difference now.

Lisa and I were holding each other tightly and I quickly measured the distance in my processor, my heart pounding.  There was no way we'd make it to the junction in time – Zip was closer than we were.  I dragged her a couple steps in the other direction but Calisto had spotted us and he was coming closer.  We were trapped.  I heard a soft, "Oh, no!" escape my lips.

"Oh, Enzo." Lisa whispered.  "Enzo…"

"I'm sorry."  I blinked tears out of eyes and turned back to Zip, who'd be the first one to reach us.  There was no way I could open a passage now, not in the state I was in – and I didn't have time anyway.  All I could think was how I'd let the girl I loved down when she needed me.  "I'm sorry, Lisa."


	23. Stand and Deliver

"I'm sorry."  I blinked tears out of eyes and turned back to Zip, who'd be the first one to reach us.  There was no way I could open a passage now, not in the state I was in – and I didn't have time anyway.  All I could think was how I'd let the girl I loved down when she needed me.  "I'm sorry, Lisa."

"It's not your fault."  She kissed me on the cheek.  "You were wonderful.  You always are."

"Isn't this sweet." Zip smiled, the vein on his neck pulsing a sickly green.  "Don't worry – you'll still be together.  Forever…"

Lisa pushed her way between me and Zip, as if she could save me somehow.  "You're still a pig, Zip – infected or not."

"And you'll still be a bitch.  Shall we get this over with?"  He reached out a hand for her and she cowered back, trembling.  

"No!"  Seeing Zip's horrible animal face leering so close to Lisa's made me think of what he'd tried to do to her before, and what he'd done to me.  He was everything evil in the net, infection or no – and she was everything good.  She was my whole life.  It filled me with some kind of twisted rage like I've never felt before and it gave me a kind of strength.  I still had the golden child under my arm, and without really realizing what I was doing I whipped it at him with everything I had.  It wasn't very heavy but it was hard, and it hit him right in the eye – the same one I'd popped in the rec room.  He gave a little scream and stumbled back, and the mace he was holding dropped to the ground.  

Time seemed to slow down again, like it had in the rec room when we'd fought.  I wrapped a hand around the handle of the mace and I _know_ it should've been too heavy for me to lift, much less do anything else.  But I could see Lisa's beautiful face, still red from Zip hitting her, and somehow it _wasn't_ too heavy.  As Zip stumbled to his feet I swung it around hard and released it just before it dug into his shoulder.  He screamed and collapsed against the green wall of the passageway, blood pouring from his toga.

Calisto had broken into a run now, though he was still a ways off.  I could hear myself panting as I took a step towards Zip, and I picked up the mace and held it in both hands.  He was writing in pain, his face blank with shock.  I lifted the mace and took aim at his head.  I stood over him, thinking of all the reasons I hated him, how he'd hurt me and how he'd hurt Lisa and what he'd almost done to her, and I raised the mace a little higher.

I held it there for what felt like forever but I'm sure only a nano or two passed, because Calisto hadn't gotten much closer.  Finally I lowered the mace and spit, a good wad with everything I had, and it hit Zip right between the eyes and he flinched.  I got a good grip on the mace and turned to Lisa.  "Are you OK?"

"Fine." She said, looking stunned.

"Let's go."  I took off down the passage and Lisa was right behind me.  The mace was starting to feel pretty heavy now and it didn't occur to me until much later that I had no way of knowing that touching it wouldn't infect me – it could've had some sort of residual trace of Daemon on it, or something.  I guess it wouldn't have mattered – it was the only chance we had anyway.  But now that my unnatural adrenaline strength was wearing off it was starting to feel like Matrix after a big meal.

We got to the T-junction and turned back the way we'd come.  The mace slowed me down and Lisa caught up to me quickly, carrying the golden child in her arms.  I knew Calisto wouldn't stop to take care of Zip's wounds, and I knew my strength was going fast.  "Stop!" I hissed, and went to my knees.  I mustered up every bit of concentration I had left and closed off the junction behind us.  Panting, I dropped the mace to the ground and started to fall onto my side.

I felt Lisa's hands on my back, holding me steady.  She helped me to a sitting position and gently brought my head to her shoulder.  "It's OK, Enzo.  Rest.  It's OK."

"I'm sorry." I rasped.  "I wanted to delete him, I really did."  One thought was running through my processor – _Matrix_ would have.

"I know.  I know you did."

"I wanted to."  I wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my tunic.  "I wanted, to Lisa.  I should have deleted him for what he did to you, I'm so sorry."

"Stop.  Just be quiet and rest now."

"I'm a coward, Matrix would have done it…"

"Stop it.  You're not a coward!  You're brave, you saved me again."  She kissed my head, over and over.  "You're the bravest sprite I know, Enzo.  You don't have to delete anybody to prove it."

"But-"

"You're not a killer. You'll never be a killer.  Anyone could have deleted him – he was helpless.  It was much braver _not_ to."

"Maybe." I sighed.  There _had_ been a time, once, where Matrix didn't delete someone he could have.  Maybe should have.  Did that make him a coward?

"Just rest.  My brave boy."  I fell against her and let my muscles relax, just for a nano.  I felt totally drained – physically, mentally, and especially emotionally.  "You always find a new way to amaze me, Cutie – you know that?"

"Huh?"

"You started surprising me with that first kiss."  She smiled and kissed my nose.  "And you've never stopped.   Are you OK?"

"I guess."  I grunted and sat up.  Every muscle ached.  "I'm getting pretty tired of this, though."  I looked at the mace, lying next to me, a couple of the points now tipped with blood.  "I don't want to run anymore.  Let's finish this once and for all, while we're still strong enough to stand a chance and Zip is offline.  He won't be for long."

"I'm pretty sure you broke his arm, Cutie."

"Maybe.  But when someone is infected by Daemon they're not normal – she'll make him keep going no matter how much pain he's in.  Until he loses so much blood it deletes him, anyway."

"Oh, my…"

"He deserves to delete." I scowled.  I'd never felt that way about anyone except Megabyte – and even there I'm not sure how I'd feel if I looked him in the eye.  The most terrible things he'd done were during my "absence" before the restart, and while I'd heard all about them it wasn't the same as _being_ there.  But with Zip I _was_ sure – I hated him in a way I'd never hated anyone.  Any sprite that'd try and do what he was planning to do to Lisa – or any girl – deserved to delete.  And Lisa wasn't just any girl – she was the one I wanted to be with forever.

But I didn't want to be the cause of it.  Let whatever happened happen – I wouldn't delete him or _anyone_, not if I could help it.  Not unless I had to do it to save someone I loved.  To mend and defend.  But we still had a game to win, and the User wasn't a sprite like Zip who'd die if his game character did.  "We've got to kill the User – it's the only way.  If we keep running we'll get weaker and weaker until they trap us and we're helpless, and Zip probably _will_ bleed to deletion.  Let's kill the User and end this thing."

"I'm all in favor of it, Sweetie – but how?"

"We'll make our last stand." I sighed.  "Find a good spot and wait for him and when he comes – take our best shot.  And if he doesn't find us, just let the clock run out.  I don't think that'll happen, though."

"What if it's Calisto who finds us – or even Zip?  We'll waste our strength fighting _them_ and even if we win, the game won't be over."

"I know.  But I have an idea."

Lisa smiled wearily.  "I thought you might, somehow.  What is it?"

"I'll partition us in."

"What?"

"Trap us – inside a box.  We'll find a spot and I'll seal it off, so the only way inside is to go _over_ the wall.  Only the User can do that."

"Crash." Lisa said softly.  "We'll be trapped inside with him, then."

"I know.  But it's the only thing I can think of."

She squeezed my hand.  "I'd feel better if we _both_ had a weapon of some kind – this little golden girl isn't much of one.  And that mace is as big as you are, practically."

"Yeah!  But it's all we have, so…"

"Maybe not." She frowned thoughtfully.

"What do you mean?"

"I know you're tired, Enzo – but can you still shift the walls around?  If you have to?"

"I'll have to anyways – to seal us off." I sighed.  "So I guess the answer has to be yes."

Lisa smiled.  "One of us could hide – on the opposite side of a wall.  With the mace.  And when the User comes, you could open a gap and they could come through and surprise the User."

"Crash – that's not bad!  We sure wouldn't have much time, though."

"It's better than letting him see what's coming, isn't it?"

"Yeah.  I…  I could get in a clean shot, maybe-"

"Not you, Cutie.  Me."

"What?"  It was a struggle not to shout.  "Lisa, no-"

"Listen!"  She grabbed my hands and leaned in close.  "You're tired and weak – you've been keeping us both processing since we got in here.  Save your strength to shift the maze.  I'm not as wiped out as you are – I'll have a better chance to take him out with one shot."

"But…  Lisa-"

"Trust me." She smiled and kissed my forehead gently.  "Let me do this, Enzo – it's the best way.  Just rest and save your strength so you'll be ready."

"All right." I sighed.  Even as exhausted as I was I could see she was right, even though my pride was a little hurt.  It was her idea, anyways.  "But when you swing the mace, let it go right before it actually hits him – I don't want you getting infected and I'm not sure how it works.  Both of you touching the mace might be enough."

"Right."  She picked up the weapon in both hands and hefted it slowly. "Cursors and crashes, Enzo – this thing is heavy!"

"I know."

"How did you swing it so hard?"

I shrugged.  "Dunno.  I saw Zip reaching for you and I…  I just _did_, I guess."

Lisa set the mace down and put her arms around me.  "You really are the most amazing sprite, you know that?"

"I just didn't want him to hurt you any more."

"I know." She squeezed me and smiled.  "I'll manage it, somehow.  Are you strong enough to keep going?"

"Hang on a nano."  I closed my eyes and urged my brain to work, one more time, to try and get some idea where we were.  "Codeswap it.  This is as good a place as any – there's passageways on either side of us, so you can hide.  Let him come to _us_, for a change."  I grunted and felt myself swaying as I sealed off the corridor several steps away from us.

"Are you OK?"  She was holding my steady, just like she had been for micros.

"Yeah."  I panted.  I opened my eyes and looked around.  We were effectively boxed in – I'd closed off the only access.  Our cell was a passageway maybe ten steps long.  "Now all…we can do is wait.  And…rest."

"I doubt we'll have to wait long." Lisa sighed.

"Yeah.  Let's…  Let's go right…to the center and wait there – we don't know which way he'll be…coming from."

"Right."  I could barely walk, and Lisa had to help me to the center of our pen.  We slowly lowered ourselves to the floor, as far from the walls of the passage as possible.  I closed my eyes and leaned my weight against her.

"How will we know where I should hide?" Lisa said after a few nanos.  "There's passageways on all four sides."

"When he gets very close, I'll feel him.  He feels different than Zip and Calisto.  I should be able to tell which direction he's coming from, and I'll open a path to the opposite passage so you can hide in there.  Then when he comes in, I'll open the way."

"Oh Enzo…  Will you be able to?  You're so tired.  If you can't open the way again you'll be trapped in here by yourself!"

I opened my eyes to look at her, trying to give her confidence.  "I'll be fine. I just need to rest a few millis, I promise."

"Enzo."  She sighed deeply and smiled.  "You're my hero, Cutie."

"I just want you to be OK, Lisa.  I just want this over.  It's my fault it happened."  

"It is not."  She hugged me and I went stiff for just a nano, but I couldn't resist and I hugged her back.  I wanted her to be angry with me, somehow – I deserved it and I knew we were only delaying the inevitable.  But I was defenseless when she hugged me, and I was so tired and scared and she was so soft and warm and I put my head on her shoulder and she put hers on mine, just like in the directory trees, and I tried not to cry.

"I'm sorry all this happened.  I'm sorry Zip… I'm sorry he… touched you."

"I know.  It wasn't your fault, Enzo.  He's sick."

"If…  If we get out of here-"

"Hush.  Don't talk about that now.  Let's just worry about getting through this, OK?"

"OK." I whispered.  It's funny, but even though she looked different in the game her hair and her skin smelled just the same as they did in RL.  With my eyes closed it was so easy to pretend we were safe, and I'd be able so stay in her arms forever.

"Are they close, do you think?"

"I…I don't think so.  Not very close.  Calisto's probably trying to find another way in here."

"They'll be here soon enough, I guess." Lisa sighed.  Neither of us said anything for a couple micros after that – I think we were both exhausted and scared and just out of things to say.  Besides, when we hugged each other it was incredibly comfortable – it was like we _fit_ somehow.  It was safe, it was warm, just totally wonderful…

"Enzo?"  My eyes snapped open. "Are you asleep?"

"No." I mumbled.  I think I _had_ drifted off for a few nanos, and that was the worst possible thing I could do – asleep, I wouldn't be able to sense the User coming and he'd be on us before we could be ready for him.  "I can't – I have to stay awake."

"You can nap for a few nanos if you want – I'll keep watch-"

"No."  I blinked a few times and sat up.  I gave Lisa a weary smile.  "I could let you hug me all cycle – but I have to stay awake, the User will be here soon."

"I _could_ hug you all cycle."  She kissed me gently on the nose and stroked my cheek.

User, she was beautiful – gold hair or dark, she was everything I could ever imagine.  Her eyes were the same as always – dark and warm and gentle, and looking right through me.  At that nano the thought that I might never kiss her again was suddenly too much to bear.  I leaned in close, took her face in my hands and softly kissed her on the lips.  "I love you so much."

"Enzo?"  She looked surprised.

"Sorry!" I closed my eyes and turned away.

"It's all right-"

"I shouldn't have kissed you.  Not so soon after – you know…"

"It's all right!"  Lisa slowly tuned me back to face her.  "This has nothing to do with that, Enzo.  Nothing at all."  She kissed me, light as a pixel.  "You just surprised me a little bit, that's all – like you always do."

I kissed her again, softly, on her cheek.  I could have kissed her forever.  "You're the most amazing sprite I've ever met."

"So are you."  We kissed again, right on the lips, and broke our record for intensity by a gigabyte.  We kissed forever, our lips dancing over each other's, until the kiss was all I was and all I ever wanted to be.  It was everything in the net and the web and whatever else is out there besides.  Compared to that kiss, Daemon was a nanobyte in the data sea and always would be.

Maybe it was because we were both desperate and scared and thought we might delete or be infected any nano, I don't know. Maybe it was even because we were in older sims.  But there was something different to kissing her this time, not like any of the others.  More intense.  But I still felt hesitant, like I was threatening her or something.  "I…  Are you sure it's OK?  After what they did to you?"  We didn't even break off the kiss – we just kept going, right through the question.

"Enzo – it's all right.  It's more all right than ever."

I had to see her face – If I didn't I was sure I'd delete right there.  I pulled back and my hands were in her hair and I saw her smile, her soft eyes, and I kissed her lips and her cheek and her forehead and even her ear.  I _knew_ right then and there that we'd be OK – that in a net where something as amazing and wonderful as kissing a girl like Lisa could happen, Daemon didn't stand a chance against us.

I felt like I was possessed – not by Daemon, but by some other force that was controlling my every thought and movement, and I never wanted it to stop.  I held her gently and sighed.  "I love you.  I'll always love you."  I knew I should be afraid, nervous, but I wasn't – I didn't really have a clue what I was doing except that my processor was on auto-pilot and I knew it was _right_, and I felt like Lisa and me were alone in the net, forever.  

"Enzo…"

My lips were back on hers again, soft and warm and sweet on to the touch.  "I'll never let anyone hurt you again.  I promise.  I'll take care of you and keep you safe and I'll never leave you."

"I know you will."  Her hands were in my hair and we were hugging again, clinging to each other.  "You're my hero, Enzo.  My brave boy."

"And you're my angel."  I held her and smelled her hair and even softly kissed her neck, and felt myself lost in her, and I didn't want to believe the feeling in my processor at first.  But it grew stronger and stronger and she felt my body tense up and she knew why.  I closed my eyes tightly and tried to wish the feeling away but it wouldn't go, no matter how much I wished it.  I sighed and pulled away from Lisa and mouthed "He's close."

"Where?" she asked silently.  I closed my eyes again and tried to focus, and my problem now wasn't being exhausted – my whole body was shot through with more energy than it could handle – but that my processor was running on turbo mode and it didn't want to concentrate.  I think I discovered the miracle cure for tiredness that cycle, at least.

My senses were sharper with my renewed energy, and there was no doubt in my mind that it was the User I was sensing.  I thought I could feel Zip or Calisto too, but not close – far enough away that I almost couldn't sense them and I couldn't tell which one it was.  The User was to our left, moving slowly in the long corridor, then behind us.  Circling, confused maybe.  Looking for a way in.

I peeked up at the sky quickly and found the moon.  It was no good – too high in the sky, still.  No escape there.  I felt the User hovering close-by, and I figured he knew something was going on – that the walls around our chamber weren't there by chance.  He knew there was a space inside, closed off from the rest of the labyrinth.

It was time to take a chance.  There was no easy way for him to get into the passageway to our right – he could do it if he jumped a couple walls, but I figured he wouldn't – he knew where we were, most likely.  I grabbed Lisa's hands and gave her what I hoped was a confident smile, and closed my eyes.  I was shaking and my heart was pounding but I blocked everything out as well as I could and after a few nanos of effort I parted the walls, giving Lisa a small gap to slip through.

Lisa sighed and kissed me on the cheek, then handed me the gold child, nodding intently.  It wasn't much of a weapon, but it was all I had.  I took it and, though I hadn't planned to, I slipped the wings and their harness off my back and slipped it around Lisa's shoulders.  They were so light I'd almost totally forgotten they were there.  Lisa frowned and started to try and give them back, but I shushed her and pointed to the wall.  With a disapproving glare she knelt and scooped up the mace in both arms.  She looked ridiculously small holding it and for a nano I started to think our plan was totally hopeless, that there was no way she could possibly use it effectively.  But she was actually taller than I was and probably weighed as much or more and it didn't matter anyways – we were committed now, like it or not.  It was this or infection.  

Lisa walked over to the gap in the wall and slipped through into the other passageway.  She turned to look at me and smiled, and I had a horrible thought that this might be the last time I ever saw her face.  I banished it as quickly as I could – the User was still out there, moving back across to our left again.  I took one last look at her and stored the image of her beautiful face in my mind forever.  I closed my eyes and in the darkness I felt the walls move and the gap close, and when I opened them all I saw was a wall of green.

I could feel the User there, sense him right on the far side of the opposite wall.  His energy was totally different from Zip or Calisto, maybe because the infection was stronger in him or maybe because he was a User and not a sprite.  I couldn't help but be afraid, sensing him there, knowing that in a few nanos I'd be facing him and maybe my own deletion.

I didn't have to wait long.  I backed away into a corner, something I'd normally never do when someone bigger –and who _isn't_ bigger, crash it all – was coming after me.  But I wanted Theseus to have to come at me, to leave the center of the chamber and have to turn to face me.  There didn't seem to be much chance there'd be enough time for Lisa to do anything – but maybe, at least, she'd have a chance to get away after I was infected.  The gap in the wall would still be there and she had the wings…

There was a little stab of pain in my processor, as if the energy from the User was spiking, and a flash of reflected moonlight appeared in the air above the wall of the passageway.  The User landed unsteadily near the center of the chamber, and it was shockingly loud – a thunderous crash of weight onto the ground, a clanking of iron as his sword and shield rattled against each other.  He wasn't graceful, but he more than made up for it by being big.  And User, was he big.

I backed away into my corner, holding the puny gold child out in front of me and listening to my heart thumping in my chest.  A stray thought popped into my head  - _This isn't fair!  I'm too young to be infected!_  It wasn't what I wanted to be thinking but that's how stray thoughts are.  The User took a nano to get his bearings, looking around him.  His Theseus body was amazing – he was tall and broad-shouldered with huge muscles, shaggy hair and a thick black beard.  He would have looked heroic if it weren't for the sickening green glow at his neck.

Once the User focused his eyes on me he took a step closer, eyes darting around the sealed-off passageway.  I've never been more afraid in my life – not even the first time I faced off against an infected User.  Maybe I was too young to know better then, but that had still felt like a game in a lot of ways.  An adventure.  Now all I could think about was how much I didn't want to delete, and how strange oblivion must feel.  The User took another step, not removing his sword from its scabbard.  "Two."

"What?" I rasped, my voice sounding high and thin and scared.

"There were two."  He smiled a cold smile and advanced.

"She's where you'll never find her." I said as defiantly as I could.  "She'll tell everyone what's happened when this game is over, and they'll delete us before we can infect anyone else.  You'll lose."

"She will join us before the game ends."

"No!  She has the wings, now – you'll never catch her."

The User hesitated, and I could see that he was thinking or trying to talk to the others, or something.  The memory of the wings was in there – as the User, he'd know about them.  He scowled and advanced on me.  "So be it.  By the Gods, she will be found."

I slid a couple of steps along the back wall, trying to get Theseus pointed away from the left side of the passageway.  I'd never tried to change the maze without closing my eyes and concentrating before, but I knew if I did that it'd tip him off.  It was incredibly hard trying to do it with my eyes open – everything I saw distracted me and scattered my concentration – and I gasped and felt my face scrunch up but I figured the User would just figure it was from fear.  "You'll never get her.  Never!"

"Why do you resist?  It is pointless.  My Lady's will is all-powerful." I wasn't even sure if I'd managed to open a gap in the wall but the User was so close now and so big that he blocked my whole field of vision.  He raised his arm and reached for my neck.  

I fell to my knees and my throat tightened up and I was terrified, but my arms remembered how to work and I flung the gold child at him from close range and he was forced to stop and raise his shield quickly.  It skimmed of the shield and clipped the side of his head loudly and he gasped and staggered back, blood dripping from a small cut above his ear.  It took him just a nano to get his balance, then he smiled and reached for me again.

"No!  Please!" I squeaked, wanting not to delete more than I've ever wanted anything in my life.  I cowered and made myself as small as possible and then there was a loud "thunk" and Theseus' eyes opened wide and he fell.  Right on top of me.  I closed my eyes and wondered what infection would feel like.

After a nano had passed and I didn't feel any different I opened my eyes and the User's face was close to mine, screwed up in pain.  I was so close to the corner that he'd fallen against the walls and never touched me.  I saw blood dripping from a huge hole in his right side and scrambled out from under him.  There was a loud slap as he reached for my ankle and missed and his hand slammed into the ground.  I pushed myself to my feet and I saw Lisa reaching for the mace on the ground and I took a step backwards and tripped over the gold child and fell on my bitmap.  My ankle twisted under me and I howled as a sharp pain shot up to my processor.

The User staggered to his feet just as Lisa scooped up the mace and he reached for her, just as she was trying to draw the huge weight back for another swing.  I grabbed the gold child and whipped it and it clanked off his face and he teetered again, and then there was a snapping noise as the mace shattered his left leg, just below the knee, and he screamed and went down like a directory tree, right between me and Lisa.

Our eyes made contact just for a nano and I could see hers' shining with fear and excitement, and then the User tried to push himself up and Lisa and I dove back.  His leg buckled and he fell again, growling and reaching for her.  His huge bulk was between her and the mace, now, and I did the only thing I could think of and yelled to get his attention.  "Leave her alone!"

His head swiveled to face me and his blood was everywhere and his leg was twisted at an angle I've never seen one twisted before.  But he wasn't deleted and the pain wasn't enough to totally shut him down.  I picked up the gold child and whipped it at him again and he raised his arms to fend it off, and Lisa chose that nano to dive over him and grab for the mace.  He snarled and twisted himself to reach for her, and I saw the hilt of his sword pointing towards me. It was in his scabbard, not touching his body, so I took a chance and reached for it, not knowing what would happen.

My skin touched the metal and I didn't _feel_ infected – or any different at all – so I yanked it free.  It was lighter than the mace but still deleted heavy, and the blade was almost as long as I was.  Lisa had managed to grab the mace and she was trying to grip it properly while staggering backwards as the User crawled after her, and she was having a hard time.  Not only that, she was running out of room, backing herself into the same corner that I'd been trapped in.

My ankle was throbbing and I could barely stand, but I pushed myself upright and hopped towards them.  I knew I wouldn't be able to thrust with the sword and still let go of it before it touched the User, so I lifted it as high as I could and swung it like an axe and screamed as loud as my throat would scream and released it as it sliced into his arm and there was _more_ blood.  Some games are more realistic than others and unfortunately this was one of the realistic ones.  I _hate_ all that blood and stuff – I'll never get used to it.

The User gasped and writhed and looked first amazed, then angry.  "You will serve her or die!"

"That's what _you_ think!"  Lisa had used the nanos the chop from the sword had given her and she had the mace poised over her head, her eyes dark and burning and her jaw set.  "You leave my Enzo alone!"  I turned away as the mace made contact with The User's skull and felt a shudder go through me as the game cube shimmered and danced with energy.

"GAME OVER"

I dropped to my knees, totally exhausted.  Lisa had fallen forward from the momentum from her last swing of the mace and she was sprawled on the ground, motionless.  I screamed her name and I was terrified for a nano that she was hurt or infected, but she was just worn out like I was – she looked up at me and her eyes were clear and bright and her hair was golden again and she smiled.  We crawled towards each other and she fell against me.  "Enzo!"

"Are you OK?  Are you OK?"

"Yes.  Yes, I'm fine." She panted.  "You're not hurt?"

"No.  Just my foot, I'm OK." She buried her face in my shoulder and I kissed her head and squeezed her tight enough to break her ribs, and I felt so happy to be alive that I though I might pop right there.  "Oh User, Lisa.  You're really OK?"

"I'm fine, Sweetie.  I thought I'd lost you, when he fell on you-"

"I know. Oh, User…"

"Enzo…  I really thought I'd lost you.  If anything had happened to you-"

"I know."  I held her face in my hands and just stared at her, amazed and relieved and exhausted and trying not to lose it completely.  "You saved me."

"We saved each other."  She smiled and kissed me and I kissed her back.  I never wanted that nano to end and spammit, we _deserved_ not to have it end – hadn't we done enough that cycle?  But my processor sort of kicked and sputtered back to life and I remembered that Zip and Calisto were still infected and the pain in my leg came back like an awful memory.

"Shit." I whispered.  I could see a form coming towards us down the hillside.  I opened a vidwindow and I couldn't even remember anyone's IP address so I just opened a general one and half-shouted into it.  "Help!  We…  The game cube was infected and there are infected sprites at the Academy.  We need help immediately!"

Calisto strode towards us and Lisa and I stumbled to our feet.  We backed away from him and I could see the green pulse from his neck glowing in the darkness.  Lisa fiddled with her ring nervously.  "You turned out to be a real pain in the ascii, Infant."

"It's over, Calisto.  There's teachers and uninfected cadets all over this place – if you don't give up they'll delete you."

"They'll all serve our Lady." Calisto sneered.  That sneer, at least, hadn't changed.

Problem was, Lisa and I didn't have any weapons now that we were out of the game – we were defenseless. We turned to run but I could barely walk, much less run, and even though Lisa tried to help me, with my weight leaning on her we were way too slow.  And there was no sign of anyone coming to help us yet.

I managed to pull out my zip board and Lisa pulled out hers and we started away, only to see Zip stumbling towards us.  I'll never forget the sight – the whole left side of his body was dark red with blood and his arm was hanging loosely from his shoulder.  His face was all screwed up tight, and there was almost no color to it – the pain must have been unbelievable but somehow Daemon's infection wouldn't let him collapse.  I knew he'd delete soon if he didn't get to a hospital.

That wasn't our biggest problem right then, though – he was still coming, straight towards us, and between he and Calisto they had us pinned back against the boys' dorm building.  "This ends now, Sprout." Zip snarled, advancing closer.

"Byte me!"  I threw myself in front of Lisa but she wouldn't have any of that – she wrestled her way next to me and on one leg there was nothing I could do to stop her.

"You're going to die, you know." She said in a calm voice.  "You'll bleed to death."

"It's not important."  Zip's voice was ragged and strained.  "I'd enjoy deleting the two of you, but unfortunately you're needed.  You don't deserve to receive our Lady into you – but you will."

"Lisa was right – you _are_ still a pig."  The thought that entered my mind was how pointless and stupid it was to be infected _now_, after surviving the game.  I put my arms around her and coiled myself as well as I could, thinking about one last try to escape even though I knew we were hopelessly trapped.

Then a bunch of things happened.

First of all, there was a flash of movement to our right and Calisto went tumbling to the ground, and the rest of us spun to see what'd happened.  I caught a glimpse of blond hair and saw Ray swooping around and coming back towards us.  He headed straight for Zip.  "You kids all right?  User, Mate – what happened to your arm?"

"Look out!" I shouted.  "He's infected!"  Ray veered off but Zip reached out with his good arm and knocked it into Ray's board, and both of them went tumbling head over heels to the ground.  Zip rolled down the hill and was motionless - Ray lay still for a nano or two, then slowly lifted his head, looking dazed.

The next thing that happened was that, like in slow motion, I saw Calisto appear just behind Ray.  I screamed "No!" as loud as I could and Ray started to turn, but then Calisto's hands were on his neck and he struggled for a nano, and was still.  And when Calisto moved his hands, Ray's neck was pulsing with green light.  "Ray!  No!"

I heard Lisa gasp "Oh, my User!" next to me and I felt totally stunned and defeated, like all the fight had been drained out of me.  Ray was infected.  Then I felt Lisa's hand around mine and I saw Ray and Calisto moving towards us and I leaned against her and got ready to jump in front or her.  Or something.  Anything.

The next thing that happened was a flash of very, very bright light that made me shield my eyes with my arm.  Then what looked like a sort of rip – not a tear, but something very neat and well-defined – opened up in the air itself, and a man stepped through.  But not like any other man I'd ever seen.  He was tall, muscular and dressed in what looked like ultra high-tech silver armor.  His hair was a brilliant gold, short-cropped, and his eyes were jet black.  Where his icon should have been, on his chest, was a brilliant blue-black stone that emitted a light from its center.  And he was holding a long, shiny staff, with a jeweled tip.  Even though I'd never seen one before, I knew exactly what it was.

A Gibson-Coil Pike. 


	24. Fathers' Cycle

"Daddy." Lisa said, simply.  Just that one word.

"Why did you summon me, Little One?"  His flinty eyes were almost soft when he looked at her, but when he turned and saw Ray and Calisto, they went hard and cold.  "Virals!  Interesting…"

"What is it?" Calisto rasped.  

"Codemaster." Ray frowned.  "A Codemaster – here?  Impossible!"

"Nothing is impossible for a Codemaster, Virus."  The gold-haired man stepped between us and the others and turned back to Lisa.  "Are you all right, Child?  Are you injured?"

"No, Daddy." Lisa said softly.  Her father reached out to her and she gave him her hand, silently.  "The game we were in was infected, Daddy.  Enzo saved my life."

The Codemaster turned his black eyes on me and I felt about as tiny as a null.  He looked me up and down for a nano.  "Indeed.  If that is true, you have my gratitude, Boy.  You were wise to call me, My Lisa – these viral scum are the product of Daemon, and she is not to be trifled with."

"_You_ know about Daemon?" I gasped.

"Even the web is not free of her filthy infection.  The sooner she is eradicated the better."

"You can't stop her, Mate!" Ray spat.  "Not you or your pathetic society."

"The ways of viruses are not my concern, nor the concern of any of the Seventh Brotherhood." The Codemaster laughed.  "Not unless they are so foolish as to anger us.  You have threatened the daughter of Avatar the Doom-Bringer – and that makes me very angry.  It will be your last mistake."  He raised his pike, and the others took a step towards us.

"Daddy, Wait!  You can't delete them!"

"They are viral scum, Child-"

"It's not their fault they were infected, Daddy – you can't!  Ray is our friend – he was infected trying to help us!"

Avatar looked at her for a nano, then sighed.  "Very well, Child – I will consider."  He raised his pike casually, and Ray and Calisto were swallowed up in some sort of shimmering silver casing.

"What's _that_?"

"A stasis field." Lisa said softly.  "Thank you, Daddy."

Avatar left Ray and Calisto suspended in their cocoon and turned to us.  He put a hand on Lisa's cheek gently.  "You have grown, My Lisa."

"It's been four hours."

"You are certain you are well, Child?  The virals have not damaged you?"

"I'm fine.  Just a little scared…"

He turned to me.  "And who is this youngling who _saved_ your life, as you say?"

"Uh…"

"This is Enzo, Daddy." Lisa squeezed my hand.  "He's my friend.  He's very smart and very brave and he _did_ save my life in that game."

Avatar chuckled.  "He doesn't look like much, does he?"

"Daddy!"

"She was the one who saved _my_ life, Sir." I said when I could finally get my voice to work.  "She's amazing."

"She is my daughter."  He lifted Lisa in his arms as easily as I'd lifted the golden child in the game.  "Why have you waited so long to call me, Little One?  Are you not bored with the ways of sprites yet?"

"_I'm_ a sprite.  This is my home, Father."

"Will you refuse me again?  Will you not return to the web?"

"No!" I blurted out.  Avatar shot me a glare and I nearly peed myself.

"No, Daddy.  I don't want to live in the web.  Not even with you."

"Foolish Child."  He looked angry, but he was still very gentle when he set Lisa down.  "You know nothing of what you turn your back on.  Such power-"

"I don't want it!" Lisa scowled.  "You could stay, you know.  You don't have to go back to the web.  You can help us fight Daemon!  You could come back to Wozniak-"

"Laughable!  I cannot, Child – you know this.  No more than I can force you to come with me."  He looked up, towards the great hall, where several more sprites were coming towards us on zip boards.  "Ah, they come – scurrying like software bugs.  I think perhaps it is time for me to leave – to stay would surely involve tedium of the highest order."

"I'll miss you." Lisa said softly.

Avatar smiled for the first time.  "I will always come when you call, Daughter.  And I will always hope you change your mind.  I never give up, and I am very patient."

"Good-bye."

"Farewell, Daughter."  Avatar glanced at me and I thought about offering him my hand, then decided against it.  

"I wish you could stay for once." Lisa said, so softly I almost couldn't hear her.

It was only then that it occurred to me just what the implications of Avatar's presence were.  Lisa's secret was out now, most likely – even if Zip or Calisto didn't spill the java beans there's be some serious explaining to do.  Codemasters didn't just walk through the door at nanos of crisis and save the day for the fun of it.  Did I want to stay at the Academy without Lisa?  But it wasn't like I could follow her home, either – and no one would believe we were really in love.  We had no control over our own lives.  Crash – sometimes I really hate being a kid!

Of course I was getting way ahead of myself anyway – once everything settled down Lisa would probably think about what I'd done and she wouldn't cross the street to spit on me.  And we were both lucky to be alive, besides.  You can't help what enters your mind sometimes, though.  And that's what I thought about as I watched her say good-bye to her Dad.

I'd never seen a Codemaster before – well, not counting Mr. Pearson – and it was weird to think that "Avatar the Doom-Bringer" was my girlfriend's Dad.  As scary and intimidating as he was, he was gentle with her.  Like a father.  He knelt next to her and lightly touched her face.  "You know I cannot stay any longer, Child.  My presence here will only complicate things further for you."

"I know, Daddy." Lisa sighed, running her fingers over his smooth skin.  "Thank you for saving us."

"You are certain you would not like me to atomize these virals?"

"_No_, Daddy!  I told you – this isn't their fault.  It's not fair to delete them for being infected."

Avatar didn't look happy.  The others were almost on us, now – I saw Laser and Mouse among a group of teachers.  "I leave them to your friends to sort and file, then – and good fortune to them."  He straightened, tall and powerful.  "One cycle you will return to the web with me, My Lisa – it is certain.  You cannot deny yourself forever."

"If you say so, Dad.   I'll miss you."

"Farewell, Child."  Avatar opened another rip in the air with his pike, like he was pulling down the zipper on a jacket.

I looked at Lisa and saw a tear on her cheek as her Dad took a step into the portal, or whatever it was that Codemasters used to travel the web.  I started to go to her, just to put my arm around her or comfort her or whatever – and that's when I saw the hand.  It was covered in blood, and shaking, and of course when I followed it backwards I saw it was attached to the arm that was attached to Zip – barely.  And it was reaching for Lisa.

No one else saw it – just me.  And even though the hand was moving pretty slow I could see there wasn't time to warn Lisa – the bloody fingertips were practically touching her elbow already.  I felt really calm, surprisingly – when I think about it now I figure I should have been terrified or panicky or whatever – but I wasn't.  I did the only thing I could think of – well, that's probably giving myself too much credit 'cause there was no time to really _think_ of anything.  Probably it's better to say I _reacted_ the only way I could – I shot my arm out and grabbed the hand before it could touch Lisa.

There was just a nano of feeling disgusted by the slick feeling of the bloody hand, and then a kind of shock, a buzzing on my skin like software bugs were crawling over it and sinking their tiny little teeth into it, and at the same time the sound a scream building in Lisa's throat.  And then nothing – not a thought or even a dream, just total black emptiness.  Exactly what death must feel like.

The next thing I remember is being cold.  I remember feeling myself shivering and someone pulling a blanket up over me and even though there was absolutely nothing in between that cold feeling and the black emptiness which was the only thing I remembered at first, I knew some time had passed, maybe a lot.  I'm still not sure _how_ I knew that – how I sensed the passage of time when I wasn't sensing _anything_.  But I did.

There were a few nanos when I felt really fuzzy and stupid, then everything started to come back to me in a rush and I opened my eyes.  Everything was _way_ too bright and I brought my hand up to shield my eyes and I was breathing heavily, and someone was telling me to take it easy, everything was fine.  After a nano I recognized the voice.  "Laser?"

"Calm down, Son.  Take it nice and slow."

I slowly uncovered my eyes and blinked, trying to adjust to the light in the room.  I was in a bed in a room I didn't recognize and Laser was sitting in a chair next to me, arms folded.  "What…  What happened, Sir?"

"Quite a few things, actually." He smiled.  "But you're safe now."

"Lisa!  Omigosh, is she-"

"Lisa is fine!"  Laser gently pushed me back down in bed and my heart was beating a million times a nano.  "But _you_ won't be if you get yourself worked up. You've been through quite a bit.  Now relax – that's an order!"

"Yes, Sir." I rasped.  My panic was receding a little but I still wasn't quite ready to believe everything was fine.  "Is she really OK?"

"She is.  Thanks mostly to you, I might add.  You saved her from infection."

Saved her…  But not _me_ – obviously.  "Where am I?"

"The infirmary."

"How long-"

"Just a couple of cycles."

"A couple of _cycles_?"  Crash – that was an awful lot of my life to be missing.  I was only 1.3.

"As I said – you've been through quite a bit."  Laser put one of his calloused hands on my forehead softly.  "We had to take things slowly – not take any risks.  A couple of cycles don't mean much, in the larger scale of things.  When you're older you'll understand."

I could sense that this was one of those times when Laser was my grandfather more than my Headmaster.  I grabbed his arm and pulled myself to a sitting position.  "What happened?  Was I…  Was I, you know… infected?"

Laser stared at me and stroked my forehead with his thumb, like he had in his office.  "In a way, yes.  But Avatar spared you from the worst of it."

"Avatar?  Really?  How?"

Laser chuckled wearily.  "Have you ever heard of a Ultra Near-Field Time Lock Mechanism?"  I guess I looked pretty dumb, because he chuckled again.  "I'm not surprised – you don't run across one every cycle.  The only way to generate one – or dispel one, for that matter – is with a Gibson-Coil Pike."

"Gibson-Coil?" I rasped. "Lisa's-  Uh – I mean…"

"I know who he is, Lad.  A UNFTLM is a total time lock – a perfect stasis field, like an absolute vacuum in time.  As soon as you touched the infected cadet he encased your entire body in one."

"Dude – really?"  Damn – I'd called the headmaster "Dude" again…

"Yes.  Very quick thinking on his part – not entirely surprising, given the processor speed Codemasters run at - but quick nonetheless.   Not even Daemon's infection can process in the absence of time, so he effectively froze it before it had a chance to reach your processor.  It was confined to your arm – to just below your right elbow, as it happens."

"Cursors and crashes!"  I stared at my arm but there was absolutely no sign that anything unusual had happened to it.  "That's amazing!"

Laser tousled my hair softly.  "You should feel honored, Son – Codemasters are loathe to involve themselves in the ways of sprites.  But then I suppose Avatar has already showed himself an odd Codemaster. It was the pleadings of your girlfriend, I suppose."

"My…  My girlfriend?"  Laser really wasn't supposed to know about that.  "How-"

"Enzo, I'm not basic.  Nor is my faculty.  It's been obvious for some time that you and Lisa are… fond of each other.  When two cadets are constantly holding hands that's usually a fairly reliable indicator."

"Oh."  I felt myself go red as Mouse's hair.  "Am I in trouble?"

"We have rules, Enzo – but we don't have rules against sprites being sprites.  I'm not so naïve as to think we can throw a hundred teenagers together and no hearts will go a-flutter.  As long as you don't cross certain boundaries and your studies don't suffer I won't consider it an issue."  Laser smiled at me.  "You did surprise me, though – you're so young!  Or so I thought – but old enough to feel the pull of the heart, I suppose."

I returned his smile.  Whenever Laser showed me the little bits of Bob he hid inside it made me feel closer to him.  "Thanks."

"She's a remarkable girl.  She refused to let her father leave while you were still in danger – she begged and pleaded with him to stay and care for you.  As I said, the only way a UNFTLM can be removed is with a Gibson-Coil – and once it was removed the infection would spread throughout your entire body.  We had to remove the time-lock from only the infected arm – which was a ticklish thing in itself.  And it was no easy task to convince Avatar to remain here while we debated your treatment."

"Crash." I whispered.  "How'd you finally get rid of the infection?"

"Simple enough, really.  We ran the code in your arm through a series of filters until we were satisfied it was clean.  Than we did it again, just to be sure.  Treatment is a whole lot easier when the processor isn't infected.  After that we removed the time-lock and waited for you to come around.  That took several milliseconds.  The time-lock slowed your healing from that sprained ankle of yours, but it should be fine in a few cycles."

My head was spinning from all this information and there were a million questions I wanted to ask, but at that nano one pushed all the others out.  "Oh User!  What about Ray?  Is he…"

"We're doing what we can."  Laser sighed and patted my arm.  "Ray and the others are in containment fields now.  We have options – not without risk, but options.  Don't concern yourself – they'll get the best possible treatment."

"Just tell me Sir – please.  It's kinda my fault Ray was infected.  I need to know what's gonna happen!"

"How is it _your_ fault, Cadet?"

"I sent out the distress call.  That's why he came…"

"Don't be stupid." Laser snorted.  "If it weren't for you two kids the entire Academy might be infected now.  Lisa told me all about your trials in that game."

"But-"

"But _nothing_.  You did what you had to do – and so did Ray.  His job is the protection of the Academy and the students – he was the first one to respond, that's all.  He'll pull through this.  Besides, if this…  If it's anyone's fault it's mine."

"Sir?"

Laser took a deep breath and all of a sudden he looked really old and tired, like he sometimes did.   "I'm very proud of both of you, Cadet – you were placed in a seemingly hopeless situation and you managed to survive it through bravery and ingenuity.  I should expect it from you by now…  But I'm still proud."

"Um…  Thanks.  I-"

"Wait."  He forced a strained smile.  "Enzo, its no one's fault that game cube was infected – there's no technology at anyone's disposal that could have predicted it.  But it _is_ my fault that Lisa and yourself were placed in the danger you were, regardless of the infection.  You could both have been deleted.  I want you to know that I'm very sorry."

Even as bewildering as the last few micros – well, cycles really - had been, this had me truly confused.  "I don't understand, Sir.  Why are _you_ sorry?"

"Enzo…"  Laser ran a hand across his brow and looked away from me, towards the door.  "It's due to my carelessness that Cadet Jobs and yourself were in that game with sprites who were capable of such savagery.  It's entirely my fault that you had to suffer like that."

"What?  Why?"

"To begin with, Son, I had no idea that Zip and Calisto were as far gone as they were.  I didn't think their behavior would extend beyond schoolboy pranks and an occasional fistfight.  I thought they were salvageable, spammit!"

How much did he know?  I wasn't sure if Laser knew about Zip and Calisto's plans for Lisa, but it didn't seem like _my_ place to tell him if he wasn't.  Only Lisa had that right.  "It's not your fault – you didn't know-"

"It _is_ my fault.  I underestimated Zip.  In many ways, I'm afraid.  He was more ruthless and brutal than I imagined.  And much more clever as well."

"Clever, Sir?"

"He engineered the whole thing, Enzo." Laser sighed.  "Getting you and Lisa into that game with he and Calisto – that was his plan all along."

"_His _plan?"

"You don't think I'd have intentionally sent you into a game with _both_ of them after what happened, do you?"

"I…  I wasn't sure.  I thought it could be a test or something…"

"A test?" Laser laughed bitterly.  "Some test!  You were tested all right – no child should have to endure a test like that.  No, Son – he doctored the game rosters – hacked into the central computer and manipulated them.  It was ingenious, the young bastard."

In a strange way, I actually felt better knowing Laser hadn't set me up.  "Sir, it was my fault – I should have said something-"

"No it wasn't, Boy – it wasn't your place to question orders.  It should never have been allowed to happen in the first place."

"I still don't _get_ it, Sir.  How did he do it?  Where was Mr. Garamond?"

"Like I said – Zip was very clever.  He intercepted the rosters before they were sent out, changed them.  He sent Garamond a roster showing Ray Tracer going into the game with you, and sent Ray one with Garamond's name on it.  And the rosters that went out to the staff showed the cadets with their original assignments – only the students saw the one you did.  And no one put two and two together and came up with four."

"Wow." I whispered.  The most amazing thing was that Zip would go to all that trouble just to humiliate _me _- and I hadn't even really _done_ anything to him!   "That's…  It's unbelievable.  I knew he was smarter than Calisto, but-"

"It was a good plan.  He's a clever little hacker too, the worthless null – but I can promise you this sort of thing will never be repeated.  We were complacent, and it's my fault.  I've asked Mouse to make sure this never happens again."  Laser finally looked back at me and grabbed my hands.  "I'm sorry, Cadet – sorrier than you'll ever know.  This was a failure of the highest order."

"No it wasn't!  You couldn't have known he would do that, Sir.  No one could."  He really looked tired and old and helpless then, and I felt terrible for him.

"You're a good boy, Enzo.  A good boy…"

"Sir, I still don't understand _why_.  Why did Zip do all this?  I never did anything to him – I only punched him after he tried to beat me up!  And after that I just tried to stay out of his way."

"I know, Enzo – you don't have to convince _me_."

"I just don't understand _why_." I scowled.

"Don't obsess over it.  Some questions don't have easy answers.  I think he was jealous of your experiences, Son – your time with Bob, Mouse, Ray…  Perhaps he knew you and I are…  Related.  And sometimes people can't look past what they _see_ of a person at first glance – and he saw someone small and young and innocent and couldn't believe that person earned his way in here on his merits."

"_My_ experiences?  I wonder how he'd like having no parents and being a backup and growing up with no friends!"

"I know." Laser said softly.  "Sometimes people have dark places inside them we don't see.  I didn't see that the dark places were all there _was_ to Zip, in the end."

My little burst of anger had made me tired for a nano, and I had to lean back and close my eyes.  "What will happen to him now, Sir?  I mean, if…  You know."

"He'll get the best treatment we can give him.  They both will.  We've already repaired the damage to Zip's arm as best we can – if he recovers it will heal, more or less.  Hopefully we'll be able to cure their infection – but even if we do, they'll both be expelled, I can promise you."

I opened my eyes and felt a little thrill to hear that.  "Definitely?"

Laser nodded.  "Even if it were all there was, their manipulation of the game rosters would be sufficient grounds for that – they placed themselves and two other cadets in danger by sending them into a game unsupervised.  We'll send them back to their home systems – where both of them will face charges of attempted rape."

I heard a little gasp escape my chest. "You _know_?"

"Yes.  Lisa told me – she didn't want those two to go unpunished for what they tried to do."  Laser's face hardened and he sighed grimly, eyes shining.  "That's the most shameful thing of all – that a cadet at this academy was subjected to that kind of degradation.  I'm sorry you had to witness it, Son – but I'm glad for Lisa's sake you were there.  She's a remarkably strong child – you both are.  Remarkable children.  Remarkable…"

"Will…  Will Lisa have to leave, Sir?"  I said it in a choked little voice.

Laser's eyes were wet, and now they widened in surprise.  "What?"

"You know – because of her father.  _Please_ let her stay, Sir!  I know it's against the rules but she's _not_ a Codemaster and-"

"Enzo-"

"I'll delete if she goes, Sir!  She's so amazing, and-"

"Calm _down_, Son.  That's an order!"

I took a few deep breaths.  "S-sorry, Sir."

Laser smiled like he was relieved to have the subject changed.  "You really are in love with her, aren't you?"

"S-sir?"

"Enzo, listen to me for a micro.  There are no written rules in place that a Codemaster can't be a Guardian.  But there _are_ things we have to consider – risks.  A full Codemaster has certain _abilities…_ Which might prove troublesome when combined with the Guardian protocols.  And there's the matter of philosophy – the ideals of the Collective ran directly counter with the tenets of Codemaster societies."

"But Sir, _please_-"

"Hush up, Boy!" Laser said sternly.  I closed my mouth and looked down.  "I know this is an emotional issue for you, but when a superior officer is addressing you interruption is against the rules.  Got it?"

"Got it, Sir.  Sorry."

"Good."  He tousled my hair and I heard him laughing softly.  "We'll let it slide this time.  The reason I'm telling you this is so that you'll understand what a complex situation we're dealing with.  Lisa isn't a full Codemaster, and she's expressed no interest in becoming one.  She wants to be a Guardian, and her conduct thus far has been exemplary, and under the worst circumstances possible."  I looked up, hope starting to build, but I didn't dare interrupt him again.

"It would seem unfair of me to send her home now – she's been the victim in all this.  And since we never expressly asked her if her father was Codemaster, she never expressly lied to us – although withholding that information is of dubious ethical stature.  In any case, life isn't fair, not most of the time – so that couldn't be my final barometer.  I decided to let Galileo decide."

I stared at Laser's forearm.  "Galileo, Sir?  Your…  Your keytool?"

"That's right.  Galileo is linked to me and will be until I'm deleted or infected, so it's not a perfect test – but I gave him the opportunity to reject her, if he so chose.  Keytools are wise, Enzo – wiser than we are in most ways."

I could barely get my voice to work.  "What…  What happened?"

"Other than her initial nervousness at using a keytool, not much.  Galileo merged his code with hers and did not reject her.  Based on that, and her demonstrated bravery and loyalty, she'll be staying."

"Alphanumeric!"  I was so happy I bounced up and threw my arms around Laser's neck, which would have horrified me if I'd taken a nano to think about it.  He stiffened for a nano, then softly patted my back.  Then I _did_ think about and I fell back in bed and I _was_ horrified.  "Sorry Sir!"

There was a glint of a smile in Laser's eyes.  "Don't concern yourself, Son.  Understandable in the circumstances."

"Sorry."  I was almost able to keep a smile off my face, but not quite.  "I'm just very relieved, Sir.  Cadet Jobs has become very important to me."

"I know.  She's a courageous young lady – I know she'll get through this, but what happened to her was very traumatic.  Try and understand that, Enzo – she'll need you to help her as much as you can."

"I will.  I promise!"

"Good lad." Laser smiled.

"Make…  Make sure Ray gets better, OK?"

"I have faith in my people, Enzo.  We'll find a way, I'm sure of it."

"Please."  Ray's infection was the one big cloud that kept me from feeling totally happy.  "Is the Academy safe?  We're OK here, aren't we?"

"I believe so.  We don't really understand how the communication between Daemon and these infected sprites works – if there even _is_ any real-time communication.  Her infection may simply execute a stream of pre-written commands to control their behavior.  But it's also possible that they _can_ communicate, somehow – we know they can communicate with each other, locally."

I gulped.  "So Daemon might know where we are?"

"Possibly." Laser said softly.  "None of the cadets were given the address of this system – Mouse sends scrambled commands to their navigation systems when they come here.  Ray is another matter.  But even if Daemon _does_ know, there's nothing she can do about it.  Mouse's algorhithms have turned the tide – Daemon hasn't successfully infected a protected system in the last hour.  And this is the most heavily protected system in the net."

"Good."

"Good."  Laser patted my hand softly.  "We've talked too long – you need to rest, now.  You've had a difficult minute.  And I need to let Dot and Bob know you're all right."

"Dot?"  My heart spontaneously leaped about halfway up my throat.  "She knows what happened?"

"I had to tell her, Enzo – she's your Guardian.  I had a responsibility."

"Oh."  I closed my eyes and suddenly felt very tired.  "It's just – I know Dot, and-  Well…"

"She had to know, Son.  I couldn't keep this from her.  But she'll also know that you're safe, now – and how well protected the Academy is."

"I know.  It'll be all right."  I wasn't sure I believed that, but I wanted to.

"You'll have a lot to talk about when you see her next minute."

"Next minute?"  Crash – the school break!  "Has it been six minutes already?"

"Almost, Son – six eventful ones.  I'm sure she'll be glad to see you."

"Oh, yeah!  I'll be glad to see her, too!  And Bob, and Frisket, and Matrix and Andri…"  User, I'd forgotten how much I missed them – all of them.  Suddenly Dot's absence was an aching hole in my gut again.

Laser chuckled.  "Get some more sleep – you need it.  I'll let Dot know you've pulled through.  She'll be very relieved, I'm sure."

"Uh, Sir?  You didn't, um, tell Dot about Lisa, did you?"

He looked confused for a nano, then smiled.  "I didn't tell her that you two were – well…  No – only that you were in the game together."

"Thanks." I sighed.  "Would you mind not mentioning it?"

"I doubt it will come up in conversation."

"Thank you, Sir!  Can I see her - Lisa?"

"Later.  It was hard enough to get her out of this room so the med-techs could do their jobs – she didn't want to go.  And she and your roommate have been pestering us to see you ever since.  We'll have the M.T.s check you out and if you're cleared, you can go back to the dorm."

"Please, Sir – couldn't I see her now?"  There was one more big doubt still hanging over me, and I couldn't wait to have it resolved.

"Later, Cadet.  After you're cleared."

"_Please, _Sir?  Please?  I won't be able to sleep until we talk.  There's…  There's stuff we need to say."

Laser scowled at me and I wilted just a little, I couldn't help it.  When Laser wanted to look stern he was _very_ good at it.  But he softened back up – I think he felt sorry for me.  "I'm getting weak in my old age.  All right, Boy – I'll let her know you're awake and you can have a few micros.  But just a few, got it?"  He winked.  "And take it easy on the kissing, too – you're still recovering!"

"Yessir."  I was as red as it was possible for a green sprite to be, but at least I'd be seeing Lisa.  "Sorry."

"I'll send her in."  Laser started to stand and head for the door.

"Sir?"  He turned back to me and stared, expectantly.  "Uh…"

"What is it, Cadet?"

"Just – please don't feel bad about what happened, OK?  It wasn't your fault.  You're a great Headmaster and everything and I-"

"Enough." Laser sighed.  "I appreciate that, Enzo.  I'm going to have to live with this as best I can – it's myself I have to answer to.  I've gotten quite used to it."

"OK.  But I meant it.  And thank you – for everything."   I know it wasn't regulation but I leaned over and hugged my arms around his neck.  "Thanks."

"Enzo-"

"You're not supposed to care more about me than the other kids, but I know you do.  It's OK - I promise I won't tell anyone."  It was pretty stupid to say something like that to my Headmaster, but somehow that just didn't seem important after what I'd just been through.  _Not_ saying anything seemed a whole lot worse.  "Not even Bob."

"I…"  He didn't say anything for a few long nanos, just kind of sat there.  Then his arms were around me and he was hugging me back.  "I hope Bob realizes what a lucky man he is."

"Yeah.  He has a great Dad."

"Enzo, you don't know.  You weren't there-"

"No – don't."  I didn't want him to say anything else – I knew how he felt about himself as a father but I didn't want to hear it.  The only Laser _I_ knew was the one who was hugging me right then and there.  

He didn't try and argue with me – we hugged for a few nanos and then he lowered me back to the bed, smiling ruefully.  "If people know, Cadet…  It'll just make things worse around here for both of us."

"Yes, Sir.  I'll never say a word."

He stared at me for a moment, then chuckled and tousled my hair.  "All right, Kiddo - it'll be our secret.  And you've certainly earned my trust."

"Yessir.  Thanks."

"You're welcome, Son.  You relax, now – I'll send Cadet Jobs in and after that you can have a rest before the med-techs examine you."  I squeezed his hand and he left with a wave, then I settled myself down to wait for Lisa.  


	25. Reunions

My whole processor was buzzing with everything that had happened and everything that _would_ happen.  I was alive, and in an incredibly cool way, too – infected, frozen, and cured.  Pixelacious!  Lisa was OK, and she'd be staying.  I'd be seeing Dot next minute.  That was all alphanumeric.  But Dot might not let me come back.  And Ray – Ray was infected!  User, it was sure a lot to think about.

Luckily I didn't have to wait as long as I expected – Lisa appeared what seemed like just a few nanos after Laser left.  "You're here already!"

"I was waiting outside."  She smiled, and then I saw a tear on her cheek and she walked quickly over to the bed and we hugged each other tight and didn't say anything for a long time.

"User, you feel good…"

"Enzo, I was so worried.  Why did you do it?"

"To save you, Angel."

"Enzo…"  She was crying softly, her head on my shoulder.  "If anything had happened to you I wouldn't want to process anyway.  Don't you know that?"

"I couldn't let you be infected.  Especially by _him_."

"You saved my code.  You saved me."  She took my face in her hands and pulled back a little.  "Let me look at you, Sweetie.  You're all right?"

"Laser says I'll be fine.  Thanks to your Dad."

She laughed softly.  "Thank the User he did what he did.  He's very grateful to you, you know.  For everything you did in the game."

"How did he know, anyway?  Why did he come?"  Lisa blushed a little and shrugged.  "Wait!  It was the ring, right?"

"Enzo!  How did you know?"

I smiled and felt a little pleased with myself.  "It's the stone – it's just like his…  I dunno, his icon or whatever Codemasters have.  Right?"

"Yes.  It's a jewel – from the web.  But it's also a homing signal.  Daddy gave it to me when I was little and told me to use it if I ever needed him."  She smiled and twirled the ring absently.  "Maybe he knew I'd be the sort of kid that gets in trouble!  I think he was hoping I'd call him sooner, though."

"Is he still here?"

"No.  He left right after he removed the time-lock.  He really hated being here – it wasn't easy for him.  But I wouldn't let him leave you until we were sure you'd make it."

"Thanks."  I sighed.  I inclined my head forward and we kissed, softly.  "Laser says I have to take it easy on that.  He knows all about us."

Lisa grinned.  "I guess we're not very good at keeping secrets."  She threw her arms around me again.  "Oh, Enzo!  I'm so happy you're OK."

"Me too.  And you're staying – that's totally pixelacious!  Laser knows about everything and it's still OK!"

"Yep.  I'm pretty relieved, I have to admit."

"Was it scary, when he sent Galileo to link with you?"

"Of course it was, Silly!  It was my whole future on the line.  And I've never used a keytool before."

I kissed her hair, over and over.  "Galileo is pretty smart.  He knows what an amazing sprite you are."

"Enzo, stop it…"

"I used Galileo once – in a game.  It was awesome."

"Yeah – Laser told me." Lisa sighed.  "My poor Enzo.  When you were infected, I just-"

"Don't talk about it.  Its over."  We held each again and didn't say anything for a few nanos.  I knew there was something that was unsaid, but I wasn't in any hurry to say it and it was easy to just do nothing when she was holding me and I was holding her.  But it had to come out, sooner or later, and finally it did.  "I'm sorry."

"Enzo, don't-"

"Lisa, I'm so sorry for what happened.  I'm sorry Zip found out your secret.  It's my fault what happened and I'm sorrier than I could ever be!"

"You don't have to be sorry."

"But I am."  I closed my eyes and put my head down on her shoulder, and her hand slowly stroked my hair as I talked.  "Something terrible almost happened to you – what _did_ happen was terrible.  And it was all my fault."

"It wasn't.  Zip is a liar, a total output – you couldn't know what would happen.  It's not your fault."

"It is!  And I…  I'm really sorry.  I'm so sorry…"

"You saved me." Lisa whispered.  "You got me through it, just like you promised.  You're my hero, Sweetie."

"Oh User, Lisa, I'm sorry."

"I know.  But you don't have to be."  Lisa kept smoothing my hair, and we held each other and I tried to keep my emotions under control.  "It's all over, now.  It's over."

"And…  I'm sorry about what I wrote, too."

"What?"  She lifted my head so she could look into my eyes.  "Why?"

"Lisa, I'm sorry I wrote that.  About kissing you and everything.  I-"

"Hush."  She smiled slightly and kissed me on the cheek.  "What you wrote was the sweetest, most romantic thing I've ever heard.  Even Zip reading it couldn't ruin it."

"What?" I gasped.

"I could never hope for a nicer first kiss, Enzo.  Knowing that's how you felt about it too makes it even more wonderful."

"Really?"

"Really."

"I meant it."  I kissed her again, her lips and her nose and her cheek.  "Um…  I'm sorry about the other thing, too.  What Zip read, uh-"

"Don't be."  Lisa gave back as good as she'd got, and I sighed and let the wonderful sensation of her lips on my face cradle me.  "I have thoughts about you too, you know.  Feelings.  All the time."

"No way!"

"Of course I do.  I always have, ever since that first kiss.  But do me a favor?"

"Anything."

She smiled.  "If you're going to write stuff like that down, do a better job with your security protocols next time, please!"

I blushed ever redder, if that was possible.  "Promise."

"Good."  Lisa kissed my nose.  "You're such a hottie!"

"I love you."

"I love you too."  She put her head down on my shoulder and squeezed me.  "I'm so glad you're all right.  So glad."

"I don't think I could have stayed here if you'd gone.  I don't think I could have…"

"Oh, Enzo.  You would too."

"I couldn't.  I…  I'd have gone back to Wozniak with you.   Or brought you to Mainframe-"

"I think your sister would have had something to say about _that_." She chuckled.  "Not to mention my Mom."

"Yeah." I sighed, kissing her hair.  "Crash, what would we have done, Lisa?  I can't even think about living without you."

"We're not supposed to feel that way, Cutie.  Not yet."

"I don't care!  I'll love you forever, I know I will.  I will."

"Enzo…  This wasn't supposed to happen!  We're so young.  You're _really_ young!  This just wasn't supposed to happen."

"I know.  But it did.  And I love you, I always will and I don't care if we're young or not."

"Sweetie."  Lisa lifted her head, looking tired.  "I love you too.  I love you with all my heart."

"You can't tell me we're too young to know.  Everything that's happened - the game, everything!  I _know_ I'll always love you.  I know it!  It doesn't matter if we're young – Matrix was 1.0 when he met AndrAIa and they're still together."

"I don't know, Enzo.  I don't know everything that's going to happen."  She ran her hand over my cheek slowly and stared into my eyes.  "I can't imagine ever _not_ loving you, though.  I can't imagine ever feeling any different."

"I made you a promise, didn't I?  I said I'll always take care of you and protect you and I'll never let anyone hurt you, ever.  I meant it.  I'll always love you and I'll always take care of you."

"Oh, Enzo."  Lisa grinned.  "Don't ever change, OK?  Don't grow up and be just like everyone else."  She nuzzled my neck gently.  "You're my hero."

"You're my angel.  I promise I'll always love you."  Maybe we Enzos were destined to fall in love at a young age, I don't know - but I'd never been as sure of anything in my life.

"I promise I'll always love _you_."  They were the most wonderful words I'd ever heard.  We kissed and I felt as strong and defiant as I've ever felt.  Anyone who tried to split us up – even Dot - was going to have a very big surprise on their hands.

"Lisa." I whispered.  "Lisa, I love you."

"I love you."  Her lips were on my neck, and mine were on hers.  I can't even begin to describe what that felt like, after all we'd been through together.  But we both knew Laser could walk through the door any nano and that thought was in both our minds.  We pulled back and stared at each other, breathing heavily.  Finally Lisa broke out giggling.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"What?  What is it?"  I started tickling under her chin, and she howled.  "Tell me!"

"Just…" she laughed.  "We're gonna be at the Academy for a long time, you know?  I was just thinking we're both gonna be pretty overheated by the end of second hour!"

"Oh." I blushed.  "You mean-"

"Yeah."

"Yeah."  Well, there was no point in denying I thought about it – a lot.  Especially since now I knew _she_ did too.  "Bob said I was way too young for that.  I guess he's probably right."  I sure didn't feel like it right then, though.

"Me too.  I guess." Lisa sighed.

I kissed her cheek softly.  "One cycle we won't be.  I can wait."

"Me too.  And kissing you is about the most graphical thing in the net, anyways, so maybe waiting won't be so bad."

"Yeah." I grinned and kissed her again, just to refresh myself that she was right.

"Enzo…  You know I'll only be 1.6 when we graduate.  And you'll be…"

"1.5." I said softly.  "Almost."

"We'll both have to serve apprenticeships.  What'll happen then?  What will we do?"

"I don't know."  I took her in my arms and squeezed her as tight as I could and tried not to think about it.  "We'll find some way to be together.  We _have_ to.  I promise we will, Angel."

"OK, Sweetie." Lisa whispered.  I rocked her slowly and we just sat for a little while, both thinking about the same thing, I guess.  Or trying _not_ to think about it.   "I hope you go home soon.  Linux misses you.  I think he's lonely in that room all by himself."

"Is he OK?"

"Yeah." Lisa chuckled.  "I think he and Patch were starting to hit it off pretty well before all this happened.  After you're back at the dorms we'll go out on that double-date."

"Yeah." I grinned. "But afterwards, you and I will find somewhere to finish the evening on a _single_-date."

"Who knows, maybe they will too!"

"Yeah!" I laughed.  "Maybe they will."  I held the most amazing girl in the net in my arms until Laser came back, and then I went to sleep.

Amazingly after everything that had happened, I was fine, pretty much – just dead-tired with a swollen ankle.  After I slept a while the med-techs checked me out and said I was cool to go back to the dorms.  It was after dinner and getting dark by then, and I felt weird – there was a hole in my life and everything, even the time of day, felt slightly off.  It made me think of what I felt like right after the reboot, and I could have processed without that memory.

Linux was lying on his bed doing homework when I got back, just like nothing had ever happened.  He bounced right up when he saw me, though.  "Enzo!"

"Hey, Dude.  Long time no see."

"Yeah!"  He grinned and gave me a little awkward hug.  "Welcome back.  I… I missed you."

"Yeah – you too."  I pounded him on the shoulder and we sat next to each other on his bed.  "So what'd I miss – anything good?"

Linux shrugged.  "Just us worrying about you, mostly.  I tried to come see you like every five micros, but they wouldn't let us in."

"I know, it's cool.  Turns out I should have listened to you, Man – you were right about the game roster.  It was fixed – Zip did it.  I shoulda gone to somebody, like you said."

"Dude – no way!  Really?"

"Yeah." I smiled grimly.  "He was actually pretty clever about it too, the bastard.  He did the whole thing just to try and get revenge on me."

"Man – that's unbelievable."

"Well, I don't have to worry about those nulls any more – neither of us do.  As soon as they get dis-infected they're both gonna be expelled."

"Crash!  That's awesome.  For tampering with the rosters?"

"Yeah."  That was all Linux needed to know, really.  I wish it was all _I_ knew, that the other thing had never happened.  It seemed to me that I'd probably seen more stuff in my life already than somebody 1.3 should, and it made me feel ridiculously protective about my roommate.  "Sorry you took a beating for me, Linux."

"I know.  It's no biggie – shit happens.  Not your fault those guys are like, totally insane."

"Yeah!  You look good – the bruise on your face is almost totally gone.  How's your belly?"

"Better.  It hardly hurts at all, now.  Does your ankle hurt much?"

"It's cool.  Not bad."  I punched his shoulder again.  "You've been a totally pixelacious friend, Dude – I never woulda got through the last six minutes without you.  Thanks."

"Yeah.  Whatever…"

He was obviously embarrassed, and that made me giggle.  Maybe talking with Lisa had put me in a gooey mood or something.  "I mean it, Linux.  We gotta stick together for the next two hours, you know?  We need each other.  Look at all the bad stuff that's happened just in six minutes!"

"Yeah, I guess." He smiled.  "Well, don't worry – you're definitely my best friend here and you always will be."  He punched _my_ shoulder, hard.  "But that's only because at the rate I'm going you'll be my _only_ friend, Nullbreath!"

"Ow!  Does Patch count?"  That set him blushing and fidgeting like he was on fire, and I started laughing hard and fell backwards.  I couldn't help myself.  "You crack me up!"

"Shut up, Dude."

"Heh!  Seriously, Linux – you like her, right?"

"Obviously, Stupid."

"Well – how's it going?  You guys have been having lunch and stuff, right?"

He shrugged.  "Yeah.  It's OK, I guess.  I don't think she thinks I'm a total low-density anymore.  We have lunch and it's OK."

"Well – ask her out on a real date!  Take her to dinner and stuff."  

"Stuff?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, and I giggled again.  "We haven't been thinking about dates or anything.  We've just been worrying, you know…  About you."

"Oh."  That really got to me, realizing that there were sprites here that cared so much about me and worried about me.  Good people were good people, wherever you met them.  I sat up and popped his shoulder again, just a tap this time.  "Thanks, Linux.  You're the best."

"You too."

I looked up at him and grinned. "Have you kissed her yet?"

"Dude!  No.  I don't wanna talk about it, OK?"

"You're blushing."

"Shut up!"

"I can't figure out if you're blushing 'cause you _did_, or 'cause you _didn't_."

"Shut up!  I didn't, OK?  Never!  I've never kissed anyone except my Mom and my Aunt Arial who smells like 32-bit lotion."

"Chill!  It's all right.  You will – it'll happen.  Patch likes you, I know she does.  Just be cool and it'll happen."

"Maybe." Linux sighed. "Actually, we both went to see you and while we were waiting and talking she was saying how nice it was that you and Lisa had each other to take care of and everything.  And I kinda lost it and I told her I really liked her and I'd take an infection for _her _if I had to."

"Dude – that's awesome!"

Linux sighed and blushed a little more.  "I was kinda goofy, though.  I told her I knew she didn't like me that much and it was OK and I'd leave her alone, and then she said well, she kinda _did_ like me…"

"Pixelacious!"

"I dunno – I just acted all weird and intense and I think I freaked her out.  And we didn't even get in to see you, anyways!"

"That's cool, though – you told her you like her and she said she likes you.  That's a big step, y'know?"

"I guess.  But it's not like you and Lisa, though.  You guys are totally, I dunno…  _Together._  Every time you're together."

"Not at first.  I was really nervous, but….  It changed.  I don't even know why, it just did."  I smiled and now it was my turn to blush, I think.  "I totally love her, Linux.  You know?  I know I'm only 1.3 but I really do."

"I know.  It's pretty cool."

"Yeah."  I lay back with my hands behind my head and closed my eyes, just enjoying the feeling of being with a friend and acting goofy and not having to worry who noticed.  Plus, I could _tell_ Linux stuff – I guess because he was almost my age.  I don't know why that matters so much, but it does.

"What's the secret, Enzo?"

I winked one eye open. "No clue, Dude.  I didn't plan it – it just happened.  I'll tell you the most important thing, though – be nice."

"Thanks a _lot_.  I kneel before you, O Wise One."

"No – I mean it!   I think a lot of guys just aren't _nice_ to girls, you know?  They treat them really bad.  If you're nice to a girl and just talk to her and listen to her, it really makes a difference."

Linux scratched his chin thoughtfully.  "You think?"

"Definitely.  If you're nice, even a hideous freak like _you_ might have a chance."

"Ouput."  Linux whacked me with his pillow and I let out a resounding scream.  User, it felt good.  "Easy to make jokes when you have a righteous babe for a girlfriend."

"I-  Never mind.  I can't argue with that."

"Lucky bastard."  Linux fell backwards next to me and we lay there for a few nanos, staring at the ceiling.  "So, uh…  What's it feel like to be infected?"

"Nothing."

"What?"

I shrugged.  "Nothing – honest.  The only part of me that got infected was my arm – and I was in a time-lock anyways, thanks to Lisa's Dad.  It was just total nothingness – no dreams, no thoughts, nothing.  It felt _very_ weird when I woke up – everything was all time-shifted, or something."

"Dude."

"Yeah."

"You're really lucky, Enzo.  Zip could've deleted you in that game, or you could've been infected a lot worse."

"I know."  I propped myself up on my elbow and faced him.  "I dunno why stuff happens, sometimes.  But I've been really lucky about a lot of things."

"It would've sucked if you got infected."

"For me, too."

"I'm serious!  My brother got infected and I never saw him again.  Now you – that would've been awful.  It's hard, you know...  It's hard for me to make _friends_ and stuff.  And it was really easy with you."

"It was really easy with you, too.  This place would suck without you here."

"Shut up." Linux sighed.  "You and Lisa would still be sucking face all cycle – that's what would suck!"

"No.  I mean, Lisa _is_ incredible – she rocks.  But you're like my brother, Dude.  Totally.  I'd hate it if you weren't here."

"You too."  He held out his hand.  "You're more like my brother than my _real_ brothers in a lot of ways."

"Cool."  We shook.  "We promised, right?  We stick together, to the end."

"Definitely." Linux grinned.  "And Daemon better watch out, 'cause we're gonna kick her ascii."

"Unless we have a date."

"Crash!  You _are_ nuts.  I'm going to bed."

"Bed?"  I checked my chronometer as Linux pushed me onto the floor.  "Aw, Man – it's almost lights out!"

"I know!" he giggled.  "That's why I'm going to bed."

"Man…  I've been sleeping all cycle!  I told you, everything was all weird when I got out of that time lock.  I won't be able to sleep for seconds!"

"Sorry Enzo.  Lights out is lights out."

"Yeah."  _This_ sucked – it was gonna take me cycles to get my chronometer back to normal.  And there was no _way_ I was gonna fall asleep anytime soon.  I kicked Linux' foot-locker and limped back to my bed with a sigh.

I picked up my organizer and tried to work on a homework assignment, but I couldn't concentrate – my mind was still buzzing with everything that'd happened.  Sleep isn't something you think about much except when you really want it and it won't come – _that_'s when you realize how precious it is.  Sometimes at home I'd lie in by docking bay for microseconds after Dot put me to bed, just worrying about everything and feeling lonely and afraid.  When I was real little I could crawl into bed with her and she almost never kicked me out – she wrapped me up in her arms and talked to me or sang to me and held me till I fell asleep.  But that definitely wasn't an option here.  I didn't think Mouse would be too cool with the idea.

I sighed and tossed my organizer aside, and prepared myself for a long night.  Then I head Linux' voice from the darkness on his side of the room.  "Enzo?"

I looked up, surprised.  "Yeah?"

"I think I'll stay up for a while.  You wanna do something?"

"Aren't you tired?"

"Nah."  I could dimly see him, propped up on his elbow and smiling.  "We can't use the organizers or anything, but we could play a word game, or-"

"We could just talk."

"Yeah.  We could just talk.  You want to?"

"Yeah, I think so.  Cool."

"Cool."

"Linux?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks.  You're the best."

"You too."


	26. Home

The last few cycles of that minute passed really slowly, almost like _it_ was in a time-lock.  Now that I was almost there, the idea of going home was so fantastically exciting that I thought about it every nano of every cycle, practically.  I'd been so busy trying to survive hazing and deletion and infection and being in love that I hadn't had much time to think about how much I missed my family.

But I _did_ – User, did I ever.  In my mind I saw them everywhere I went, all the time – Dot and Bob, Matrix and AndrAIa.  Not being with them was torture, and knowing I was so close to seeing them only made the torture worse.  

 I managed to work myself back into my classes more or less, and I loved every nano with Lisa, and I spent a lot of time worrying about Ray.  I even hoped Zip and Calisto wouldn't delete, and that they'd get cured.  Then I wanted their asciis out of the Academy forever and in a jail, where they belonged.  Mouse and the medical staff were working on that round the clock, practically without a break.  I couldn't ever remember Mouse really working all-out on something and not succeeding – and believe me, she was a fully dedicated server on this one with Ray being infected.  I was worried, but I believed in my heart it would be all right. 

When the big cycle finally came I could barely restrain myself in class, I was so worked up.  Home!  The last cycle of classes was a half-cycle, so I'd packed up my minute-end stuff the night before. We were going back home that night, so after my last class I went back and grabbed my duffel and my guitar – hey,  I couldn't miss the chance to get a lesson from Bob - and said good-bye to Linux and headed out to do a couple things before I left.

I ran into Quantum down in the main hallway on my way out, and he flashed me a big grin.  "Hey, Kiddo.  Going home for the break?"

"Yeah!  Five cycles.  It's gonna be amazing to see everybody again."

"They won't recognize ya."  He frazzled my hair.  "Heard about your little adventure in that game.  Unbelievable.  I should've taken those two nulls out myself, but I never thought they were capable of this kinda thing."

"Me neither.  Or Laser.  I knew they were mean, but…"

"You gut guts, Little Man." Quantum nodded approvingly.  "Stuff seems to just find you for some reason, but you don't whine about it – you deal with it.  I like that.  You need anything for the rest of this hour you tell me, OK?"

"Thanks!" I grinned.  "Just no more I/O shots for awhile, maybe."

"You'll change your mind about that.  You just gotta learn how to hold your distillate, that's all."

"Whatever.  I guess I gotta head – I'm meeting Mouse, she's taking me back.  You going home for the break?"

"Nope." He smiled.  "Things'd go to Hell around here without me.  I'll hold down the fort till you get back."

"Cool."  It was hard to believe this was the same guy I'd been terrified of when I first got here – I guess all I'd seen was the muscles and the stubble and the loud voice, but that wasn't all there was to him.  Well, I'd been pretty scared of Matrix too, when I met _him_.  "Listen, Dude – thanks for everything, OK?  You totally saved my-"

"Nope." He interrupted, holding up a big hand.  "A Guardian's in trouble, a Guardian has to help out.  You'd do the same for me."

"Well – yeah, I definitely would, but even so-"

"Say Hi to your family for me, Little Man.  You tell 'em they should be proud of you."

"I will."  We shook hands.  "C ya in a few."

"C ya, Enzo."

I headed on my way towards the little patch of trees, which by this point was forever saved in my memory as "the kissing spot".  The thought of going five cycles without a kiss from Lisa was pretty depressing, but my lips probably needed the break – I was starting to think they'd get bruised at the rate we were going.

"Enzo!"

"Patch!"  She was just coming out of the girls' dorm and she trotted towards me, and I sort of limped towards her.  I hadn't really been alone with her since I found out she was into me, and I wondered if it might be a little weird.  "How you doing?"

"I'm good."  Her smile seemed genuine enough.  "I'm really glad you're OK."

"Yeah – me too!"

"You're so funny!" she giggled.  "I tried to visit you but they wouldn't let us in when you were, you know…  Frozen, or whatever. And then when I came back you were asleep and I didn't want to disturb you."

"Thanks.  You guys have all been great to me."

"How's your ankle?"

"Almost healed.  It still hurts, but just a little."

"I can't believe how horrible Zip and Calisto were to you." She scowled.  "I really can't.  How could they be so cruel and stupid?"

"Websearch me." I shrugged.  When I could get myself to forget all the awkward stuff, I really liked talking to Patch.  You can't have too many friends, you know?  And she was a totally nice person.  Loyal too.  "I don't think people like us can ever understand people like them."

"Well…  I'm sorry they got infected.  But no one ever deserved it more!  Anyway, you and Lisa are OK and that's the main thing."

"Uh – yeah.  I guess."

"Going home, huh?"

"Yeah!  You?"

"Yeah.  Gonna be cool.  It's not really home until I can go back to the Supercomputer, though."

"You will some cycle." I smiled.  "So, um…  You think maybe you'd like to go out with Linux?  With Lisa and me, I mean?  Sort of a double-date."

Patch looked hurt, just a little and just for a nano.  But then she smiled she really did seem OK.  "Sure – why not?  We can go into town next minute-end, dinner and a quicktime or something."

"Cool!  Uh, Linux is a really awesome guy – he's alphanumeric."

"Yeah, he _is_ pretty nice."  She sighed, then kissed me on the cheek.  "So are you, Enzo."

Uh-oh.  "Um…  Thanks."

"Have a good trip home, OK?  I'm glad you're feeling better.  And thanks for being so nice to me and everything."

"Anytime.  You deserve it."

"C ya."  She patted my hand and zipped off.  I stared after her for a few nanos, still not knowing quite what to make of her.  She sure was a nice person, though – that was clear enough.

I thought about Patch for a few nanos, but by the time I got to the kissing spot Lisa was the only thing on my processor.  I was early – I usually was when I was meeting Lisa, for some reason – so I found our favorite tree and sat down against it to wait.

Every time I saw Lisa I still got a little pounding in my chest and a little thrill in my brain, just like the first time.  I figured I probably always would.  Seeing her zipping down the hill towards the trees totally filled me with happiness.  I just couldn't believe how lucky I was to have a girl like her – if you'd told me six minutes earlier I'd have said you were basic.  But I _did_, and the living proof of it was walking towards me through the trees, smiling and looking great in her uniform.  I loved everything she wore, but I think I loved her best in her uniform.

I stood up and walked towards her and I think I was smiling so much my face hurt.  I had the greatest girlfriend in the net and I was going home today, to boot.  "Hey."

"Hey!"  She held out her hands and I took them and kissed her cheek.  "Bringing your guitar home, huh?"

"Yeah.  Maybe I can get a lesson from Bob, if I have time."

We sat next to each other against our tree.  "Will you play for me, sometime?"

"Yeah.  Absolutely!  Only I'm not very good right now…"

She giggled.  "That's what the lessons are for, I guess."

"Yeah."  I kissed her nose and snuggled up against her.  "I'll write a song for you, I promise.  About how beautiful you are and how much I love you."

"Enzo!  Stop it."

"I will."  I sighed.  "I love you."

"I love _you_, Cutie."  A kiss on the lips, long and slow and soft.  "We sure say that a lot, don't we?"

"They're my favorite words."  I grinned.  I took her in my arms and held her with her head on my shoulder, which absolutely rocked.  I could sit like that for minutes and never need to move if she'd let me do it.

"Are you excited about going home?"  She finally asked in a soft, dreamy voice.

"Yeah."  It was amazing how torn in half I was – fantastically happy about seeing Dot and my family, horrified at the idea of five cycles without Lisa.  When you let yourself love people you've just gotta accept stuff like that, I guess.

"I'm glad.  I know they must really miss you.  Your sister must be totally worried about you."

"Yeah.  I bet she is."  I sighed.  I didn't wanna think about how Dot would react to everything at that nano.  I rocked Lisa slowly and watched the slivers of sunlight slice through the trees and dance off her hair.  "I'm sure gonna miss you, though.  User…"

"It's only a few cycles."

"It's forever."  I whispered.    "I wish you got to go home to see your Mom."

"I know, me too.  But she can't leave the system to come get me right now.  She's got a lot of responsibilities, you know?"

"I know what that's like."  I kissed Lisa's soft hair and squeezed her tight.  "At least you got to see your Dad when you weren't expecting to.  Maybe that kinda makes up for it…"

"Yeah."  Lisa lifted her head and smiled.  "He really liked you, Cutie."

"Yeah.  I'll just _bet_."

"Well…  He didn't get to talk to you much or anything – not with you being time-locked and all.  But he knows what you _did_.  And he knows how _I_ feel.  And he likes you 'cause of that." 

"Really?"  I wasn't sure how I felt about having a Codemaster like me, but I guess it was a gigabyte better than having one _not_ like me.  "It was so weird, seeing him here."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Sorry – I didn't mean anything!" I said quickly.  "It's just, well...  He's a _Codemaster_, you know?  Even his name – 'Avatar the Doom-Bringer'.  But when he was with you, he was just a Dad.  You could tell."

"Yeah." Lisa whispered.  She inched a little higher in my arms and held her cheek to mine, and we stayed like that.  "He's just my Dad.  He's a _strange _Dad, but I know he loves me."

"They're gonna be talking about that cycle around here for a _long_ time."

"Yeah.  Everyone knows about me now, or at least they will deleted soon the way rumors spread in this place.  That isn't gonna be easy to deal with…"

"Codeswap them." I growled.  "It's the same with me, being little and knowing Guardian 452 and Mouse and all that.  The ones that matter won't care, and we can deal with the rest of them if we help each other.  Anyone who gives you a hard time is gonna have to answer to me."

"My hero."  She gave me a little sideways kiss and a squeeze.

"Lisa, I…  I haven't told anyone about what happened.  In the game.  Mouse and Laser won't either.  It's nobody's business.  I'll never tell, I just wanted you to know…"

"Thank you." Lisa whispered.  She snuggled closer and trembled a little bit so I just held her tighter and thought about what she must be feeling inside. 

"I have to go soon." I sighed, after we'd held each other for a little while.

"Too many energy shakes at breakfast?"

"Hilarious!"  I tickled her a little and made her howl.  Finally, reluctantly, we sat up and looked at each other.  "I have, um…  I have a present for you."

"What?  Enzo, you don't have to-"

"Stop.  I _knew_ you'd say that."  I'd been thinking about this a long time, since before the last game cube even, and I was sure I wanted to do it.  I reached into my pocket and pulled out two little silver pins.  "I've been afraid to wear these around here because, well…  You know, with everything going on and Zip I didn't want to give anyone another reason to give me a hard time."

"Enzo – they're beautiful!  What are they?"

I smiled.  "Bob gave me these.  When I turned 1.0."  I held them up in a ray of sunshine and watched it sparkle off them.  "He got them for outstanding service to the collective.  And he gave them to me…"

"Enzo-"

"Shhh.  See?  One of them is a keytool, and the other one is a Guardian icon."  I held out the keytool pin.  "This one is for you."

"No, Enzo!  Bob gave them to _you_!  You can't."

"Bob will understand.  I know he will.  See, these pins were one of the best gifts I ever got.  I…  I was having kinda a hard time with the reboot and being a copy and the only kid and everything, and Bob and Dot were just starting to, know…  Be a _couple_.  And when he gave me these I just couldn't believe it – I…  I was just so…  I can't even say."  I grinned.  "I didn't take them off for minutes.  I ever wore them on my PJs.  It drove Dot nuts…"

"Enzo, you can't give away something that means that much to you!"

"Yes I can.  'Cause you mean even more."  I leaned across and kissed her, then pinned the keytool to her collar.  "They aren't standard issue so you can't wear 'em on duty, but-"

"Oh Enzo – it's beautiful." 

"Yeah.  I wanted you to have the keytool, 'cause Laser's keytool chose you and that's why you're still at the Academy, see?"  I pinned the icon to my collar.  "The only gift I could give you that would matter would be something that was totally important to me.  I didn't want to buy some ring or something I'd never even seen before."

"Enzo – you didn't have to give me _anything_!"

"Yeah I did.  You made my life totally incredible, Angel.  I never dreamed I could be as happy here as I am – that's 'cause of you.  I had to _show_ you how grateful I am, or at least try."

"Oh Enzo…"  She shook her head disapprovingly.  "You wore them on you PJs, for User's sake!  How can you give me this?"

"I know." I smiled.  "But I'll still have this one and besides – _you'll_ always have that one and we'll always be together.  So _they'll_ always be together, too – just like you and me.  That's what I was thinking anyways."

She stared at me for a nano, and it made me fidget a little. Then she kissed me on the cheek and squeezed me so tight my ribs ached.  "I love you so much.  You're the sweetest person I've ever met, you know that?  I don't know how you think of these things but you _are_.  Thank you."

"So – you like it?"

"It's the best present I ever got, Enzo.  It's absolutely perfect."

"So are you." I whispered in her ear, and I meant it, too.

"No I'm not, and stop!  Don't say I am.  But it doesn't matter – I'll love it forever and I'll keep it safe.  Just like you."

"Thanks."  We kissed then, just a long, soft, wonderful kiss that made me feel strong and safe and made me think I could do anything.  

"Hmph!" Lisa giggled.

"What?"  She giggled again.  "What is it?"

"Nothing."  She smoothed the hair out my eyes, grinning.  "I was just picturing you in your little PJs, wearing your silver pins.  I bet you were cute!"

"Oh jeez…"

"Did they have keytools on them?  Dinosaurs, maybe?"

"No!  Stop, OK?  Just stop!"  My face was on fire and I stared hard at my feet.

"Sorry." She giggled.  "I'm just having fun with you, Cutie."

"I know." I sighed.  "I'm used to it."

"Poor Enzo." 

"I bet you wore a little frilly pink nightgown, didn't you?  With teddy bears on it!"

"I'm not sure I like where this is going…"

"Now you know what it feels like!"  To be honest _I_ didn't like where it was going – as soon as I said it I realized it was a mistake.  Just picturing Lisa that way was enough to turn my insides into pudding.

"Truce!" Lisa smiled.   She kissed my cheek and smoothed my hair a little more.  "This really is the best gift anyone's ever given me, Enzo.  I'm sorry I didn't get you anything.  I'm not as thoughtful as you are."

"You don't have to." I mumbled.  "You never have to give me a present, Lisa.  _You're_ the best present ever."

"Stop! "

"I mean it."

"Enzo...  What am I going to do with you?" Lisa sighed.  

I wanted so much to stay there forever, but I knew I had a whole lifetime of being with Lisa to look forward to.  "Uh!  I really have to go now.  Mouse'll be waiting."

"I know.  You have a nice trip back.  Have fun with your family, OK?  Enjoy every nano you have with them."

"I promise."  We kissed again, one last time, and I gathered my duffel and my guitar.  "I love you, Angel.  See you next minute."

"I love you too, Enzo.  I'll miss you."

"Miss you too."  OK, I lied – _now_ we kissed one last time.  I ran my fingers through her hair and got a good dose of her to tide me over, and headed for the great hall.  "Only five cycles." I whispered to myself.  Funny – now the Academy was a place I'd miss when I wasn't there.  Just like Mainframe.  That sucks in a way, since you're always missing _somewhere_ – but it also meant that wherever I went, it was someplace I wanted to go.  That was a pretty alphanumeric feeling.   

I walked through the corridors of the great hall feeling more at home than I'd felt any time in the last six minutes.  This place was becoming part of me – the people, the classes, the games, the buildings and trees and paths and even the town.  I was a _Cadet_ – it was a part of me now, and it always would be.

I got to the Med Unit and found Ray's door.  I knocked and a voice called softly for me to enter, so I slipped through the door, feeling a little nervous – this was my first time seeing Ray since everything happened.  "Hey."

"Hey, Mate.  All packed?"

"Yeah.  Mouse isn't here yet, huh?"

"Can't slip one past you." Ray winked.  His voice was soft and strained, but he was smiling.  "She'll be by any nano."

"Crash – it's so great that you're OK!  I was really worried."   I set my stuff down and climbed up on the bed next to him.  "I wanted to come see you sooner, but they said you were too sick.  How you feeling?"

"Tired." Ray scowled.

"Well – total code filtration sounds pretty serious."

"So they tell me."

"Dude – did they really drain every drop of code from your body?  That doesn't even sound possible!"

"Yup." Ray rasped.  "So Mouse says – drained every drop and ran it through anti-viral filtration, then a transfused it with Guardian code.  Twice.  I doubt anyone else would have even thought of it, but you know Mouse."

"Yeah."  Ray was pale and thin – ever for him – but he was processing.  That was enough for now.  "I'm glad you're all right, Ray.  If anything had happened-"

"Hey – I'll be fine.  I'm glad you're OK, too – sounds like it was pretty touch and go in that game for a while."

"I guess."

He smiled wearily.  "Sorry I wasn't in there with you, Lad.  I should've been."

"No! You didn't know – nobody did.  That bastard Zip was actually really clever."

"I underestimated the bugger, that's for sure." Ray sighed.  "You ought to feel really proud, Mate – you've carried yourself really well for your first time away from the apron strings, but getting each other through that game was really impressive.  You and the little gal might just have saved the Academy by saving yourselves."

"Thanks.  Um…  I really _do_ feel kinda proud, actually."

"Don't get cocky, Son."

I spun around and smiled.  "Hi Mouse!  All set to go?"

"Keep yer pants on Sugar, Mainframe ain't goin' anywhere."  Mouse winked and tousled my hair on her way to the bed, where she leaned down and softly kissed Ray on the forehead.  "How you feelin', Hot Stuff?"

"High-res." Ray yawned.

"Ya look low-res to me.  You need sleep, Honey – listen to your doctor.  Has this boy been botherin' you?"

"Hey!"

"Naw – he's a good kid." Ray smiled.  "Excited to go and see the family, Lad?"

"You bet.  I wish you could come with us."

"Me too Enzo.  But I need a couple solid cycles of sleep before I go anywhere.  A little rest and I'll be right as vegemite."

"Yeah, I know.  I feel bad Mouse has to leave you to take me home.  If you guys are worried-"

"Nah." Mouse smiled.  "I've done my bit, Sugar – the boy's clean now, just wore out.  What he needs is sleep.  If I was around here I'd just keep him up nights smoochin' and carryin' on."  Ray laughed a tired little laugh and she winked at us.  "'Sides – I'm lookin' forward to seeing everybody back home – it's been too long.  So don't worry yer cute little head about it."

"OK.  If you're sure-"

"I'm sure Pumpkin.  You all packed and everythin'?"

"Yeah – guess so.  I never had to pack to go _to_ Mainframe before, so I wasn't really sure what to bring."

"Just yourself – that's all they'll care about."  She patted my cheek.  "Can't believe how much you've grown up in a few minutes…"

"Me?"

"Amazin' what being on your own will do for a kid." Mouse grinned.  "Still – I bet you miss ol' Dot's hugs and kisses, huh?  Sometimes a boy just needs his mama."

"Er – yeah, I guess."  One thing about Mouse – she never shied away from saying something because she thought it would embarrass me.  "Um – you ready to go?"

"Ready, Sug – Ship's charged and loaded and pointed towards home.  I had some business to take care of, but that's done with."

"What business?"

"Good riddance to bad rubbish." She said softly.

"What?  You mean…"

She squeezed my hand gently.  "Laser an' me portaled 'em outta here a few micros ago, Pumpkin.  Their home systems can decide what to do with 'em now – I cleaned 'em up and sent 'em on their way."

"Wow." I whispered.  Knowing they were really gone should have made me totally happy, but for some reason I felt all mixed up about it.  I was relieved, definitely – I won't pretend I was looking forward to any more fights or hazing or anything else.  But it still didn't make me _happy_ exactly.  "Are they both…OK?"

"They seen better days – especially that smug little ascii Zip.  You did a job on his arm but it'll heal eventually – and they're both clean, that's the main thing.  Calisto's parents didn't want me to try my little experimental treatment on him, but when I told 'em he'd probably be infected for life if I didn't they changed their minds quick enough."

"Well…  I'm glad they're gone, I guess." I sighed.  "But I'm glad they're OK, too."

"I know y'are, Honey.  That's why you'll never be like them.  You ready to get going?"

"Yeah."  I turned back to Ray.  "Get better, OK?  I wanna go surfing when I get back."

"You got it, Mate."  Ray put his hand on my head, and it felt cold.  "Have a safe trip home.  I'm bloody proud of you."

"Thanks."  I gave him a smile and a quick hug and then I gathered up my stuff.  "Uh – you guys want a milli alone?"

Mouse laughed.  "In his condition?  You ain't gonna see nothin' you ain't seen before, Kid!"  She leaned over Ray and they kissed gently, and she looked… s_ofter_, somehow.  Like when she'd fixed me up after my fight.  "Bye Lover.  Doctor's orders are sleep, sleep and more sleep.  And when they bring you food – eat it!"

"Roger, Lovely Lady.  Safe trip."

"Safe trip." She smiled.  "C'mon, Kid – your sister'll have my hide if I get you home late for dinner."

"Right."  I waved to Ray and followed Mouse out of his room and down the hall.  Dinner – at home!  How weird was _that_ gonna feel?

That's when it all started to really hit me, after Mouse made that comment.  I was going home.  The Diner, the P.O…  Phong, Frisket, AndrAIa… AndrAIa!  Matrix.  Bob.  And Dot – oh User, I was gonna see Dot!  I'd never gone a cycle in my life without her and now, after six minutes apart, I was finally gonna see her again.  I can't even try and describe what that felt like.

I didn't have much to say as I followed Mouse outside and towards the docking area - too many thoughts rattling around in my head - and she kept along at a steady clip without saying much of anything.  She hopped on onto Ship and I passed my stuff up to her and then she gave me a hand up and we were ready to go. "Get strapped in, Sugar.  Safety first, y'know."

"Right." I grinned.  I buckled myself into the co-pilot's seat and looked around the cockpit, which I'd never been inside before.  It was incredibly cool, but that's no surprise when Mouse in involved.

"Uh – Honey?"

"Yeah?"

She handed me a tissue.  "Might want to wipe your face a little.  Unless you want the first thing your sister sees to be about half a lipstick."

"Oh!"  She'd done it to me again.  "Thanks.  Uh, Mouse – you won't tell her-"

"That's between you and Dot, Pumpkin." Mouse smiled, starting the engine.  "Long as it don't affect your work, it ain't none o' my business to tell her."

"Thanks."  I sighed and sat back in my chair, which was too big for me anyway so it was easy to stretch out in, and draped my leg over the arm.  Mouse went silent and I got wrapped in my thoughts again.  We lifted slowly off the ground and I saw the Academy start to spread out below me.

Home.  That wasn't as simple a word as it had been a few weeks before.  I got real scared for a nano, and this idea crept into my processor that I couldn't ever _go_ home again, back to Mainframe – I wasn't the same person anymore and they'd reject me because of it and I'd never be able to go back.  

But I realized almost immediately that wasn't right.  People left home all the time – but they still came back, and if it was still home it didn't matter if they'd changed.  People _did_ change – you couldn't help it.  Matrix did.  Bob did.  Dot did too, and _she_ never even left.  But when they were together they were home.  Mainframe hadn't left me just 'cause I'd left _it_ for a while.

I watched the Academy buildings getting smaller and smaller and thought about that.  It was OK to change, I figured.  I was definitely going home a very different sprite than when I'd left and it was because of this place and the people here, but that was all right – as long as I was still Enzo it was OK.  Dot would understand – they all would.  They were my parents – Dot and Bob and Matrix and AndrAIa and Phong and the hacker sitting next to me, and Ray, and even Laser.  I was _their_ kid, all of them.  They'd understand.

I figured it out then, sitting in the cockpit of Ship watching the Academy slip away for a little while.  You had to face stuff on your own – no matter how much you wanted your family to protect you they wouldn't always be there.  But you didn't have to _be_ on your own – Matrix had figured that out too, a long time ago.  You had to be strong enough to let others sprites help you – you had to be there for them and let them be there for you, whether it was an infected game or a disciplinary meeting or _whatever_.  Part of being strong was letting people help you and not shutting them out.  I had to be my own man, like Bob said – but that didn't mean I had to alone.  And knowing that made the idea of growing a little further away from all my parents seem a little bit less scary.

"You OK, Honey?"

"Huh?"  I looked up and saw Mouse looking at me with a little smile on her face.  The Academy was long gone – we were in the net.

"You left me for a while there, Pumpkin.  You all right?"

"Yeah – sorry.  Just thinking about stuff."

"That's OK." She chuckled.  "You got a lot to think about.  We'll be home soon enough, and that's plenty to think about right there."  She leaned back and put her hands behind her head.  

"Yeah."  I actually did _think_ about something just then.  "Um – Mouse?  Could you do me a favor?"

She cocked an eyebrow at me.  "Sure, Sugar.  What is it?"

"Well – I have this…  This _journal_, see…  And I was hoping you could write me some security protocols…"


	27. Epilogue

Thanks to everybody who stuck with me through this story.  It's been a long road, and I really appreciate all your reviews and feedback.

EPILOGUE

OK, I lied again.  But I always think when I write this stuff that I _know_ something, and then I find out later that I was wrong, but I'm too lazy to go back and change it because then everything else after it doesn't make sense either.

Anyway – there's one _more_ first I have to talk about, even though I promised I was done with those.  But this is a big one:

Going home.

Going back to Mainframe was just as big a deal as leaving it – because I'd gone through 13 hours or so without ever doing it.  I'd always _been_ there, and you can't go back to someplace you've never left.  There were so many sprites in Mainframe that were burrowed so deep inside my heart that going back to them for the first time was unbelievably huge – it felt stranger and stranger as we got closer and closer in our mostly quiet little ship.  Mouse knew I had stuff going on inside and she didn't try to push me to talk much.

I thought about each of their faces in turn, and all of them made me smile a little and brought different emotions up to the surface.  I wanted to tell them _everything_, all of it, all at once – especially Dot.  But then I thought about it and realized that there was a lot of stuff I wasn't sure I'd be able to tell them when the nano came – especially Dot.  And there was still a little part of me that was worried I'd lost something – that when I saw Dot and the others again some part of our bond would be missing, and I'd never get it back.  I definitely wasn't the same boy I'd been six minutes earlier – I just wasn't.  What if it really _did_ matter?  Could you grow up and still be just as close to the sprite that had raised you almost since you were a baby? 

"There it is!  Ow!"  I spotted Mainframe through the viewscreen, just as blue and pretty as I remembered it.   Unfortunately I was so excited to see it that I tried to jump out of my seat and forgot that the belt was buckled tight, right across my middle.

When the stars faded and my eyesight came back, Mouse was looking at me with her hand over her mouth, shaking from the effort to keep her laughter inside.  "You…  You OK… Kiddo?"

"Yeah." I winced.  I had some serious doubts that my voice was _ever_ gonna change now, though.  I shook my head a couple times and Mouse tittered softly.  Mainframe was still out there, filling up almost the entire screen.  "Wow.  It's so beautiful…"

"Prettiest system I ever seen, and I been to a lot of 'em.  Now give me a nano here, Pumpkin – even the Mouse needs to concentrate when it's the Mouse's security protocols she has to disable."

"Right."  That was fine with me – I had plenty on my processor when I looked at that blue sphere outside the window.  Any doubts I had about whether it would still feel like home were gone the nano I saw it – I knew, looking at it, that I could never really be home anywhere else.  It was a part of my code and it always would be.  I might be happy being a visitor somewhere else, but only if I knew Mainframe was out there waiting for me to come home.

"_There _she goes!" Mouse grinned.  "We're through, Sugar – I must say, I do damn fine work.  You about ready for some home cookin'?"

"Oh, yeah!"  Best energy shakes in the net, no doubt about it – and Dot's applet sundaes…  

"Hey down there!  I got a special express shipment here for Dot's diner – you accepting deliveries?"

I felt a little thrill as I heard Phong's voice on the communicator.  "Ah, Mouse – it does my old heart good to hear your voice again.  And young Enzo is with you, safe and well?"

"Hi, Phong!"

"Hello, Young One!  Welcome home.  Shields are down and docking pad nine is prepared.  We will meet you there in a few nanos."

"Pad nine, roger Old Timer.  See ya there."  Mouse eased Ship downwards and the Principal Office dome came into view.  And Floating Point, and Kits, and a tiny little speck over on Baudway that I knew instantly.  User, it felt _weird_ to see all of it again!  "Wow.  Sure looks pretty down there."

"Sure does."  I leaned closer to the viewscreen, taking in every detail I could.  Everything looked the same.  I mean, duh – why should it have been different?  But I was still a little surprised by just how _much_ the same it was.  "I can't even believe I'm home.  Feels strange."

"It'll pass, Honey.  You ain't never been gone before. You just found out the world is about a billion times bigger than you thought it was, that's all.  Hang on tight, now – I'm touching this baby down."  And she did – Mouse is a phenomenal pilot in addition to everything else.  Her landing was as soft as Lisa's hair.

Once we were down I started feeling really nervous again.  I still had this nagging fear that I'd be a stranger now – that my family wouldn't really be my family anymore.  I'd played this nano in my head a thousand times since I left home, but now that it was happening I realized I had no idea how it was actually gonna launch and run.  And then the door opened and my hands were unbuckling my harness and my feet moved towards the door, one after the other, and I felt like I was in a dream.

Mouse hopped down to the ground and smiled back at me.  "Gimme your hand, Honey – best we mind that ankle."

"K."  As she helped me down I got a glimpse over her shoulder of familiar faces walking towards us and my heart swelled up about ten times its normal size.  Then before I had time to say a word I was on my back and a huge weight was on my chest.  "Oof!  Get down, Frisket!"

"Someone's glad to see you, looks like."  It was AndrAIa's voice, and it was one of the sweetest sounds I ever heard.

"Take is easy, Boy!"  Frisket licked me all over my face and made me giggle and I just wrapped myself around his neck and held on tight.  "I missed ya, Boy.  I missed ya.  Did you miss me?"  He responded with a woof and there was a chorus of laughter.  I always figured Frisket understood stuff a lot more than a dog is supposed to, but I wonder if he'd thought I was never coming back.

I wrestled with him and laughed for a few nanos, then I pushed myself upright and the first face I saw was Bob's.  "Hey, Cadet."

"Bob!"  I was on him in two steps and I almost bowled him over like I used to when I was a kid, but I just wrapped myself around him at the last nano and put my head on his chest.  "Bob, I missed you!"

"You too, Tiger."  He lifted me up and swung me around and we grinned at each other and laughed some more  "Welcome home."

"Thanks."  We hugged each other and then he sort of handed me to Matrix and he kinda tossed me up in the air.  "Hey, Big Guy!"

Matrix perched me on his arm like I was a Guardian doll and smiled an actual smile.  "Little Brother – look at you.  Just hasn't been the same around here without you making a pest of yourself." 

"End file!"  I giggled.  He set me down and I popped him on the shoulder and then I turned to AndrAIa.  That's when it hit me for the first time that I felt a little weird seeing her – guilty or something.  "Hi Andri."

"C'mere."  We hugged each other and I sighed and just sort of fell against her and it was OK again.  "I missed you so much Sparky.  I was so worried about you."

"Thanks.  But I'm fine."  I gave her a little kiss on the cheek and she laughed her amazing musical laugh and kissed my forehead.  "I missed you too."

"Sparky…"  User, she was beautiful – maybe I'd changed, but the part of me that thought she was beautiful and amazing definitely hadn't.  "We heard about what happened.  You're all right?"

"Yeah – fine.  Just a little sore ankle, that's all."  I saw Phong hovering behind AndrAIa and bridging his spindly fingers.  "Hey, Phong!"

"Greetings, Child.  Ah, the return of the young Guardian – it is a wonderful cycle in Mainframe when a Guardian returns home on his own terms.  Did you have a pleasant journey?"

"Great!  Where's Dot?"

"She's back at the diner." Bob said, his arm around Mouse's waist.  "She's getting a big old party ready for you – baking, the whole thing.  She wanted to come-"

"It's OK." I smiled.  I knew exactly why Dot had stayed behind – and _she_ knew I'd know the reason.  She knew me better than anyone else in the net.  "But let's go over there right now, OK?"

"Yeah!" Bob laughed.  "You're the boss, Tiger."

"Cool."  I grinned at everybody and everybody laughed and I managed to hug everybody at least once more, even Phong, and we all hopped on our zip boards and had a little parade over to Baudway, Bob giving Phong a lift and Frisket running along next to us, barking.  It felt like a party to me already – I knew the nano I saw them that these sprites didn't care that I'd been gone and maybe even changed a little.  They were my family, and as soon as we were together I just _fit_, somehow – like I'd never left.

Matrix hovered over next to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.  "Everything go OK, Kid?  With what we talked about?"

"Sort of.  A lot of bad stuff happened, but it's OK now – I'll tell you guys all about it.  You were right about everything, Matrix – thanks for being there for me."

"Just being a big brother."  Matrix blushed.  I couldn't help but smile a little at his discomfort with this stuff.  He caught my grin and scowled and leaned over towards me.  "How's your girlfriend?"

"Matrix – shhh!"

"Is she pretty?"

"Yeah!" I whispered.  "But don't, OK?  Please?"

"Yeah, yeah." He snickered.  "Just yanking you, Kid."

"What're you guys whispering about?" AndrAIa asked mischievously.

"Nothing – Matrix is just giving me a hard time, that's all…"

"Hey – I'd never!" Matrix protested.

"Never _stop_, you mean."

"Quit it you two!" AndrAIa laughed.  "Good to see some things never change, I guess."

"Yeah."  I grinned up at Matrix and he winked at me, and then we were there – it was right in front of us.  The diner - my whole life up until about six minutes earlier, pretty much.  "Wow."

The others started filing in and I felt Bob's arm go around my shoulder.  "Welcome back.  Does it feel funny?"

"Yeah." I whispered.  "Like I'm dreaming it."

"It's real enough.  There's no place like home, is there?"  I looked up at him and he smiled.  "Hasn't felt like home without you here, though."

"Bob…"

"C'mon – let's go."  He led me inside and the diner was packed with people – Specky and Gavin and Bula and Mr. Christopher and even Mike the TV – about the only one not there was Mister Pearson, and I guess he just about never left the data dump.  When I walked in there were shouts and laughter and hands clapping my back and all of it made me feel warm and happy and about as tall as the Principal Office.

_"Ladies and gentlemen – what an auspicious day in Mainframe as we welcome home Guardian Cadet…Little Brother…Uncle…and all around good egg Enzo Matrix, Mark II.  But rumors have reached this reporter's ear of… Scandal!  Scandal at the Academy!"_

"Mike!!!"

"Where's Dot?" Bob asked, before I had a chance to ask it myself.

"She's gone downstairs to put the wee nipper down for his nap, Lad." Gavin said in his normal half-shout.  He clapped me on the shoulder with his good hand and grinned.  "By Gar, young Enzo – 'tis good to see you, Me Hearty!  Your adventure has served you well, I can see it even with me one good eye!"

"Thanks, Cap'n!  Great to see you too."

"I'm looking forward to hearing tales of your exploits, M'Lad – nothing serves the soul better than a hearty meal and a stirring yarn.  But that can wait – go to her, Boy.  I know ye want to."

"Yeah." I nodded.  I shook Gavin's hand and turned and caught Bob's eye.  He smiled and nodded and I headed for the kitchen, through the doors and down the stairs towards our apartment.  I was nervous again, now more than ever.  Everything was fine, so far – I could see it when I looked into everyone's eyes and saw the smiles on their faces.  But it was different with Dot – it always had been, and it always would be.

My heart was pounding as I opened our door and stepped inside, and that dream sense was stronger than ever before.  Six minutes might not seem like a long time but it _is_ – and right now it felt like six days, not six minutes.  This place was my whole life, I'd never left it for so much as a cycle since we'd moved in, and six minutes away from it was a pretty big deal.

"Enzo?"  I heard a voice call as I closed the door.  I started to reply, but I couldn't make my voice work – I opened my mouth and nothing came out.  I just stood there and stared at the hallway silently, feeling light-headed.  Then I heard a footstep, and another, and there she was.  Our eyes locked for a nano and then she smiled.  "Enzo."

I still couldn't make my a sound, so I teetered a couple steps towards her and she walked towards me and opened her arms and then I was 0.1 again and she was holding me tight.  "Enzo.  Sweetie…"

"Dot.  Crash, I can't believe it.  It feels so weird."  I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around her and felt a few warm drops on my cheeks.  "Dot…"

"My baby's home!  I missed you so much."

"I missed you too."

"Come here, let me look at you."  She took my face in her hands and smiled and she was crying a little, too.  "Oh, my beautiful Enzo.  Sweetie, I missed you."

"Dot, I can't believe I'm really home.  It feels like forever."

She kissed me on the forehead, over and over.  "I thought this cycle would never come, Enzo.  That's what it felt like.  Not knowing what was happening, if you were OK…"

"I'm OK."

"Let me be the judge of that!" she chuckled and wiped her eyes.  She looked me up and down carefully.  "You're thin.  Aren't you eating well?  Is the food no good?  You haven't been feeling sick, have you?"

"No!  I'm fine, the cooking's good.  Well, it's OK – not like yours.  I've been exercising and training a lot more, that's all."

"Losing your baby fat too, I suppose." She sighed.  She gave me a squeeze and kissed my head.  "Your shoulders feel bigger, I admit.  You've been weight training?"

"A little.  Not like Matrix or anything."

That made her laugh.  "Oh, Enzo…  Enzo, I missed you so much."  She knelt a little, so we were eye-to-eye.  "This is _me_ now, Sweetie – are you really OK?"

That brought a little sob to my throat for some reason.  "Yeah.  I get lonely sometimes and I think about you _all_ the time but I really am OK."

"Honey, Laser said you were in an infected game.  He said some boys had fixed it so you'd be in there without a teacher because they wanted to hurt you."

"Oh."  That was one word for it.  I looked down at my feet and Dot stroked my hair slowly.  "They won't bother me any more – they're gone."

"Why were they bothering you, Enzo?"

I wiped my eyes.  "Because…   I don't know.  'Cause I'm little.  And 'Cause I know Bob…  And Mouse."

"Oh, Sweetie."  She hugged me and I closed my eyes and let myself feel whatever I was going to feel, for the first time in minutes.  "Are you really OK?  Did they hurt you?"

"Yeah.  They… They hurt me a little but I'm OK now."

Dot held me while I sniffled and didn't say anything, just smoothed my hair and kissed my forehead.  "Enzo, Laser said you were almost infected.  He said you were in the Med Unit for two cycles."

"Yeah.  But I'm OK."

"Enzo-"

"You can't make me come home, OK?  You c-can't-"

"Sweetie, I didn't say I was."

I wiped my eyes again but it was still like I was looking at her through a data storm.  "I know some bad stuff happened but it wasn't my fault and it wasn't Laser's fault, either.  Those guys are gone and I'm better now and you just _can't_ make me quit, please!"

"Take it easy.  Just take it easy.   I'm just worried for you, that's all.  I just want to know you're all right."

"I am.  I have a couple friends and I'm doing OK in my classes and I just _can't_ give up now."

"I know you won't give up." Dot smiled.  "Here." She handed me a tissue and I wiped my eyes and blew my nose.  "Laser promised me that what those boys did in that game won't happen again and I want to believe him.  But it _did_ happen once…"

"I know!  But Mouse made sure it'll never happen again.  Those guys were really bad, that's all.  No one figured they'd do something like that.  And an infected game could happen anywhere!"

"I know it could." She sighed.  "Of course, Daemon might know where the Academy is now, too-"

"No!  Laser doesn't think she does.  And Mouse is protecting us, anyway.  _Please_ don't make me quit!"

"Oh, Enzo…"  Dot stared at me for a long nano.  She brushed the hair out of my eyes and a tear off my cheek.  "You understand that I have a responsibility to keep you safe and protected?  That it's my number one responsibility to you?  Remember what I said - you're my little boy no matter how big you get!"

"I…  I know."

"I also want you to be happy.  And I know you want this very much, don't you?"

"Yeah." I nodded.  "When I come home from the Academy I want to be a Guardian.  It's all I ever wanted to do, Dot."

"Sweetie."  She smiled and pulled me close again.  "Bob thinks you'll be all right, and Laser certainly does.  I suppose there's bad people everywhere but spammit, I want to be _there_ when you need to be protected!  Do you understand that?"

"Sure." I rasped.  "So move to the Academy!"

"You!"  She tweaked my nose and tickled me under the chin, getting a giggle or two out of me.  "All right, My Angel – I suppose I'll just have to delete every cycle for the next two hours, give or take six minutes…"

"Oh, Dot!  No…"

"It's rough, Sweetie - there's no way around it.  You're my boy and I can't be there for you and then something like _this_ happens-"

"I _promise_ I'll be OK!"  I wrapped my arms around her neck and held on tight.  Most of the time I didn't think about what all this was like for Dot – only for me. "I'll be OK.  And you'll be there with Bob for six minutes and you'll _see_ it's all right."

"I know, Angel.  I know."

"Nothing like this is gonna happen again.  I really am OK, I promise."  

"I know you are.  I'll do my best and you do yours, all right?"

"Yeah."  Poor Dot – I could see now that this was worse for her than it was for me, really.  I had Lisa and Linux and pixels to distract me, and I more or less _knew_ Dot was OK – she could take care of herself.  But she'd been taking care of me almost my whole life and now she had to trust it to people she didn't really know.  Well, and _me_.  "Dot, I swear to you that I'll be smart and careful and take good care of myself and you don't have to worry about any of that.  I _promise_."

"Thank you Sweetie – but I'm going to worry about all of it anyway.  I guess it just can't be helped.  But I know you'll be OK.  You're a tough kid – you always were."  She wiped her eyes with her sleeve and kissed my cheek one more time.  "Come on – we're supposed to be having a party already!  I made you pizza and binary brownies and all kinds of good stuff."

"Thanks Dot.  You're awesome."

"We'll get some fat on you yet!" she giggled and tickled my belly.  "Skinny boy!"

"Stop!" I squealed.  We both giggled for a few nanos and leaned against each other and she handed me a tissue again, because I still had tears on my cheeks and she knew me better than I knew myself, so she knew I wouldn't want anybody to see that.  "Can I see Mac?"

"I'll bring him up to the party in a little bit – I just put him down for him nap.  He was getting cranky."

"I know the feeling." I sighed, and we giggled again.  We went downstairs and the party was in full swing, and everybody shouted out when they saw us come in except Mike, who was being very quiet and I wondered why till I saw Bob was holding a screwdriver.

I'll always remember that party.  One thing that was different for me about being at the Academy is that there were always expectations – in class, in the games, dealing with other kids.  That was good – it was nice to have responsibilities and to be challenged, but what happened was that I was _always_ trying to prove myself.  Back home everybody pretty much accepted me as I was, and that drove me crazy a lot before I left – because it meant they were mostly happy looking at me as a cute little kid.  But after having been away it felt pixelacious – I could totally relax and be myself and know that whatever happened, these sprites would be OK with it.  They were here together because they cared about me, liked me or loved me, whatever.  And feeling all that affection from all those sprites during that party was one of the greatest experiences I've ever had.

The only kinda awkward thing for me was AndrAIa.  I know it sounds dumb but I felt really guilty, like I'd betrayed her or something.  To her I was just a kid – a kid she really loved, yeah – but still a kid.  Her baby brother, almost.  But to me AndrAIa was the only girl I ever loved – the only girl I ever _could_ love, I thought.  Almost since before I even knew what it meant to be in love I was totally in love with her.  And not long after _that_ I knew it was silly – AndrAIa was twice my age and she loved Matrix and she could never feel about me like I did about her.  

That didn't make the feelings go away, though.  I really loved having Andri as a friend – she's one of the nicest, smartest people I know – but a part of me always dreamed of what it'd be like to be _in_ love with her and have her love me back.  I was as sure as I could be that I'd never meet another girl I felt that way about – that she was the only girl meant to be with Enzo Matrix.  And she already was.  Then when I met Lisa and realized I _could_ feel that way about someone else, it felt like I'd tarnished the beautiful, impossible dream I had about Andri.

When I saw Andri sitting by herself for a nano during the party I went over to be with her.  I didn't really have any idea what I wanted to say but I knew I wanted to be there – it felt like something I needed to happen, even if she'd never understand why.  I wasn't ready to tell her about Lisa – I didn't really want to tell _anybody_ and have to deal with the questions and the comments and the patronizing smiles.  But I needed to be next to her, anyways, I knew that much.

"Hey."  She flashed one of her amazing smiles at me as I sat next to her in the booth.  "Having fun?"

"Yeah – it's awesome.  It feels really weird to be home."

"It's felt really weird _not_ to have you home.  You dug yourself right into my heart and there's a great big hole in it when you're not here."

"Thanks."  I couldn't look at her, I just stared at the table and blushed.  

"You wanna play some jetball tomorrow?  Maybe go circuit racing?"

"Yeah – that'd be cool.  Come over for breakfast and we'll go from here, K?"

"Cool."  She took my hand in hers and squeezed it.  "Now - what's the matter, Little Sparky?"

"What?  Nothing!"

"Come on." She smiled.  "I know you better than anyone here, in a way – I'm the only one who was with your brother when _he_ was your age, remember?"

"Yeah – I guess that's true…"

"So – what's up?  You've been acting funny around me all night."

"Have I?"  I smiled at her.  "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry.  What's wrong?  Aren't you happy to be back?"

"Yeah!  I missed you guys like crazy.  It was deleting me."

"Are you worried about what happened at the Academy?  The game and those bullies I heard about?"

"No.  I just…"  I guess everyone knew about it.  Oh, well – it's not like any of it was really my fault.   I came pretty close to spilling the java beans about Lisa, but I didn't quite jump off the cliff.  "I just kinda forgot how much I love you guys and being here reminds me, you know.  How much I miss you.  How much I'll miss you when I go back."

"Oh." She said softly.  She might have been with Matrix when he was 1.3, but I'm pretty sure he never had the problem I was having now so she didn't guess what was bothering me. "Well, you know we miss you too.  We all love you."

"I know."

She wrapped her arm around me and I let my head rest against her shoulder.  "I think you feel guilty."

"What?"  All of my alarm bells went off at once.

She smiled down at me.  "Maybe you feel a little guilty about growing up, you know?  About leaving us behind and becoming a new person."

She was close – uncomfortably close.  I thought maybe she was more right than I'd even realized, and I guess she thought that was why I looked the way I did when she said it.  "Maybe.  A little."

"You don't have to.  You're not leaving us behind, Sparky – you're still Enzo, and we all still love you and we always will.  And you'll always love us, too – that's all that matters."

"But – what if I change?"

"So what?  Matrix changed a lot and I never stopped loving _him_."

"But you were _with_ him!"  Not to mention, I didn't really want to change in all the ways Matrix did.

AndrAIa sighed.  "You don't think you've changed anyway, since the reboot?  You don't think you're different than Matrix was when he was 1.3?  Of course you are!  We _all_ change, Enzo – that's what keeps life interesting.  We just have to keep finding new ways to love each other and help each other.  They're not any better or worse than the old ways – just different.  And they're always changing."

"You think?"

"I _know_.  I came from a place where things never changed when I was a little girl.  I wasn't really _alive_ there – I knew it, but I didn't _know_ I knew it till you showed up and opened my eyes.  Change _is _life, Sparky.  We grow all the time – we have to.  And you're growing now by meeting new people and doing new things and doing stuff for yourself more.  You don't have to feel guilty about it – we miss you, but we'll love you just as much when you come home.  Understand?"

"I think so.  Thanks, Andri."  I kissed her cheek and she giggled.  "It's just hard sometimes not to feel sad, you know?"

"I know."

"But AndrAIa, I-"

"Don't think so much."  She kissed me softly on top of the head.  "You always did that  - that's one thing you and Matrix have in common.  He likes to act like he doesn't anymore, but he does – he analyzes everything he does and looks for something wrong with it."

Ouch.  That hit pretty close.  "Maybe I do that sometimes…"

"We _all_ do it sometimes.  Now - I want you to do something _else_ for me, OK?"  She lifted my chin with her hand.

"Sure.  What?"

"Go back to the Academy and don't be afraid to grow up, OK?  We're your family and nothing you do will ever change that.  No one expects you to stay a kid forever – not even Dot.  I promise.  So live your life and don't be afraid, whatever happens.  And when you come home, we'll be waiting for you with pizza and jetball and all the hugs you can stand.  Sound good?"

"Yeah." I smiled.  User, AndrAIa is amazing – it still hurt, knowing that she wasn't the girl I was destined to be with.  I'd always known it, but somehow I'd managed to not think about it very often.  It was cool, imagining there was only one utterly alphanumeric girl in the entire net – I knew that wasn't true, now, and it made me sad.  But I was starting to realize that knowledge didn't make AndrAIa any less special.  "How about one of those hugs now?"

"A down payment?" she grinned.  

"Yeah."  I put my arms around her and smelled her mermaid smell and dreamed one last time about what could have been, if things had been different.  "Thanks.  I love you."

"Love you too, Little Sparky.  You ready to party now?"

"You bet!"  I held onto her for a few nanos, just 'cause when Andri hugs you it isn't easy to let go.  And then we went back to the party.

And it was a good party – like I said, one of the best nights of my processing.  We had some incredible food and we talked and Bob played guitar and sang a couple of songs and Dot rolled her eyes at how terrible his voice was.  Everyone wanted to know about my adventures at the Academy, of course, so I told them about Mouse's combat class and some of the stuff she did, and that made everybody laugh.  I talked about the games and the dorm and Linux and I even talked about the fight with Zip in the rec room, and even though I saw Dot wince everyone else seemed pretty impressed, especially Matrix.  There was some stuff I didn't talk about, though – stuff that was mine and no one else's and I just wasn't ready to share yet.  Maybe ever.

After a while Dot went down and got Mac and of course he was the center of attention for a while then, but that was OK – babies are always the center of attention and I'd had an awful lot of it already that night so I was feeling a little tired.  Mac wasn't, though – he was rested and ready and putting on a show.  You wouldn't think a kid could change that much in six minutes but he was definitely taller, and he was crawling better, and he even had more hair.  It was starting to get a little kink in it just like Bob's.  Even I had to admit it was really cute.

I didn't really notice it happening but at some point in the evening most of the food was gone, and the conversations were getting softer, and there were less people in the diner and finally it was just my family and Mouse and Cecil – Phong said something about being too old a program to stay up so late.  We left Cecil whirring around and complaining about the mess and went downstairs, the five of us, Mac in my arms and Frisket trailing along behind us.  And then we were sitting on the couch in the living room and Mouse was in the easy chair and Mac was on my lap, giggling, and Frisket put his head down on my feet.

"Anyone for a cup of cocoa?" Dot asked.

"Can I have java?"

"Not unless I've lost my mind and they forgot to inform me.  So – five cocoas, then?"

"Thanks a lot." I muttered.  Dot disappeared into the kitchen amidst a chorus of giggles at my expense.  Even Mac giggled when he heard everyone else do it, and that just made them laugh more.  Oh, well – it was hard to stay too grumpy with a giggling baby on your lap.

"Hey, Macster!"  Mac really was an amazing little spud – he had these big eyes and he was always looking around and squinting and smiling and frowning and fidgeting and trying to figure stuff out.  I admit I don't have a lot of experiences what with being the only little sprite in town and all, but I'd never seen anything remotely like him.  I just couldn't get over how quick he changed.  

"He's happy to see you." Bob said.

"He doesn't have a clue who I am.  No idea."

"Oh, Enzo!" Dot scowled, walking back in with a tray and five mugs.  "Of course he does.  He adores you!  He's not gonna forget you in six minutes."

"That's like half his life!"

"Not quite!  Believe me, his eyes lit up the nano he saw you.  You're his favorite playmate."  She settled down in an easy chair and sipped her cocoa.

"Me?  Me?  Is that right?"  I held him up under his arms and he kicked his little feet and giggled.  Mac had something I would never have – he was Bob and Dot's son.  I'd be lying if I said I never felt jealous of that, but I think I'd come to accept it – mostly because of Dot and how amazing she was.  I tried to think of Mac as my little brother, and that helped.  I set him down on the floor and Frisket picked his head up and Mac shot straight towards Matrix and slammed into his feet, and that made everybody laugh, even Matrix.  He picked Mac up and turned him around, like he was aiming a missile.

"So Enzo." Bob said, leaning over towards me.  Bob and Matrix and Andri and I were packed pretty tight on the couch.  "Tell me about this fight.  What's the real story?"

I shrugged.  "Uh – not much of one.  Pretty much what I said before."

"I don't recall anyone mentioning anything to us about this at the time." Dot said, looking straight at Mouse.

"Sugar-"

"It's not Mouse's fault." I interrupted.  "I asked her not to tell you guys."

"Why, Enzo?  Don't I deserve to know about things like that?"

I fidgeted.  This sort of attention wasn't my favorite thing – it reminded me of being a little kid and getting in trouble.  "What could you have done about it, Dot?"

"What?  I… I would have talked to Laser, made sure it didn't happen again!"

"That would have been terrible." I sighed.  "Those guys were giving me a bad enough time – if I'd ratted them out it would've been even worse."

"But-"

"Dot, you just would have been worried!  And I'd still have had to deal with it myself anyway.   So why tell you?"

"How did it happen?" Bob asked. "Why was this Zip kid on your case?"

"I dunno.  He just _was_.  He's a jerk.  He and his friend Calisto – they're the ones who bothered me, right from the beginning."

"Why, Enzo?" AndrAIa frowned.  "Why would they want to do that?"

"I don't know.  Because they thought I was just a little kid who only got into the Academy 'cause he knew Bob.  'Cause it's easy to pick on somebody little.  How should I know?"

"It's all right." Dot sighed.  "We understand, Enzo."

"You didn't start the fight, did you?"

"No, Bob!  I never started a fight.  I was just defending myself, I promise!"

"Easy, Tiger – I believe you." Bob smiled. 

"The kid's right, Sugar – he never started any of this stuff, he just had to deal with it.  This kinda thing goes on at the Academy, always has – you know that, Bob.  Big guys haze the little guys.  Little guys have to fight for respect."

"Sounds wonderful." Dot scowled.  "I can really understand why Enzo loves it so much."

"Life can be tough, Honey.  Your boy stood up for himself and he's a better man for it, far as I'm concerned.  'Course, those kids took things to a whole new level by messin' with the game rosters, but they paid the price – they're out.  But it ain't none of it Enzo's fault."

"I know.  I never thought for a nano it _was_.  It's just so hard for me to think about him being in trouble and not be able to _do_ anything about it."

"I'm sorry, Dot." I said softly.  I couldn't think of anything else _to_ say.

"Dot, Enzo has to learn to fight for himself." Matrix said, breaking a long silence from him.

"He's only a child, Enzo.  I don't know that I want him fighting _anybody_."

"That's not what I mean."  I know Matrix doesn't care much for talking in front of more than one sprite, so this wasn't easy for him, but he kept talking.  "Dot, you're the most incredible sprite I know – you protect him from everything.  You're a great- Well – a great _mom_ to Enzo.  Just like you were to me.  But Enzo has to find out what kind of sprite he is _without_ you there to do all that."

"Like _you_ did, you mean?"

Matrix scowled.  "I think this is a little better way for him to learn than the way I did – don't you?"

Dot sighed, and no one said anything for a few nanos.  AndrAIa grabbed Matrix' arm and stroked it slowly.  Dot finally fell back in her chair with a sad smile.  "I understand what you're saying.  All of you.  But Enzo and I have already talked about this and I'm just going to have to deal with it as well as I can.  I knew it wouldn't be easy and User, was I right – it's a thousand times harder than I ever dreamed it could be."

"It's not easy for me either, you know." I said softly.  Mac had wandered back over to me and I picked him up and cradled him on my lap.

"I know, Sweetie.  We'll be all right – both of us.  It'll get easier with time, I think."

"You'll feel better once we've spent some time at the Academy." Bob smiled.  "So you can see for yourself why Enzo wants to be there – and how well he's doing."

"I'm sure you're right."  She reached across and squeezed my knee.  "He's right about you doing well, too – Laser and Mouse both told me how proud they are of you.  You're a hero, Sweetie."

"No I'm not.  I just didn't want to be infected."  And there was a little matter of protecting Lisa, too.  I sure didn't think of myself as a hero – but that didn't mean I wasn't a little proud.

"I never doubted you for a nano."  Dot came over and hugged me and I sighed and hugged her back, over Mac's head.  "It was never about doubting you, Enzo – don't ever think that.  It's only about missing you with all my heart."

"I know, Sis."

"We're _all_ proud of you, Enzo." AndrAIa said.  "But none of us are surprised."

"Yeah." Matrix winked.  "Maybe you got some good advice on the way, huh?  But when push came to shove you had to do it on your own – and you did.  Not bad, Kid."

"Thanks.  You guys rock."  I looked around the room and felt totally grateful to everyone in there.  "But I didn't do it by myself – you have to let people help you whenever you can, y'know?  You're lucky if you've got people who _want_ to."

"No problem there." AndrAIa smiled.  "Just try and stop us!"

Dot clapped her hands once.   "All right, Gang – I think our young cadet needs to get some rest now.  He's had a big cycle."

"C'mon Dot – I'm not tired."  That was a reflex, I guess – I _was_ pretty exhausted.

"Not from where I'm sitting – you look worn out.  You need your sleep."  Right on cue I yawned, just like if Dot were pushing a button or something.

"About time for us to head out anyways.  We're on for jetball tomorrow, right?"

"Sure AndrAIa.  Cool!  See you at breakfast."

"Cool.  Night Sparky."

"Night, Gang.  I'm gonna make an early start and meet Phong over at the P.O. – may as well update the system files while I'm here, check up on AndrAIa and old Phong's handiwork."  Mouse and Dot hugged, and she winked at me and followed AndrAIa outside.

"Night, Kid."

"Night, Matrix.  You wanna play jetball with us tomorrow?"

"We'll see.  It's a work cycle, you know."

"Jeez…"

"We'll _see_, Kiddo." He chuckled.  I stood, still holding Mac, and Matrix ruffled his hair and then threw his big arm around me.  "Good to have you home."

"Thanks, Matrix.  Thanks for being there for me, OK?  I wouldn't have made it if you weren't."

"Yeah, well…"  He blushed a little bit.  "What're big brothers for, y'know?  I'm just glad you got something out of it."

_That_ was the understatement of the hour.  "You're a pretty smart guy, Matrix."

"Why can't everyone _else_ figure that out?"  He winked, tousled my hair and followed AndrAIa and Mouse outside.

"What was that all about?" Bob asked suspiciously.

"Nothing. I just asked him about some stuff, and he helped me out."

"Hmmm…"

"You know those two – always plotting something.  Can't trust any of those Enzos." Dot grinned.  "Give me the little boy, Big Boy – it's time for _him_ to go to bed, too."

"OK.  Night, Macster."  I gave Mac a kiss on the head and handed him to Dot.  I waved at him, but that was a skill he hadn't quite mastered yet – he just looked at me like I was basic.

"Night, Daddy's Little Man." Bob grinned, frazzling Mac's hair with both hands until he started giggling.

"Get to bed, Enzo.  I'll be in there in a little while."

"OK if I talk to Bob first?" I sighed, loud enough for Dot to hear me.

"For a few micros.  But I want your bitmap in that bed when I come to check on you, got it?"

"Fine!"  Dot disappeared down the hall with Mac and I sat next to Bob on the sofa, shaking my head.  "She's trying to catch up on six weeks of nagging in one night…"

"Go easy on her.  She's really missed you around here, you know.  She just wants to feel like you're her little boy again."

"I know."  Bob ruffled my hair a little and put his arm around me and I leaned my head on his chest and closed my eyes.  Cursors and crashes, I'd missed that – we used to sit together on the couch before I went to bed almost every night and it was one of my favorite parts of the cycle.  And when I was done with the Academy I'd be too old for it.  That made me sad.  But that nano it was like nothing had changed, and it felt as natural as anything in the net.  "I missed you, Bob.  I missed you like crazy."

"I know." He said softly.  

"Sometimes I could forget for a while but crash, it's gonna be hard to leave again…"

"Yeah, I know.  When you love somebody you want to be with them all the time, but sometimes you can't.  That first time leaving home is the worst, though – User, I remember like it was yesterday."

"I'll be OK, I guess.  It really is getting better over there.  If I try not to think about you guys every nano I'll make it."  The weird thing was, sometimes I _did_ forget about them – I'd get wrapped up in Lisa and games and whatever and Dot and Bob and everyone would fly out of my processor.  But that was almost worse in a way – it scared me that I could forget people I loved so easily, even for a little while.  But I don't know if Bob guessed any of that.  

"You'll be fine."  I felt him smoothing my hair softly.  "All roads lead home, so they say.  It's just that some of them are longer than others."

"Two hours is a long one." I whispered.

"Seems like it.  But it's not so long when you think about your whole life – Matrix was gone for eleven hours, by his reckoning."  He was quiet for a nano, breathing slowly and deeply, and I let the rising and falling of his chest relax me.  "Enzo, if you have real problems – serious stuff – I want you to tell me about it right now, OK?  You're growing up but that doesn't mean you have to _be_ a grown-up all at once.  If you need help, I want to help you."

I opened my eyes and lifted my head a little, so we could look at each other.  It was amazing how much Bob looked like Laser, at just the right angle.  "I'm OK, Bob.  I really am.  It was bad for a while but now it's better.  Honest."

"You being straight with me, Tiger?  You don't have to be proud right now – just honest.  If it weren't for me you wouldn't _be_ at that Academy and if anything happens to you, I'll-"

"It really is all right, Bob." I smiled.  "The parts I like are great, and I'm learning to deal with the other stuff.  I'm OK."

He stared hard at me for a nano or two, then smiled.  "OK.  But if you _ever_ need me, you tell me.  Got that?"

"Got it, Bob."

"Good.  Now c'mere."  He pulled me close to him and hugged me tightly.  "Gotta make up for lost time, right?"

"Yeah."  I just wanted to soak up as much affection as I could, like recharging my internal batteries.  User, I felt safe right then – it'd always seemed like it was impossible for me to be really afraid whenever Bob was with me, and as we'd gotten closer and closer over the hours that feeling had gotten stronger and stronger with each passing cycle.  

"You're a credit to that uniform, Tiger.  What you did in that game is what 'To Mend and Defend' is all about.  That girl needed you, and you came through for her.  For the whole Academy.  You've even impressed the hell out of my father – and believe me, that's the biggest compliment of all.  That's almost impossible to do!"

"He's not so bad." I whispered.  "He even reminds me of you, sometimes."

"I never thought I'd hear anyone say _that_." He chuckled.  "Well, he thinks the net of you now, Enzo – and you know how _I_ feel.  You're gonna be a great Guardian."

"Thanks."  The whole notion of me being a _real_ Guardian still seemed days away to me, but it couldn't hurt to know Bob and Laser thought I was doing OK.

"How's your buddy Linux doing?  I liked him – he's a good kid."

"He's OK.  He's doing pretty well in his classroom stuff, and I'm helping him with some of the games stuff.  We're even trying to get him a girlfriend!"

"We?"

"Oh, uh…  Me and another friend.  You don't know them."

"Oh."  That was a close shave - I'd never have slipped that one past _Dot_ so easy.

"Linux is kinda shy.  But he's a really good kid."  Bob laughed softly.  "What's funny?"

"Nothing.  Just hearing you talk about Linux like that.  Remember what I said to you the cycle I left Gallifrey – how the next time I saw you, you were gonna be a different sprite?  Well – there you go."

"What?"  I opened my eyes and looked at his smiling face.

"When I left you, you were calling yourself a freak and saying how you weren't gonna be able to deal with other kids.  Now here you are getting together with friends to help out another friend 'cause _he's_ shy…winning infected games on your own…  Seems like you left a lot of that little boy behind you in the last six minutes, Kiddo."

It sounded funny, hearing it like that…  "I…  I'm just trying to fit in.  Mostly I was just trying to _survive_, for a while!  It's not like I was thinking about growing up or anything…"

"I know.  That's how it works."  He gave me a good squeeze.  "You find a little more of yourself every time you look.  It's a little sad, but it's a part of growing up.  I loved that little boy, but I love the young man just as much.  I guess that's the best thing about having a kid – you get to watch them grow and change and no two cycles are ever the same…  I'm a pretty lucky guy."

"Bob…"  I squeezed him back, giving as good as I got.  "It's gonna be so great having you at the Academy for six minutes.  I wish it could be for the whole two hours!"

"Yeah – gonna be fun.  Bring back a lot of memories.  Don't think I'm gonna take it easy on you in my class though, Shorty!"

"I know."  I grinned.  "You never did before.  I wouldn't want you to."

"Monkey."  He got me in a headlock and we wrassled for a few nanos, laughing, until he got my shirt halfway up over my head.

"Give!  I give!"

"You sure?"

"Yeah – give!"

"Who's the boss around here?"

"You are." I panted.

"Smart kid."  Finally he slapped me on the back hard enough to rattle my ribs.  "Better get you docked before your sister finds out I'm keeping you up.  I don't need that kind of trouble."

"OK." I sighed.  I stood and helped Bob up and gave him one more big hug.  "Night, Bob.  You're the coolest."

"Don't you forget it!  I'll see you at breakfast.  Sleep tight."

"Night."  Knowing I was gonna see Bob when I woke up in the morning was one the greatest memories I had – I loved the feeling, like something you always hoped for but never expected would come true.  Like going to breakfast expecting bytemeal and getting pizza instead.

I walked slowly towards my room – _my_ room! – really savoring the idea that I was gonna be sleeping in my own docking bay again.  I was surprised to see Dot sitting on it when I got there.  "Sis!"

"Hi Little Brother.  Ready for bed?"

"Yeah.  Sorry I took so long with Bob, I know you said-"

"It's all right." She smiled, patting the bed next to her.  "You guys have a lot of catching up to do."

I booted into my shorts and T-shirt and sat down next to her.  "What're you doin' in here, anyway?" I asked, taking off my boots and socks.

"Nothing much." She sighed, looking around the room.  "Just thinking."

"About what?"

She didn't say anything for a few nanos.  "I didn't spend much time in this room while you were gone, you know?  You left it in quite a mess – naturally! – but I didn't much feel like being in here."

"Why?"  I noticed for the first time that the room _was_ kinda messy, pretty much like I'd left it.

"Too sad."  She looked at me and smiled, and then away, somewhere far off.  "I thought about the last time this room was empty.  Every time I came in here I cried and cried – I couldn't help it.  I know things were very different this time, but you can't help where your mind goes."

"You mean when Matrix…"

"I came in here a few times after you left for the Academy, planning to straighten things up, you know.  But I saw you in everything – the dirty clothes, the posters, the games, the bed…  I couldn't be in here without thinking about you and it was a little too sad, I guess."  She smiled and tweaked my nose.  "I _did_ wash your dirty clothes though, you stinker!"

"Sorry about leaving it like that.  I wasn't thinking, I guess."

"It's all right.  You had other things on your mind."  She wrapped me up and kissed my head.  "But you're here now, so let's just be happy about that.  You'll be grown-up and cleaning up after yourself soon enough.  I think you've gotten bigger, even since you left!  I wonder if I can still carry you…"

"Dot, no!"

"Let's see.  Hang on." She giggled.  She got an arm under me and stood up, my arms wrapped around her neck.  "Oof!  Where are you hiding all that weight, Little Man?  They say muscle weighs more than fat…"

"Put me down!  C'mon, Dot."

"All right."  Grinning, she set me down in bed and wiped her brow dramatically.  "Either you're working out too much or I'm not working out enough!"

"Very funny!  I don't think I've grown at all, Spammit."

Dot pulled up the covers and I wriggled underneath, then she sat down next to me  "Sure you have.  Give me your hand."  I held up my hand, palm out, and she covered it with her own.  "Now your foot."  I kicked one bare foot out from the blanket and she held her foot next to it.  "See?  I've got shoes on but your feet are almost my size, now.  And your hand's almost as big as mine, too.  That means you're gonna have a growth spurt soon."

"Really?"

"Sure.  That's how it goes with boys."

"I hope so." I sighed.  "It's not easy being so much littler than everybody else all the time.  _Here_ was bad enough, but at the Academy…"

"Don't worry – you'll grow soon enough.  Enjoy being a kid while you can."  Dot wrapped her arm around me and kissed my cheek.  "You must be exhausted – I'll let you go to sleep-"

"No!  No, please don't.  Stay a while."

"Really?"

"Please?"  I wasn't tired, all of a sudden – I was wide awake and I felt like I really didn't want to be alone.  "Let's stay up all night and talk!"

"I don't _think_ so!" Dot laughed.  "I know what you'd be like tomorrow, believe me.  But I suppose a few micros couldn't hurt."

"Alphanumeric!"  I grinned and hugged her and she laughed.

"You always were a cuddler.  Ever since you were a baby…  You loved to hug me.  You'd do it for millis and millis until you feel asleep."

"I just miss you."  I knew I was acting half my age, but I couldn't help it – I'd been looking after myself for six minutes, and it felt pixelacious to let it all slide away and just let Dot take care of me for a little while.

"I know, Sweetie." She sighed.  "I miss you too."  We hugged for a while and she smoothed my hair.  "I thought you said you wanted to talk."

"I do.  So say something."

"Hmmm.  So – I heard you sang for Bob!"

"Oh, crash…"

"What's the matter?" she giggled.  "You have such a beautiful voice, you should be proud of it.  Bob said you sang wonderfully."

"He _did_?  Man…"

"Poor Enzo.  Your voice will change soon, I promise.  Don't worry – you're almost there."

"Really?" I whispered.  "You really think so?"

"You could ask your brother, if you're really worried.  I know it'll be soon.  But I'll miss your old one, you know."

"I won't!"

"Such a hurry.  You're in such a hurry…" she sighed.  "Don't worry, everything will change so fast none of us will be able to keep up with you – including you!  It'll all come in time."

"I guess."  I _was_ in a hurry to grow up, that was true – Dot, as usual, could read me like a  - well, like a _read-me_.  But I was scared of it, too – and I have to confess there was a part of me that wanted to stay a boy that could still cuddle with Dot and not feel embarrassed.

"So – tell me all about the Academy.  What's it like?"

"It's OK.  I'm doing good."

"Talkative, aren't you?  How are the game-rosters?  Are you getting a lot of experience?"

I opened my eyes.  "_You _know about the game rosters?"

Dot laughed.  "I know more about the about the Academy than _you_ do, I bet!"

"Dot!"

"I researched every little detail, Kiddo.  I talked to Mouse and Laser and I found out about the living arrangements, and the food, and the medical staff…" 

"Really?  You did all that?"

She kissed my nose.  "You're my boy, Enzo.  I wasn't gonna let you go off somewhere unless I knew in my heart it was a safe place for you to be."

"Wow."  I was surprised – but the more I thought about it, the less surprised I figured I should have been.  This _was_ Dot we were talking about, after all.  And it was really flattering, in a way.

"I had to be sure, Angel.  Even after all that I was still worried sick, but I don't think there's any way I could _not_ be, unless I had you with me.  But I'm glad you're adjusting – even though I'm _still_ worried sick, especially after that game and those awful boys."

"Don't worry.  I'll be all right – they're gone." I smiled weakly.

"Yeah." She sighed.  "Well, how are things otherwise?  How's the food?"

"OK.  There's lots of it.  But it's not like yours."

Dot smiled.  "And your dorm?  Your first 'place of your own'?"

I giggled.  "Fine.  Small, and I hate the shared showers – but it's OK.  We have a rec room with games and quicktimes and stuff."

"And fights, apparently.  You like your roommate?"

"Linux?  He's pixelacious.  We're totally friends."

"Good!  And how about classes – are you doing your homework?  Studying hard?"

I looked down at my feet and hoped I wasn't blushing.  "I'm doing good.  I got… I got distracted a few times, at the beginning. But I'm doing better now, and I'm doing OK in all my classes."

"Enzo…"

"Honest, Dot – I know it's important, I won't screw up!"

"Hmmm.  OK, then.  But be sure you work hard – there's no substitute for it, no matter what anyone says."  She lifted my chin with a finger.  "Meet any pretty girls yet?"

Every alarm I had went nuts right then, and total panic mode set in.  I tried to bite back on it but I'm pretty sure it must've showed on my face.  "Uh-"

"Hmmm.  _Lots_ of pretty girls there, I'll just bet.  You kiss any of them yet?"  She smiled, like she was making a joke.  When I didn't answer right away, her mouth dropped open.  "Enzo!"

"No!  I didn't-"

"You _did_!  Enzo Christopher Matrix!"

"Oh, _Dot_!" I groaned.

"You did!  You got kissed, didn't you?"

"Matrix _told_ you!  Spammit!"

"Wha-  Matrix?  _He_ knows?  He didn't tell me anything!"

"Mouse, then!"

"Mou-  _She_ knows, too?  I'm gonna delete that hacker, I swear to the User!"  She scowled and stared hard at me.  "No one told me, Enzo.  _No_ one told me.  Isn't that nice…"

"Crash, how do you _know_, then?  I said I _didn't_!"

She laughed and shook her head.  "I know my boy, Kiddo.  It was obvious the nano I brought it up.  User, I can't believe it…"

"It's not that big a deal."  I couldn't believe she _knew_ – I was talking about this with _Dot_!  And there was no escape!

"Oh, Enzo.  Enzo, Enzo…"  She hugged me so tight my ribs ached.  "Enzo…"

"Ow!  You're hurting me, cut it out!"

"Was it that girl you were in the game with?  Leslie?"

"Lisa."

"Lisa.  So it _was_ her!"

"Oh, _Dot_!"

"Enzo."  She loosened her grip enough to hold my face in her hands.  "I'm missing so much, it's all happening so fast.  You had your first kiss and I wasn't even there afterwards!  Do you know how that makes me feel?"

"Dot, it's no big deal."

"No big deal, huh?  Is that how you felt when it happened?"

"Uh…  Well, no-"

"Crash.  I understand Mouse knowing, but how in the net did _Matrix_ know?"

"Jeez." I sighed.  "When I first started having problems with those guys, I called and asked for his advice.  And it just sort of slipped out.  I told him he couldn't tell you."

"Oh Enzo – why?  Why did you tell him that?"

"'Cause I was embarrassed and I knew you wouldn't understand!  And it's none of your business!"

Her mouth popped open again.  "None…  None of my business?  It's none of my business?"

"Dot, I didn't mean it like that-"

"None of my business.  Wow."

This was going even worse than I'd dreaded, if that was even imaginable.  "I…  I just…  I don't know.  It's embarrassing and I thought you'd be upset and-"

"Upset?  Honey, why did you think I'd be upset?"

"Well – you _are_.  Aren't you?"

"Hmm!  Enzo, I'm upset because I wasn't _there_ when one of the biggest moments of your life was happening.  I'm upset because you didn't want me to know about it.  But I'm not upset because it _happened_ – it's exciting, it's wonderful.  I just want to _share_ these things with you, don't you see?"

"Really?  I just…  I feel funny about it.  I don't know why."

Dot smiled and sighed deeply.  "Is she pretty?"

I closed my eyes and squirmed and blushed.  "I…  I don't know."

"Enzo, listen to me, all right?"  She was still holding my face in her hands, and she stroked my cheek slowly.  "Enzo, I've loved you unconditionally since the cycle you were born.  I've been with you through every nightmare, every celebration, every growing pain…  Please don't tell me you can't share something so important with me now."

I sighed and closed my eyes.  I really did want to talk to her about it – I wanted to tell _everyone_.  Thing was, I _knew_ she wouldn't get it.  But this was _Dot_ for User's sake – my mother and big sister and everything in between since I was a little baby.  "Is she pretty, Angel?"

"Yeah."  I opened my eyes and returned the smile I saw on her face.  "She's really beautiful, Sis."

Dot moved her hands down to my shoulders.  "I'll bet!  How old is she?"

"1.4."

"Too old for you…"

"Sis!"

"Sorry!" she chuckled.  "So - how many times have you kissed her?"

"Dot!" I gasped.  "I don't know.  Jeez!  Only a couple times or something."

"A couple times, huh?  Tell me about her!"

"Tell you what?"  If Dot didn't know about Avatar, I wasn't gonna be the one to upload the data.  _That_ I could live with postponing as long as possible.

"Enzo, for 13 hours I can't shut you up and _now_ you don't want to talk?  You'll be the deletion of me…"

"I'm sorry!  I just don't know what to say."

"_Tell _me about her!" Dot sighed, with exaggerated patience.  I knew that move all too well.  "How did you meet?  Why do you like her so much?"

"We met at lunch.  In the mess hall.  I…  I sorta saw her and I…I…"

"What, Honey?"

"I dunno.  I sorta _knew_ right then that I wanted her to be my girlfriend.  I went over to her and we talked and the next cycle we talked a little more and pretty soon we were eating lunch together all the time."

"So – you just went right up to her – just like that? Because you knew?"

"Yeah." I shrugged.  "I was really nervous at first – well, for a long time.  But she was cool about it."

"Wow!  I'm impressed, Little Brother – that took guts." Dot smiled.  "And why were you sure?  How'd you know you liked her?  Why is she so special?"

"She just _is_."  I was discovering that being in love was one of those things that was hard to explain to someone else – I _knew_ exactly why I was, but getting it into words was the hard part.  "She's nice.  She's really beautiful and funny and she didn't mind that I'm, y'know…  Still little and all."

"She sounds wonderful." Dot sighed, with a kiss to my forehead.  "What does she look like?"

"Um…  My height.  Well, taller - but not much.  She has teal skin and gold hair and Dot, she's just totally beautiful.  She's amazing!"

She laughed softly.  "There's nothing like your first love, Enzo.  You'll never forget her, I promise – no matter how many girlfriends you have.  She'll always be special."

"She _is_ special.  But I'm not gonna have any more girlfriends.  Just Lisa."

"Honey, I'm sure you think that now, but trust me – lots of things will happen and you'll have plenty of girlfriends."

"No!"  I said it louder than I wanted.  "No - I won't.  Lisa is the only one I'll ever have.  I know it."

"Enzo, you're still a little boy, you can't know-"

I felt a boiling rage building up inside me.  How could anyone doubt Lisa and me?  What right did they have?  "I _love_ her!  I _do_ know!"

Dot's eyes widened in surprise.  "I'm sorry, Enzo.  I didn't mean to upset you – but you really are too-"

"See?" I fumed.  "See?  I _said_ you wouldn't understand!  I knew it!"  What I really hated was, Dot was treating me like a little kid – and having her do it was making me _act_ like one.

"Enzo-"

"I love her, Sis.  I know you think I'm a baby but I don't care – I really do love her and she loves me too – she told me so.  I'm not a baby and I don't care whether anyone else believes me or not."  That was a lie – I _did_ care that Dot didn't believe me.  I desperately wanted her to understand.

"Goodness!" Dot whispered.  "Where did all this come from?  Six minutes ago you couldn't be bothered to comb your hair and now you're madly in love?"

"I'm sorry."  I wiped my eyes quickly.  "I didn't plan it or anything.  I just met her and I really liked her, and she liked me.  And she…  She understood what…  What stuff was like for me, and she didn't care about me being little or a copy and not knowing how to act around other kids or any of it – she just liked _me_.  She's just a really great person and she's nice and she needs me and I love her."

"Enzo-"

"And she loves me back." I whispered.  "And then we were in that game and…  And they tried to hurt her.  Bad.  And I knew I'd delete before I let anything happen, and I tried everything to save her and she was so brave, and then she had to save _me_, and she did, and the reason I got infected – almost – is 'cause Zip was trying to infect _her_ and I had to stop him.  We helped each other and we saved each other and we _love_ each other and I don't care if you believe me, we do!"

Dot stared at me for a nano, wide-eyed, as I sat there panting.  Then she hugged me and I let her, even though part of me didn't want to.  "I'm sorry, Angel.  I didn't know it meant that much to you.  I'm sorry I upset you."

This was better – I knew Dot felt bad, but it still wasn't _right_.  She still didn't take me seriously about Lisa, but I wasn't sure if she ever would – not for a long time anyway.  If she knew what they'd really planned to do to Lisa in that game maybe she would – but she'd be horrified, too.  I know _I_ was.  And it wasn't my place to tell her anyway. "I…  Sorry I yelled."

"I'm sorry too, Angel."

I wiped my eyes on her shoulder and took a few deep breaths.  "It's OK that you don't believe me, Dot.  I know you think I'm just a little kid.  But you'll see – Lisa and I will be together forever.  We love each other and we always will.  I _know_ it."

I looked up and Dot stared at me and smiled.  "Maybe you will.  You never were one to hold back your feelings.  Maybe it's the same now, with her."

"I love her, Dot."  

"Then she's a very lucky girl.  'Cause when _you_ love somebody, you love them with all your heart – I know."

"Matrix…  Matrix knew he loved AndrAIa.  And he was even younger than me."

"Yeah." Dot chuckled.  "So he was, Sweetie.  Well, she must be a really amazing girl – and she's got herself one amazing boy."  She kissed me on the nose.  "I can't wait to meet her."

The picture that rendered in my head made me excited and terrified at the same time.  "You'll love her, Dot – she's awesome.  It'll be the best!"  I hoped…

"I know I will.  'Cause _you_ do.  My User, I can't believe it.  My little brother with a steady girlfriend."

"Yeah."

"I just can't believe how much you've grown up in six minutes, Enzo – I just can't believe it." She sighed.  "I feel like I've missed so much…"

"That's what Bob said, too.  That I'd left-  That I'd changed a lot in six minutes."

"Well – Bob's pretty smart.  That's why I keep him around!" Dot grinned.

"It _does_ seem like longer sometimes.  It really does."

"Speaking of Bob…  Enzo, well…  Did, um…"

"What?"

"Well – Did Bob-"

"Yes." I sighed.  "We had a talk."

"Good." Dot let out a big breath and sounded _very_ relieved.  "Not that you _need_ that talk yet!  And not that _I_ wouldn't _want_ to have that talk with you. Or-"

"Dot, It's OK.  Promise."

"Good.  Just… good."  She blew out a breath and smiled.  "What a boy you are, Enzo.  You always keep me guessing, don't you?"

"I don't _try_ to.  I can't help it when stuff like this happens."

"I wouldn't want it any other way." She giggled.  "Come here, now."  She pulled me up and put my head on her shoulder.  "User, I've missed this.  And you're almost too old for it, now.  Where does the time go, Enzo?"

"Away." I whispered.

"Mmm."  Dot didn't say anything for a long time, and I couldn't think of anything to say myself.  I was thinking about how right she was – I was almost too old for this.  _Wasn't_ I?  But I didn't _want_ to be – did that make me a baby?  There was still nothing in the net that made me feel safer than being in Dot's arms.

"You've gone quiet all of a sudden."

"So have you." I whispered.

"So I have.  I'm just enjoying every nano, that's all."  She ran her hand through my hair slowly, just like she always had for as long as I can remember.

"What're you thinking about?"

"Mmm?  About that time you had Melissa virus when you were 0.4.  You remember."

"Yeah.  You told me."

"Yeah." Dot said softly.  "I was just thinking about that first night when I brought you home from the M.U., even though Phong wanted to keep you there.  I was holding you, like now.  User, you were so sick, and I was so frightened…  It was a terrible night.   But I just now thought how _tiny_ you were – you looked so small and frail I was afraid you'd slip right through my arms.  And look at you now!  You've gotten so big and strong – it's like a miracle, when you stop and think about it.  A miracle."

"I remember."  I didn't like to think about that night – when Dot told me about it the last time it all came back, clear as yesterday.  But the memory of Dot _telling_ me about it is one of the nicest ones I'll ever have, because she did it to show me how much she loved me.

"I've been lucky enough to live through some miraculous times, Little Brother.  But the biggest miracle of all of them was getting you back after the reboot, when I thought I'd lost you forever.  I never even let myself hope for that."

I knew it was my turn to say something then, but I really couldn't muster any words and I guess Dot heard me snuffling.  "What's wrong, Sweetie?"

"I feel sad."

"Why?"

"I…  I dunno.  I just do, for some reason."

"It'll be all right."  She rocked me back and forth slowly now, falling back on old habits I guess.  "Things aren't so bad, are they?  You're a Guardian Cadet, and you're doing great.  You've met a wonderful girl, made friends.  And we're together right now.  Things are pretty good, don't you think?"

"Yeah." I tried to smile but I didn't do a very good job of it.

"So why are you sad?"

"No reason."  I sighed.  "Just being basic."  I _knew_ why I was sad – I was thinking about what Dot said, about me being too old for this.  And about how I'd thought the same thing when I'd sat with Bob on the sofa with my head on his chest.  Time _did_ go away, and you never got it back, and when I was too old for those things I'd never get _them_ back – never.  And the worst part of it?  I didn't even know who I was anymore.  I wanted more than anything to be able to let Dot hold me and make me safe and have that be all that mattered, ever.  I wanted to be Bob's kid, the one he played jetball with and wrestled with and fell asleep in front of a vidscreen with.  And someone who didn't have to think about big guys doing terrible things to little girls just because they could.  But I also wanted to be a man who took care of himself and defended systems and devoted his life to Lisa and, eventually, a man who married her and made love to her and even made a baby with her.  And I knew I couldn't be both of those sprites – even if I was lucky enough to be one some cycle, the other would slowly slip away until it was gone forever except in my long-term memory and even that would get dimmer and dimmer as I got older.  And all of that made me incredibly sad, but I couldn't tell any of it to Dot. 

"Sweetie."  She kissed me on the forehead once, then again.  "What's wrong?  Why are you sad?"

"It's OK.  We're together.  I guess I'm just tired."

"I'm keeping you up-"

"No!  Don't go, OK?  Not yet."

"All right.  A little while longer, OK?  Then sleep."

"OK."  I managed a smile, and settled myself in more comfortably.  "Thanks, Sis."

"You're welcome."  I could see by her face that I'd managed to worry her, but the worst of the sadness was passing and when I concentrated on Dot's hug and her voice I managed to look – and feel – almost happy.  It _did_ feel wonderful to be home and in Dot's arms.  "My poor Enzo.  You always did feel everything so deep, didn't you?"

"I dunno." I whispered.  "Did I?"

"It's because you don't close yourself off to people, I suppose.  I hope you never lose that when you get older."  She sighed.  "But it's selfish of me to wish that.  You'd spare yourself a lot of hurt if you _did_ get a little more of a shell…"  

"What do you mean?"

"Never mind.  You're doing just fine as you are, Angel.  But try and be happy, OK?  You're home and we're together and in a few minutes the four of us will be together as a family."

"Yeah." I smiled.  "I can't wait.  You'll really like it on Gallifrey.  And you'll love Lisa."

"I bet I will."

"Dot…  Do you think you and Bob will ever have another baby?"

She raised her eyebrow.  "Why would you ask me that now?"

"Not sure.  I just wondered."

"Well…  I'm really not sure either.  We haven't discussed it very much."  She absently brushed my hair out of my eyes – old habits again.  "I think probably not, though.  Four seems like the right number somehow – you know?  Mac and you and Bob and me.  I think that's a good number."

"Yeah – I guess so."  I sat up and kissed her on the cheek.

"Thanks." She giggled.  "Would…  Would you feel OK if we did, Enzo?  Would it bother you?"

"No.  Anything you do is fine – I just thought about it for some reason.  I'll be happy whatever you decide."

"Good.  We'll see what happens, Enzo – you never know what the future might bring.  But right now I think things are pretty good as they are."

"Me too."

"Except I wish you were with us all the time." Dot sighed.  "But we can't have everything we want, I suppose…"

"I guess not."  That's what it was all about, really – You didn't get to have everything you wanted.  Sometimes you couldn't gain something without giving up something else.  "Dot?"

"What, Angel?"

"Promise me something?"

"Of course, Enzo!  Anything."

"It's nothing big, I…  Just promise me this and I can deal with everything and be OK."

"What?"  She frowned.  "What is it?"

"Don't forget me."

"Don't-…  What in the net do you mean, Enzo?"

"Don't forget me.  When you and Mac and Bob are here and you're playing with Mac or having dinner or whatever, and you're really happy and you're all laughing…  Don't forget about me."

"I could never forget about you!  None of us could!  How could you think that?"

"I know."  I smiled weakly and Dot stroked my cheek.  "I know…  I just think about you guys together and me not being there and…  And it's hard."

"Oh, Enzo."  She pulled me to her and squeezed me tight.  "Enzo, I'll never forget about you for a nano, you know that.  You're with me every cycle and you always will be.  Always."

"Don't let them forget either." I whispered.  "Mac's so little – he forgets stuff easy.  And don't let Bob forget me either.  None of you forget me."

"Never, Enzo."

"Especially you."

"Baby, that will never happen – I promise.  Whether we're happy or sad, we'll _always_ be missing you.  All of us – Bob and Mac and Matrix and AndrAIa and Phong and Frisket…  Everybody."  She kissed me on the head, over and over.  "Especially me."

"K.  Sorry, I…  Sorry."

"Don't be sorry.  I understand, Enzo.  I'll always understand."  She held my face in her hands and smiled.  "There's not a boy anywhere in the net whose parents love him more than Bob and I love you – I promise.  Not even in this house."

Of course she understood – she always did.  As usual, I didn't even have to say what was in my processor.  And I knew then that she _would_ understand about Lisa too, even if it took a little while – because Dot knew me better than anybody else did, even Matrix.  Even _me_, if there's a difference.  And anyone who knew me that well would see that what I felt for Lisa was as real and forever as anything any sprite had ever felt.  I kissed Dot's cheek softly.  "Thanks, Sis.  You're amazing."

"So are you, you little monkey." She giggled.  She reached out and tickled me under the chin and crash, I was _still_ ticklish in that same deleted spot and I couldn't help squealing with laughter as soon as she touched me.  "Gotcha!"

"Stop!"

"What do we say, Little Brother?"

"Stop!  _Please, _stop!  Please please please!"

"There - that's how I taught you to be polite." She grinned.

"Don't _do_ that!" I panted, and fell against her.  Both of us laughed softly and I loved the sound, it set off so many memories inside me that they overflowed my processor.

It's funny – so many things had changed in my life, in six minutes.  When I came home I felt like a new person, a totally different sprite.  And I _was_ in a lot of ways.  But I was still ticklish in the same spot and I still loved it when Dot ran her hand through my hair like she always had and the sound of her laugh still filled me with so much happiness that it made me feel like I could fly.

I realized then that I could never get away from these sprites – they were all a part of me, deep inside at my very core.  I _didn't_ have to totally leave them behind - I was growing, with new layers being added on to me all the time.  Surviving a fight against a bigger kid was a layer.  A friend like Linux that was more like a brother was definitely one.  A girl like Lisa that I'd kill or die for and love till the end of time – that was a _big_ one.  All that stuff changed me.  I was growing as all these things became part of me too.  But if you peeled away the layers, one by one, you'd still find Mainframe and everyone there as you got deeper and deeper.  I knew I never really had to be alone, because all of them were part of me and they always would be, all of my parents in Mainframe.  And as you got down to the deepest layers, the very heart and soul at the center of who I was, you'd find Bob – so much of who I was and who I _wanted_ to be, that was Bob.  And the deepest layer of all, so deep that it was where I began as a person – there was Dot.  She was there, whenever I looked for her or needed her.  She was there.  And if you got to know me well enough to see that deep inside me, you'd find her there and you always would.  She was my heart.

"You OK?" She whispered, running her hand through my hair slowly.

"Yeah." I smiled.  "Thanks to you."

"Time to go to sleep, now.  I'll see you in the morning, OK?"

"Yeah.  See you in the morning."  Thinking about just how pixelacious that was, I kissed her goodnight.


End file.
